The Seattle Garages are a Blaseball team in the Mild High division of the Mild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1. The Garages played in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League until the League was restructured at the end of Season 5.
- Oliver Notarobot
- Quack Enjoyable
- Greer Gwiffin
- Malik Destiny
- Summers Pony
- Oliver Mueller
- Theodore Duende
- Paula Turnip
- Sparks Beans
- Betsy Trombone
- Tot Clark
- Arturo Huerta
- Durham Spaceman
- Goodwin Morin
- Lenny Marijuana
- Pitching Machine
In The Shadows
- Bennett Browning
- Tiana Cash
- Shaquille Torres
- Derrick Krueger
- Ron Monstera (due to the New Kid blessing in Season 8, replaced by Durham Spaceman)
- Avila Guzman (Season 4, Day 36; replaced by Farrell Seagull)
- Lang Richardson (Season 8, Day 21; replaced by Nolanestophia Patterson)
- Cedric Spliff (Season 8, Day 42; replaced by Quack Enjoyable)
- Allison Abbott (Season 8, Day 56; replaced by Paula Mason)
- Paula Mason (Season 8, Day 71; replaced by Paula Turnip)
- Farrell Seagull (Season 8, Day 102; replaced by Summers Pony)
- Henry Marshallow (Season 9, Day 21; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Ortiz Morse)
- Mike Townsend (Season 6 elections; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Nolanestophia Patterson (Season 9 elections; replaced by Mcdowell Karim)
- Mcdowell Karim (Season 9 elections; replaced by Sparks Beans)
- Ortiz Morse (Season 9 elections; replaced by Mike Townsend)
- Lori Boston (Season 9 elections; replaced by Lenny Marijuana)
- Mike Townsend (Season 10 elections; replaced by Goodwin Morin)
|Season||Record||Win %||Place in Division||Season Notes|
|1||43-54||.434||5th||The Forbidden Book was opened after this season, resulting in the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers|
|6||53-46||.535||3rd||In the Seattle Garages' first playoff appearance, the team swept the Philly Pies and the Hades Tigers before being swept in the Internet Series by the Baltimore Crabs.|
|7||55-44||.556||2nd||Beat the Charleston Shoe Thieves, then lost to the Mexico City Mild Wings 1-3 in the Mild League Championship Series.|
|8||65-34||.657||1st||Swept by the Philly Pies in the Mild League Divisional Series.|
|9||60-39||.606||1st||Beat the Philly Pies, then lost to the Charleston Shoe Thieves 1-3 in the Mild League Championship Series.|
|11||55-46||.545||1st||Beat the Charleston Shoe Thieves and Yellowstone Magic, before losing to the Hellmouth Sunbeams 1-3 in the Internet Series.|
*Season 1 is missing the results of Day 98 and 99's games. Blaseball has been lost.
In the Season 6 Elections, the Garages won the Lottery Pick and Fireproof Jacket blessings. Lottery Pick brought back deceased star Jaylen Hotdogfingers, and sent Mike Townsend to The Shadows. Fireproof Jacket targeted Oliver Mueller.
In the Season 8 Elections, the Garages won the Forever Physical, Promo Code, Home Field Advantage, and New Kid blessings. Ron Monstera was the target of Forever Physical and New Kid, the latter of which replaced them with Durham Spaceman. Promo Code recruited new pitcher Lori Boston.
In the Season 9 Elections, the Garages won the Secret Weapon, Out of Sight, and Hot Sauce Bar blessings. They were subjected to the Fifth Base and Targeted Shame. Out of Sight brought Mike Townsend and Lenny Marijuana to the rotation, replacing Ortiz Morse and Lori Boston. Out of Sight also brought Sparks Beans onto the lineup, replacing Nolanestophia Patterson. Secret Weapon targeted Shadows pitcher Goodwin Morin. Hot Sauce Bar targeted Theodore Duende.
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For a more in-depth look at the team, see Seattle Garages/History.
The Garages play their home games at Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility, also known as the Big Garage, which is located inside an aircraft hangar, a garage for planes.
The Garages are also a musical supergroup known by several names and composed of members of the best bands in the Seattle blunge scene. The team plays exclusively against teams that happen to be in the same city as their Eternal Tour, which lines up perfectly with their League-mandated schedule.
They are also an anarcho-syndicalist collective.
The Seattle Garages have no coach and instead communally coach each other.
Main Page: United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers.
Garages management initially pitched Jerry the Car as a mascot for the team. However, following massive fan outcry, Seattle Garages management tasked its active player roster with the creation of a new mascot. Unable to agree on one of fourteen pitches from every member of the team, it was agreed to let all players have their own mascot as a short-term solution. Following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, mascots, players and teams agreed on a formal process of representation on a permanent basis, honoring Jaylen's mascot Connie the Cone, and allowing new player Derrick Kruger to add his own mascot, Casey Cat Tree.
Garages live commentary is provided by Mama Duende, who also provides orange slices and juice boxes for the team at the end of each game. Despite her name, Mama Duende bears no relation to Theodore Duende. She is very nice.
For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Seattle Garages/Fan Culture.
The Garages have a die-hard fan base known as "the Band". Many fans are known to camp out in the stands for weeks or even months on end, enjoying games and concerts 24/7.
- "PARK IT!"
- "PLUG THE BANDS!" (followed by everyone shouting out names of local independent bands)
- "TOWNSEND!" (exasperatedly, for pitcher Mike Townsend)
- "NAIL BAT" (a commonly used chant for batter Allison Abbott)
See Generalized Seattle Garages fan art here. See player specific fan art on their individual wiki.
|Players||Batters||Oliver Notarobot · Quack Enjoyable · Greer Gwiffin · Malik Destiny · Summers Pony · Oliver Mueller · Theodore Duende · Paula Turnip · Sparks Beans|
|Pitchers||Betsy Trombone · Tot Clark · Arturo Huerta · Durham Spaceman · Goodwin Morin · Lenny Marijuana · Pitching Machine|
|Shadows||Terrell Bradley · Nolanestophia Patterson · Mcdowell Karim · Ortiz Morse · Lori Boston · Mike Townsend|
|Former||Jaylen Hotdogfingers (🎤) · Henry Marshallow (🎤) · Ron Monstera (🔥) · Farrell Seagull (🎤) · Paula Mason (🎤) · Full List|
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4|
|Staff||United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers · Seattle Garages Stadium and Training Volunteers|
|Places||Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility · Dark Seattle|
|History||Seattle Garages's History · Jamazon · Dark Seattle Corporates · Operation DEBT Collection|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Art 🎨 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|Smells like Team Spirit.|