Cedric Spliff

From Blaseball Wiki

Cedric Spliff is a player in the Shadows for the Canada Moist Talkers, and has been with the team since Season 8, Day 42. Spliff has previously played for the Seattle Garages.

Official League Records

Spliff joined the league on Season 3, Day 74 after the incineration of Shaquille Torres. On Season 3, Day 95 Spliff hit a grand slam and an RBI triple in a 10-9 extra innings loss to the Houston Spies.

On Season 8, Day 42, Spliff was exchanged to the Canada Moist Talkers due to Feedback. Spliff was replaced by Quack Enjoyable.

Spliff's defense stats were maxed out thanks to the Moist Talkers winning the Fishing Net during the Season 9 elections.

During the Coffee Cup, Spliff played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

During the Season 18 elections, Spliff gained the Slow Build modification as a result of the Slow Build blessing.

In the Season 19 election, Spliff gained the Subtractor modification as a result of the Ohio Worms winning the Subtractor blessing.

During the Season 20 elections, Spliff's Subtractor modification was changed into the Flinch modification by the Moist Talkers' Reform will.

On Season 22, Day 15, Spliff retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for London Simmons at Gleek Arena via the Ratified Voicemail.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Cedric "Lone-Star" Spliff is also an ex-con, recovering scam artist, team weed dealer, and podcaster. Originally hailing from Texas, Spliff hitched a ride to Seattle with Greer Gwiffin to "escape his Rodeo Crimes." He is a co-host of the podcast Steely Dads! alongside Greer Gwiffin. Despite the name of the podcast, the subject matter is not fatherhood. Instead, the podcast is instead focused on exploring conspiracy theories regarding The Grand Unslam that took place Season 3, Day 73 in the game between the Shoe Thieves and the Tacos. Spliff is an absolute wiz at trivia, knowing a multitude of random facts that don't usually come up. In contrast, his knowledge of normal things is... limited. He may or may not know when his birthday is.

Spliff has claimed to possess a unique "Blaseball sense" which tingles when a ball is pitched in his direction. This may explain why he bats like a man being swarmed by ants. Spliff has revealed a "healthy respect" for a pitched ball that may or may not contribute to this batting style.

He has a past as a known con artist, his crimes committed include:

  • Selling oregano instead of weed
  • Selling weed instead of oregano
  • Selling one star weed at two star prices
  • Cable theft
  • Stealing copper wire from construction sites
  • Selling teens fake underage IDs
  • Stealing mannequin parts from thrift stores to sell to other thrift stores
  • Donating jigsaw puzzles to thrift stores but holding one piece back "as leverage"
  • Miscellaneous violations of the Huffman Code
  • A scam Spliff titled "Cryptid Currency". Cryptid Currency is the act of convincing cryptozoologists to create a betting pool on which cryptid would be discovered first, only to run off with the money
  • Posing as PolkaDot Patterson's agent and arranging a trade to the fanleagues:Grand Forks Splorks
  • Posing as a professional Blaseball player
  • Rodeo crimes

A team zine titled Spliff's Grifts! was created to document these crimes for entertainment purposes.

Joining the Moist Talkers

After joining the Moist Talkers in Season 8 Spliff was quoted as saying “I like the vibe here. The Talkers are a nice bunch, if pretty damp”. Deciding that Sunken Halifax might be a great place to make a fresh start Spliff has for the most part stuck to focusing on Blaseball in lieu of other pursuits. Despite this Spliff has on occasion been seen selling his teammates items from his new curio shop “Spliff’s Gifts” that are suspiciously relevant to his teammates' desires. These items include:

  • A “Fitness Boulder” Sold to Fish Summer (reports indicate it is simply a painted boulder)
  • A “Hawaii Shell” Sold to York Silk (reports indicate it is a seashell with a birthday card speaker inside of it that plays ocean sounds)
  • A “SpliffGame Console” Sold to Commissioner Vapor (Reports indicate it is a repainted Clommodre 65 with a single BurgerTime game cartridge glued into the slot)

In later interviews the Moist Talkers sold these curios responded positively to questions regarding their authenticity.

Spliff quickly acclimated to the Moist Talkers team dynamic having bonded with Jesús Koch over their similar experiences with anxiety and not really feeling like they fit perfectly into the social picture. Koch has been quoted saying “I love hanging with York and CV but once in a while it’s nice to chat with someone a little more grounded. Spliff is also great at Trivial Pursuit which I can’t play with the guys since the ‘Mountain Dew Incident’ ". Additionally, in his off time, Spliff often has been seen spending time with Alston Cerveza, sharing tales of their past cons and escapes from the law.

Spliff is currently occupying the former Gleek Arena dormitory room of Richmond Harrison which he has filled with trinkets and craft supplies from his many hobbies. In regards to his new living situation Spliff stated “I love the little notes the big guy left behind. Very positive and self affirming, if a little illegible.”

Trivia

  • Spliff's bandana is worn primarily to feel cool, and also to hide his face because there are many people that watch Blaseball games.
  • Spliff's podcast recently "raised the question" that the Houston Spies might be stealing the letters from players' names in Elsewhere.

Fan Works