Chorby Short

From Blaseball Wiki


Chorby Short is a pitcher for the Core Mechanics, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Short has played for the Yellowstone Magic, New York Millennials, Hawai'i Fridays, Boston Flowers, Hades Tigers, Dallas Steaks, and Breckenridge Jazz Hands.

Official League Records

Short joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β8 elections, Short joined the Yellowstone Magic's active roster in exchange for Terrell Bradley as a result of the Lottery Pick blessing. This made Short the first player to exit the Shadows to join the league as an active player.

On Season β10, Day 54, some of Short's hitting ability was siphoned by Charleston Shoe Thieves lineup player Richardson Games to add a Ball to the count in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Coffee Cup, Short played for Cream & Sugar United as a pitcher.

On Season β12, Day 1, during a game against the Canada Moist Talkers with star pitcher PolkaDot Patterson on the mound, Short accrued two Strikes, 112 Foul Balls, and one Ball before striking out looking at their first at-bat in the new era of Blaseball. By the end of the season, Short ended up breaking the record for most foul balls in a season with a total of 2345.[1] During the Season β12 elections, the Yellowstone Magic received the Summoning Circle blessing, which increased Short's batting from to .

During the Season β13 elections, all of Short's abilities increased by except for defense which increased as a result of the Magic's Infuse will.

During the Season β14 elections Election, Short's hitting was boosted to 4.3 as a result of the Precognition blessing. Short also gained the Homebody modification as a result of the Magic's Trust will.

On Season β15, Day 30, York Silk of the Baltimore Crabs hit a ground out to Short, causing Short to be Observed. Later, after play ended on Day 33, Short disappeared from the Magic's lineup, and they were Redacted. During the Season β15 elections, the Yellowstone Magic attempted to Plunder Short, but Short remained Redacted, and gained the Unstable modification as well.

On Season β16, Day 37, Short exited the Secret Base at the Crabitat, losing Redacted and gaining the Attractor modification. Upon being batted in by Mullen Peterson, Short joined the New York Millennials' bench.

During the Season β16 elections, Short joined the New York Millennials' active roster as a result of the Foreshadow will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

During the Season β17 elections, Short's Unstable modification was rerolled to Friend of Crows via the Millennials' Reform will. Short was then immediately traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Castillo Turner via the Millennials' Equivalent Exchange will.

During the Season β20 elections, Short was traded back to the New York Millennials in exchange for Castillo Turner as a result of the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange Will, becoming a lineup player in the process.

During the Season β21 elections, Short was traded back to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Castillo Turner as a result of the Millennials' Equivalent Exchange Will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

During the Season β22 elections, Short retreated to the Flowers' Shadows in exchange for Wade Howe as a result of the Flowers' Swap will. Short was then traded to the Hawai'i Fridays in exchange for Castillo Turner as a result of the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process, before retreating again to the Flowers' Shadows as a result of the Flowers' Move will.

On Season β23, Day 3, Short rejoined the Flowers' pitching rotation in exchange for Dunn Keyes as a result of Boston Garden's Fax Machine. On Day 8, Short traded their Traitor Concrete Socks of Strength for Glabe Moon's The Fifth Base. On Day 9, Short then began super roaming.

After roaming four times, (to Millenials, Tigers, Steaks, and Jazz Hands respectively), the fifth base was stolen from Short by Tigers Pitcher Dunlap Figueroa on Season β23, Day 43, leaving Short playing for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands.

Short ended the Expansion Era with 5.6 in Batting, 5 in Pitching, 6.8 in Baserunning, and 4.5 in Defense. Short had Hard Shoes and the Homebody, Attractor, Friend of Crows, Triple Threat, and Underperforming modifications.

During the November 4, 2022 Fall Ball, Short fell to the Core Mechanics. On Season 1, Day 1 of the Return(s), Short became a pitcher for the Mechanics.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Chorby Short Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-15.317 and start reading...

Chorby Short is a small American kestrel born in Seattle and currently residing within the boundaries of Yellowstone National Park and surrounding woodland area. The American kestrel, also referred to as the sparrowhawk, is the smallest and most common falcon in North America, with Short being a particularly diminutive example.

Career

Once a resident of Discovery Park, Short was recruited by a very confused ILB intern who was looking for famed underleaguer Sparrow Hawk. Said intern was an ornithology major and mistakenly signed Short to the Seattle Garages. Due to Short’s inability to lift a bat or play music, they were placed in the team’s Shadows.

It was widely considered a positive change[by whom?] when Short was traded onto the Yellowstone Magic, one of the few teams prepared to address their unique needs as a player. They were outfitted with all charms and sigils needed to bat, if only as a single-star hitter. Even Terrell Bradley was quoted as saying, “Frankly, I’m more confused than upset. I hope that little bird is okay out there in the middle of nowhere.” Bradley has not been reachable for comment since.

Short’s time on Cream & Sugar United during the inaugural Coffee Cup was not particularly notable aside from the media’s continual fixation on their relationship to Quack Enjoyable. Continual efforts by press to spin their territorial disputes as a heated rivalry proved fruitless, though, once it was explained to Short by translator (and close personal friend of Short’s) Bonk Jokes that Enjoyable “posed little threat.”

Physiology

Chorby Short is, by all available accounts, a normal American kestrel. Optimized more for diving than sustained hovering, Short wears several amulets in order to create enough lift to bat. Critics of Short and the Magic’s playstyle have called into question whether this counts as illegal use of performance-enhancing boons. There has been no response from the ILB on the topic.

Advocacy

Short’s most significant media appearances have been as the face of an effort to conserve kestrel populations in the United States. They were the face of the “What Is Happening? How Did I Get Here?” campaign during the Grand Siesta, named for the first words Short spoke upon arriving in Yellowstone. The campaign was focused on understanding the cause of recent sharp declines in kestrel population over the last 50 years, something Short themself remains confused on. In interviews, Short has stated:

“Huh? What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this a game? No? Okay. Is there a game tomorrow? Oh. I don’t know why there are fewer of us. I guess you could look it up. Oh, okay. Maybe you should find out. Hey, when do games start again?”

Fan Works

Fanfiction

For more fanfiction, see the Chorby Short tag on AO3.

References

  1. Ifh-Biff, the Data Efreet (March 5, 2021). "The Chorby Short Pitch Count Charts of Season 12". Archived.