The Boston Flowers are an Internet League Blaseball team in the Low division of the Wild League. They have been a part of the ILB since Season AA. The Flowers were previously in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League, until in Season 5 the the High Filter decree disbanded the Good and Evil Leagues, replacing them with the Mild and Wild Leagues.
For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Boston Flowers Players.
The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)
|Season||Wins||Record||Division Placement||Season Notes|
The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)
|Season||Wins||Record||Division Placement||Season Notes|
|18||66||67-32||1st||Crowned Wild Low Champions after sweeping the Hades Tigers in the Semifinals, before losing 3 games to 2 in the Internet Championship Series against the Core Mechanics.
Short Circuits (Gamma 1 to Gamma 3)
|Season||Wins||Record||Division Placement||Season Notes|
|Gamma 1 - Season 1||Incomplete||X-X||N/A||
|Gamma 1 - Season 2||Incomplete||X-X||N/A||
|Gamma 2 - Season 1||Incomplete||X-X||N/A||
|Gamma 3 - Season 1||Incomplete||X-X||N/A||
The Discipline Era (Season 1 to Season 11)
|4||98||Flowers batter Morrow Doyle was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire. Doyle was facing Lee Davenport of the Unlimited Tacos, the same pitcher they were facing when they hit the Grand Unslam as a member of the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Doyle was replaced with Inez Owens.|
|4||99||The Flowers faced the Unlimited Tacos in the first game ever to cross the one hour time limit, triggering Spillover. The game ended 65 minutes in, after 22 scoreless innings and tied 1-1 for the last 2 innings.
|6||99||Heading into Day 98, the New York Millennials (51-46) led the Flowers (49-48) by two games for the last playoff spot. After a Flowers win on Day 98 and back-to-back losses on Days 98 and 99 for the Millennials, Boston's fate would be decided by their final game against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands.
|8||61||In a game against the New York Millennials, Mills pitcher Patty Fox pitched a perfect game against the Flowers, preventing any Flowers from reaching base.
The Expansion Era (Season 12 to Season 24)
|14||102||Owen Picklestein, the worst pitcher on the Flowers at the time, was attacked by a Consumer on Day 101. The following day Picklestein held the Tokyo Lift to just 2 Runs until the top of the 8th Inning. The Flowers were eliminated from the Postseason after losing on Day 102, and subsequently Picklestein was sent to the Shadows in the Election.|
|18||83||On Day 83 Chorby Short broke the perfect game strikeout record with a total of 25 strikeouts. At the time Short had the Overperforming Modification twice. The opposing pitcher, Rafael Davids had also thrown a perfect game until the bottom of the 9th inning, and was ultimately shamed in the 10th inning.|
|21||81||During the events of Season 21, Gloria Bugsnax stole the Chorby's Soul II item from Chorby Soul IV. This item was extremely eDense causing the Flowers to plummet to the bottom of the Depth Chart, reaching the lowest point on Day 99 of the Season.|
|23||9||In the Season 22 Election the Boston Flowers won the Traitor Crates Blessing giving several members of the Team items with the Traitor Modification. Baldwin Breadwinner had also roamed to the Flowers in the Election due to the Super Roamin' Fifth Base item. The number of Traitor items on the team caused the Super Roamin' Fifth Base to be traded between teammates 15 times before the end of Season 23 Day 9. Chorby Short drew the short straw, and roamed away from the team along with the Base.|
|24||98||The Flowers scored the final Runs of the Expansion Era against Chet Takahashi of the Houston Spies. The Flowers had scored 10 Runs in Black Hole(Black Hole) Weather putting the scores to 1-0 in favor of the Spies. In the bottom of the Ninth Nic Winkler hit a Single sending Jacob Haynes and Wade Howe home, and shaming the Spies.|
|24||99||At the last possible moment before the League was Nullified by Black Hole(Black Hole) the Flowers entered the Vault and became Forced. They shared this achievement with the Hades Tigers, who entered the Vault at the same time.|
Short Circuits (Gamma 1 to Gamma 3)
|1||2||98||During a game against the Tokyo Lift Flowers Batter Lyra Vitamin hit two Grand Slams in the Bottom of the Third Inning, becoming the first player to hit two Grand Slams in the same Inning. Later that same game, Lyra would hit a third Grand Slam in the Bottom of the Eighth Inning.|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Know more about the Flowers' history? Add it at Boston Flowers/History!
The Boston Flowers hail from Boston, Massachusetts, a shattered city full of dimensional distortion and really weird plants. Until the end of Season 2, the Flowers made their home at Flenway Plark. During the postseason of Season 2, The Flowers relocated to Boston Garden, which had become overgrown with plant life and foliage due to the ice of the Hlockey rink melting. Some locals believe the move was due to the chemicals used to treat the turf at Flenway Plark, but this is largely conjecture. When asked the reasoning for the abrupt relocation, coach/player Beck Whitney was quoted as saying "Flenway wouldn't let us grow the grass tall."
The Flowers have become renowned for their tendency towards long, drawn-out games, with players frequently refusing to budge from their bases. Such moments have been dubbed 'picnics' by the fans, though it is unclear whether the players are actually dining on the blaseball diamond. When asked about the nature of the team's slow play, pitcher Dunn Keyes simply extended an invitation to an off-season picnic out in Boston Garden, an overgrown stadium.
Discipline Era History
Over a five-day stretch in Season 4, from day 54 to day 59, the Flowers were affected by three weather events: two Feedback events and an Incineration. The rapid pace of these tragedies have led some to believe the Flowers have been cursed by the Blaseball Gods. This strained the optimistic attitude of the team. Some insisted it was just a run of bad luck and things would get better; others struggled to see how the team could keep growing after these losses. Captain Beck Whitney threw herself into her work to avoid thinking about the loses, and could only be comforted by her girlfriend Caligula Lotus.
Of note is that the feedback brought both Morrow Doyle, the hitter of The Grand Unslam and Moses Mason, the one at bat when the unslam took effect, to the team. Dunn Keyes has refused to comment on this, despite rumors that they're setting up to cause another Grand Unslam in order to fix Boston's dimensional distortions.
The Curse continued when on day 98 of Season 4 Morrow Doyle was incinerated. The grief and anger of this event is said to be what caused the idea of Season 4/Game 99 to brew. Having lost 4 players in the span of half a season, The Boston Flowers ended the season 14th in the league overall.
Even after the Postseason The Flowers were not safe. A concerted effort was launched throughout the season to not campaign for the blessings Getting in their Heads (Literally) and Questioning their Every Move by both the team and their fanbase. When the results of the election were posted, The Boston Flowers had won Getting in their Heads, dragging the vibes down for everyone else in the Chaotic Good division. Likewise, Alternate Realities and Exploratory Surgeries left the previous ★★★★ pitcher Dunn Keyes a ★ star pitcher.
On Day 31 of Season 6, Caligula Lotus was incinerated and almost completely destroyed. While the Flowers were still mourning what happened to Lotus, Feedback swapped captain Beck Whitney with Hahn Fox during a day 80 game against the Miami Dale. While the Flowers welcomed Fox, the Curse did not stop there, as the Flowers were once again not safe even after the Postseason was over. With just 4% of the votes, the Hellmouth Sunbeams were given the blessing Vulture, swapping Hahn Fox for Alaynabella Hollywood just as Fox was settling in with the Flowers.
This loss of two of their most beloved players, and then the most powerful player in their League, was seen by many as further evidence of the Curse, and caused the Flowers to be dubbed "the unluckiest team in Blaseball".
The Boston Tea Party
On Day 76 of Season 7, the Boston Flowers entered Party Time, faster than any other team in blaseball history. In a tradition dating back into forgotten Boston history, the team celebrated by throwing tea into the harbor. The tea-throwing continued until the end of the season, a full 23 days later, with other teams joining in as they too were eliminated from contention. Over the course of party time, 1087.6 tons of tea were thrown into the harbor, turning it into perfectly portioned tea, and making the players really strong.Boston's plant life quickly adapted to their new teacosystem. Teaweed sprouted, and soon enough the Fenmaids were running a profitable business trading the tea-producing plant for signed blaseballs. The harbor is now constantly full of perfectly flavored tea, providing Bostonians with the refreshing beverage and reminding them of their record-breaking race to the bottom.
At the beginning of Season 8, Caligula Lotus, seeking a way to help her team who had struggled in Season 7, began growing a special flower in the Garden: the Blood Alstroemeria, a rare and magical flower containing the power of growth. However, the Houston Spies eavesdropped on the Flowers discussing their plans for the Alstromeria and launched a covert operation to steal it from the Garden. To foil the Spies' efforts, Lotus and the Groundskeeper had to match their cunning. This season-long struggle for control of the Alstroemeria, known as the Turf War, developed into a friendly rivalry between the Flowers and Spies, and it's said that any Spies infiltrators who were discovered would simply be offered tea and snacks.
The Blood Alstroemeria finally bloomed at the end of Season 8, revealing a large lily whose glossy black petals were marked with silver-green spots in the shape of blood drops. To gain the power offered by the flower, the team drank tea made from its petals. As they enjoyed a quiet tea party celebrating their hard work that season, they started to feel a new sense of connection to one another and to Lotus. Their blood turned green as grass and they developed new plant-related mutations, manifestations of the new power of growth running through their veins.
Main article: Boston Garden
The Flowers pride themselves on being friends with every other team in Blaseball. While there are some teams that consider themselves the Flowers' rival, the Flowers do not have any hard feelings towards them. The Flowers are often the last to know about any rivalry or conspiracy, and are always surprised when they do find out about them. In addition to general good feeling and the Memorial Bat Garden, the Flowers have a few ongoing collaborations with other teams.
After games at The Garden, the San Francisco Lovers would stick around to help out with the gardening. As a thank you for their efforts, the Flowers began putting together bouquets. As their relationship grew, the bouquets grew ever more elaborate, and now the Lovers and Flowers often spend the time after their games together putting together complex and beautiful personalized bouquets for the Lovers and their loved ones.
Hellmouth Beautification Project
When a band of wandering gardeners went too far into one of Boston's many dimensional distortions, they found themselves in Hellmouth, Utah. By pure happenstance, a cactus swap was happening at that exact moment and the Bostonians quickly found themselves engaged in a lively discussion with Eugenia Bickle of the Hellmouth Sunbeams about the proper way to care for a succulent. Enraptured by the hostile environment and the potential extremophile plants that could be grown there, they quickly formed plans for a shared gardening experiment. They would set up a greenhouse in the distortion between Boston and Hellmouth where they would work together to custom-make beautiful plants that could survive in Hellmouth's extreme environment. Sure enough, The Hellmouth Beautification Society was born.
When team captain and fan-favorite Beck Whitney was swapped by Feedback to the Miami Dale in exchange for Hahn Fox, it was a tragedy for the team. Coming off the planting of Caligula Lotus, Whitney leaving Boston meant she was leaving her girlfriend behind, and Fox was leaving her wife in Miami. Neither of the players or teams was happy about this trade, and decided to work together to ensure their captains could see their loved ones again.
Through Boston's unique dimensional distortions, a portal was found that connected the city to Miami via the harbor. Cali exerted her pull over the city itself, and with the help of Jasmine Washington they firmed up the portal, making the two cities merely a boat ride away from each other. Now with a much easier commute, Whitney and Fox were able to visit their respective homes as often as they wanted.
Know more about the Flowers' fan culture? Add it at Boston Flowers/Fan Culture!
Unlike most Boston fanbases, The Flowers fandom collectively decided to not uphold the tradition of being awful to their rivals, instead opting to thank them for "watering the garden" and allowing The Flowers to grow from the experience. The fandom is collectively known as "The Garden," and fans refer to each other as "bud."
Chants and Cheers
- LET'S GROW!
- FLOWER (POWER)! FLOWER (POWER)! - Call and response from one side of the stands to the other.
- AW, WEEDS - When things go wrong, as usual.
- IT COULD BE WORSE - A chant for when things aren't going The Flowers' way. Often it is said after laughably unlucky occurrences as a wry and desperate attempt at humor.
- We're The Flowers - Another wry chant, this is used when things really seem to be in the pits, which is often enough for the Flowers that it is said quite regularly.
For Individual Players
- CAS TI YOOO - Castillo Turner
- LIGHT IT UP! - Matheo Carpenter
- BECK BECK GIVE 'EM HECK! - Beck Whitney
- LOCK EM OUT KEYES or PARTY TIME RUNS ON DUNN KEYES - Dunn Keyes
- LEAD OUR PEOPLE HOME - Moses Mason
- WEATHER IS HAPPENING - King Weatherman
- CHOMP - Gloria Bugsnax
- CLAP FOR ZEB - Zeboriah Wilson
- JUST A GUY - Jacob Haynes
- BUZZ BUZZ or WE BEE-LIEVE - Inez Owens
- NIC?? - Nic Winkler
- NAVA IN DOUBT - Margarito Nava
- M🌘🌗🌖🌕🌔🌓🌒N - Glabe Moon
- zestyChamp! - Zesty Yaboi
- SCORE!!! - Scores Baserunner
- Beck Whitney (Player-Manager)
- Orchid Fen (Assistant Manager)
- Nepenthe Saracen (Pitching Coach)
- (Bullpen Catcher)
- Leucosia Smith (Bullpen coach) - notable for her bewitching voice, was hired after being fired at her previous job as a lighthouse keeper; from her position in the bullpen, she calls to fly balls to lure them into becoming home runs
- Roland (First Base) - a giant lobster who mainly can be heard muttering, "I don't think that's a very good idea, Jacob."
- Businessmun Ferret (Third Base) - The team's lawyer and third base coach, promises he can get the team off any charges for stealing bases.
- Sprout (Batboy)
- Dr. Helio Fisic (Team Doctor)
- Farmer Saunders (Head Trainer)
- Moss Woman (Equipment Manager)
- The Groundskeeper (Groundskeeper)
- Jumping Jacks Edwards (Announcer)
- The CITGLO sign (General Manager)
- Zaza Meltdown (Organist) - Chambers Simmons's adopted child
Have more fan art? Add it here or at Boston Flowers/Fan Art!
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4· 5· 6· 7· 8· 9· 10· 11· 12· 13· 14· 15· 16· 17· 18· 19· 20· 21· 22· 23· 24|
|Staff||The Groundskeeper · Nepenthe Saracen · Businessmun Ferret|
|Places||Boston · Flenway Plark ·Memorial Bat Forest|
|History||Boston Flowers' History|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|