Dunn Keyes

From Blaseball Wiki

Dunn Keyes is a pitcher for the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Keyes has previously played for the Boston Flowers.

Official League Records

Keyes joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Boston Flowers with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season β3, Day 81, Keyes swallowed a peanut and had a yummy reaction, resulting in a combined 8.9 14.1 stat increase.

During the Season β4 elections, Keyes was affected by the Alternate Reality decree and replaced by an Alternate. This involved Keyes's stats being randomized, resulting in a combined 14.1 9.1 stat decrease. Then, Keyes's pitching was randomized and decreased from 1.5 1.1 as a result of the Flowers' Exploratory Surgeries blessing.

On Season β7, Day 30, Keyes's hitting ability was siphoned by New York Millennials lineup player Dominic Marijuana in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it from 2.0 1.5 .

During the Season β10 elections, Keyes received a decrease in pitching from 3.0 2.7 as a result of the Unlimited Tacos winning the Sharing Signs blessing.

On Season β17, Day 25, Keyes became a lineup player due to Reverb.

On Season β22, Day 17, Keyes retreated to the Flowers' Shadows in exchange for Zeboriah Whiskey at Boston Garden via the Ratified Voicemail.

On Season β22, Day 88, Keyes joined the Flowers' rotation in exchange for Backpatch Rolsenthal via the Boston Garden's Fax Machine.

Over the course of Season β23, Keyes entered and exited the Flowers' Shadows six times as a result of Boston Garden Fax Machine events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

During the November 18, 2022 Fall Ball, Keyes fell to the Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Dunn Keyes Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-36.688 and start reading...

Before Blaseball

Dulcinea Alondra Maria Quiñones was born and raised in Boston. From a young age, Quiñones expressed an interest in singing and music. They began performing in local talent shows, and eventually enrolled in a performing arts school, where she honed her musical craft.

As a teenager, Quiñones was approached by a talent scout representing an unnamed company. The scout informed her that their company was seeking a spokesperson for their product and invited her to audition. Quiñones later learned that the client was Dunkies, a global supercorporation and coffee company. Dunkies offered Quiñones the spokesperson position alongside a recording contract, and she accepted.

Quiñones changed her legal name to Dunn Keyes to fulfill her contract. As the spokesperson for Dunkies, Keyes appeared in commercials, made public appearances, and recorded music exclusively about Dunkies products. Dunkies forced them to move to Los Angeles, isolating them from their family. Keyes struggled with her newfound fame and loss of personal control. After several years working for Dunkies, Keyes tried and failed to void their contract.

Alternate Reality

One morning, Keyes woke up and found that she was back in Boston, but a slightly different version of Boston where Dunkies was no longer in charge. They learned that they had been brought to the immaterial plane as part of the Alternate Reality decree, replacing an alternate version of themself, and that they were now a blaseball pitcher. Despite not being a successful pitcher, Keyes was mostly relieved to be in a dimension without Dunkies.

While Keyes never quite managed to be a good pitcher, she flourished on her new team. They connected quickly with Moses Mason, a fellow child star with some interdimensional experience from Los Angeli. Mason was essential in helping Keyes adjust to her new home.

Following the Flowers’ grass blood transformation, Keyes started finding flowers, grass, and the occasional tree branch in her hair. She uses these to help decorate the team locker room, and frequently leaves flowers in the Memorial Bat Forest for her fallen teammates. After Moses Mason’s incineration in the Expansion Era, Keyes could frequently be seen growing roses in memory of their friend.

In season 17, the Flowers experienced a reverb shuffle that left Keyes as a batter. They began befriending the batters on other teams, frequently offering them flowers. As more and more players were replaced with alternates, Keyes made a point of reaching out to help the alternates settle in in their new dimension, and ensuring that they had at least one friend in her.

Throughout the Expansion Era, Keyes developed a debilitating fear of Consumers. This fear culminated on Season 20, Day 87, when they were attacked by Consumers. Having lived through their worst nightmare, Keyes was slightly heartened to realize they were in fact still alive. They also found emotional support from teammates Brock Forbes and Adalberto Tosser, who had survived Consumer attacks on the Baltimore Crabs and could help soothe them.

Keyes can often be found in Boston, exploring the various interdimensional nooks and crannies accompanied by Cory Twelve; in Los Angeli, doing the same with Basilio Mason; or helping a new alternate player look for an apartment and find the best takeout restaurants near them.

Relationships

Basilio Mason

One of Keyes’s first friends on another team, Basilio Mason formed a friendship with Keyes over their shared fashion taste. The two spend time together whenever their teams play against one another, people-watching and discussing the newest trends. Mason also encouraged Keyes to begin singing again, and was one of their biggest supporters when they launched a SloundCloud.

Zesty Yaboi

In both of their times going in and out of the Shadows, Keyes managed to strike up a friendship with Zesty Yaboi. They appear infrequently on Yaboi’s streams; whenever they do appear, the chat is spammed with key emojis. The two often spent time with (or inside) Hierophantic Foible, listening to music and playing with Foible’s varying train controls.

Brock Forbes

Following Forbes’s transfer to the team, he and Keyes struck up a friendship. She helped teach him the fundamentals of gardening, and he in turn became the Flowers’ pitching coach. As seen on Keyes’ Ilnstagram, the two frequently went on road trips and beach visits. Keyes, still dedicated to being upbeat around most of her teammates, felt like she could express herself around Forbes and let her guard down.

Keyes also befriended Forbes’s headamates: Rafiq and Keyes have been spotted frequenting one of the city’s many Dlunkin’ Donuts, and Salam has practiced henna on Keyes’s hands, which Keyes proudly showed off in her next game.

Adalberto Tosser

Tosser, who was former teammate and current husband to Forbes, was transferred to the Flowers late in the Expansion Era. Keyes found a similar, comfortable dynamic with xem. After Forbes’s incineration, they grew closer with Tosser, determined to keep xir spirits up. Keyes was heartbroken by Tosser’s eventual incineration, and personally maintains Tosser and Forbes’s plots in the Memorial Bat Forest.

Trivia

  • Keyes is bisexual.
  • Keyes is Puerto Rican and fluent in Spanish. When she first joined the Flowers, teammate Margarito Nava helped her connect with the Latine community in Boston.
  • Keyes’s favorite movie is the Hannah Montana movie. Her second favorite movie is anything about a heist.
  • In her original dimension, Keyes had a small succulent garden in their apartment. When they tried to start one in the immaterial plane, the succulents grew big enough that their entire kitchen table is now covered in succulents. Keyes has not made any effort to remove them, instead opting to get a second kitchen table.
  • Keyes is the singer in Schneider Bendie’s punk band The Base Stealerz. She and Bendie get into frequent sing-off battles while performing.
  • Keyes has six pairs of shoes. They’re all pink Converse.


Fan Works