Official League Records
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Backpatch Rolsenthal Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-16.96 and start reading...
Backpatch Darnell Rolsenthal (known as B.D. to vir friends, family, coworkers, and the quilting circle that meets in vir apartment complex’s common area) grew up in Rhode Island. Vi was a very athletic child and became the star of vir local intramural soccer team, the Historic Center of Woonsocket Wolfhounds.
Despite vir early success, and vir continuing soccer career, Rolsenthal’s primary interest was computer science. This interest began in middle school when vi reprogrammed a Tlamogatchi for vir older sister, and immediately became fascinated by the programming. Vi attended the University of Rhode Island on a soccer scholarship, became the president of the Black Students Union, and got vir degree in computer science. Vi worked for several years in the computer science industry. Says Rolsenthal, “I didn’t know a lot of Black guys who became programmers, but I knew I was good enough to do it. And it’s fun. Do you know how cool computers are?”
Reporters have been advised only to ask Rolsenthal about computer programming if they have time to sit down and let vir explain the history of computer operating systems.
On the Flowers
For the week of vir 30th birthday, Rolsenthal went to Boston on vacation. Having never been to the city or to a professional blaseball game before, vi decided to go see the Boston Flowers in one of their games. When asked later, Rolsenthal said, “There was no real reason I decided it had to be today. I was just on a walk, and I noticed some of the flowers on the street, and it almost looked like a trail leading towards something. When I followed the trail, I realized it was heading toward the Garden. I didn’t know that was an omen. I just thought it was a new, weird marketing technique.”
Rolsenthal arrived before the game and had enough time to get concessions and find vir seat. Tragedy struck at the top of the first inning when Flowers pitcher Brock Forbes was incinerated by a rogue umpire. Despite never having attended a blaseball game, or even having played blaseball in vir childhood athletic career, Rolsenthal innately understood that vi was meant to be on the team. Vi has refused to clarify if vi thinks this innate understanding came from the Garden, vir own desire for change, or something else.
Joining the team was something of an awkward experience for Rolsenthal, who had a hard time leaving Rhode Island, learning to pitch, and adjusting to the team. Vi furthermore had trouble getting used to the outdoorsy nature of the Garden. On this last point, vi got help from teammate Gloria Bugsnax, who was more than happy to help xyr new friend B.D. settle in and learn how things were done around here. The rest of the Flowers are, to this day, trying to undo some of the “rules” that Bugsnax explained.
Assistant duties aside, Bugsnax and Rolsenthal immediately became close, which was noticed by teammates and the media alike. Media speculation has ranged from a secret marriage to queerplatonic partners to a normal pair of roommates. Both have vocally and loudly refused to comment on the nature of their relationship.
Eventually the Garden’s Fax Machine sent Rolsenthal to the shadows, much to vir relief. Now with more free time, Rolsenthal works closely with Cory Twelve, helping develop various computer programs for the robot’s duties as a Seeker and a Weaver. Vi also works as an occasional assistant for team captain Margarito Nava. Rolsenthal is quoted as saying, “I enjoy working with Margo because I never know what xe’s going to ask me to do. Streamlining some of the captainly duties? Literally weeding the garden? Helping run practice, something I am in no way qualified to do? It’s great every time.”
At time of reporting, Rolsenthal works as a part-time software engineer and still visits family in Rhode Island whenever vi can.
- Rolsenthal identifies as a gender. Not agender, but a gender. Which one? That’s none of your business.
- In high school, Rolsenthal worked at a movie theater concessions stand. Now, over a decade later, vi stil requests that nobody in the same room as vir eats popcorn.
- If B.D. Rolsenthal could have any superpower, it would be freezing breath.
- When asked why vi wouldn’t choose the ability to talk to computers, vi laughed and replied, “I can already talk to computers.” Reports are unclear on how literally or supernaturally vi meant this.
- In vir soccer-playing years, Rolsenthal played as a midfielder.
- Rolsenthal injured vir left hand in a sledding accident as a teenager. Vir range of motion in vir left wrist is limited, and vi likes to hide the scars by wearing one fingerless glove. It’s very cool.
|Buried||Atma Willowtree · Baby Doyle · Lucy Tokkan|
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4· 5· 6· 7· 8· 9· 10· 11· 12· 13· 14· 15· 16· 17· 18· 19· 20· 21· 22· 23· 24|
|Circuit||Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4|
|History||Boston Flowers' History|
|Places||Boston · Memorial Bat Forest · Downtown · Fens · Docks|
|Entities||The Garden · The Sleeping God · Demeter|
|Groups||Gardeners · Eyeseekers · Revelers of Spring · Preservers · Weavers|
|Staff||The Groundskeeper · Nepenthe Saracen · Businessmun Ferret · Moss Woman|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|