Randy Dennis

From Blaseball Wiki

Randy Dennis is a player for the Boston Flowers, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Dennis has played for the Miami Dale, the Canada Moist Talkers, and the Atlantis Georgias.

Official League Records

Dennis joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Miami Dale on Season β2, Day 22 due to the incineration of Jenna Maldonado.

Dennis was known as a reliable hitter for the team until an allergic reaction to peanuts on Season β3, Day 36 caused a significant reduction in their rating.

Dennis partied on Season 7, Day 95 and gained a half star in each stat.

During the Season β9 elections, Dennis received the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree.

During the Season β12 elections, Dennis received the Flippers modification due to the Dale's Trust will.

Dennis was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for Richmond Harrison during the Season β18 elections via the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will. Dennis then gained the Slow Build modification as a result of the Slow Build blessing.

Dennis was traded to the Atlantis Georgias in exchange for Slosh Truk during the Season β22 elections via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will.

On Season β24, Day 18, Dennis was attacked by Consumers, resulting in a 16 13.4 stat decrease.

During the October 28, 2022 Fall Ball, Dennis fell to the Boston Flowers.

Dennis gained 1/2 a star overall in the Season 1 elections as a result of the Flowers' NEW Team Boost blessing.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Randy Dennis Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-85.516 and start reading...

Early Life and Career in Miami

Dennis is a Florida manatee (Trichechus manatus latirostris) who loved blaseball from a young age, playing third base at the statewide competitive level throughout middle and high school.

During a Miami Dale post-game beach party, Caleb Novak was thrown from their airboat during a race with Raúl Leal and was briefly knocked unconscious (Novak later described the experience as "mad dope"). Dennis, who had been grazing in Biscayne Bay, saw the accident happen and helped Novak to the surface, saving his life. Dennis was immediately inducted into the team via the customary underwater keg stand. Given their blaseball background, Dennis is actually a completely satisfactory addition to the team despite their unorthodox recruitment.

Career through the Present

As of the Season β22 Elections, Dennis has played for three of the ILB's four wet teams: the Miami Dale, the Canada Moist Talkers, and the Atlantis Georgias. Also notable is that Dennis's trades to Canada and Atlantis could be considered wimdies, with 6% and 1% of the vote, respectively.

Their fans like to yell "Flippers up!" and raise their forelimbs in support or celebration of Dennis.

Personal Life

Dennis is a vegan and a Christian, and was formerly a member of the First Underwater Methodist Church of Miami. They previously served as the Dale's Designated Boater.

Dennis's father is famous professional ploker player Randall Dennis.

Charity Works

Dennis is very active in the local community, organizing philanthropic activities for the team as well as mentoring youth in both splorts and community theater. They sponsor the annual Tees for Tots event, which brings together the manatee community to fund a no-cost tee-blall league for marginalized children. In past years they have not made commemorative shirts for the event. "I don't want people to get confused about what we're here to do," Dennis said in response to the suggestion.


Dennis is also an avid sneakerhead and possesses a collection spanning over 70 pairs. However, not only does Dennis not wear sneakers (as they are physically incapable of doing so), but they are also entirely oblivious to how sneakers are supposed to be used. They have tried to use sneakers as beach balls, pillows, and other uses, with little to no success. Whenever someone explains to Dennis that sneakers are intended to be used as footwear, their common response is "I’ve heard the rumors myself, but I'm not going to jump the gun until I get the facts." Although many assume that this would leave Dennis as a valuable target for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Dennis instead allows the Thieves to "borrow" the sneakers for an indefinite amount of time. They simply assume that the sneakers are either being enjoyed by fellow sneakerheads, or used for "research purposes" to determine their intended purpose.

Fan Works