Broken Ridge Jazz Hands

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This page is undergoing constant changes due to the full release of Blaseball. Information on it might be out of date, or reference old and/or removed content.

This page is about the Jazz Hands as they exist in the current version of Blaseball. For the Jazz Hands as they existed in Beta, see Broken Ridge Jazz Hands/Beta.

The Broken Ridge Jazz Hands (formerly the Breckenridge Jazz Hands) are a Blaseball team in the Awful Evil division of the Evil Conference.

During the Discipline Era, the Jazz Hands originally competed in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the passing of the High Filter decree during the Season β5 Elections, the Jazz Hands were placed into the Wild High division of the Wild League, where they played for the remainder of the Discipline Era and entirety of the Expansion Era. They have been part of Internet League Blaseball since Season AA, having previously competed in Ultra League Blaseball.

Following Fall Ball, the Jazz Hands were placed into the Awful Evil division of the Evil Conference.

Roster

For the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' roster as of Season β24, see the Beta Jazz Hands

Lineup Rotation
Shadows
  • None


Player History

For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Breckenridge Jazz Hands Players.

Current Player History (Seasons 1-Present)

Date Removed Added Cause
Toggle Intrateam Moves (Fax, Voicemail, etc.)
FB 01 00 - Qais Dogwalker 🚤 Fall Ball
FB 01 01 Edric Tosser Fell to 🚤 Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 02 00 Russo Slugger Fell to 🗣️, 🗣️ Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 02 01 Donia Dollie Fell to 💋 Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 02 02 - Erickson Sato 🍗 Fall Ball
FB 03 - Albert Stink 📱 Fall Ball
FB 04 - Sigmund Castillo 🌞 Fall Ball
FB 05 00 Hernando Winter Fell to 📱 Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 05 01 - Tyreek Cain 🔥 Fall Ball
FB 06 00 Dervin Gorczyca Fell to 🌹 Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 06 01 Elijah Valenzuela Fell to 🏝️ Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 06 02 - Bonk Jokes Fall Ball
FB 07 - Jesús Koch Fall Ball
FB 08 00 Cote Rodgers Fell to 🍬 Fall Ball Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
FB 08 01 - Jordan Hildebert 👟 Fall Ball
FB 09 - Evelton McBlase II 📱 Fall Ball
FB 10 - Stephanie Donaldson 🏝️ Fall Ball
01 01 00 - Bud Dragovic 👐 Newly hatched Generated at start of season to fill active roster
01 01 01 - Rusty Chavez 👐 Newly hatched Generated at start of season to fill active roster
01 01 02 - Waldo Sudchai 👐 Newly hatched Generated at start of season to fill active roster
01 01 03 - Kitfo Goodwyn 👐 Newly hatched Generated at start of season to fill active roster
01 18 Baby Doyle Fell to 🌹 Horizon Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
01 24 Spears Rogers Fell to 📱 Horizon Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
01 28 - Spears Nolan 🗣️, 🗣️ Horizon
01 29 00 August Sky Fell to 🍬 Horizon Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
01 29 01 - William Boone 👟 Horizon
01 45 Siobhan Chark Fell to 🥧 Horizon Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era. Knocked Chet Takahashi into the Pies' Shadows.
01 73 - Tyler Leatherman 🔥 Horizon
01 81 Wyatt Pothos Fell to 🌮 Horizon Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
01 82 - Daniel Benedicte 🎸 Horizon
02 09 Yams Sokol Fell to 🥩 Horizon Was on the Jazz Hands' roster at the end of the Expansion Era
02 83 Sigmund Castillo Joined 🕵️ Can't Lose
02 84 - Sigmund Castillo 🕵️ Can't Lose
02 88 Sigmund Castillo Joined 🥩 Can't Lose

Season Results

For more detailed Season Results, check out the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Season Results Hub.

The Coronation Era (Seasons 1 to Present)

Coronation Era
Season Wins Record Postseason Season Summary
1 - The Return(s) 42 42-48 Entered Party Time after Game ?? The Jazz Hands were affected by the NEW Open the Forbidden Book Decree and received a blessing.
2 - Official Review 49 49-41 Entered Party Time after Game 88 Received no blessings.


Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Know more about the Jazz Hands' history? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/History!

Stadium

The Jazz Hands home games are played in a stadium known as The Pocket. Regardless of the weather outside the stadium, inside of The Pocket it is always snowing. The Pocket has many facilities, including a Smithy, a coffee shop and bar named both The Drip and The Curtain Call, and a radio station named The Pocket Radio.

Instrumental Skills

Many of the Jazz Hands play at least one musical instrument. Instruments were originally chosen through a mysterious process referred to by such names as "The Instrument Selection Ceremony," "The Choosing," or "That One Thing with the Bolter, You Know, that Thing a Lot of Us Did when We Joined." Though the process itself was no secret, the fact it was facilitated by Agan Harrison meant that few remembered any details. Recordings of Harrison explaining the process turn to static, further obscuring the procedure despite vague memories of ███ willingness to explain. What was known is that players joined Harrison at Bolter's instrument collection outside of town, which contains a version of every known instrument, and more than a few unknown instruments. When they returned to Breckenridge, they had an instrument and were capable of playing at least the fundamentals.

During the time of the original instrument selection process, players and fans who wished to improve their musical ability in a formal setting were able to attend a local music school with no name. Few report any memories of their time in class, but all who attended noticeably improved their playing as a result.

After the departure of Agan Harrison to the Chicago Firefighters, the original selection process was replaced by a process in which new players jam with their new teammates at the Bolter's instrument collection until they find an instrument that suits them. With this new process also came the tradition of fleecing new players for a non-existent instrument fee, though not all Jazz Hands players support this tradition.

Moist Talkers Rivalry

The team is in an official rivalry with the Canada Moist Talkers ever since Season β2, when the Jazz Hands and Moist Talkers ended the season with a tied win-loss ratio. The contract to make the rivalry official was signed by █████ representing Breckenridge and ████████ representing Canada. Neither has been seen since.

In their rivalry, the Jazz Hands invoked a curse upon the Moist Talkers, declaring that they shall suffer "The Dry Silence." What exactly the Dry Silence is, how it would affect the Moist Talkers, or if it has already taken place, is unclear.

In a series of threads after the Season β5 Elections, the Moist Talkers and the Jazz Hands negotiated, instated, and announced a new contract of rivalry. While the previous terms demanded vitriol between the teams, the current contract only demands vitriol during direct match-ups. The rest of the time, the teams are obligated to interact as friendly rivals, and players are permitted to be friends.

Open Mic Night

From the Season β5 Elections through the Season β6 Elections, the Jazz Hands opened its roster in an effort to change up the team's sound, an event now known as the Open Mic Night. The process began with the trade of August Sky for Combs Estes, included 3 Feedback events, and ended with the return of Holden Stanton in exchange for Nagomi Mcdaniel. Fans continue to debate whether the incineration of Randall Marijuana and subsequent rise of Steph Weeks should be considered part of Open Mic Night, or a tragedy that just happened to occur during Open Mic Night. Reviews of the Open Mic Night are mixed; some point to the team's Season β6 playoffs games as evidence that it was, if not beneficial, then at least not as harmful as some suggest, while others cite the team's under-performance in the Season β7 playoffs as proof that it irrevocably harmed the team's chances of success.

The Pit

See the main article on this topic: Pit

An unknown number of players are in the Shadowy depths of the former orchestra pit, awaiting the call to join the ILB. These players are the source of the instrumental beats that highlight home runs, the Seventh Inning Solo, and the musical accompaniment that plays throughout a Blaseball game. A number of stadium facilities exist within the Pit, far more than should logically be able to fit within the space beneath a stadium. Formerly active shadows work within these facilities as stadium staff known as Stagehands.

The Tower

After the Jazz Hands were assigned the Arcana XVI The Tower in the Season β11 election, residents of Breckenridge noticed that there was now a tall structure in the town. Known as The Tower, this structure is visible from anywhere in the local area, regardless of viewing direction. Players on the Jazz Hands roster find themselves more aware of The Tower than normal residents do.

The Thursday Blues

During Season 13, the Jazz Hands suffered a dreadful series of mishaps their fans have come to refer to as the Thursday Blues.

Casting Call

During Season 18, the Jazz Hands experienced several losses, causing new talent to be brought in to round out the cast. The new cast had big shoes to fill, but ultimately became beloved by fans.

Curtain Call

From Season β22 to the end of Season β23, the Jazz Hands saw the departure of several original players from the roster, and sent them on their way to new ventures and opportunities after many seasons in Breckenridge. Departures began in Season 22, when Kathy Mathews picked up The Fifth Base, and ultimately ended up with the Seattle Garages. Over the course of Season 23, several players departed via the Phantom Thieves Guild. Campos Arias and Lowe Forbes would ultimately pitch for the Boston Flowers and Stephens Lightner would enter the Shadows of the Hades Tigers. Season 23 was rounded out with the swap of Walton Sports with Hades Tigers player Siobhan Chark due to Feedback. This mass departure of beloved original players became known by fans as the Curtain Call, a final bow before the involved players moved on to new things and a change in scenery.

Staff

Coaches

The team has no coach as the players believe their best blaseball is played when the team is just jamming and not following a plan. This feeling was summed up by Lowe Forbes, saying "blaseball is all about going out there and listening to each other, not some coach".

Campos Arias echoed this point, saying "It's about the groove of it all. About feeling in sync with your players, and riffing off of each other. You can't focus too much on what's happening on the field, you've got to watch for the plays we're not making to really see what's going on." The team refused to comment further as Campos and Lowe had explained it perfectly.

Despite the lack of coach, the team does have a number of staff who work with the team, such as:

  • Jimmy Forest, Head Chef
  • Oakley Sterling, Groove Evaluator
  • Liberty Picante, Kickline Coordinator
  • Holly Woodwind, Timekeeper
  • Charms, Radio Personality, Recording Studio Manager
  • Zee Greenbeans, Pit Druid
  • The Station Master, Station Master of The PIT Network

Mascot

The mascot of The Breckenridge Jazz Hands as of Season β3 is the Breckenridge Slide-Trombone Bolter.

Fans

Know more about the Jazz Hands' fan culture? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/Fan Culture!

The fans of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands are known as the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band. They are known for performing the unofficial fight song of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band Stand Chant, which often lasts for hours. More than once, the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band have continued the Breckenridge Jazz Hands Band Stand Chant for hours after a game has ended, sometimes continuing the chant until the next game begins, which causes it to begin all over. Fans are also encouraged bring musical instruments to Jazz Hands games, with impromptu music performances often breaking out in the stands.

Fans have also been known to chant "CATCH 👐 THESE 👐 HANDS 👐" and its variant "CAN'T 👐 CATCH 👐 THESE 👐 HANDS 👐" It is currently unknown how fans can vocalize the sound of an emoji. They can also be heard yelling "GET THE JAZZ IN YOUR HANDS" and "GET YOUR HANDS IN THE GAME" as a call and response.

Fans of the Jazz Hands who want to contribute noise but do not play an instrument often wear beaded bracelets or other noisemakers on their wrists so that when they do a jazz-hands motion it creates a loud rattling sound. Onlookers have described the sound as "somewhere between marbles falling down stairs and an army of dancing skeletons."

Fan Works

Have Jazz Hands fan art? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/Fan Art!

Official fight song (by MackToTheFuture):

We are here for the Jazz Hands
They're here for the Jazz Hands Band
We're the team you just can't stop
The Commissioner is doing a great job