Breckenridge Jazz Hands
The Breckenridge Jazz Hands are a Blaseball team in the Wild High division of the Wild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season AA. They formerly played in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League.
- Alexandria Dracaena (Season 2, Day 80; replaced by Hendricks Richardson)
- Ogden Mendoza (Season 3, Day 23; replaced by August Sky)
- Randall Marijuana (Season 6, Day 84; replaced by Steph Weeks)
- Combs Estes (Season 13, Day 98; replaced by Dervin Gorczyca)
- Tamara Crankit (Season 18, Day 3; replaced by Zippy DeShields)
- Bauer Zimmerman (Season 18, Day 54; replaced by Lancelot Kane)
- Tot Fox (Season 4, Day 25; replaced by Valentine Games)
- Valentine Games (Season 6, Day 22; replaced by Conrad Vaughan)
- Comfort Septemberish (Season 6, Day 41; replaced by Collins Melon)
- Hendricks Richardson (Season 6, Day 44; replaced by Randall Marijuana)
- Agan Harrison (Season 12, Day 61; replaced by Edric Tosser)
- Howell Rocha (Season 18, Day 6; replaced by Riley Firewall)
- Walton Sports (Season 23, Day 95; replaced by Siobhan Chark)
Blessings and Trades
- Bevan Underbuck (exchanged for Nagomi Mcdaniel through the Highway Robbery blessing at the end of Season 3)
- August Sky (exchanged for Combs Estes through the The Plan? Hit From The Mound blessing at the end of Season 5)
- Nagomi Mcdaniel (exchanged for Holden Stanton through the Headhunter blessing at the end of Season 6)
- Aldon Cashmoney (exchanged for Elijah Valenzuela through the Popular by Association blessing at the end of Season 7)
- Holden Stanton (exchanged for August Sky through the Jazz Hands' Exchange will at the end of Season 13)
- Conrad Vaughan (exchanged for Mikan Hammer through the New York Millennials' Equivalent Exchange will at the end of Season 16)
- Wyatt Pothos (exchanged for Logan Rodriguez through the Jazz Hands' Equivalent Exchange will at the end of Season 18)
- Logan Rodriguez (exchanged for Wyatt Pothos through the Jazz Hands' Equivalent Exchange will at the end of Season 19)
- Jasper Blather (exchanged for Comfort Septemberish through the Jazz Hands' Equivalent Exchange will at the end of Season 21)
- Comfort Septemberish (exchanged for Quack Enjoyable through the Houston Spies' Equivalent Exchange will at the end of Season 21)
- Yams Rolsenthal (no replacement through the Gachapon blessing at the end of Season 22)
- Brewer Vapor (no replacement through the Gachapon blessing at the end of Season 23)
- Wyatt Mason II (Echoed into Static, Season 14, Day 78)
- Kathy Mathews (Super roamed, Season 22, Day 54)
Faded to Dust
- Pitching Machine II (Season 21 elections)
- Liquid Friend IX (Season 22 elections)
- Uncle Plasma IX (Season 22 elections)
Phantom Thieves' Guild Heists
- Stephens Lightner (stolen by The Ampitheater Thieves' Guild, Season 23, Day 44)
- Campos Arias (stolen by The Garden Thieves' Guild, Season 23, Day 69)
- Lowe Forbes (stolen by The Garden Thieves' Guild, Season 23, Day 83)
- Mags Highlife (stolen by LA Taquería Thieves' Guild, Season 24, Day 35)
For more detailed Season Results, check out the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Season Results Hub.
The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)
|1 - The Return||58||58-41||Quarterfinalists
L 0-3 vs. Philly Pies
|Received no blessings.|
|2 - The Discipline Era||55||55-44||Semifinalists||Received no blessings.|
|3 - Peanut Plague/Uncertainty||50||50-49||Quarterfinalists
L 2-3 vs. Hades Tigers
|4 - Feedback||58||58-41||Semifinalists||Received no blessings.|
|5 - Reverb||58||58-41||ILB Finalists||The Jazz Hands were sorted into Wild High with the passing of the High Filter Decree.|
|6 - Idols||59||59-40||Semifinalists|
|7 - Getting Shelled||55||55-44||Quarterfinalists
L 1-3 vs. San Francisco Lovers
|Received no blessings due to the Bless Off Decree.|
|8 - Rest in Violence||42||42-57||Entered Party Time on Day 89|
|9 - Forecast||46||46-53||Entered Party Time on Day 97||Received no blessings.
|10 - Backdraft||41||41-58||Entered Party Time on Day 90||Received no blessings, but did receive Wyatt Pothos during THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS' fall back to the Immaterial Plane.|
|11 - Peace & Prosperity||46||46-52||Entered Party Time on Day 88||Assigned the Arcana XVI The Tower.|
The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)
|12 - The Expansion Era||57||55-42||Quarterfinalists
L 2-3 vs. Hellmouth Sunbeams
|Received no blessings.|
|13 - Home Free||43||43-56||Entered Party Time on Day 88||Received no blessings.|
|14 - The -ides||43||43-56||Entered Party Time on Day 91||Received no blessings.
|15 - Live Bait||45||46-53||Entered Party Time on Day 91||Received no blessings.|
|16 - Mass Production||40||39-60||Entered Party Time on Day 88||Received no blessings.
|17 - Collections||53||52-47||Entered Party Time on Day 97||Received no blessings.|
|18 - New Editions||35||35-64||Entered Party Time on Day 82||The Jazz Hands benefited from The bottom four finishing Teams in the League will receive an extra Will in that Season's Election..
|19 - Undertow||-55||58-41||Entered Party Time on Day 94||
|20 - Win(Win)||60||57-42||Eliminated by Overbracket Wild Card
L 1-2 vs. Miami Dale
|Liquid Friend pulled from roster with the end of the Investigation.
|21 - Red Herring||67||57-42||Overbracket Quarterfinalist
L 2-3 vs. Hades Tigers
|Received no blessings.
|22 - Overdue||65||58-41||Entered Party Time on Day 92||
|23 - A Set Up||64||54-45||Underbracket Wild Card
Entered Party Time on Day 94
|Received no blessings, but did receive .
|24 - Fire Sale/Save Situation||38||47-51||N/A||
Short Circuits (Gamma)
Short Circuits are tests of experimental features that run for two weeks at a time. Each Circuit takes place in an alternate universe with temporary, newly generated rosters. The Breckenridge Jazz Hands teams that played in the following Short Circuits are different from the one that played in the above eras.
|1||40||40-59||Entered Party Time on Day 87||Received no Distortions.
|2||31||31-68||Entered Party Time on Day 77||
|1||35||35-64||Entered Party Time on Day 166||This season was split over two weeks and had two Elections.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Know more about the Jazz Hands' history? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/History!
The Jazz Hands home games are played in a stadium known as The Pocket. Regardless of the weather outside the stadium, inside of The Pocket it is always snowing. The Pocket has many facilities, including a Smithy, a coffee shop and bar named both The Drip and The Curtain Call, and a radio station named The Pocket Radio.
Many of the Jazz Hands play at least one musical instrument, which they choose through a mysterious process referred to by such names as "The Instrument Selection Ceremony," "The Choosing," or "That One Thing with the Bolter, You Know, that Thing a Lot of Us Did when We Joined." Though there is no secrecy about the process itself, the fact that it is facilitated by Agan Harrison means few remember any details. Recordings of Harrison explaining the process turn to static, further obscuring the procedure despite vague memories of ███ willingness to explain. What is known is that players join Harrison at Bolter's instrument collection outside of town, which contains a version of every known instrument, and more than a few unknown instruments. When they return to Breckenridge, they have an instrument and are capable of playing at least the fundamentals.
Players (and fans) who wish to improve their musical ability in a formal setting are able to attend a local music school with no known name. Few report any memories of their time in class, but all who attend noticeably improve their playing as a result.
Moist Talkers Rivalry
The team is in an official rivalry with the Canada Moist Talkers ever since Season 2, when the Jazz Hands and Moist Talkers ended the season with a tied win-loss ratio. The contract to make the rivalry official was signed by █████ representing Breckenridge and ████████ representing Canada. Neither has been seen since.
In their rivalry, the Jazz Hands invoked a curse upon the Moist Talkers, declaring that they shall suffer "The Dry Silence." What exactly the Dry Silence is, how it would affect the Moist Talkers, or if it has already taken place, is unclear.
In a series of threads after the Season 5 Elections, the Moist Talkers and the Jazz Hands negotiated, instated, and announced a new contract of rivalry. While the previous terms demanded vitriol between the teams, the current contract only demands vitriol during direct match-ups. The rest of the time, the teams are obligated to interact as friendly rivals, and players are permitted to be friends.
Open Mic Night
From the Season 5 Elections through the Season 6 Elections, the Jazz Hands opened its roster in an effort to change up the team's sound, an event now known as the Open Mic Night. The process began with the trade of August Sky for Combs Estes, included 3 Feedback events, and ended with the return of Holden Stanton in exchange for Nagomi Mcdaniel. Fans continue to debate whether the incineration of Randall Marijuana and subsequent rise of Steph Weeks should be considered part of Open Mic Night, or a tragedy that just happened to occur during Open Mic Night. Reviews of the Open Mic Night are mixed; some point to the team's Season 6 playoffs games as evidence that it was, if not beneficial, then at least not as harmful as some suggest, while others cite the team's under-performance in the Season 7 playoffs as proof that it irrevocably harmed the team's chances of success.
See the main article on this topic: Pit
An unknown number of players are in the Shadowy depths of the former orchestra pit, awaiting the call to join the ILB. These players are the source of the instrumental beats that highlight home runs, the Seventh Inning Solo, and the musical accompaniment that plays throughout a Blaseball game. A number of stadium facilities exist within the Pit, far more than should logically be able to fit within the space beneath a stadium. Formerly active shadows work within these facilities as stadium staff known as Stagehands.
After the Jazz Hands were assigned the Arcana XVI The Tower in the Season 11 election, residents of Breckenridge noticed that there was now a tall structure in the town. Known as The Tower, this structure is visible from anywhere in the local area, regardless of viewing direction. Players on the Jazz Hands roster find themselves more aware of The Tower than normal residents do.
The Thursday Blues
During Season 13, the Jazz Hands suffered a dreadful series of mishaps their fans have come to refer to as the Thursday Blues.
- Day 43 - Pitcher Combs Estes had an Allergic Reaction, reducing their combined stars from 9.7 to 5.3
- Day 64 - The Jazz Hands' Lineup and Rotation were shuffled in a devastating Reverb. Pitchers Combs Estes, Lowe Forbes, and Campos Arias were moved to the hitting lineup, and hitters Conrad Vaughan, Kathy Mathews, and Holden Stanton were moved to the pitching rotation. While Conrad Vaughan adapted well to pitching, all other players who switched were substantially worse in their new positions.
- Day 68 - Star pitcher Wyatt Pothos had an Allergic Reaction, reducing her combined stars from 17 to 12.8
- Day 72 - Hitters Elijah Valenzuela and Combs Estes has their blood drained by Knight Triumphant. Elijah's batting stars were reduced from 1.8 to 0.9, and Combs' Baserunning stars were reduced from 1.6 to 0.7
- Day 84 - Hitter Stephens Lightner had an Allergic Reaction, reducing their combined stars from 8.2 to 4.
- Day 98 - a Rogue Umpire incinerated hitter Combs Estes, who was replaced by Dervin Gorczyca.
During Season 18, the Jazz Hands experienced several losses, causing new talent to be brought in to round out the cast. The new cast had big shoes to fill, but ultimately became beloved by fans.
- Day 3 - A Rogue Umpire incinerated hitter Tamara Crankit, who was replaced by Zippy DeShields.
- Day 6 - Jazz Hands pitcher Howell Rocha was swapped for Miami Dale pitcher Riley Firewall due to Feedback.
- Day 54 - A Rogue Umpire incinerated hitter Bauer Zimmerman, who was replaced by Lancelot Kane.
From Season 22 to the end of Season 23, the Jazz Hands saw the departure of several original players from the roster, and sent them on their way to new ventures and opportunities after many seasons in Breckenridge. Departures began in Season 22, when Kathy Mathews picked up The Fifth Base, and ultimately ended up with the Seattle Garages. Over the course of Season 23, several players departed via the Phantom Thieves Guild. Campos Arias and Lowe Forbes would ultimately pitch for the Boston Flowers and Stephens Lightner would enter the Shadows of the Hades Tigers. Season 23 was rounded out with the swap of Walton Sports with Hades Tigers player Siobhan Chark due to Feedback. This mass departure of beloved original players became known by fans as the Curtain Call, a final bow before the involved players moved on to new things and a change in scenery.
The team has no coach as the players believe their best blaseball is played when the team is just jamming and not following a plan. This feeling was summed up by Lowe Forbes, saying "blaseball is all about going out there and listening to each other, not some coach".
Campos Arias echoed this point, saying "It's about the groove of it all. About feeling in sync with your players, and riffing off of each other. You can't focus too much on what's happening on the field, you've got to watch for the plays we're not making to really see what's going on." The team refused to comment further as Campos and Lowe had explained it perfectly.
Despite the lack of coach, the team does have a number of staff who work with the team, such as:
- Jimmy Forest, Head Chef
- Oakley Sterling, Groove Evaluator
- Liberty Picante, Kickline Coordinator
- Holly Woodwind, Timekeeper
- Charms, Radio Personality, Recording Studio Manager
- Zee Greenbeans, Pit Druid
- The Station Master, Station Master of The PIT Network
Know more about the Jazz Hands' fan culture? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/Fan Culture!
The fans of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands are known as the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band. They are known for performing the unofficial fight song of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band Stand Chant, which often lasts for hours. More than once, the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band have continued the Breckenridge Jazz Hands Band Stand Chant for hours after a game has ended, sometimes continuing the chant until the next game begins, which causes it to begin all over. Fans are also encouraged bring musical instruments to Jazz Hands games, with impromptu music performances often breaking out in the stands.
Fans have also been known to chant "CATCH 👐 THESE 👐 HANDS 👐" and its variant "CAN'T 👐 CATCH 👐 THESE 👐 HANDS 👐" It is currently unknown how fans can vocalize the sound of an emoji. They can also be heard yelling "GET THE JAZZ IN YOUR HANDS" and "GET YOUR HANDS IN THE GAME" as a call and response.
Fans of the Jazz Hands who want to contribute noise but do not play an instrument often wear beaded bracelets or other noisemakers on their wrists so that when they do a jazz-hands motion it creates a loud rattling sound. Onlookers have described the sound as "somewhere between marbles falling down stairs and an army of dancing skeletons."
Have Jazz Hands fan art? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/Fan Art!
Logo by Cobaltcakes.
Jazz Hands uniform design by @TedFallenger (NSFW Twitter).
Logo by Rocketknife
Pride-themed version of the logo by Rocketknife
Official fight song (by MackToTheFuture):
We are here for the Jazz Hands
They're here for the Jazz Hands Band
We're the team you just can't stop
The Commissioner is doing a great job
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · Full List|
|Ballpark||Breckenridge Community Field|
|Staff||The Breckenridge Slide-Trombone Bolter|
|Places||Breckenridge · The Pit|
|History||Breckenridge Jazz Hands' History|
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