Breckenridge Jazz Hands

From Blaseball Wiki

The Breckenridge Jazz Hands are a Blaseball team in the Wild High division of the Wild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.

Roster

Lineup Rotation

Bench Bullpen


Former Players

Incinerations

Feedback Swaps

Blessings and Trades

Echoed into Static

Season Results

Season 1: 58-41, entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed from the Evil League. Lost 3-0 to the Philly Pies in the quarterfinals. Received no blessings during the Offseason.

Season 2: 55-44, entered the playoffs as the 4th seed from the Evil League. Defeated the Hades Tigers 3-2 in the quarterfinals. Lost 3-0 to the Philly Pies in the Semifinals. Received no blessings during the Offseason.

Season 3: 50-49, entered the playoffs as the 4th seed from the Evil League. They lost to the Hades Tigers 3-2 in the quarterfinals. Received the Evil Wind Sprints and Highway Robbery blessings during the Offseason. Subjected to the Headhunter and Rigour Mortis blessings.

Season 4: 58-41, entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed from the Evil League. They won against the Philly Pies 3-1 in the quarterfinals, then were swept 3-0 by the Hades Tigers in the semifinals. Received no blessings. Subjected to the Questioning Their Every Decision blessing. In the Season 4 Elections, the Jazz Hands were also hit with Targeted Shame, which states that should the Jazz Hands be shamed, they will start the next run with negative runs equal to their shame.

Season 5: 58-41, entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed from the Evil League. They won against the Hades Tigers 3-0 in the quarterfinals, then won against the Canada Moist Talkers 3-2 in the semifinals. They lost 2-3 against the Chicago Firefighters in the grand championships. Received the Seduction blessing. Subjected to the The Plan? Hit From The Mound blessing.

Season 6: 59-40, entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed from the Wild League. They won against the San Francisco Lovers 3-2 in the quarterfinals, then lost to the Baltimore Crabs 3-0 in the semifinals. Received Single-Season Fourth Strike and Gravity Boots blessings, the latter of which went to Steph Weeks. Subjected to the Headhunter blessing.

Season 7: 55-44, entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed from the Wild League. Lost to the San Francisco Lovers 3-1 in the quarterfinals. Recieved no blessings because of the Bless Off decree. Subjected to the Popular by Association and The Shame Bubble blessings.

Season 8: 42-57, did not make the playoffs for the first time in ILB history. Entered Party Time on Day 89. Received the Precognition blessing.

Season 9: 46-53, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 97. Subjected to Targeted Shame, but protected by the Wild High Fifth Base Bubble.

Season 10: 41-58, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 90. Received no blessings, but did receive Wyatt Pothos during THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS' fall back to the Immaterial Plane.

Season 11: 46-52, did not make playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 88. Were assigned the Arcana XVI The Tower during the elections.

Season 12: 57 wins, 55-42 record, entered the playoffs as the 3rd seed from the Wild League. Lost to the Hellmouth Sunbeams 3-2 in the quarterfinals. Received the Entrust and Infuse Wills to gain Fourth Strike for Season 13 and improve Tamara Crankit, respectively. Received no blessings.

Season 13: 43 wins, 43-56 record, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 88. Recieved Exchange and Enrich wills, swapping Holden Stanton for August Sky, and gaining the Earlbirds modification. Received no blessings.

Season 14: 43 wins, 43-56 record, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 91. Received the Foreshadow and Infuse wills, swapping Stephens Lightner for Bauer Zimmerman, and increasing the stats of Collins Melon. Received no blessings.

Season 15: 45 wins, 46-53 record, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 91. Received the Foreshadow and Move wills, swapping Edric Tosser for Howell Rocha and moving Kathy Mathews to the lineup. Received no blessings.

Season 16: 40 wins, 39-60 record, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 88. Received the Transfuse and Alternate Trust wills, boosting Elijah Valenzuela's batting at the cost of defense before rerolling all of Valenzuela's ratings and granting them the Careful modification. Subjected to the New York Millennials' Equivalent Exchange will, swapping Conrad Vaughan for Mikan Hammer. Received no blessings.

Season 17: 53 wins, 52-47 record, did not make the playoffs. Entered Party Time on Day 97. Received the Foreshadow and Move wills, swapping Elijah Valenzuela for Liquid Friend and moving Mikan Hammer to the Shadows. Received no blessings.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Know more about the Jazz Hands' history? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/History!

Stadium

The Jazz Hands home games are played in a stadium known as The Pocket. Regardless of the weather outside the stadium, inside of The Pocket it is always snowing.

Instrumental Skills

Many of the Jazz Hands play at least one musical instrument, which they choose through a mysterious process referred to by such names as "The Instrument Selection Ceremony," "The Choosing," or "That One Thing with the Bolter, You Know, that Thing a Lot of Us Did when We Joined." Though there is no secrecy about the process itself, the fact that it is facilitated by Agan Harrison means few remember any details. Recordings of Harrison explaining the process turn to static, further obscuring the procedure despite vague memories of ███ willingness to explain. What is known is that players join Harrison at Bolter's instrument collection outside of town, which contains a version of every known instrument, and more than a few unknown instruments. When they return to Breckenridge, they have an instrument and are capable of playing at least the fundamentals.

Players (and fans) who wish to improve their musical ability in a formal setting are able to attend a local music school with no known name. Few report any memories of their time in class, but all who attend noticeably improve their playing as a result.

Moist Talkers Rivalry

The team is in an official rivalry with the Canada Moist Talkers ever since Season 2, when the Jazz Hands and Moist Talkers ended the season with a tied win-loss ratio. The contract to make the rivalry official was signed by █████ representing Breckenridge and ████████ representing Canada. Neither has been seen since.

In their rivalry, the Jazz Hands invoked a curse upon the Moist Talkers, declaring that they shall suffer "The Dry Silence." What exactly the Dry Silence is, how it would affect the Moist Talkers, or if it has already taken place, is unclear.

In a series of threads after the Season 5 Elections, the Moist Talkers and the Jazz Hands negotiated, instated, and announced a new contract of rivalry. While the previous terms demanded vitriol between the teams, the current contract only demands vitriol during direct match-ups. The rest of the time, the teams are obligated to interact as friendly rivals, and players are permitted to be friends.

Open Mic Night

From the Season 5 Elections through the Season 6 Elections, the Jazz Hands opened its roster in an effort to change up the team's sound, an event now known as the Open Mic Night. The process began with the trade of August Sky for Combs Estes, included 3 Feedback events, and ended with the return of Holden Stanton in exchange for Nagomi Mcdaniel. Fans continue to debate whether the incineration of Randall Marijuana and subsequent rise of Steph Weeks should be considered part of Open Mic Night, or a tragedy that just happened to occur during Open Mic Night. Reviews of the Open Mic Night are mixed; some point to the team's Season 6 playoffs games as evidence that it was, if not beneficial, then at least not as harmful as some suggest, while others cite the team's under-performance in the Season 7 playoffs as proof that it irrevocably harmed the team's chances of success.

The Pit

An unknown number of players are in the Shadowy depths of the former orchestra pit, awaiting the call to join the ILB. These players are the source of the instrumental beats that highlight home runs, the Seventh Inning Solo, and the musical accompaniment that plays throughout a Blaseball game.

The Thursday Blues

During Season 13, the Jazz Hands suffered a dreadful series of mishaps their fans have come to refer to as the Thursday Blues.

Staff

Coaches

The team has no coach as the players believe their best blaseball is played when the team is just jamming and not following a plan. This feeling was summed up by Lowe Forbes, saying "blaseball is all about going out there and listening to each other, not some coach".

Campos Arias echoed this point, saying "It's about the groove of it all. About feeling in sync with your players, and riffing off of each other. You can't focus too much on what's happening on the field, you've got to watch for the plays we're not making to really see what's going on." The team refused to comment further as Campos and Lowe had explained it perfectly.

Despite the lack of coach, the team does have a number of staff who work with the team, such as:

  • Jimmy Forest, Head Chef
  • Oakley Sterling, Groove Evaluator
  • Liberty Picante, Kickline Coordinator

Mascot

The mascot of The Breckenridge Jazz Hands as of Season 3 is the Breckenridge Slide-Trombone Bolter.

Fans

Know more about the Jazz Hands' fan culture? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/Fan Culture!

The fans of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands are known as the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band. They are known for performing the unofficial fight song of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band Stand Chant, which often lasts for hours. More than once, the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' Band have continued the Breckenridge Jazz Hands Band Stand Chant for hours after a game has ended, sometimes continuing the chant until the next game begins, which causes it to begin all over. Fans are also encouraged bring musical instruments to Jazz Hands games, with impromptu music performances often breaking out in the stands.

Fans have also been known to chant "CATCH 👐 THESE 👐 HANDS 👐" and its variant "CAN'T 👐 CATCH 👐 THESE 👐 HANDS 👐" It is currently unknown how fans can vocalize the sound of an emoji. They can also be heard yelling "GET THE JAZZ IN YOUR HANDS" and "GET YOUR HANDS IN THE GAME" as a call and response.

Fans of the Jazz Hands who want to contribute noise but do not play an instrument often wear beaded bracelets or other noisemakers on their wrists so that when they do a jazz-hands motion it creates a loud rattling sound. Onlookers have described the sound as "somewhere between marbles falling down stairs and an army of dancing skeletons."

Fan Art

Have Jazz Hands fan art? Add it at Breckenridge Jazz Hands/Fan Art!

Official fight song (by MackToTheFuture):

We are here for the Jazz Hands
They're here for the Jazz Hands Band
We're the team you just can't stop
The Commissioner is doing a great job