Liquid Friend

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They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.

Liquid Friend is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Friend has played for BC Noir, the San Francisco Lovers, and the Breckenridge Jazz Hands.

Official League Records

Friend joined the ILB as a lineup player for BC Noir during the inaugural Coffee Cup.

Friend was traded to the San Francisco Lovers during the Season β12 elections via The Big Sip blessing.

On Season β13, Gods' Day, Friend and Uncle Plasma were hired by The Commissioner to take part in the Investigation into the disappearances of Tad Seeth and Brisket Friendo.

On Season β14, Day 99, Friend was named an MVP and gained the Ego+ modification.

On Season β15, Day 19, York Silk of the Baltimore Crabs hit a flyout to Liquid Friend, causing Friend to gain the Observed modification. On Day 21, Friend disappeared from the Lovers' lineup and their Observed modification was replaced by the Redacted modification.

On Season β16, Day 48, Friend exited the Secret Base at the Bubble, losing Redacted and gaining the Attractor modification. Upon being batted in by Tamara Crankit, Friend joined the Breckenridge Jazz Hands' bench. Friend's Hard Boiled modification also became Scrambled at some point during this time.

During the Season β17 elections, Friend joined the Jazz Hands' active roster in exchange for Elijah Valenzuela via the Jazz Hands' Foreshadow will.

During the Season β20 elections, Friend's Attractor modification was rerolled into the Homebody modification via the Jazz Hands' Reform will. The Boss then announced that Friend and Uncle Plasma's Investigation was completed; Friend gained the Legendary modification, was sent to the Vault, and gained the Yolked modification when they reunited with Plasma.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Friend played for the Vault Legends as a lineup player.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Liquid Friend Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-82.748 and start reading...


Liquid Friend is a genderfluid Muwekma person born and raised on San Francisco Bay. Known for often being grumpy and standoffish, though their strong sense of justice and doing right by others often brings them towards other people anyway. “Liquid Friend” is a professional pseudonym that Friend uses in their work as a private investigator.

Friend has a knack for finding things and started out as a solo private investigator and general finder of things and people. It is through this field that Friend met a fellow investigator, a woman operating under the pseudonym Moxie Julep, whom they would later marry after working together. The two were a team, though Friend poured themself further and further into their work over time, which did not help a growing strain on the relationship. Friend is no longer married and tries not to mention their divorce, though friends and, later on, teammates describe them as having a “divorced vibe”.

The private investigation firm, BC Noir, was founded by Liquid Friend alongside their uncle, Uncle Plasma, not long after Friend returned to being a solo act. BC Noir became known across San Francisco for their ability to find nearly anything or anyone, no case too difficult for the two sleuths. Friend enjoyed working with Plasma and in San Francisco, but found that they ran into their former circles too often for their tastes.

Early Blaseball Career and the Lovers

Having grown up playing on a local Blittle League team, and wanting a short break from San Francisco, it was Friend that suggested entering BC Noir as a team in the seemingly low-stakes Coffee Cup.

When BC Noir was recruited to the main league in the Season β12 elections, Friend was recruited by the San Francisco Lovers, remaining close to home while Uncle Plasma left for the New York Millennials. While disappointed that they would be separated from the other half of their investigative outfit, Friend welcomed the change in routine Blaseball would provide and hoped that it would not interfere with the operations of BC Noir.

Friend was familiar with the Lovers, both through their work and as a local fan living near the Polyhedron, and made an effort to get to know their new teammates. They befriended team captain, Parker Meng, during their time on the team. The two bonded over a shared desire to take a break from San Francisco, however different their reasons may be, and Friend learned a good bit about playing professional Blaseball from Meng.

The Investigation and Redaction

At the start of Season β13, Friend received notification that BC Noir was being contracted for their investigative services and that they, along with Plasma, would be required to investigate the mysterious disappearances of Tad Seeth and Brisket Friendo. Finding things and people was Friend’s specialty, so they were confident they would be able to find Seeth and Friendo. That confidence quickly faltered as leads started falling through, clues became hard to find, and more players began to go missing. A feeling of dread began to cloud Friend’s investigative efforts. This feeling of dread was joined by paranoia about the case after Friend was Observed by York Silk on Season β15, Day 19.

Friend disappeared Season 15, Day 21 after leaving the away dugout in Baltimore. It wouldn’t be until Season 16, Day 48 that Friend would reappear, stumbling out of The Bubble’s Secret Base and into the Breckenridge Jazz HandsShadows after being batted in by Tamara Crankit.

When asked, Friend claims to recall little about where they went and what they experienced and often stares off into the middle distance and grimaces when trying to recall their time away. They describe their new status as Scrambled as a mental block they cannot move, along with difficulty with memory. Friend’s already-greying hair began to go completely white from the roots after emerging from the Secret Base.

Time with the Jazz Hands

Friend spent the rest of Season β16 and all of Season β17 in the Shadows, where they used the time to set up a Breckenridge branch of BC Noir inside The Pocket’s coffee shop and bar known as The Drip and The Curtain Call. From their new BC Noir branch, Friend worked primarily on local cases finding things for their new teammates and members of the Breckenridge community. They would also solve local mysteries, which tended to be caused by Jazz Hands players, primarily Lowe Forbes. Friend found themself unable to consistently contact Uncle Plasma, which proved to be a considerable roadblock in the investigation. On their own, leads dried up and Friend shifted focus to local cases in the meantime.

While running The Pocket’s coffee shop, Friend came into frequent contact with regulars at the counter, Walton Sports, Wyatt Pothos, and Kathy Mathews. Regular customers often talked with Friend or gave them advice, while others sought out their help with their own personal mysteries. Friend was happy to help, though they were never able to solve Mathews’ mathematical mysteries. They recognized teammates Elijah Valenzuela and Baby Doyle as having competed on the Coffee Cup-winning Inter Xpresso and questioned why anyone would give an infant espresso, often while giving said infant espresso. Friend once surprised the Alternate Valenzuela by preparing his coffee order before he had ever spoken to Friend while they were at the counter, with Friend guessing that both versions of Valenzuela had the same preferences. Friend often commiserated about lost love with Steph Weeks and Bauer Zimmerman after work or games.

Friend enjoyed batting once they returned to active play, but found less enjoyment in the perpetual snow and cold of The Pocket. During the offseason, they were part of The Pocket’s stage crew and secretly took great pride and joy in that role. Friend enjoys musical theatre, but would never openly admit it. By the end of Season β20, Friend began to feel at home in Breckenridge.


  • Known for being unable to park. Regularly receives parking tickets and was disappointed to find that Redaction did not erase their outstanding fines.
  • Invented what they call “multi-track parking”, which consists of drifting into two parallel parking spaces.
  • Liquid Friend plays the saxophone.

Fan Works


Liquid Friend is the focus of the following song: