Walton Sports

From Blaseball Wiki

Walton Sports was a pitcher for the Hades Tigers, and was with the team from Season β23, Day 95 until Fall Ball. Sports has played for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands.

Official League Records

Sports joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β9 elections, Sports received the Friend of Crows modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Birds decree.

During the Coffee Cup, Sports played for Atlético Latte as a pitcher.

On Season β16, Day 56, Sports became a lineup player due to Reverb.

On Season β20, Day 59, Sports was swept  Elsewhere... and gained the Negative modification as a result of Riley Firewall's Undertaker modification.

Over the course of Season β23 until Day 95, Sports entered and exited the Jazz Hands' Shadows two times as a result of The Pocket Fax Machine and Voicemail events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

On Season β23, Day 95, Sports was exchanged to the Hades Tigers due to Feedback. Sports was replaced by Siobhan Chark.

On Season β24, Day 79, Sports gained the Unstable modification as the result of a Night Shift between themselves and Percival Bendie, where no observable roster change was made and Sports remained on the Tigers' rotation.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Time on the Breckenridge Jazz Hands

Despite being statistically the best original pitcher on the team, Sports is widely reviled by fans, teammates, staff, officials, and everyone else who has ever met him for his consistent pattern of unsplortsmanlike conduct. In the darkest corners of Breckenridge, some even whisper that Sports does not think the commissioner is doing a great job. Sports, of course, denies any such allegations, and insists he feels The Commissioner is doing a perfectly adequate job given these trying circumstances.

The origins of Sports' unsplortsmanlike conduct is a topic of frequent discussion, but many point to his tendency to expound upon hypothetical changes to the rules of Blaseball, such as the immediate ending of a game after entering Shame, the exclusive hiring of umpires who cannot incinerate players, or the ability to change pitchers in the middle of a game. Sports has also devised a variety of new splorts such as "curling," a splort bearing many similarities to clurling at first glance, but using a specialized stone instead of a perpetually screaming head. Interviews with fans suggest these and other unusual ideas form the basis of many fans' dislike of Sports.

Sports' walk-up song is the entirety of Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring," which was never expected to play as Sports joined the league as a pitcher. During Sports' time as a lineup player following a Reverb in Season β16, the shadow orchestra's musicians in the Pit have performed a record 6 renditions of the ballet simultaneously, and finish 20 minutes after each game ends on average.

Discipline Era

After August Sky joined the Jazz Hands in Season β3, Day 23, Sports' teammates reported a shift in his behavior. Lowe Forbes claims that they heard Sports say "the Commissioner is doing a great job" during a recent pitching practice, though none of the other pitchers could confirm this. When asked to comment on this rumor, Sports looked to the dent in the stadium wall from Sky's pitches and said, "I don't know anything anymore." With the arrival of the Alternate Reality Campos Arias at the end of Season 4, Sports was reported to take a more relaxed approach to the game. Fans speculate that with Arias and Sky's pitching talent, Sports realized there was less pressure on him to perform.

Sports wasn't required to pitch in the Playoff quarter- or semi-finals but pitched against the Chicago Firefighters in Game 4 of the Finals and was Shamed.

August Sky left the Jazz Hands in the Season 5 elections which caused Sports to be the team's second highest starred pitcher after Arias. It is rumored that he has been more stressed during team practices or "Jam sessions" recently. Teammate Tamara Crankit has stated that ze saw Sports topping up the bird-feeder in the team's locker room, which was used by Sky when they were present on the team. As a result of maintaining the bird feeder, Sports attracted a following of birds. Though initially hesitant to associate with them based on Sky's opinions of other birds, after a bird swarm freed Jessica Telephone in Season β7, he began actively feeding local birds. This ultimately resulted in him becoming a Friend of Crows in the Season β9 elections aftermath.

Expansion Era

Walton Sports welcomed the new era as did most of his teammates. In contrast to his rather unsplortsmanlike conduct at the beginning of his career, Sports had mellowed out by the start of the new era and had become one of the team's few "Responsible Adults."

While most Jazz Hands were hopeful for Season β13, which would go on to be notoriously tragic for the team, Sports started the season already unsure of what was to come due to the results of his seasonal tarot reading. The reading included a 1990 Seattle Mariners Randy Johnson Topps card, which Sports referred to as “The Tower of Baseball cards,” a statement that made little sense to his teammates, who were unfamiliar with the fictional concepts of “baseball” and “Randy Johnson of the Seattle Mariners.” Sports wasn’t particularly close to teammate Combs Estes, as Estes had been traded to the team in exchange for August Sky, something Sports had been petty about for many seasons. Sports expressed regret for his pettiness after Estes’ incineration following an entire season of unfortunate events, stating in an end-of-season interview that he’d “never wish that on anyone.”

After the return of August Sky to the Jazz Hands following the Season β13 elections, teammates reported an improvement in Sports' mood following the events of the season. Sports was often seen with Sky when not playing.

The increasing complexity of the league often drew complaints from Sports, who pointed out how unsafe certain modifications such as Grind Rails and Salmon Cannons were. Like with Sports’ proposals to change the rules of Blaseball to include things such as eliminating Shame and Rogue Umpires, these complaints were ignored and called unsplortsmanlike by fans.

Due to a Reverb in Season β16, Sports became a lineup player. Despite his rather lackluster batting skills compared to his pitching, Sports quickly became one of the best base thieves in the league. Rumors soon formed claiming that Sports and teammate Collins Melon were planning to literally steal every base in the league together. When asked about these rumors, Sports brushed them off, stating that it was “ridiculous” to think that he’d ever disrespect Blaseball by literally stealing bases. Sports continues to proclaim his and Melon’s innocence whenever bases are reported missing after an away game.

The Season β18 incinerations of teammates Bauer Zimmerman and Tamara Crankit, the latter of whom he had been playing with since Season β1, were hard on Sports. There was another surprise for Sports that season, as Lancelot Kane, Zimmerman's replacement, had been Sports' babysitter when he was young. When Kane was sent back in time, Sports and others who knew her believed she had gone missing and presumed her to be dead. Having Kane show up on the Jazz Hands physically younger than Sports was hard for him to comprehend at first. While the nature of Kane's reappearance was strange and difficult to process for Sports, seeing her again was ultimately a bright spot in an otherwise dark season.

After The Pocket built Birdhouses in Season β19, Sports took to maintaining them in his free time. Sports began to build birdhouses for the stadium along with other woodworking projects with the help of some of the tools found in the stadium's Smithy. Due to his usage of the Smithy's tools, Sports came into frequent contact with the facility's overseer, teammate Mikan Hammer. Sports appreciated the company and expertise of the team's master blacksmith while working on his projects, though he found the alchemical nature of much of the Smithy's work to be a bit too much for the birdhouses and wooden furniture he liked to build.

Sports returned to pitching in Season β23 after nearly 7 seasons on the lineup. On Day 83, Sports pitched during the team's only game in Birds weather that season, and called down a murder of crows to ambush Zeboriah Wilson. The Pit’s shadow orchestra was relieved to finally be free of playing “Rite of Spring” multiple times a game.

Time on the Hades Tigers

On Season 23, Day 95, after a game in Breckenridge, Sports left with the Tigers for Hades in place of pitcher Siobhan Chark. While fans immediately began to speculate about the unexpected, mid-season trade, Sports provided the only official statement on the situation in a post-game interview, telling a reporter: “My contract with the Jazz Hands was up and the Tigers seemed like a logical next step for my career.”

Although Sports took credit for the trade, he had a difficult adjustment period in Hades. He reportedly had a hard time adapting to the warmer climate in the Sixth Circle, as well as aspects of the fan culture in his new home. In particular, he is visibly uncomfortable with fans’ chants of “KILL” during eclipse games. Sports has addressed the topic once, explaining that he has seen the impact of rogue umpires too personally to be at ease taunting them, and that actually killing an umpire is not an action he is comfortable taking himself.

He did impress Tigers fans (who frequently call for “sippies”) by draining blood from Frankie Hambone in the first game of season 24. However, he immediately went pale, and play was paused while a trainer made sure that he was not going to faint on the field. A team representative confirmed that Sports was checked out by medical staff after the game and suffered no long-term ill effects from the consumption of blood.

Despite the initial difficulties, Sports settled into his spot on the team by the end of season 24, and fellow Tigers have referred to him as a “Team Dad'' on several occasions. Sports himself credits teammate Zion Aliciakeyes with easing his integration into the team. Thanks to his experience with birds, Sports volunteered to take over the upkeep of the Ampitheater’s birdhouses in the absence of Hiroto Wilcox. He was directed to Aliciakeyes when he needed tools to repair some of the birdhouses, and while he describes their first meeting as “overwhelming,” he also says that she was welcoming and happy to get him the tools he needed. He can frequently be found working on birdhouses and household projects at her place in between games. He has denied, however, that he is learning to build a mech of his own, saying that he’s “happy to stick to what [he knows] and leave the bigger projects to Zion, for now.”

Divination Practices

During a chance encounter, Andrew Solis gifted Sports a deck of cards made of cheap cardstock and depicting a series of people dressed in unusual facsimiles of Blaseball attire. These cards, which Solis called "baseball cards," presumably identify a number of semi-divine figures related to Solis' unusual rituals surrounding the "sport" of "baseball," and thus are typically considered an esoteric tarot deck. Sports uses this unusual deck during his pregame ritual of cartomancy. Teammates who ask Sports for a reading from this deck report that his confidence in readings ranges from casual certainty to forthright confusion, though his readings are rarely provably wrong.


  • Sports takes on grill duty at team dinners, where his teammate and three-headed dog Beasley Day often keeps him company (Sports does slip some snacks to Day whenever he can, although he’s not very sneaky and this is common knowledge on the team)
  • Sports does not have much musical training, but he did take a sistrum with him when he left Breckenridge as a connection between his former team and his new one. Mummy Melcon is teaching him how to use an Egyptian sistrum properly
  • Walton's favorite tarot card is a 2019 Los Angeles Angels Shohei Ohtani Topps card.

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

No other versions of Walton Sports have been observed. If you have information regarding a different version of Walton Sports, please add it here.

Fan Works