Canada Moist Talkers
The Canada Moist Talkers are a Blaseball team that debuted in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they were in the Mild High division of The Mild League, moving to the Mild Low division after the Season 10 election. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.
- Lucien Patchwork
- Ziwa Mueller
- Eugenia Garbage
- Jesús Koch
- Lachlan Shelton
- Commissioner Vapor
- Carmelo Plums
- Cedric Spliff
- Richmond Harrison
- Beans McBlase
- Tyreek Peterson
- Collins Mina
- Carter Turnip
- Rosstin Andante
- Mooney Doctor
- Rhombus Drama
- Billup Kiddo
- Premjeet Liu
- Denim Squall
- Spears Nolan
- Sixpack Dogwalker
- Zeke Wallace
- Tucker Flores
- Amos Melon
- Wall Osborn
- Natha Spruce
- London Simmons
- Trevino Merritt (Season 2, Day 72; replaced by Simon Haley)
- Kennedy Alstott (Season 3, Day 19; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
- Tyler Violet (Season 3, Day 44; replaced by Ziwa Mueller)
- Elijah Bates (Season 7, Day 32; replaced by Kiki Familia)
- Kiki Familia (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Quack Enjoyable)
- Antonio Wallace (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Beans McBlase)
- Workman Gloom (Season 7, Day 81; replaced by Commissioner Vapor)
- York Silk (Season 14, Day 87; repelaced by Lucien Patchwork)
- Joe Voorhees (Season 4, Day 28; replaced by Workman Gloom)
- Richmond Harrison (Season 6, Day 19; replaced by Fish Summer)
- Lachlan Shelton (Season 6, Day 23; replaced by Antonio Wallace)
- Hobbs Cain (Season 6, Day 82; replaced by Alston Cerveza)
- Quack Enjoyable (Season 8, Day 42; Replaced by Cedric Spliff)
- Eugenia Garbage (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
- Simon Haley (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Eugenia Garbage)
- Ortiz Morse (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 64; replaced by Beasley Gloom)
- Doc Anice (Season 13, Day 41; replaced by Bright Zimmerman)
Blessings and Trades
- Oliver Notarobot (Season 2, via the Defection blessing; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
- Shirai McElroy (Season 13, via the Plunder will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
- Bright Zimmerman (Season 14, via the Revoke will; no replacement)
- PolkaDot Patterson (Season 15, via the Plunder will; replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker)
- Alston Cerveza (Season 16, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Richmond Harrison)
- York Silk (Season 16, via the Plunder will; replaced by Carmelo Plums)
- Mooney Doctor (Season 13, via the Foreshadow will; replaced by Shirai McElroy)
- Sixpack Dogwalker (Season 16, via the Foreshadow will; replaced by Augusto Reddick)
- In Season 1, the Moist Talkers finished third in the Chaotic Evil Division, missing the playoffs by only two games.
- In Season 2, the Moist Talkers were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-0 (Best of 5).
- In Season 3, the Moist Talkers were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-2 (Best of 5).
- In Season 4, the Moist Talkers were blessed by Questioning Their Every Decision in the Season 4 Elections, which caused their opponents in the Chaotic Evil division to have impaired vibes by 7%.
- In Season 8 election, the Moist Talkers received the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing, causing 10,000 peanuts to be granted to each of their fans.
- In the Season 9 election, the Moist Talkers received the Boatload of Tiny Eggs blessing, granting 10,000 peanuts to their fans, and the Tag Team Hitting blessing, which improved their hitting and that of the Unlimited Tacos by 10%. They were subjected to Targeted Shame and Fifth Base.
- In the Season 10 election, the Moist Talkers received the Divisional Swap blessing, moving them to the Mild Low division in exchange for the Philly Pies. They also benefited from the effects of the Shadow Ban Together blessing won by the Charleston Shoe Thieves, boosting their shadows by 3%.
- In the Season 11 elections, the Moist Talkers were assigned the Arcana V The Pope.
- In the Season 12 elections, the Moist Talkers finished second in the Mild Low division and received the Earlbirds blessing, granting them the Earlbirds Modification. The Moist Talkers also received the Tag Team Hitting blessing, boosting the team's hitting by 10%. They recieved the Trust and Infuse wills, giving the Flippers modification to PolkaDot Patterson, and boosting Greer Lott's Stars from 11.5 to 15.9 total. However, Patterson was traded for Doc Anice due to the Plunder will soon after.
- In the Season 13 elections, the Moist Talkers received the wills Foreshadow which brought out Shirai McElroy in exchange for Mooney Doctor, and Plunder, which reclaimed PolkaDot Patterson for the team. Additionally, they won the blessing High Pressure, which gave them the High Pressure modification.
- In the Season 14 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Infuse Will, which infused Lucien Patchwork with a combined 6.0 ★-> 11.1 ★ stat change, and the Revoke Will, which sent Bright Zimmerman to the Charleston Shoe Thieves. They also received the Headliners Blessing, which sorted their lineup by Idolatry.
- In the Season 15 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Transfuse Will, which boosted Greer Lotts's pitching stars and decreased the batting stars. In addition, they received the Plunder Will, which sent Fish Summer to the Baltimore Crabs for York Silk. They also received the Water Logged Blessing, which gave their whole team H2O Blood.
- In the Season 16 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange Will, which traded Alston Cerveza to the Hellmouth Sunbeams for Richmond Harrison. They also sent Sixpack Dogwalker to the shadows for Augusto Reddick with their Foreshadow Will.
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History
The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.
- Season 1 - THE MAW
- Season 2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
- Season 3 - The Moist Owlette
- Season 4 - The Tantric Shrimp
- Season 5 - H O R K
- Season 6 - Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
- Season 7 - The ORB
- Season 8 - Buddy
- Season 9 - None
- Season 10 - The Husk
- Season 11 - FASHION™®©
For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.
The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.
- Talk Spit, Get Hits
- One Mouth, a lotta spit
For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.
- In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
- In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.
- The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.
On the Material Plane
- In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other, a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.
Logo by Cobaltcakes
Season 3 Team Selfie by @Spiral_Joe.
Richmond and Hobbs. by @Spiral_Joe.
Full Lineup by avery_helm
Season 12 Moist Talkers Team Selfie by Spiral_Joe
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4|
|Staff||Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle · THE MAW · Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle · The Moist Owlette · H O R K · The ORB|
|Places||Halifax · Canada|
|History||Canada Moist Talkers' History|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|TALK SPIT, GET HITS|