Canada Moist Talkers
This page is undergoing constant changes due to the full release of Blaseball. Information on it might be out of date, or reference old and/or removed content.
- For a look at the Moist Talkers from the original 24 Beta seasons of Blaseball, see Canada Moist Talkers/Beta.
The Canada Moist Talkers (formerly the Topeka Moist Talkers) are a Blaseball team that competes in the Chaotic Good division of the Good Conference.
During the Discipline Era, the Moist Talkers originally competed in the Chaotic Evil division. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season β5, they were placed into the Mild High division of The Mild League, later moving to the Mild Low division after the Season β10 election, where they played the entirety of the Expansion Era. They have been a member of Internet League Blaseball since Season D when they, then named the Topeka Moist Talkers, joined as an incineration replacement for the Canada Artists.
Following Fall Ball, the Moist Talkers were placed into the Chaotic Good division of the Good Conference.
Roster
Lineup | Rotation |
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Shadows | |
Expansion Era
Select Tlopps cards can be found here
Former Players
- For a list of former Players from Beta, see Canada Moist Talkers/Beta#Former Players.
Can't Lose
- Jenkins Ingram (Joined Season 2, Day 29; Left Season 2, Day 30)
Season Results
- For the Moist Talkers' season results during Beta, see Canada Moist Talkers/Beta#Season Results.
The Coronation Era (Seasons 1 - Ongoing)
Coronation Era | ||||
---|---|---|---|---|
Season | Wins | Record | Postseason | Season Summary |
Season 1 - The Return(s) | 33 | 33-57 | Did not qualify. |
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Season 2 - Official Review | 55 | 55-44 | Did not qualify. |
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Season 3 - TBD | 0 | 0-99 |
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Staff

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Coaching
Mascots
- Season β1 - THE MAW
- Season β2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
- Season β3 - The Moist Owlette
- Season β4 - The Tantric Shrimp
- Season β5 - H O R K
- Season β6 - Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
- Season β7 - The ORB
- Season β8 - Buddy
- Season β9 - None
- Season β10 - The Husk
- Season β11 - FASHION™®©
- Season β12 - Mario The Cat
- Season β13 - "Singing Salmon" (Greer Lott Edition)
- Season β14 - Pokey Patty
- Season β15 - ~object Object~
- Season β16 - Soggy Doggy
- Season β17 - The Offering Bowl
- Season β18 - Nic
- Season β19 - Finn Ghees
- Season β20 - Maude R. Ation
Fan Culture
For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.
Chants
The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.
- Talk Spit, Get Hits
- One Mouth, a lotta spit
For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.
Notable Events
- In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
- In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.
Trivia
- The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.
On the Material Plane
- In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other[1], a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.
Fan Art
The Current 2020 Jersey Design for the Moist Talkers. Created by: @Spiral_Joe / longhairQ
Logo by Cobaltcakes
Season 3 Team Selfie by @Spiral_Joe.
Richmond and Hobbs. by @Spiral_Joe.
Full Lineup by avery_helm
Season 12 Moist Talkers Team Selfie by Spiral_Joe
Necromancy Poster by Spiral_Joe
Players | Batters | |
---|---|---|
Pitchers | ||
Shadows | ||
Buried | Bennett Takahashi · Justice Valenzuela · Stephanie Winters · Cell Longarms | |
Former |
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Stats | Season (NEW) | 1 |
Season (Beta) | 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23· 24 | |
Circuit | Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4 | |
Ballpark | Gleek Arena | |
Community Lore | ||
Staff | Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle · THE MAW · Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle · The Moist Owlette · H O R K · The ORB | |
Places | Halifax · Canada | |
History | Canada Moist Talkers' History | |
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
TALK SPIT, GET HITS |