Canada Moist Talkers

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The Canada Moist Talkers (formerly the Topeka Moist Talkers) are a Blaseball team that debuted in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they were placed into the Mild High division of The Mild League, later moving to the Mild Low division after the Season 10 election. They have been a member of Internet League Blaseball since Season D when they, then named the Topeka Moist Talkers, joined as an incineration replacement for the Canada Artists.


Lineup Rotation

Select Tlopps cards can be found here

Former Players


Feedback Swaps

Blessings and Trades


Faded into Dust

Season Results

Team Overview

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History

The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

As a rite of passage for new players, and also to encourage camaraderie with the Charleston Shoe Thieves, new players are taken out shopping to buy several pairs of cool shoes. Players can expect their shoes to first get stolen by Beasley Gloom, and then when they eventually pass onto the Shoe Thieves, they can often find a little bite mark from Gloom. This is considered good luck, and a good omen for coming games.




Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.


The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.

  • Talk Spit, Get Hits
  • One Mouth, a lotta spit

For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.

Notable Events

  • In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
  • In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.


  • The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.

On the Material Plane

  • In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other[1], a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.

Fan Art