Hobbs Cain

From Blaseball Wiki

Hobbs Cain was a lineup player for the Philly Pies, and was with the team from Season β6, Day 82 until being incinerated on Season β8, Day 10. Cain also played for the Canada Moist Talkers.

Official League Records

Cain joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers with the Return of Blaseball.

As a Moist Talker, Cain was most well-known for hitting one of two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning during Season β2, Day 96 alongside Richmond Harrison. 13 runs were scored during the inning, leading to a final score of 18-3 and securing a spot in the playoffs.

On Season β6, Day 82, Cain was exchanged to the Philly Pies due to Feedback. Cain was replaced by Alston Cerveza.

On Season β8, Day 10, Cain was incinerated and replaced with Rai Spliff.

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

There are unconfirmed reports that Cain was cursed by a warlock to be a secret tiger person. This was impossible to confirm, since Cain told anyone who asked about it to get bent.

Little is known about Cain's early life. The first official record of him is as a new transfer student to the prestigious Fancilads Academy, where he was known for his brooding charm, sitting in the back of class, and not putting his arms through the sleeves of his school uniform jacket. "My folks never taught me how jackets work," said Hobbs when asked. "But it’s alright. I found myself some better folks. Deep, deep within the old woods." Even as a blaseball player Cain still wears his school jacket over his jersey. It hangs loosely on his shoulders, sleeves empty and fluttering dramatically in the wind.

Cain's disrespect for authority and dress code violations caused him to come into conflict with the powerful Fancilads student council. Under the threat of expulsion, they challenged him to a splorts duel. Cain accepted the challenge and chose to face them in "this splort I used to play with a childhood friend." The student council found themselves unable to comprehend the complex, ever-changing rules of said splort, allowing Cain an easy victory. This attracted the attention of a Moist Talkers scout, who saw Cain's knack for outside the box thinking as a key asset in a blaseball player.

On his recruitment into blaseball, Cain was described by the Halifax Gazette as a "triple threat" and "strangely alluring." Cain said that his dream was to someday find a way to keep his arms warm.

The Leviathan

Bootleg footage taken by Moist Talkers fans has revealed that on the rare occasions when Hobbs Cain hits harder than a single, a massive axolotl-like creature can be briefly seen floating behind the clouds above the arena. Cain referred to the creature as "the Leviathan" or "[his] old man." "He's always barging in to check on me," said Cain. "He bubbles and warbles in my head. I tell him I don't need his help hitting but the geezer never listens."

Study of Necromancy

In an attempt to subvert the authority of the Blaseball Gods after the feedback of Richmond Harrison to the Hades Tigers, Cain asked the Leviathan for a means to "spit in the mouth of god." Cain was brought by the Leviathan deep into the Throat to find a Necronomicon, which had been used as an exercise step by former Hades Tiger Fish Summer. Cain then spearheaded the Moist Talkers' efforts in pursuing Necromoisture as a means of recourse.

Career with the Pies

Upon his trade to the Philly Pies, Cain did not express much emotion upon leaving behind the Leviathan. Upon arriving in The Oven, Peanut Holloway claimed that he saw Cain's eyes flash like lightning before The Philadelphia Philling fell to the ground, bursting open and releasing four and twenty blackbirds that quickly coalesced into a giant goose. While no one can corroborate Holloway's story, after this event, many of his teammates did hear Cain say, "The Wawaiathan has awakened." The Philling's crust quickly sealed itself and it walked off as if nothing had happened.

Fan Works


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