Gleek Arena

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Gleek Arena (also known as The Gleek) is a ballpark in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and the current home of the Canada Moist Talkers.

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Overview

The stadium is also well known as the home of the Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle.

During the postseason, the stadium will occasionally drift to or appear elsewhere in Canada, always returning to Halifax before the start of the next season. This has not been, nor should it be, investigated.

Name

Since 2020, the stadium has been named for its largest sponsor Gleek Telecoms. Previously, it was known as Spittle Park, named for the Spittle Candy Company who contributed $21.2 million for the arena's construction in exchange for 35 years of naming rights.

The stadium is affectionately dubbed the "Moist Zone" by fans of its home team.

Entrance

The way that the Moist Talkers enter Gleek Arena is as convoluted as the methods by which the team produces the 4 gallons of spit that they are required to produce daily to be part of the team. The first obstacle is the engineering marvel that is Moat Gleek, a moat that is fed off a series of sluices that transport the spittle that lands on the floor of the stands. The moat was constructed in the shape of the ducts of the salivary gland. During a good game it is not uncommon for the moat to overflow and create small tidal waves. Next is the showers, nothing more needs to be said about those. Lastly is the traditional slip and slide, a 300 foot monument to the purity of Blaseball, and the love of the game. It is filled with plenty of protein to make sure that it foams just like the mouths of our dear Moist Talkers.

Concession Stand

Gleek Arena’s concession stand, named The Spitoon after former Moist Talkers coach and now concession stand manager Swarthy Spitoon, serves a variety of damp goods and beverages to wet the already sopping appetite of the Moist Talker fan base. The most popular snack is Moist, a piece of damp bread, served with cheese curds and gravy. This modern twist on poutine is sold as a combo with damp all-dressed, ketchup, or roasted chicken flavoured chips. The Spitoon also serves less-traditional foods such as boiled hot dogs, nachos and soups, as well as gum and hard candies to assist the more saliva-impaired fans in wetting their mouths.

The Spitoon serves alcohol provided by Sunken Treasures Brewing Co, a craft brewing company established in the wake of Halifax’s descent towards the ocean floor. Manager and proprietor of Sunken Treasures Brewing Co, Gill Masse, was briefly the water-boy for the original Moist Talkers team until the position was deemed “pointless”. All hops used in Sunken Treasure brewing process has been grown in the Under-Arena since THE MAW retired into the ocean floor at the beginning of Season 2. The unique ecology of the Under-Arena, as well as the ample moisture levels in the tunnels below Gleek Stadium, provides a unique flavour to the hops.

Current and reoccurring brews served at The Spitoon include Morse Code Mild Ale, Polkadot Pilsner, Cerveza Classic Cream Ale, The Comet Černý, Tigerfish Summer Sour, Commissioner's Great Job Vienna Lager, Pass the Spliff Schwarzbier, and McBlase Smoked Barrel Aged Kidney Kellerbier. Previously retired brews include the Violet Cherry Sour, Crystal Slasher Stout, Notarobot’s 100% Approved Pure Gasoline, Shelton’s Signature Donair IPA, Gloom's Golden Ale, 12-foot Party Skeleton Saison, Bates Can Bock, Leviathan's Bitter Brew, Enjoyable's Belgian Quadrupel, and the Mushroom Axolotl Ale. Devoted Moist Talker beer fans swear that there was previously a Familia Fruit Lambic which was only served at The Spitoon during Kiki Familia's 5 1/3 innings, but Swarthy Spitoon swears he's never heard or served the beverage.

The Moist Diamond

The field of Gleek Arena, known as the 'Moist Diamond,' is a standard baseball diamond aside from the fact that it is flooded some 5 feet deep in a fresh body-temperature water-based mixture. This mixture is likely from the vast amounts of spittle produced by the team and fans, as well as other miscellaneous sources[1]. To keep above water level the blases float on anchored pontoons and the pitcher's mound is unusually tall at 4’7”. The front seats are completely submerged with all but the tallest fans heads being underwater when seated but snorkels are provided in order to ensure fans receive a "fresh, unique, and authentic moist talkers experience", The second row of seats is only about waist deep in water. The Moist Diamond  holds about 5.9 million gallons of liquid putting it on par with some of the world's largest aquarium tanks.

History and Formation

When THE MAW still resided in what was then spittle park it acted as a massive drain, but ever since the maw retreated into the deep caverns below the arena there is no longer a drain for the 'water'. The increased spittle contribution from the Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle further exacerbated the problem to the point where spittle seeping through to the Under-Arena and evaporating was no longer enough to keep the water level in check.

The rising water level in the stadium was quickly embraced by the team . Pontoons were built under the blases and anchored in place, and the pitching mound was increased in height significantly. Players now have to swim between blases, Skilled baserunners such as the Moist Talkers own Elijah Bates have mastered the art of "Spit Skimming".

Some argue that such an unusual home field gives the Canada Moist Talkers an unfair advantage however the head coaches Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle argue that "If you aren't prepared to swim through 5 foot deep spittle to win your game you shouldn't be playing blaseball".

Ecology

Many sea creatures manage to squirm their way over the levees surrounding Halifax falling into the city and occasionally into the gleek arena, But ever since THE MAW'S retirement there has been nowhere for them to go. Many have been able to find ecological niches in the waters of The Moist Diamond. How these salt water creatures survive in what appears to be something akin to freshwater is the subject of an ongoing study by students at Slimin’ Fraser University.

Probably the most famous resident of the Gleek Arena waters is the ‘Deep Diamond Hagfish’ which has no notable differences from the Atlantic Hagfish except for its ability to survive in the warm salival waters of The Moist Diamond. It’s main prey are the ‘Spittle Sea Worms’ that have taken up residence in the damp soil at the bottom of the field and again have no noticeable differences from their Atlantic relatives except their ability to survive in The Moist Diamond.

One Hagfish that has grown to the tremendous size of 8', has extended its diet to include fans seated in the front row. It has been affectionately nicknamed “Tubular Belle” in reference to her tubular shape, the percussion instrument, and the french name Belle. Some fans have even moved to make it the next mascot in the event that the current mascot, Gun Shrimp, retires or is defeated.

Zebra Mussels have colonized The Moist Diamond like most other north american bodies of freshwater. They mainly live on the walls of the far outfield where players rarely go and parts of the front row seats. The front row seats are particularly crowded by zebra mussels due to the high concentration of filterable food from dissolved popcorn, peanuts, and other snack foods brought by fans. Fans cushion themselves from the sharp shells with sponge-cushions sold in the Spit Swap, Gleek Arena’s gift shop. The zebra mussels also play a critical part of The Moist Diamond’s ecosystem by consuming excess snack detritus as well as the dissolved compounds from spittle that would otherwise concentrate as the liquid in the field evaporates.

Many species of sea grass and kelp have also taken up residence in “Shelton’s Garden,” named after the Moist Talker left fielder,  and other places where the ground is not too disturbed. Which provides cover for fish crustaceans and other small creatures that remain unidentified due to the fact Slimin’ Fraser University has not been able to procure permission to study them.

Concerns

Many have aired concerns over the ability of the field to hold these levels of water without collapsing into the vast caverns of the under-arena. And with Workman Gloom’s addition to the team many are concerned about the possibility of rising water levels from their eternal raincloud. The head coaches Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle once again reassure blaseball fans saying that “The moist talkers can hold any spit”

The Throat

The Throat was discovered when THE MAW retired into a deep cavern below Gleek Arena at the beginning of Season 2. It is speculated that the THE MAW's retreat induced flash-flooding in the caverns which eroded much of the small passages inside the bedrock sheet into larger, more accessible passages. This has led to disputes that the Gleek Arena was actually built on top of an older subterranean arena of unknown origin.

Notable Features

Wet-Ghouls

Ancient Corpses categorized as wet-ghouls can be found strewn haphazardly around the halls. They are semi-animate skeletons with extraneous features such as: calcified stone,damp algae, and sheets of fungus. These features usually result in the mouth resembling a gaping maw resplendent with drool, strands of plant matter, and rotting pieces of cloth. Exploration reports record that Wet-Ghouls will stalk, corner, and attack anyone that enters the Throat.

Grand Atrium

The largest cavern in the Throat is a grand atrium with lines etched into the floor into an esoteric pattern. There have also been sightings of creatures that regularly brawl inside the cavern.

Other notable locations include The Salival Sanctum, The Loogie Labyrinth, The Expectorate Expanse, The Mucus Museum, The Crypt of the Under Talkers, the SPit, and The Glottis.

Urban Legends

Fan culture dictates that any who infiltrate the lowest level of Gleek Arena and find a door marked with a water droplet must go through it and descend into the labyrinthine depths of the Throat. Local legends say that at the heart of the labyrinth lies the sleeping ownership of the Moist Talkers, described at different times as inky, dense, gelatinous, shadowy, sharklike, globular and even tentacle-y. The legend states that once Blaseball ascends, the sleeper will awaken and reveal their true power.

Trivia

  • Gleek Arena has been the setting of at least 29 marriage proposals, according to a 2020 article in the Halifax Gazette
  • City Councillor Chanderz Candyman, husband of Moist Talkers pitcher Ortiz Morse, launched his 2020 underdog campaign mayoral campaign at the arena, hoping to upset the three term incumbent, Cummerbund O'Shartigan.


  1. The eternal raincloud of Workman Gloom is quite possibly a new major contributor to the waters if The Moist Diamond