Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
The Management of the Canada Moist Talkers announced to the splorting world at large in the pre-season of Season β6 their selection for the new mascot, following the mysterious AND COMPLETELY UNREMARKABLE disappearance of beloved predecessor H O R K. With an eye to commercialism, and leaning on The Commissioner's introduction of the Idol system, they announced a bold "All Eggs In One Basket" strategy of pumping untold amounts of money into supporting Richmond Harrison as the face of the team, stopping just short of renaming the team the "Canada Richmonds".
The marketing took a two-prong approach: Win over hearts and minds during away games, and reinforce their love during home games.
Owing to overzealous spending in anticipation of winning the Mushroom blessing during the Season β4 election, Management had invested in a giant inflatable version of Richmond, to give him something to hug after gaining his obviously guaranteed enormous size. When the blessing ultimately went to Mexico City's José Haley, Management were swift to cover their paper trail, and to put the inflatable in storage. When time came for the traditional mascot press announcement, and they hadn't actually prepared anything, Jerry the Intern was sent into the bowels of Gleek Arena to "find anything, we don't care what, just something to shut the slavering hounds up!", and discovered the hoard of propaganda, bearing such titles as "1/14 = Practically Guaranteed!" and "Literally Can't Lose!"
The inflatable, primarily under the care of Hobbs Cain would be stationed in front of the main gates to the arena, and routed into the piping, leading to a perpetually drooling waterfall emerging from the inflatable's mouth, and blocking the only dry access to the stadium. When questioned, Management simply replied: "Look, if you don't want to bathe yourself in the glorious spit of our favourite player, who will certainly never leave us, then maybe you don't deserve to watch our games? Ever think about that?"
Jerry The Intern
In backhanded retribution for unveiling one of Management's deepest secrets, Jerry was sentenced to don a cheap foam suit made in Richmond's likeness, and dance for the amusement of away game crowds. This would be of course, a great deal of exposure, and certainly more valuable than any "paycheque". On Jerry's first excursion out of the country, the unwieldy foam head set off numerous detection protocols at the national borders, leading to the poor intern's lifetime addition to the "Do Not Fly" list, and forcing him to drive to every game, suit in tow. Already a decent blaserunner from his time in the Underleague, Jerry only got better owing to Richmond's unfortunate habit of attempting to destroy anything with his reflection, which included the mascot costume.
Jerry has yet to be reimbursed for his travel expenses, but has been informed numerous times that "the Finance team is working on it, get me a coffee".
When the Feedback event of Day 19 of Season 6 traded Richmond for Fish Summer of the Hades Tigers, Management initially denied it vehemently, desperate to regain their hubristic expenditure. When it became obvious that wasn't going to work, they switched tactics, declaring it a tribute, and marking down all Richmond-related merchandise for most fans, except for supporters of the Tigers, for whom the price would be double anytime they asked about it. Gradually, these feelings subsided, and Management graciously made the price of merchandise a standard rate across the league: 135% of original pricing.
To add cost upon cost, during a promotional event, Fish Summer accidentally popped the inflatable with their teeth, horrifying onlookers and players alike. Fish Summer has yet to issue an apology to Canada and her peoples for the incident, or at least one that can be definitively attributed to it.
Jerry is reported to still be in the "employ" of the Moist Talkers back office, and would like anyone hiring that he is looking for paid work. "Literally anything would be cool, I'm not picky. Unless that's what you want in an employee, in which case I can be picky as heck! Unless that's not what you want. Sorry."
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