Opening the Forbidden Book
Season 2 began shortly after the decree called Open the Forbidden Book won the Season 1 election. As a result, the 'Book' tab on Blaseball.com became accessible, displaying the heavily redacted contents of the forbidden rulebook itself.
The decree also described further permanent changes, such as: the introduction of solar eclipses that replaced all weather conditions during Season 2; the "umpires' eyes turn[ing] white," which signaled the introduction of incinerations that could terminate any player during Blaseball games; the immediate incineration of Seattle Garages' star player, Jaylen Hotdogfingers; and a Hellmouth swallowing Moab, Utah, immediately converting the Moab Sunbeams into the Hellmouth Sunbeams.
Finally, amidst this chaos, Blaseball had been designated its first era, The Discipline Era: a constant reminder of the consequences of opening the very thing that was forbidden to open.
Following the Season 1 election, the following decree was in place for Season 2:
- Open the Forbidden Book
|The Good League||Record||The Evil League||Record|
|Lawful Good||Lawful Evil|
|Dallas Steaks 🥩*||72-27||Hades Tigers 🐅*||63-36|
|Chicago Firefighters 🔥*||60-39||Philly Pies 🥧*||61-38|
|Los Angeles Tacos 🌮||45-54||Baltimore Crabs 🦀||49-50|
|Kansas City Breath Mints 🍬||41-58||Mexico City Wild Wings 🍗||47-52|
|San Francisco Lovers 💋||29-70||Hellmouth Sunbeams 🌞||37-62|
|Chaotic Good||Chaotic Evil|
|Boston Flowers 🌹*||51-48||Canada Moist Talkers 🗣*||55-44|
|Charleston Shoe Thieves 👟*||50-49||Breckenridge Jazz Hands 👐*||55-44|
|Yellowstone Magic ✨||49-50||Houston Spies 🕵||46-53|
|Hawai'i Fridays 🏝||45-54||Seattle Garages 🎸||46-53|
|New York Millennials 📱||44-55||Miami Dale 🚤||45-54|
* Denotes teams that advanced to the playoffs.
|Round of 8||Round of 4||Internet Series|
|4||Charleston Shoe Thieves||3|
|4||Charleston Shoe Thieves||3|
|Charleston Shoe Thieves||1|
|4||Breckenridge Jazz Hands||3|
|4||Breckenridge Jazz Hands||0|
|3||Canada Moist Talkers||0|
(Good 4) Shoe Thieves 3 - 2 (Good 1) Steaks
Game 1: (Briggs vs Griffith) Steaks win 4-1.
Game 2: (Bookbaby vs Herman) Steaks win 5-1.
Note: Shoe Thieves fans were reported holding a vigil outside Choux Stadium before the game. When approached for questioning, all fans responded "Burn the books."
Monstera’s single put the Steaks in front in the bottom of the 2nd, before the lead was doubled shortly after. The bases were soon loaded for Corey Ross, who promptly hit a single to make it 3-0. Monstera, up in the 3rd for the Steaks with no outs and runners on first and third, walked to load the bases. August Mina soon faced Bookbaby, hitting a sacrifice fly to score Telephone. On the other side, Stu Trololol hit a single with no outs in the 5th, then another single followed to threaten Leach Herman for the first time. Trololol steals third, Gloom sac flies and Trololol comes home. First and only run for the Shoe Thieves, as Ramsey and Fisher immediately strike out to end the inning with a runner on base.
Workman Gloom strikes out for the Shoe Thieves in the 7th with a runner on third.Bookbaby is falling apart, but Monster hits into a DP with a runner on 2nd, who then advances to 3rd, but cannot score.
Game 3: (Prestige vs Manco): Shoe Thieves win 7-0.
Game 4: (Gloom vs Haley) Shoe Thieves win 11-5.
Game 5: (Games vs Jaylee) Shoe Thieves win 5-3.
(Good 3) Flowers 3 - 2 (Good 2) Firefighters
Game 1: (Simmons vs Peterson) Firefighters win 8-7.
Game 2: (Keyes vs Alvarado) Flowers win 5-3.
Isaac Rubberman’s triple put the Flowers on top with two runs in the 3rd, before a sacrifice helped him reach fourth shortly afterwards. Margarito Nava then hit a solo home run to make it 4. Rosa tripled in the 4th, scoring a run before Triumphant followed with a single, bringing them home. Roseheart follows, hitting Triumphant round to third, Poole then up but flies out.In the 7th, Roseheart scores a runner and rounds to third for Paula Mason, one down. In the 8th, Suzanne sac flies out to Whitney for a Flowers lead. Jacob Haynes hits a solo home run to put the Flowers up 5-3 in the 9th and cap the game off, as the Firefighters can't muster a hit in the bottom of the inning.
Game 3: (Wilson vs Spoon) Flowers win 5-4.
Game 4: (Picklestein vs Guerra) Firefighters win 2-1.
Game 5: (Weatherman vs Mora) Flowers win 4-0.
(Evil 4) Jazz Hands 3 - 2 (Evil 1) Tigers
Game 1: (Harrison vs Owens) Jazz Hands win 6-3.
Game 2: (Forbes vs Meng) Jazz Hands win 4-1.
Hendricks Richardson’s triple followed by a sacrifice put the Jazz Hands ahead in the first. Fish Summer’s flyout put a runner on third with two outs for Violence in the bottom of the 3rd, who hit a single and then scored, making it 1-1, where it would stay for a good portion of the game. Patterson struck out and couldn’t bring a runner on third home. Duffy later walked to put runners on 1st and 2nd for Cookbook, who singled and - somehow - the runners ended up on 1st and 3rd. Morin struck out looking with one out. Aliciakeyes tasked with bringing the runner home but grounded out.
Summer walks with no outs in the 5th for Violence, but Castillo gets caught stealing third. Violence works the count but flies out. Runner on 2nd for the Tigers until Summer is also caught stealing third, ending the inning. Baby Doyle hit into a crucial double play in the 7th, and defense remained the theme of the game. Hands have runners on first and third for Underbuck in the 7th, who grounds out to Cookbook to end the inning. 1-1 still. Randy Castillo then hits a flyout to Doyle to bring Summer up with a runner on third, but Fish grounds out to Lightner. Violence walks in the eighth, before three straight Tigers ground out.Lightner walks to put runners on 1st and 2nd with no outs in the ninth, before Mathews sends a three run bomb into the upper deck to put the Jazz Hands up 4-1. This is followed by three straight outs to give the Tigers a remote chance of coming back. Two Tigers ground out to bring up Aliciakeyes for the last out, who hits a single. Castillo up with a 2-0 series deficit on the line. Works the count well and singles to put a runner on third. Summer up. 2-0. 3-0. Grounds out to Richardson and the JHs win with the tigers leaving two on base and the tying run at the plate.
Game 3: (Arias vs Mason) Tigers win 6-4, shaming the Jazz Hands.
DANIEL DUFFY HITS A TWO RUN SHAME HOMER IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, A TOTALLY UNREMARKABLE THING FOR A NORMAL HUMAN TO DO. TIGERS SHAME JAZZ HANDS TO SECURE THE TIGERS' FIRST POSTSEASON VICTORY IN THE HISTORY OF BLASEBALL.Tot Fox stole third to bring up Cashmoney for the Jazz Hands in the third, who hit a three run homer to put the (53% favoured) away team in control. Defense again defined the middle stretch of the game, with the Jazz Hands producing a little more offense than the Tigers, but Yazmin Mason doing a good job of pitching out of a number of jams - she could not, however, stop Comfort Septemberish from knocking a low grounder into the outfield to score a fourth run. Richardson would ground out to Harrell and the damage would remain limited, but the Tigers now had a four run hole in an elimination game to claw themselves out of. They again failed to produce any offense until the 6th, when they successfully made it onto the scoreboard much later than the Tiger faithful would have appreciated. Moody Cookbook’s homer in the 8th brought the Tigers within two, and before long Landry Violence was on base with a runner on second and the Tigers only down on - obliging, his single tied the game at 4 going into the ninth inning and with the Tiger fans doing that thing they do, you know the one. Daniel Duffy’s two run home run put the Tigers ahead for good in the bottom of the inning, precipitating Season 2’s first playoff shame. Shame lasted for a good while before Fish Summer flew out and ended the shame phase.
Game 4: (Mendoza vs Wilcox) Tigers win 6-3.
Game 5: (Sports vs Figueroa) Jazz Hands win 6-4, advancing to Evil League finals.
(Evil 3) Moist Talkers 0 - 3 (Evil 2) Pies
Game 1: (Doctor vs Greatness) Pies win 5-2.
Game 2: (Notarobot vs Trombone) Pies win 8-7.
Haley’s sacrifice and Voorhees’ single pushed two runs across the plate in the first inning for the MTs, and although Dan Holloway pulled one back for the Pies in the 2nd, Hobbs Cain returned the lead to two runs in the 2nd. Violet then put Cain across the plate to put the Talkers up 4-1, before Hobbs made it five, still in the second inning. Firmly in control, Garbage doubled and stole third in the top of the 3rd for the Canadians, followed by a walk for Cain, but they were unable to take advantage and add to their lead. Rangel tripled for the Pies in the bottom of the 3rd, before scoring on the sacrifice. Pies 2 MTs 5.Jessica "my wife" Telephone hit a solo home run in the 4th for the Pies, who were now 5-3 down. After a turn around most of the order, Dan Holloway’s single with no outs set the Pies up nicely for Mickey Woods and Telephone's third chance at bat. Woods forced a fielder's choice and ended up on 1st for Telephone, who grounds out in 4 pitches in a crucial moment. The Pies, thanks to Wilson, pulled closer in the 7th, but the MTs escaped the inning with the lead, and Alstott's solo homer makes it 6-4 shortly after. In the 7th, Voorhees misses a chance to seal the game with a runner on third, grounding out to end the inning. Down 2, Spears Taylor gets caught stealing third for the Pies in the bottom of the inning. Harrison singles to put a runner on third for the MTs in the 8th, before Cain scores a run. Violet strikes out with runners on first and second to sit the Talkers down up 7-4 at the top of the 8th. Mickey Woods sacrifices for a Harrison run to pull the Pies within two. Telephone hits a solo homer, her second of the game, to reduce the deficit further. Wilson is then walked on four straight pitches, and Kennedy Cena puts the Pies in front with a two run homer to give them a lead they would not relinquish.
Game 3: (Lott vs Dudley) Pies win 5-2, advancing to the Evil League finals.
Boston Flowers vs. Charleston Shoe Thieves
Game 1: Shoe Thieves win 8 - 3.
Game 2: Shoe Thieves win 5 - 4.
Game 3: Shoe Thieves win 10 - 0, advancing to the finals.
Philly Pies vs. Breckenridge Jazz Hands
Game 1: Pies win 10 - 7.
Game 2: Pies win 10 - 2.
Game 3: Pies win 13 - 4, advancing to the finals.
Philly Pies vs. Charleston Shoe Thieves
Game 1: Shoe Thieves win 9 - 4.
Game 2: Pies win 12 - 2.
Game 3: Pies win 10 - 4.
Game 4: Pies win 3 - 1.
|Relegation||The last place team in the league will be eliminated from the league, and replaced with a new team.|
|Popular Evolution||The team with the most fans will Evolve.|
|The Fourth Strike||The bottom four teams in the league gain the Fourth Strike. It will take Four Strikes to strike out any batter on their team for the following Season and Postseason.|
|Enhanced Shame||Rule Change: When a team is Shamed, they will be punished in the following game. Their next opponent will start with runs equal to the number of runs scored in the Shame period.|
|Performance Enhancing Demons||Mggoka match ng strike fm'latghor. Fm'latgh. +8% Team Overall|
|Yes Plz!||Wake up your hitters with a cup of Yes Plz coffee. +10% Team Hitting|
|Pseudo-Thumbs||Pseudo-Thumbs burst from the skin on the opposite of your pitchers' hands. +10% Team Pitching|
|Wind Sprints||Run. +15% Team Baserunning|
|The Rack||[cartilage and bone snapping] +15% Team Defense|
|Seduction||Swing Away. The best hitter in the league joins your team.|
|Defection||It's business. The best pitcher in the league joins your team.|
|Bloodlust||URRRRRRGGHHHHHH. Maxes the stats of a random player on your team.|
|Gunblade Bat||A random hitter on your team will gain the gunblade bat, maxing out their hitting stats.|
|Literal Arm Cannon||A random pitcher on your team will gain an arm cannon, maxing out their pitching stats.|
|Soul Swap||They won't stop screaming. Randomizes your team's 5 worst players.|
|Blood Sacrifice||Your team sacrifices a fan from the stands. The Gods show favor. Your team will win all tiebreakers.|
- The Fourth Strike passed with 3028 votes, 25% of all Decree Votes.
- Peanuts passed with 4441 votes, 36% of all Decree Votes.
- Seduction blessed the Hades Tigers
- The Rack blessed the Philly Pies
- Their defense was improved 15%.
- The Pies won with 5% of the vote. The Kansas City Breath Mints had 34% of the vote.
- Blood Sacrifice blessed the Philly Pies
- They were boosted to the top of the tiebreakers.
- The Pies won with 4% of the vote. The Canada Moist Talkers had 16% of the vote.
- Defection blessed the Canada Moist Talkers
- Yes Plz! blessed the Charleston Shoe Thieves
- Their hitting was improved 10%.
- The Shoe Thieves won with 17% of the vote. The Baltimore Crabs had 22% of the vote.
- Pseudo-Thumbs blessed the Seattle Garages
- Their pitching was improved 10%.
- The Garages won with 15% of the vote. The Hades Tigers had 25% of the vote.
- Gunblade Bat blessed the Hawai'i Fridays
- This led to York Silk's hitting stats being maxed out.
- The Fridays won with 23% of the vote. They were the highest bidder.
- Soul Swap blessed the New York Millennials
- This randomized the stats for the Millennials' 5 worst players as follows:
- The Millennials won with 26% of the vote. They were the highest bidder.
- Wind Sprints blessed the Kansas City Breath Mints
- Their baserunning was improved 15%.
- The Breath Mints won with 41% of the vote. They were the highest bidder.
- Literal Arm Cannon blessed the Kansas City Breath Mints
- Performance Enhancing Demons blessed the San Francisco Lovers
- This improved the Lovers overall 8%.
- The Lovers won with 0% of the vote. The Baltimore Crabs had 17% of the vote.
- Bloodlust blessed the San Francisco Lovers
- This led to Kichiro Guerra's hitting stats being maxed out.
- The Lovers won with 13% of the vote. They were the highest bidder.
The following teams received no Blessings and were unaffected by Decrees from Season 2:
- Baltimore Crabs
- PolkaDot Patterson was stolen by the Canada Moist Talkers.
- Boston Flowers
- Breckenridge Jazz Hands
- Chicago Firefighters
- Dallas Steaks
- Houston Spies
- Los Angeles Tacos
- Mexico City Wild Wings
- Miami Dale
- Yellowstone Magic