Badgerson Stromboli

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Badgerson Stromboli is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been with the team since the Season β19 Endseason.

Official League Records

Stromboli joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Charleston Shoe Thieves as the Shoe Thieves' Season β19 Playoff Birth.

On Season β24, Day 30, Stromboli joined the Shoe Thieves' lineup in exchange for Jordan Hildebert at Choux Stadium via the Ratified Voicemail.

Disambiguation: This article is about the player. For the third base coach of the Charleston Shoe Thieves, see Badgerson Stromboli (creature).

Career with the Shoe Thieves

Badgerson Stromboli is presumably an ordinary middle aged human woman, with no evidence suggesting otherwise. Her identity before joining the roster is unclear, with most of her own accounts often varying wildly. It is presumed that Badgerson Stromboli is a pseudonym.

On election day of season 19, Stromboli woke up completely drenched in a hotel room in the Beck and Call. She recalls a handbook for new Blaseball players on her bedside, and a waterlogged briefcase containing fifty-three valid driver’s licenses, eight passports, three birth certificates, and seventeen tax documents of various completion from the year (redacted) through 1986. She was contacted by team manager Cornelius Games shortly after, and after randomly picking a name out of the briefcase, was officially inducted to the league as Badgerson Stromboli.

In choosing the name Badgerson Stromboli, she unknowingly invited the wrath of a badger of the same name, who finally cornered her at the Choux after alleged “years of tracking”. While Games and Stromboli discussed plans to escape its horrendous little creature claws through blaseball legalese, the badger drew the attention of Richardson Games, who thought “[it] was funny” and signed it up as the third base coach, forever intertwining their fates.

To distinguish the two, Stromboli is often referred to as Lady Badgerson.

Stromboli spent most of her time as a shadow investigating her past, assisted by Games. Despite their conflicts in heist-planning styles (or in her case, a lack thereof) they’ve struck a powerful friendship, with Games finding her a close, trustworthy confidant for matters on or off the job.

A Question of Memory

Stromboli reached out to both Cornelius Games and the Sunken Charleston Department for Psychotemporal Interporation for assistance on decoding her own backstory. Files from the SCDPI suggest Stromboli is unable to recall certain memories or information, such as her real name. Said information has been replaced with various other stimuli, such as the smell of sparklers, the feeling of G-force on a swing, or the sound of the word "Quetzal."

Though many details are unclear, Stromboli is able to remember occasional hazy fragments of her past, including elements from her cultures. Other thieves have sometimes stumbled upon her gazing nostalgically into the middle distance when she encounters certain traditional songs, and she’s been known to seemingly randomly use words from various languages, surprising herself as well as those around her. She’s also been found cooking purely from muscle memory, only realizing what she’s been preparing after the dish is complete. When questioned as to where she got the recipes, she merely winked and stated, “that information is confidential.”

When asked how Stromboli came to play Blaseball, records state she replied 'Fate. The universe is a diamond imploding to make a perfect nonagon.' and proceeded to bounce a blaseball on her foot for 17.3 minutes while shouting 'Tekkers!' at random intervals.

There is no information in the file about Games's aid in Stromboli's efforts. When asked about the results of the investigation, he responded 'It isn't strictly my business. I was simply researching. She's very happy now. Whatever the fruits of investigation may be.'

Relationship with Fellow Shoe Thieves

Since joining the team as an expert of heists, Stromboli and team manager Cornelius Games were often found in multiple explosive arguments due to their wildly varying styles of heist planning. Despite this, they struck up a "powerful friendship" and are frequently seen together in and outside of games, interacting in an amicable manner.

In an interview with the Charleston Comet, Cornelius had this to say on the technique that led to their altercations: "I don’t understand how she jumps in there without a single piece of planning, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get the job done." On Stromboli's work with the Shoe Thieves: "She has good taste in a fine Oxford shoe, and she can very well talk them off your feet if you let her."

Many fans who have seen the Shoe Thieves play have reported on Richardson Games and Stromboli reportedly being uncomfortable around each other. Cornelius offered, "I knew Dix would be prickly about our friendship. I told Stu to set them apart in the batting order, but she thought it would help them get along better. Dear Dickson is a.... defensive man."

Stromboli brings her own gear to the diamond, including playing in her own tailored trench coat in Shoe Thieves' colours. She is known among the Thieves community as a 'suave and charming presence'. On one of aer late night Twlitch streams, Vernon Shotwell commented on Stromboli:

She's, like, disheveled in this perfect way, you know? She looks like you'd see her running out of the rain into some warm little café, and then she'd ruffle her hair and take the seat opposite from you while you're drinking coffee, and she'd order black coffee and call you ma'am... you know? [Break for Shotwell to refill aer orange juice bottle] But like, she doesn't take that lollipop out of her mouth when she swings, though, and it scares me.