San Francisco Lovers
The San Francisco Lovers are an Internet League Blaseball team in the Mild High division of the Mild League and based in San Francisco. Previously, the team was a member of the Lawful Good division of the Good League, and of the Wild High division of the Wild League. The Lovers have been a part of the league since Season 1.
- Paul Barnes (Season 3, Day 5; replaced by Sandford Garner)
- Miguel Javier (Season 3, Day 11; replaced by Kennedy Meh)
- Helga Moreno (Season 23, Day 97; replaced by Yulia Skitter)
- Sigmund Castillo (Season 6, Day 61; replaced by Alexander Horne)
- Kennedy Meh (Season 9, Day 98; replaced by NaN)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 12, Day 12; replaced by Yeong-Ho Garcia)
- NaN (Season 12, Day 31; replaced by Fletcher Yamamoto)
- Yosh Carpenter (Season 13, Day 79; replaced by Gabriel Griffith)
- Cannonball Sports (Season 18, Day 58; replaced by Foxy Pebble)
- Knight Triumphant (Season 18, Day 85; replaced by Conner Haley)
- Don Mitchell (Season 19, Day 3; replaced by Bates Bentley)
- Conner Haley (Season 19, Day 62; replaced by Tot Fox)
- Percival Wheeler (Season 21, Day 70; replaced by Jacob Winner)
- King Roland (Season 21, Day 71; replaced by Juice Collins)
Blessings & Trades
- Knight Triumphant (Season 12 elections; traded to the Houston Spies for Morrow Wilson)
- Yeong-Ho Garcia (Season 13 elections; traded to the Houston Spies for Fitzgerald Blackburn)
- Morrow Wilson (Season 13 elections; traded to the Houston Spies for Knight Triumphant)
- Gabriel Griffith (Season 14 elections; traded to the Hades Tigers for NaN)
- Fitzgerald Blackburn (Season 14 elections; traded to the Houston Spies for Karato Bean)
- Knight Triumphant (Season 14 elections; traded to the Atlantis Georgias' Shadows for Gita Biscuits)
- Parker Meng (Season 15 elections; traded to the Miami Dale for Cannonball Sports)
- Ortiz Lopez (Season 15 elections; traded to the Atlantis Georgias for Mint Shupe)
- Kichiro Guerra (Season 16 elections; traded to the Ohio Worms for Pitching Machine)
- Bates Bentley (Season 21 elections, traded to the Hawai'i Fridays due to the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Percival Wheeler)
- Juice Collins (Season 22 elections, traded to the Hawai'i Fridays due to the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by King Roland)
- Djuna Scoresburg (Season 22 elections, traded to the Seattle Garages due to the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
- Annie Williams (Season 23 elections, traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos due to the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
- Gunther O'Brian (Season 23 elections, traded to the Mexico City Wild Wings due to the Blind Date blessing; no replacement)
- Milo Brown (Season 10 elections; replaced by Bontgomery Mullock)
- Fletcher Yamamoto (Season 12 elections; replaced by Milo Brown)
- Percival Wheeler (Season 13 elections; replaced by King Roland)
- Helga Burton (Season 14 elections; replaced by Percival Wheeler)
- NaN (Season 15 elections; replaced by Helga Burton)
- Gita Biscuits (Season 15 elections; no replacement)
- Liquid Friend (Season 15, Day 21)
Faded to Dust
- Due to interference from the opening The Book of Blaseball, history around the end of Season 1 is vague and ephemeral. However, blaseball historians have collectively agreed that on Season 1 Day 98, the San Francisco Lovers held a record of 38 Wins and 59 Losses and placed 4th in the Lawful Good Division. Thanks to postseason artifacts discovered, we do know that the Lovers did not make playoffs.
- The San Francisco Lovers received no blessings at the end of Season 1.
- The San Francisco Lovers achieved a regular season record of 29 Wins and 70 Losses. They placed last in the Lawful Good Division, the Good League, and the Internet Blaseball League overall. However, they had a good time out there.
- The Lovers were blessed with performance enhancing demons despite having 0% of the vote. Speculation on the nature of the demons suggests that they may have been Succubi, lured to the Lovers due to a kinship with the philosophies of the team.
- Kichiro Guerra was also blessed with BLOODLUST, which manifested as a burning desire to bring True Love back to the world.
- The Lovers were granted the fourth strike by decree.
- The San Francisco Lovers achieved a regular season record of 59 Wins and 40 Losses. They placed top of the Lawful Good Division and joint second in the Good League overall alongside the Charleston Shoe Thieves. They progressed to the playoffs, finishing in the top four after beating the Charleston Shoe Thieves 3 games to 1 in the quarter finals and losing out to the New York Millennials 3 games to 1 in the semis.
- Paul Barnes and Miguel Javier were incinerated by rogue umpires. They are succeeded by Sandford Garner and Kennedy Meh respectively.
- Kichiro Guerra suffered an allergic reaction when swallowing a stray peanut.
- The San Francisco Lovers achieved a regular season record of 49 Wins and 50 Losses.
- At the end of the season Kichiro Guerra and Parker Meng were accidentally swapped with their alternate dimension counterparts. This has caused strife within the team since, in her dimension, Mirror Parker was the captain of the Lovers. She is currently competing against Knight Triumphant for their seat, by seeing who has the bigger, better, and more extensive polycule.
- Yosh Carpenter was blessed with an extra set of elbows, while Sandford Garner was blessed with TWO extra sets. This helped increase the pitching lineup of the Lovers drastically while simultaneously making Garner a household name among fans.
- The San Francisco Lovers achieved a regular season record of 65 Wins and 34 Losses. They placed top of the Lawful Good Division. They progressed to the playoffs, finishing in the top four after beating the Dallas Steaks in the quarter finals and losing out to the Chicago Firefighters in the semis.
- During a game against the Hawai'i Fridays, reverberations caused by The Wave reached dangerous levels and Lovers batter Don Mitchell started to Reverberate. He is now one with time and space, freely able to travel between this dimension and the prohibition dimension.
- Don Mitchell swallowed a stray peanut while returning from the prohibition dimension for a post-season game against the Chicago Firefighters. It was apparently so delicious that it increased his blaseball skills across the board. Sclientists are still trying to recreate the event.
- The San Francisco Lovers achieved a regular season record of 53 Wins and 46 Losses. They placed third in the Wild High Division and advanced to the playoffs. The Lovers lost to the Breckenridge Jazz Hands in the first round, 3 games to 2.
- The San Francisco Lovers achieved a regular season record of 55 Wins and 44 Losses, tying the Breckenridge Jazz Hands and the New York Millennials for second in the Wild High Division. Due to Divine Favor, the Lovers finished third in the division. The Lovers advanced to the playoffs, defeating the Breckenridge Jazz Hands and the Baltimore Crabs to advance to the finals, where they lost to the Mexico City Wild Wings 3 games to 1.
- Theo King swallowed a peanut and had an allergic reaction.
- Some of Helga Moreno's hitting ability was stolen by NaN of the Unlimited Tacos in the Blooddrain. Later, some of her pitching ability was stolen by Montgomery Bullock of the Baltimore Crabs.
- During the Season 7 Election, the Lovers received the Headliners blessing, which arranged their lineup in order of their idolatry.
- During the Season 9 Election, the Lovers were subjected to Targeted Shame, but protected by the Wild High Fifth Base Bubble.
- The Lovers also won the Feel the Love blessing, which changed the entire team's blood type to Love, and made everyone on the team especially Charming.
- During the Season 10 election, the Lovers won the Popular by Association blessing, sending Milo Brown to their shadows in exchange for Bontgomery Mullock (created from a mishap involving the newly-ascended Baltimore Crabs' Montgomery Bullock being traded to multiple teams simultaneously), and the Subleague Swap blessing, moving to the Mild High division in exchange for the Hades Tigers.
- Knight Triumphant stole some of Eizabeth Guerra's Pitching ability in the Blooddrain.
- A Feedback traded Jaylen Hotdogfingers to the Yellowstone Magic, in exchange for Yeong-Ho Garcia.
- A Feedback traded NaN to the Hawai'i Fridays, in exchange for Fletcher Yamamoto.
- Knight Triumphant stole some of Lang Richardson's Pitching ability in the Blooddrain.
- Fletcher Yamamoto swallowed a peanut and had an allergic reaction.
- In the Season 12 elections, the Lovers received the Enrich Will giving them The Fourth Strike, the Foreshadow Will which sent Fletcher Yamamoto into the Shadows in exchange for Milo Brown, and The Big Sip Blessing which added Liquid Friend to the Lovers' lineup. The Houston Spies received the Exchange will, trading Morrow Wilson for Knight Triumphant.
- In the Season 13 Elections, the Lovers received Exchange will, trading Morrow Wilson for Knight Triumphant, and the Foreshadow will, swapping Percival Wheeler into the Shadows for King Roland. The Lovers were also the target of the Spies' Exchange will, receiving Fitzgerald Blackburn for Yeong-Ho Garcia.
- The Lovers went 53-43 placing second in their division. The Lovers advanced to the playoffs to be swept by the Baltimore Crabs in round one.
- In the Latesiesta, the lovers broke ground on the Polyhedron choosing the Douglas prefab.
- In the election, the Lovers voted to infuse King Roland and chose to bring Percival Wheeler forth from the shadows, via a foreshadow swap with Helga Burton.
- The Lovers traded with the Hades Tigers, swapping Gabriel Griffith for NaN, the Houston Spies, swapping Fitzgerald Blackburn for Karato Bean, and the Atlantis Georgias, swapping Knight Triumphant for Gita Biscuits.
- Via the Seattle Garages’ Min-Maxin blessing, Kichiro Guerra became a Maximalist, and Parker Meng became a Minimalist.
- The Lovers went 35-64, placing fifth in their division.
- In the Latesiesta, the Lovers became 8 percent more mystical, and voted to have more Coffee 2 weather in the Polyhedron.
- In the election, due to the Bats decree passing, King Roland, Karato Bean, Parker Meng, Bontgomery Mullock, Sandford Garner, NaN, Milo Brown, Don Mitchell, Helga Moreno, Percival Wheeler, Kichiro Guerra, Alexander Horne, Theo King, and Gita Biscuits all gained bats.
- The Lovers chose to bring Helga Burton forth from the shadows, via a foreshadow swap with NaN, the Lovers voted to infuse Ortiz Lopez's Batting ability and the Lovers voted to move Gita Biscuits to their Shadow Lineup.
- The Lovers made a trade with the Atlantis Georgias, swapping Ortiz Lopez for Mint Shupe, and the Miami Dale, swapping Parker Meng for Cannonball Sports
- The Lover went 49-50, placing forth in their division.
- In the Latesiesta, the Lovers chose to buy a bunch of Sweetner, and chose to build Birdhouses.
- In the election the Lovers made a trade with the Ohio Worms, swapping Kichiro Guerra for Pitching Machine via Plunder. The Lovers voted to make a roster move, moving Milo Brown from the Shadows to their Rotation.
- The Lovers went 36-63, placing fifth in their division.
- In the Latesiesta the Lovers unlocked Hotel Motel.
- In the election, the Polyhedron gained the Bat Smith, due to the Smithy Decree passing.
- The Lovers chose to bring Silvia Winner forth from the shadows, via a foreshadow swap with Milo Brown, and moved Cannonball Sports to the lineup.
- The Lovers made a trade with the Atlantis Georgias, swapping Pitching Machine for Knight Triumphant.
- The Lovers went 41-58 placing fourth in their division.
- In the Latesiesta, the Lovers cleaned up their ballpark, and gained more Birds.
- In the Election, Hotel Motel was ratified into physical law, removing it from the Polyhedron, but along with Turntables, would apply to the rest of the league.
- Two feedback exchanges occurred, swapping Cannonball Sports for Foxy Pebble day 58, and Knight Triumphant for Conner Haley on day 85.
- In the Election, the Lovers voted to move NaN from the Shadows to the lineup, then voted to Shadow Revoke, causing NaN to gain the roaming mod for some reason.
- The Lovers won the Cinnamon Roll blessing, causing Percival Wheeler, Don Mitchell, and Foxy Pebble’s Cinnamon stat to be rerolled.
- The Lovers went 43-56, granting them 43 unwins, placing them second in their division and sending them to the Playoffs. In the Playoffs, the Lovers made it to round two of the postseason, before getting knocked out by the Seattle Garages 3-1.
- In the Latesiesta Sandford Garner gained the Concrete Cannon, dropping their Squidish Sunglasses.
- Two feedbacks occured this season, with Don Mitchell swapping for Bates Bentley on day 3 and Connor Haley swapping for Tot Fox on day 62.
- The Lovers would temporarily gain the Soundproof blessing later the same season.
- Spark Beans would be the first player to be incinerated in the Polyhedron, during the Expansion Era, and during a playoff game in the stadium.
- In the election, the Lovers chose to bring Mindy Salad forth from the shadows, via a foreshadow swap with Helga Burton. The Lovers then voted to infuse Mindy Salad's Pitching ability.
- The Lovers won two blessings this season, getting Guarded; which granted the modification of the same name to Karato Bean, and Cover Letters; giving every member of the shadows a defense adjustment of -5 to 20%.
- The Lovers went 33-66 in the regular season, placing fifth in their division, and placing in the second position in the Underbracket. After a 3-1 series against the Mexico City Wild Wings, the Lovers
lostwon as the first Internet League Blaseball Underchampion.
- Notably, this season would emulate the last time the Lovers and the Wild Wings made it to the Internet Series in Season 7.
- In the Latesiesta, the Lovers elected to install Tunnels, and built the LCD Soundsystem.
- Following the end of the regular season, Lovers veteran, Liquid Friend was vaulted by The Coin, granting Friend and Uncle Plasma an “Early Retirement.”
- Throughout the season, there were several event of note:
- In Mindy Salad’s first game as a pitcher, they were able to execute a display of clashing blood modifications with the Houston Spies’ Blood modification Mind Trick. Salad managed to Charm Comfort Septemberish, getting the out on their official record, while Septemberish managed to Mind Trick the umpire into sending them to first base.
Mindy Salad charmed Co-for- ---temberi-h! Co-for- ---temberi-h swings 3 times to strike out willingly! Co-for- ---temberi-h uses a Mind Trick! The umpire sends them to first base.
- Jesús Koch roamed on and off the Lovers due to The Fifth Base.
- Theo King experienced a bit of an in-game oddity, where-in day 104, his Charitable Ring of Famine disappeared without a trace, lacking a drop message or an item replacement.
- When fans saw this event take place, they claimed that King ate the ring.
- In consultation with The Society for Internet Blaseball Research, the best approximation of why this occurred was also King eating the ring.
- In the Election the Lovers chose to swap Tot Fox via a roster swap with Kurt Crueller, voted to infuse one of Crueller's random stat categories, giving Crueller a batting stat increase, and chose to reroll Tot Fox's Flinch mod giving them Affinity for Crows.
- The Lovers went 42-57 in the regular season placing them fourth in their division, and landing them in the fourth position in the Underbracket. The team was knocked out in a 2-1
winloss against the Canada Moist Talkers.
- In the late siesta, the Lovers elected to build a Bird Hotel, and added Voicemail to the Polyhedron.
- In back to back instances of Feedback on day 70 and 71, Percival Wheeler and King Roland swapped for Jacob Winner and Juice Collins espectively.
- In day 76, in a Solar Eclipse game against the Hades Tigers, Theo King was targeted by an Rogue Umpire, but due to the previously mentioned gift of Fireproof, King was able to incinerate the umpire instead.
- In the Election, the Lovers vote to swap Percival Wheeler and Bates Bentley, and chose to swap Silvia Winner via a roster swap with Jacob Winner, moving Jacob to the rotation and Silvia to the lineup.
- The Lovers went 56-43, collecting 69 wins in the regular season and placing first in their division, the Lovers were granted the third seat in the postseason Overbracket. The Lovers fell to the Kansas City Breath Mints in round two in a notable 4-2 series, the Lovers were the only team in the Overbracket to not be swept by the champion Breath Mints.
- In the Latesiesta, the Lovers build the Thieves Guild.
- In the Election the Lovers choose to reroll Kurt Crueller's Attractor mod, then chose to swap Kurt Crueller via a roster swap with Theo King. The Hawai’i Fridays voted to swap King Roland and Juice Collins, undoing the prior Feedback.
- The Lovers were affected by several blessings, Helga Moreno gained Subtractor and Skipping due to Subtractor Avoidance and Record Scratch, and the Lovers lost shadow player Djuna Scoresburg due to the Seattle Garages’ Gachapon blessing.
- The Lovers went 39-60, placing fifth in their division; they were pulled into the Overbracket via the Wild Card, and fell in the first round in a 2-1 series against the New York Millennials.
- In the Latesiesta, the lovers elected to build Stables, and gained the capacity for more Birds.
- During the season, the Lovers voicemailed out Theo King for Kurt Crueller.
- Kurt Crueller was swept elsewhere and returned after 8 days.
- Percival Wheeler was voicemailed out for Foxy Pebble, then later was voicemailed back in, and back out again.
- Sanford Garner faxed out for newcomer Reece Saetang.
- Foxy Pebble voicemailed out for Sandford Garner, making Garner a batter.
- Reece Saetang was faxed out for Percival Wheeler, making Wheeler a pitcher.
- Helga Washington and Jon Halifax of the Kansas City Breath Mints were incinerated in the Polyhedron on day 63 following instability chaining from one to the other.
- King Roland fled Elsewhere to escape being caught in a Grand Heist.
- Finally, after a hit by pitch the day prior, Helga Moreno, a Lover since the Return of Blaseball, was incinerated in the Steakhouse on day 97; Moreno’s incineration replacement being Yulia Skitter.
- The Lovers had several current and former players who participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial both on the Rising Stars and the Vault Legends, including Tot Fox, who was drafted as a pitcher, and Season 1 Lover Don Mitchell.
- Mitchell would be the first player to be successfully collected by the Vault Legends, drafting them to the team. Following the end of the game, Mitchell would be Vaulted and Artificially Forged along with the other collected Stars.
- Tot Fox would be returned to the Lovers as a pitcher, as well as resurrected Gunter O’Brian, who was incinerated earlier in the season. O’Brian would be traded to the Mexico City Wild Wings with no replacement, due to the Blind Date Blessing
- In the Election, the Lovers voted for Roamless, out of an abundance of caution after the reveal of Parker Macmillian’s Firewalker ability earlier in the season, and recieved the gift of Under Review from the Reader.
- Mint Shupe and Karato Bean reached Base 2 and Base 1 respectively after the Lovers received the Targeted Evolution Blessing.
- Lastly, the Lovers lost Annie Williams, due to the LA Unlimited Tacos’ Gachapon blessing.
- Season 24 was not a typical season for the Lovers, or the rest of the ILB following the Supernova caused by Sun (Sun)’s pressure surge following the Semi-Centennial.
- Upon the reveal of the map, the Lovers spend much of the season moving throughout the four quadrants in indecision, eventually the Lovers eventually choose the Desert, the entire team becoming Scattered in the process.
- The Lovers would be one of the last teams to make it to a quadrant, prior to the consumption of the universe by the Black Hole (Black Hole.)
- There were several notable events as the world came to an end.
- Yulia Skitter was the first player to Night Shift out for the Lovers, swapping places with Jonathan Catalina.
- Percival Wheeler fled Elsewhere to escape being caught in a Grand Heist.
- Consumers attacked Percival Wheeler while Elsewhere for a total decrease of 2.7 stars.
- King Roland returned from Elsewhere after one season.
- The Lovers and the Philly Pies played an 88 minute, 25 inning game on day 38, now dubbed Crowvertime 2, where-in the Lovers managed to reach 1000 birds, being the first team to do so at the top of the 8th, despite ending the game 15-11 with the Pies victory.
- Jonathan Catalina was swept Elsewhere and returned after 16 days.
- Mindy Salad faxed out for Tot Fox.
- The Lovers touch down on Day 62, becoming fully Scattered.
- Peanut Holloway of the Philly Pies is incinerated in the Polyhedron on day 67.
- The Lovers ended their season and the era with the most birds in the league, totaling 1289 birds.
- The Lovers played their last game against the Oxford Paws before the consumption of the universe by the Black Hole (Black Hole), they were determined to be the first in the Desert division, and like all teams with the modification Under Review, they were spared nullification.
The Long Romantic Walk on the Blaseball Field (Season 2, Day 78)
- During the third game of the series against the New York Millennials, The Lovers secured an unprecedented 18-4 home victory and secured the clean sweep after walking nearly every single point. Rumors that Millennials pitcher Fynn Doyle had been seduced or blinded by love remain unconfirmed. When interviewed after the game, Lovers grand-slam hitter Sigmund Castillo had this to say: "I'm just happy to be out there with my favorite people."
Training Weights Stolen (Season 4, Day 27)
- During the third game of a series against the Charleston Shoe Thieves, the Lovers pulled out a phenomenal 21-5 victory. Don Mitchell was voted the MVP, with a 3-run homer and a series of additional runs scored throughout. Team management reports hiding training weights within the players shoes, so once they were stolen their true power was unleashed - though this is as of yet, unconfirmed.
Lost in the Infinite Los Angeli (Season 5, Days 13-30)
Main Article: Lovers Lost In the Infinite Los Angeli
- Early in season 5, the Lovers found themselves unable to navigate the Infinite Cities and return to The Polyhedron. This resulted in many scheduling adjustments and many emergency games against the Unlimited Tacos. Eventually, the team was guided out by the Charleston Shoe Thieves. However, the time the Lovers spent in the Infinite Cities with the Tacos created a temporary fate link between the two teams, causing their victories and losses to continue to mirror each other's, regardless of their opponents, for the next 15 days of games.
Historic Double Shut-out (Season 8, Day 16)
- In the fourth match of a back-to-back series against the Chicago Firefighters, the two teams made Blaseball history with the first ever double shut-out. Due to Firefighters being Shamed in their prior Day 15 match against the Lovers, and starting Day 16 with -1 runs due to Shame Bubble, the game concluded with a score of -1-0 to the Lovers.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Know more about the Lovers' history? Add it at San Francisco Lovers/History!
The San Francisco Lovers were founded due to the enthusiasm of their captain, Knight Triumphant—the only member of the original roster to have any previous Blaseball experience. The rest of the San Francisco Lovers original line-up for the team was sourced from Knight's expansive sprawling polyamorous relationships. The roster is currently made up of supportive partners, metamours, and allies eager to encourage Knight Triumphant to pursue their dreams.
Originally sponsored by Miguel Javier's Etsy store, the team ultimately decided to shun corporate sponsorship and are now instead sponsored by the feeling of seeing your partner again after having not seen them for a while. This sponsorship allowed the team to relocate to their current stadium, The PolyHedron.
- The team's highly variable success from season to season could be attributed to their habit of regularly updating their uniforms between seasons. Some of which have caused distractions to occur on field for both the Lovers and their opponents.
Logo by Cobaltcakes
Season 10 Wild High Finals Photo by @validtine
Season 11 Election Tarot by @deidrasky
S11 Lineup, by @BardSupreme
Season 15 roster by @Validtine
S19 Lovers BBQ by @Validtine
S23 Lovers playing Minecraft by @Validtine
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4|
|Staff||MeatCute the Abstract Force of Romantic Fate · Batsmith|
|Places||San Francisco · Tough Love Dimension|
|History||San Francisco Lovers' History|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|Let's Go All The Way!|