Blimp Hardison

Blimp Hardison
Basic Information
Team	San Francisco Lovers
Overall Rating	(1.5)
Batting	(1.5)
Pitching	(3)
Defense	(2.5)
Running	(1)
Vibes	(1)
Dates Active	June 18, 2021–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page

Blimp Hardison is a player for the San Francisco Lovers, and has been with the team since the Season β20 Endseason.

Official League Records

Hardison joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the San Francisco Lovers as the Lovers' Season β20 Underbracket Playoff Birth.

On Season β22, Day 50, Hardison joined the Lovers' lineup in exchange for Foxy Pebble at San Franstadium via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the December 9, 2022 Fall Ball, Hardison fell back to the San Francisco Lovers.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Colloquially known as ‘Blimp Hardison’ (collective they/them), this air vessel was originally hired by the Blaseball News Network for capturing aerial views of live splorting events for broadcast and advertising purposes. However, due to an unfortunate clerical error involving Hardison’s Blimp Aviation, Co.’s paperwork, the vessel was misfiled as a singular individual/blaseball player named ‘Blimp Hardison’. Despite protests from the crew, they resigned themselves to their inevitable fate, joining the San Francisco Lovers’ line-up.

Strangely enough, every crew member of the vessel’s name appears to be Hardison. When asked about it, the various Hardisons couldn’t seem to recall if that was always the case or not. To minimize confusion onboard the blimp each Hardison has taken a designated call sign based on a prominent feature of their appearance, their designation, or their job title.

The Blimp

The vessel, simply known as ‘Blimp’ was designed using a hybrid of magic and technology, appropriately called ‘magitech’. Blimp is a non-rigid (meaning its shape is not maintained by a rigid internal structure) dirigible (directable/steerable airships). Inside its exterior envelope, the vessel is fitted with air–filled ballonets and ‘love blood’. As Blimp ascends or descends, the internal ballonets, using magitech, expand or contract to compensate for eDensity changes and to maintain uniform pressure in the envelope. The eDensity is maintained under low pressure, so small punctures do not pose serious consequences for the vessel. One inspection element of the vessel is to look into the envelope for pinpoints of light which are indicative of small holes.

The Crew

Many individuals make up the crew of Blimp, below is one such crewmember.
This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Crew Manifest from IF-6.666 out of its Crew Manifest Registry...

Name: Willow [REDACTED]

Call Sign: The Medic

Pronouns: She/Her

Description

The Medic is a 20 year old goth, a fact immediately obvious from looking at her. She has shoulder length wavy black hair with bangs, often accessorized with a comically large bow. Her fashion sense is at times incomprehensible and although usually sticking to a broadly gothic Lolita inspired style, Willow will accessorize with just about anything whether that’s Wii Remotes, Kung Fu Panda 3 on blu-ray or just a cute little bag. One constant however are her custom-made platforms which are attached to roller skates, an unfortunate hobby that has resulted in multiple broken limbs over the years (though not always her own).

History

The Medic grew up in a rich neighbourhood of San Francisco with her influencer mum, stock broker Dad and annoying little brother none of whom she particularly liked or who were very present in her life. Her life was exceedingly boring and her only sources of joy were hanging out with her neighbour Kennedy and watching the planes pass by her window. After going to university Willow reinvented herself as a goth and took it upon herself to cross as many things off her bucket list as possible. In her time at uni she skydived, journeyed to the centre of Antartica, briefly joined a circus troupe and did yoga for the first time. Although these experiences were extremely exciting The Medic did all of them with a straight face seeing as she is, at heart, a goth.

After completing her degree Willow still had one item on her lengthy bucket list, spend a month in the skies, inspired by her daydreaming as a kid. When she saw an advertisement for the job of a medic on board a real life blimp Willow took a quick First Aid course and then lied on her job application (her degree had actually been in theatre but no one needs to know that). The rest of the crew were impressed by her constant sense of calm although her horrifically pessimistic bedside manner could use a little (a lot of) work. Due to the lack of other applicants The Medic got the job.

The Medic had no idea she would be signing on to a splorts team but willing to give anything a go Willow took it in stride. As a batter The Medic is lazy and noncommittal, or at least that’s how it appears, she has actually mastered hitting the ball at high velocity without tensing any muscles, not wanting to let down her aesthetic by looking like she’s trying. Willow finds the rest of the Lovers ‘weird’ but as a theatre kid enjoys their commitment to the medieval vibe. She often attempts to confuse them with her dry and sarcastic sense of humour which is always said so seriously it is extremely difficult to tell if she’s joking, she has become particularly close with Mint Shupe as the two bonded over pranking the eternally gullible King Roland.

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