The Core Mechanics are an Internet League Blaseball team based in the Core. They have been a part of the league since descending during Season β12, playing in the Mild High Division of the Mild League.
- Hands Scoresburg (Season β13, Day 30; replaced by Jasper Blather)
- Ruffian Applesauce (Season β13, Day 79; replaced by Adelaide Judochop)
- Lizzy Pasta (Season β13, Day 28; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season β13, Day 64; replaced by Mindy Kugel)
- Cravel Gesundheit (Season β17, Day 90; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Lady Matsuyama (Season β17, Day 37; replaced by Christian Combs)
- Foxy Pebble (Season β18, Day 58; replaced by Cannonball Sports)
Blessings and Trades
- Doc Anice (Season β12 elections, sent to the Moist Talkers due to the Plunder will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
- Jasper Blather (Season β13 elections, given the Roamin' modification by the Revoke will; no replacement)
- PolkaDot Patterson (Season β13 elections, traded to the Canada Moist Talkers due to the Plunder will; replaced by Shirai McElroy)
- Zoey Kirchner (Season β16 elections, traded to the Dallas Steaks due to the Plunder will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season β18 elections, traded to the Boston Flowers due to the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Allan Kranch)
- Agan Harrison (Season β19 elections, traded to the Charleston Shoe Thieves due to the Now Hiring blessing; no replacement)
- PolkaDot Patterson (Season β21 elections, traded to the Canada Moist Talkers due to the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Augusto Reddick)
- Torus McGhee (Season β22 elections, traded to the Seattle Garages due to the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
- Dashiell Drumsolo (Season β23 elections, traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos due to the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
Echoed into Static
- Wyatt Mason XI (Season β14, Day 77)
Faded to Dust
- Bees Taswell (Season β24, Day 24)
- Christian Combs (Season β24, Day 26)
The Mechanics joined the ILB during Latesiesta after descending from Blaseball 2. During the election, they received the Plunder will, trading Doc Anice to the Moist Talkers for PolkaDot Patterson, and the Foreshadow will, sending Quinns Jespersen to the Shadows in exchange for Zoey Kirchner.
The Mechanics broke ground on their Ballpark, the Core Pillar Center. They ended the season with 40 wins and a 41-58 record, placing them fifth in the Mild High division. They received the Infuse will, increasing Lady Matsuyama's stats, and the Revoke will, sending Jasper Blather to the Firefighters. Additionally, the Moist Talkers targeted PolkaDot Patterson with the Plunder will, sending Shirai McElroy in exchange.
During Latesiesta, The Pillars were renovated to increase Coffee 3s weather as well as add the PsychoAcoustics modification. Due to the latter, Wyatt Mason XI joined the team as part of the Second Wyatt Masoning, only to Echo into Static along with Wyatt Mason IX a few days later.
The Mechanics finished with 41 wins and a 40-59 record, again coming in fifth in Mild High. They won the Over Salted blessing and gained the corresponding modification, paying out double for Stale Popcorn. They also received the Trust will, entrusting Lady Matsuyama with the Homebody mod, and the Infuse will, increasing Jolene Willowtree's stats.
The Secret Base and Echo Chamber renovations were added to The Pillars.
The Mechanics finished with 46 wins and a 46-53 record, ending fourth in Mild High. They were chosen as the Mild League Wild Card but were swept 0-2 by the Breath Mints in the first round of the playoffs. They won several blessings: Sky's the Limit, granting the Maximalist mod to their Rotation; Pitching Practice, improving their Rotation's pitching by up to 4%; and Shadow Batting Practice, improving the batting of their Shadows players by up to 12%. For wills, they received Foreshadow, sending Jasper Ji-Eun to the Shadows in exchange for Foxy Pebble, and Move, sending Torus McGhee to their Shadow Rotation.
The Sweetener and Salmon Cannons renovations were added to The Pillars.
The Mechanics finished with 56 wins and a 54-45 record, coming in second in Mild High and advancing to the playoffs. They defeated the Moist Talkers 3-2 in the Division Series, but were knocked out in the following round after getting swept 0-3 by the Steaks. They received the Plunder will, bringing the newly-Alternated PolkaDot Patterson back to the team and sending Zoey Kirchner to the Steaks. They also received the Transfuse will, which improved Mira Lemma's batting at the cost of baserunning and triggered the team's Maintenance Mode mod for the first time, granting them Fourth Out for the first game of the next season.
The Pillars were renovated to become 8% less Obtuse and add Fax Machine and Hotel Motel.
The Mechanics finished with 24 wins and a 26-73 record, coming in last in the league after entering Party Time on day 78. As a result, they received a Free Will for a total of three: Foreshadow, sending Jolene Willowtree to the Shadows in exchange for Kelvin Andante; Move, sending Kofi Gildehaus to their Shadow Lineup; and Transfuse, improving Gia Holbrook's batting at the cost of baserunning and once again granting them Fourth Out.
The Pillars were renovated to increase Coffee 2 weather as well as clean up the stadium, making it no longer Filthy.
The Mechanics finished with 59 wins and a 59-40 record, coming second in Mild High and advancing to the playoffs. They defeated the Flowers 3-2 in the finals for their first recorded Internet Series Championship, totaling in four championships (including three unrecorded ones from before the Descension). They received the Move will, moving Mindy Kugel from the Lineup to the Shadows. They also received the Alternate Trust will, calling Kelvin Andante's Alternate with Negative. Jaylen Hotdogfingers was also targeted by the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will, sending back Allan Kranch.
The Pillars were renovated to become 12% more fortified and add Hoops and LCD Soundsystem.
The Mechanics finished with 50 unwins (thanks to Turntables) and a 52-57 record, coming fourth in Mild High. They received the Shadow Infuse will, infusing Polkadot Patterson's batting. They also received the Foreshadow will, foreshadowing Bees Taswell for Agan Harrison. Agan was immediately stolen by the Shoe Thieves' Now Hiring blessing.
The Pillars were renovated to become 8% more Grandiose and add Tunnels and Balloons.
The Mechanics finished with 69 wins and a 67-32 record, coming second in Mild High and advancing to the playoffs. They beat the Spies 3-2 in the Internet Series, claiming their second recorded championship (five total). They received the Move and Equivalent Exchange wills, which they used to perform a "Yo-yo" maneuver, exchanging Shirai McElroy for Zoey Kirchner on the Steaks, only to immediately move Shirai back to their Shadows.
The Pillars were renovated to add Voicemail, Peanut Mister, and Flood Balloons.
The Mechanics finished with 75 wins and a 65-34 record, coming first in Mild High and advancing to the playoffs. They were beaten 3-1 in the first round of the playoffs by the Fridays. They received their first blessings in six seasons, the first being Big Head Mode, which gave Adelaide Judochop Magnified and one level of Ego. Their second blessing was Handful Alternate Trust, calling the Alternate for Cannonball Sports, Gia Holbrook, Mindy Kugel, Mira Lemma, and Christian Combs, as well as giving all of them Negative. They also received the Equivalent Exchange will, exchanging Polkadot Patterson for Augusto Reddick, as well as the Shadow Infuse will, infusing Kelvin Drumsolo's batting.
The Pillars were renovated to add Phantom Thieves' Guild, Light Switch, and Flood Pumps.
The Mechanics finished with 62 wins and a 55-44 record, coming third in Mild High. They received the Swap will, sending Jolene Willowtree to the Shadows and moving Ilane Snart to their rotation. They also received the Shadow Infuse will, infusing Bees Taswell's batting.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
The Core Mechanics Officially Named Player Lifelong Association of Yaaaaaaay (or C.M.O.N.P.L.A.Y.) fields teams for several splorts at several levels and takes charge of ensuring that all divinely mandated splorting quotas are met. It is not part of Core Culture and is, at best, seen as an outside attempt to mimic the Core Organizations.
While the Blaseball team is technically a subsidiary of C.M.O.N.P.L.A.Y., they frequently bash them in press conferences and have several notes on record about 'how are they so good at doing what we tell them to in the worst way possible?'. The Core Mechanics have no fixed captain and, instead, the player credited with being team captain seems to randomly shift between every member of the team. This is often used to get out of signing paperwork, to destroy paperwork, to justify barely legal plays or equipment, or just to make anyone who wants to talk to the team captain run around for hours.
Most of the Mechanics are explicitly members of L.E.F.T. and are adept at modifying C.M.O.N.P.L.A.Y. logos into being L.E.F.T. logos.
C.O.A.C.H. was originally a platform developed by C.M.O.N.P.L.A.Y. to enable fans to offer criticism of play. After realizing that it was poorly moderated and had a series of gaping vulnerabilities, a dedicated group of DownTown residents hijacked the site and set it up as a platform for strategic analysis and suggestions for the team with a strong focus on optimisitic and constructive support and cheering for all the players.
The overall culture of the Core encourages creativity, innovation and blatant rule violations. One of the rituals for any new Mechanics player, pitcher or batter, is to craft a custom bat which represents that player. These range from painted wooden bats to elaborate mechanical contraptions capable of vaporizing balls. Many of these are dubiously legal at best.
One of the key ways to communicate intimacy between blaseball players in the Core is to exchange bats. This ritual is performed at weddings, before solar eclipse games or simply as a highly intimate personal gesture between two individuals who are very close.
There is an unofficial ranking of bats based on how much damage they could potentially do to an umpire. Ruffian Applesauce still holds the record.
While no one has succesfully accused and proven allegations of cheating, there have been several ILB regulations put in place in order to attempt to restrict the Mechanics from their more visible experiments with the limits of league-authority tolerance. The most famous example of this was the short-lived jerseys-per-player rule which attempted to restrict each player to a single jersey, which every part of them had to be in contact with. After Bees Taswell literally dethreaded a jersey and tied it around each individual pollinator before declaring themself the Mechanics sole fielder and Gia Holbrook proceeded to attempt to one-up this by combining all of her individual bodies to create what she called 'the Ultimate Gia-pocalypse Form of Dloom' - which was, in fact, completely capable of running Dloom as well as not fitting within a standard ballpark - the regulation was quietly scrapped.
The Mechanics descended during Chorby Short's record breaking foul ball count and quickly realized that pitching was a great way to break the game. Having already had a lot of talented pitchers, the Mechanics recruited more and focused on building up their rotation to truly dizzying heights. Pitching Practice and Shadows Pitching Practice are very important events and take place in a dedicated building featuring a Blaseball court, several laboratories and the RIV To The Lineup But We're Different lecture hall. They frequently have guest speakers including Original PolkaDot Patterson and other legendary pitchers as well as scientists, inventors, and members of the Throw Ball Good society of amateur pitch-ologists.
The Core Mechanics' shadows are considered a vital part of the team. Based out of the S.H.A.D.O.W.S. warehouse, they work to keep the Core Pillar Center running, repair equipment using the Smithy and man the Stadium Renovations.
- Gear Up, Core Down, Mechs Good!
- Down and Out!
- Shirai McElroy Stitch it up, Shirai
- Jolene Willowtree Make 'em weep!
- Kelvin Drumsolo Hit it, Drumsolo!
- Mira Lemma QED!
Core Mechanics fans often cheer for their players to have their blood drained, or gain an alarming grin when facing siphons. While Maintenance Mode took a while to trigger, and for a long time fans weren't sure what would count to trigger it, many fans credit it for the Season 20 Championship and the idea of rising up stronger with every hit back is a strong theme in Mechanics fan culture.
Fans of the Mechanics have a penchant for complicated plans. Most elaborate of these was the 'Zo-Yo', where the Mechanics successfully traded Shirai McElroy for Zoey Kirchner only to move McElroy into the shadows. Others include frequent debates about ways to exploit Party Time and other slingshot mechanics, the 'Data Crimes' plan where fans of a lot of teams fluted to the Society Data Witches to give gifts to their actual teams, and 'Signal the Sleuths' where fans of the Mechanics spearheaded a plan to use the up-shelling mechanic to send a message to Uncle Plasma and Liquid Friend.
The Mechs' season 20 lineup (from left to right: Adelaide Judochop, Kelvin Drumsolo (SHELLED), Gia Holbrook), by @wiresandlight
|Beta||12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24|
|Circuits||Gamma 1 · Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4|
|Ballpark||Core Pillar Center|
|Staff||ORBIT · Glolfbot · Horse Mister|
|Places||The Core · DownTown · The Manual · The Pillars (Structure) · The Shattered Pillar|
|History||Core Mechanics History · Core Organizations · Core Bestiary · Shrimpfinity Incident|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|We Can Fix This|