Uncle Plasma

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The subject of this page has been Preserved.
They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.

Uncle Plasma is a pitcher for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Plasma previously played for the BC Noir, New York Millennials, and Kansas City Breath Mints.

Official League Records

Plasma joined Internet League Blaseball as a pitcher for BC Noir during the inaugural Coffee Cup.

Plasma was traded to the New York Millennials during the Season β12 elections via the Uncle Indemnity blessing.

On Season β13, Gods' Day, Plasma and Liquid Friend were hired by The Commissioner to take part in the Investigation into the disappearances of Tad Seeth and Brisket Friendo.

On Season β14, Day 99, Plasma was named an MVP and gained the Ego+ modification.

Plasma was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for Oscar Vaughan during the Season β15 elections via the Breath Mints' Foreshadow will. Notably, Plasma had only been investigating the Breath Mints' Shadows for the duration of Season β15, Day 52, meaning all votes for this trade were cast during that game.

On Season β18, Day 27, Plasma retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Lucas Petty via the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine. On Day 32, Plasma rejoined the Breath Mints' active roster in exchange for Lucas Petty, again due to the Fax Machine.

On Season β19, Day 80, Plasma retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Lucas Petty via the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine.

During the Season β19 elections, Plasma's pitching was increased 5.1 6.6 as a result of the Breath Mints' Shadow Infuse will.

On Season β20, Day 5, Plasma rejoined the Breath Mints' active roster in exchange for Lucas Petty, as a result of the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine.

During the Season β20 elections, the Boss announced that Plasma and Liquid Friend's Investigation was completed; Plasma gained the Legendary modification, was sent to the Vault, and gained the Yolked modification when they reunited with Friend.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Plasma played for the Vault Legends as a pitcher.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History with the Breath Mints

On Season β15, Day 52, during a game of the New York Millennials against the Kansas City Breath Mints, Uncle Plasma entered the Crime Scene at The Meadow to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Brisket Friendo from the Breath Mints’ Shadows. As a prerequisite to the investigation, Breath Mints General Manager Max Betmint insisted that Plasma sign a temporary team transfer contract, as well as a non-disclosure agreement, confidentiality agreement, end-of-life plan, performance contract, digital image license, employee privacy policy, end user license agreement, letter of recommendation, equipment rental agreement, personal financial statement, hold-harmless indemnity agreement, survivorship deed, vehicle leasing agreement, website terms and conditions, and liability waiver. During the Season β15 elections, it was revealed that due to a hidden clause in the temporary team transfer contract, the contract was actually permanent, signing Uncle Plasma to Kansas City's pitching rotation for the foreseeable future.

After a few seasons with the Mints, Plasma began mentoring batter Kina Larsen as a junior detective, taking hir under his wing. A quick and eager learner, Larsen soon found far more investigative success than Plasma, having sought out and returned home numerous Elsewhere players, while Plasma has found exactly zero clues over many seasons with the Mints. When asked about Larsen’s talent in comparison to his own, Plasma has only glowed with pride, and is said to always keep an almond joy in the pocket of his trenchcoat for the young gumshoe. In his other pocket, he keeps a delicious fresh orange for himself.

Though a dedicated detective and pitcher, Plasma enjoys frequent vacations, often visiting Schlitterbahn Waterpark Kansas City after making use of The Meadow’s Fax Machine. Plasma does not seem bothered by the fact that the park has been closed for several years.

Plasma, like all Breath Mints, has failed the bar exam.

Excerpts from Plasma’s Notes

Uncle Plasma kept many notes scattered across journals, loose papers, and post-it notes pinned to corkboard. The following was found scribbled among Plasma’s notes. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-80.885 out of its Rumor Registry...

Rod signed me up for something called tiktok and I’ve gotten so many diy tips


Example of how to use the "get chapel killed" chant in chat.
  • Uncle Mode On
  • Nephew Mode (when performing poorly)
  • All according to Plansma!
  • Get Unc’d on!
  • get chapel killed
  • UNKIE NASTY (following Season β19 infusion)
  • Dunkle Plasma / Uncle Faxma (when getting Faxed)

Fan Works