Tillman Henderson

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They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
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Tillman Henderson is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Henderson previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, Charleston Shoe Thieves, and Rising Stars.

Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 4 elections, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 elections, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Henderson returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.

During the Season 10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)

During the Coffee Cup, Henderson played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

During the Season 12 elections Henderson received a combined stat change of 16.2 -> 20.2 as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Infuse will.

During the Season 13 Elections, Henderson's Returned modification activated, pulling them back into the Hall of Flame. Henderson was replaced by Simba Davis.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Henderson played for the Rising Stars, until they were collected and made Legendary by the Vault Legends.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Known Traits

Tillman Henderson is known by many to be “The Worst” but many readers have submitted more detailed descriptions of exactly how Henderson is the worst, and how he has personally wronged them. Here is the latest selection, though new reports will show up any time you refresh the page, and the full list can be found here

Tillman Henderson is the kind of person who brings an acoustic guitar to the party and tries to play Wonderwall. He gets frustrated when people don't sing along. He tells people over and over again that he's going to pick up playing again but never does.

Tillman Henderson's favorite book is the audiobook of Ready Player One as read by Wil Wheaton.

Tillman Henderson is dumbwoke and has a skull too thick to process discourse of any kind, he's supportive in the most Tillman way that still makes you exhausted to hear.

Blaseball Career

Tillman Henderson has (in his own words) one of the most historic and interesting careers in the ILB.

Henderson began pitching with the Baltimore Crabs in Season 1, (which he was terrible at) and was moved to their lineup in the Season 4 elections where he unfortunately fared much better, and was a valuable part of the Crabs’s offence as they swept through the league in the last half of the Discipline Era.

On Season 9 Day 64, Henderson was incinerated and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse, and as per Crabs tradition his ashes were turned into Memorial Pearls and distributed to Kennedy Loser, Adalberto Tosser, Forrest Best, and Declan Suzanne.

After the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season, Henderson was unexpectedly revived by swapping places with Jaylen Hotdogfingers and joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves as a pitcher (which he was still terrible at).

In the Season 13 Elections Henderson was forced to return to the Hall of Flame alongside Sutton Picklestein, and he was replaced on the Shoe Thieves rotation by Simba Davis.

Henderson remained in the Hall gone but not forgotten, managing to gain an Ego+ modification in Season 18, which eventually led to him playing for the Rising Stars in the ILB ILB Semi-Centennial alongside former teammates Gunther O’Brian, Hewitt Best, Tot Fox and Adalberto Tosser.During the game he was stolen by the Vault Legends, where he remained for the duration of the Expansion Era alongside former teammates Nagomi McDaniel, and Hewitt Best, who was also stolen during the game.

Tabloids and Rumors

Henderson’s strange and varied career has led to a number of contradictory and unlikely rumours regarding exactly who he is and what he gets up to. This is a collection of some of the ones we have managed to find. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-92.158 out of its Rumor Registry...


In Literature

Following Henderson's incineration, Runolfio Peeper wrote "The Funeral of Tillman Henderson"

The funeral was in a local dive
The only place where Tillman wasn’t banned
He’d burnt most of his bridges while alive
Now burnt himself, the crowd was less than grand

Among those gathered, there were muttered thanks
That we were finally rid this noxious pest.
A lad stepped up, known for his youtube pranks
He was the chosen speaker, he confessed.

Turns out Tillman predicted his demise
And so prepared for us some final words.
We found the opening was no surprise:
“Hey welcome, mourners all, you lousy turds!”

“I felt this day was coming,” Tillman wrote,
“And knew I really couldn’t miss the chance.
To take a moment for a swan-song gloat.
You can’t call me a liar—check my pants!

“I bet I burnt much better than did Combs
And just like Nora, death gave me no fear.
I’m sure the Crabs will make me touching poems
From the Hall of Flame, I’ll wipe those on my rear.

“I’m getting bored of writing all this trash
Thinking of you guys all sad just makes me sick
I really wish I weren’t a pile of ash
So I could tell you all to suck my…” quick
Footsteps echoed in the hall outside
And for a long moment nobody spoke
As if in a dream Tillman hadn’t died—
That he would walk in and reveal the joke.

But it was only Tillman’s father, late,
Who shuffled in with his starched suit and stayed
Just long enough so that he could extricate
The keys to his son’s orange Escalade.

And then, with little else to say, we left,
Crab teammates held Tillman’s urn up high
Like a championship trophy, and heft
His remains to where Tillman would lie.

We laid him as he asked behind the lot
Where the city buried all its toxic waste
And then we gave some mighty spits—we thought
This gesture would be much to Tillman’s taste.

As we walked away we sang a cheery tune,
To honor what from Tillman we had learned:
That death comes unexpected and too soon,
And life is best enjoyed before we’re burned.



Edit History

  • Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
  • Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
  • Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
  • Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
  • Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020

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