Liquid Friend XIII
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Official League Records
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Liquid Friend Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-80.975 and start reading...
Liquid Friend is a genderfluid, sentient, humanoid mass of liquid. Originally composed of sea water from the San Francisco Bay, they are capable of adapting their composition into any type of liquid, their favorites being freshwater and coffee.
Friend was originally a spirit of the Bay conjured by Karla, The Lady of the Bay, to ensure that items of great importance lost in the Bay found their way back to their rightful owners. These once lost objects would appear near the original owners in puddles, glasses of water, coffee pots, etc. all throughout San Francisco. It was this penchant for retrieving lost objects for people in the most mysterious of ways that caught the attention of hard-boiled gumshoe and paranormal investigator, Uncle Plasma.
Lost and Found
Plasma spent many days interviewing witnesses, collecting evidence, and finding clues that would all eventually lead them back to Friend. Friend followed Plasma around the city via its various puddles and pipes, their curiosity piqued by what this mysterious sleuth was doing. It seemed like Plasma was quite good at tracking down things, maybe better than Friend themselves, it was with this common bond that Friend thought that perhaps they could be friends. Friend soon after revealed their presence to Plasma, insisting that they could be of aid despite profuse protests from Plasma and a declaration that the sleuth was a “lone wolf” and “didn’t have time to babysit.” Friend, still too innocent and naive to understand what half of those words meant, continued to follow Plasma around on their cases.
Over time Friend split themselves from the Bay waters into a form more suited to aid their reluctant mentor, taking on the guise of a character they saw on the cover of a young detective mystery novel entitled, “The Secret of the Old Clock.” Plasma eventually came around on the idea of having a partner and protege after Friend proved their talent for tracking down leads time after time. The two complimented each other’s talents well and soon made quite a name for themselves, becoming the most sought after investigation outfit in the country.
Early Blaseball Career
The Lady of the Bay has a long history with the royalty of San Francisco, and, by extension, the San Francisco Lovers Blaseball team. Friend spent much of their early life watching the Lovers' Blaseball games, and became enamored with both the splort and the people who play it.
When the Coffee Cup came along, Friend took their chance. They joined the BC Noir team alongside fellow newcomer to the league, and reluctant partner/mentor, Uncle Plasma. After the Coffee Cup, shortly after receiving a phone call, Plasma departed for New York City on important business.
Having gotten a taste in the Coffee Cup, Friend didn't want to give up the splort, but eventually returned to their duties. Their first job, per Karla’s request, was to meet with the San Francisco Lovers to ensure that Excalibat was pulled from its stone by the prophesied hero. However, upon arrival at the PolyHedron, Friend was informed by Knight Triumphant that NaN had already left on their journey with the legendary relic. Their mission fulfilled, with the Lady of the Bay's blessing, they signed on to play full time with the San Francisco Lovers.
Liquid Friend and the Case of the Missing Players
On Season β13 Friend received a message from Uncle Plasma, still in NYC, that the two were hired by someone “high up the chain” in the ILB to take part in an Investigation. The duo were tasked with discovering the whereabouts of two missing players, Tad Seeth and Brisket Friendo. This was by far one of their highest profile cases, witnesses and eavesdroppers report that Friend was quite excited by this news while Plasma was noticeably less enthused by the prospect.
The two spent much of Season β14, gathering intel while playing Blaseball and working through their various theories and hunches. Plasma had a more “by the book” style to their investigative method while Friend focused on acquainting themselves with the players throughout the league hoping for a clue to shake loose. Unable to find any leads, the two decided to return to the scene of the crime, The Choux and The Meadow.
Meanwhile, the rate of missing players continued to increase throughout Season β15. The race for the truth was on. Where were all these players disappearing to? Who was taking them? Plasma felt that they were getting close to something, they could feel it speaking to them in the stars. However, Friend felt uneasy, as if someone was watching them from afar. Unfortunately, Friend’s suspicions were confirmed in the worst way possible with their sudden and abrupt disappearance on their way back to the Lovers’ Away Game Caravan after a game in Baltimore.
After being observed by York Silk on Sβ15 D19 Friend seemed nervous, they could be heard telling teammates “I don’t know exactly what this means, but it feels bad, really bad” they were then redacted on S15 D21. When asked about their time redacted, Friend replied “[REDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTED] Dark [REDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTED] Bad feeling [REDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTED] the woods had turned against me [REDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTEDREDACTED] Miami [REDACTEDREDACTED]” then at this point Liquid trailed off into deep thought.
Return from Redaction
Time in the Shadows
Friends' time in the shadows was spent getting their affairs in order, doing things like calling old teammates and friends letting them know that Friend was in Breckenridge, though they could not call Uncle Plasma, any phone Friend dialed Plasma’s number into would recognize it as invalid, though other teammates have dialed the same number and spoken to Plasma, when someone else dials the number and hands the line to Friend the call is automatically disconnected seemingly without either person doing anything. During this time in the shadows they also set up a coffee shop/PI’s office called The Drip. People frequently come and ask for an investigations, as well as getting some coffee or advice, teammates like Steph Weeks, Walton Sports, and Kathy Mathews are commonly seen at this coffee shop.
During their time in the shadows Friend made a few friendships, notably becoming good friends with Wyatt Pothos and Kathy Mathews. There have also been rumors of the beginnings of a relationship with Gerldine Frost and Riley Firewall, with one popular ship name being Thermodynamic Equilovebrium.
On the Jazz Hands active roster
During their time in active play they brought a lot of life to the Hands roster, partying multiple times and proving their skill with their bat. They also asked the team to come up with a solution to worry of freezing durning Breckenridge's colder winters, the team came up with the solution to internally heat them, and built Friend a heating coil made out of an old Kettle.
- Friend’s liquid appearance has been known to shift during different weather patterns. Teammates have gone on record saying that their appearance during Blooddrain weather has been known to cause quite a fright.
- Friend, since their debut in the Coffee Cup, has been referred to by many fans as the “Bae of the Bay”
- Even with the heating coil Friend still bundles up with lots of winter clothes
- Friend’s tempurature changes with their mood, they will boil when angry, bubble when excited, and almost freeze when disappointed
- No one (including Liquid themself it seems) is sure of the extent of their shape shifting abilities, though the most common theory is that they can become anything vaguely humanoid