Riley Firewall

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Riley Firewall is a pitcher for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, and has been with the team since Season 18, Day 6. Firewall has played for the Miami Dale.


Official League Records

Firewall joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Miami Dale on Season 13, Day 43 after the incineration of Raúl Leal.

During the Season 17 elections, Firewall became a pitcher due to the Dale's Move will.

On Season 18, Day 6, Firewall was exchanged to the Breckenridge Jazz Hands due to Feedback. Firewall was repalaced by Howell Rocha.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

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Item #: MAO-305

Party Class: ¡DALE!

Miami Anomalous Object Procedures: MAO-305 when spotted on security cameras is to be monitored for as long as possible. Disappearances and reappearances of MAO-305 are to be reported to Dr. Wide. Instances of MAO-305-A are to be given accommodations, invited to team parties, and no more than 4 and no less than 1 should be present in the dugout at any given time. We ask Miami Dale personnel and MAO-agents to not ask them questions along the lines of “What were you named before you joined the team?” and “Do you remember before?”. Instances of MAO-305-A who ask to retire are allowed to do so, nobody is forcing them to play blaseball, as long as at least one instance remains.

Description: MAO-305 refers to a temporal anomaly located within the confines of the Miami International Arena. It has been known to change locations on an unpredictable time period. It has been noted to occupy the same location for as short as 37 seconds, and as long as 38 days. Entrances to the room have appeared in the parking lot, near the hot dog vendor, and in one case appeared as the 6th stall in a bathroom with 5 stalls. Most visitors and employees of the park feel no curiosity or desire to enter MAO-305. Those who do however, henceforth become instances of MAO-305-A if allowed access into MAO-305.

After entering and subsequently exiting MAO-305, it's cognitohazardous and reality warping effects become apparent on MAO-305-a instances. The changes can vary wildly but some are shared between many MAO-305-A, and the changes are both behavioral and physical.

Possible Behavioral Changes Include but are not limited to:

  • An urge to avenge Raúl Leal
  • A sudden interest in hacking
  • Adamantly claiming they are related to Raúl Leal, despite not sharing any known familial ties
  • Becoming “Edgy”

Possible Physical Changes Include but are not limited to:

  • Flaming Hair
  • Purple Skin
  • Mohawk
  • Robotic augmentations

Despite wide variances of changes in subjects who have become part of MAO-305, all MAO-305-A instances claim to be named “Riley Firewall”. When asked about what is inside of MAO-305 by Miami Dale Personnel and MAO-Agents, the answers vary, but 59%(███ out of ███) of inquired instances claim it is “My Bedroom” or “The Riley Room”. This lines up with reports of instances heading into the room during bedtime hours.


Several Notable Instances include

Instance Designation Description of Instance
MAO-305-A-3 Shortly after Riley Firewall was given accommodations in the form of a stereo system to play music on, this instance came out of MAO-305. It appears to be made from soundwaves much like Raúl Leal. While they seem to make many tire screeching sound effects due to their intrinsic nature as a soundwave, they also appear to be incapable of speech or have made a vow to silence.
MAO-305-A-7 Another soundwave based Riley, although this one does not seem linked to the sound system installed in the room. The music tastes of Riley Firewall seem to have integrated themselves into this instance, giving them speech capabilities but also a personality physically based on grunge and nu gaze music.
MAO-305-A-9 A Saint Bernard breed of dog with purple fur, with a red flaming tail. Instance was first seen after Qais Dogwalker let Riley Firewall take one of their dogs on a walk. Riley Firewall and Riley Firewall subsequently came back from the walk. MAO-305-A-█ was asked by Qais “What happened to ████” which prompted MAO-305-A-9 to speak out “Rim Riley Rirewall”[sic] and run around Miami International Arena barking and howling for an hour and 15 minutes while being chased by the Miami Dale team. Current questioning procedures were put into place after this incident. They are occasionally allowed to play fetch professionally on defense but should not be put into batting rotation unless no other Rileys are available.
MAO-305-A-13 An instance of Riley Firewall that seems to be more comedic and less edgy than most. Has an aesthetic fitting the features defined by the occupation and performing art known as “Clowning”. Tries to cheer everyone up


Due to the extreme difficulty of containing this anomaly it has been decided that “Riley Firewall” be left on the batting schedule, especially since instances seem to be 3-Star-Class batting entities as well as 3-Star-Class Defensive entities. Because the first occurrence of this anomaly lines up with a unexpected ██████ that occurred during █/█/███ in the Thirteenth Season of the ILB, and because this anomaly itself is regarded as a batter and therefore capable of being caught up in a ██████ event, Feedback event, and to being ██████ by peanut weather, Dr.Wide has decided not to lower the party class rating from ‘¡DALE!’ to ‘dale’ due to the dangers it poses to the stadium.

Fan Works