Steph Weeks

From Blaseball Wiki

Steph Weeks is a lineup player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, and has been with the team since Season 6, Day 84.

Official League Records

Weeks joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands after the incineration of Randall Marijuana on Season 6, Day 84.

During the Season 6 elections, Weeks received the Gravity Boots, preventing Weeks from being affected by Reverb.

On Season 7, Day 99, Weeks siphoned some of Houston Spies batter Morrow Wilson's hitting ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from to .

During the Season 9 elections, Weeks received the Fire Eater modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Eclipse decree.

During the Season 18 election, Weeks' Careful Fireproof Bat was moved to Baby Doyle via the Jazz Hands' Item Move decree.

During the Season 22 elections, Weeks gained the Skipping modification as a result of the Record Scratch blessing.


The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Note from Historian Inumo

The primary text of this page documents the most commonly observed version of this player on the Blaseball field. For other versions, see the Interdimensional Rumor Mill below. If you have information regarding this player, see the team's contribution guidelines for information about how to add it to this page.


Weeks was formerly part of Stephens Lightner, but was drawn out due to an unusual resonance between Lightner's collective person and the temporal anomalies surrounding Baby Doyle. Current theories from the Lightner Project suggest that Lightner had an odd number of Stephens at the time, thereby priming Weeks' exit as a way to return Lightner to their preferred state of even Stephens. Weeks' memories are complicated by his former existence as part of Lightner, but his strongest memories are of growing up Native Hawai'ian, which is reflected in his general appearance. In particular, he has a fondness for the Hawai'i Fridays.

Appearance and Personality

Weeks is readily identified by his nine eyes and nine hands, each carrying a bat. The bats are named after the nine days of the week, which is to say (in no particular order), Tuesday, Friday, Wednesday, Sunday, Nullday, Saturday, Monday, and Thursday.[1] Due to the temporal anomalies that triggered his emergence from Lightner, he sees a different day of the week (past, present, and future) out of each eye simultaneously. On average, this results in perceptions that are close to the present time, though confusion arises occasionally.

Though a fan of the Fridays, Weeks has repeatedly declared that every day of the week is his favorite day. As such, he has also repeatedly stated that he personally hates Glarfield despite his generally agreeable nature. When asked to elaborate in an interview, he said, "Look, the only defining features of that cat are that he eats llasagna and hates Mondays, and why would anyone hate Mondays? Mondays are one of the best days of the week! Easily in my top nine!"

When a fan asked about his gender identity, Weeks replied, "Look, gender is complicated, but I think I'd best describe myself as a trans man."

Interactions with the Jazz Hands

Witnesses have observed wordless communication between Weeks and Lightner. Neither were able to comment on the nature or method of these communications beyond simply saying, "We just know, y'know?"

Weeks plays a diversity of percussion instruments as part of the Jazz Hands Jazz Band, using his nine hands to full effect.

Weeks often spent time during the offseason in his native Hawai'i, where he met Elijah Valenzuela while visiting the Hawai'i Fridays. After Season 7, Valenzuela joined the Jazz Hands and the two became close, sharing Hawai'ian culture in Breckenridge and spending enough time together that it sparked rumors of a romantic relationship. Valenzuela and Weeks confirmed their relationship in an interview shortly before Season 8 began. When asked about the start of the relationship in an interview, Weeks said, "We were talking about sailing and then he said, 'Scuse me one sec,' and vaulted over the balcony, sprinted across the street and clotheslined a cop. I was in love."

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

No other versions of Steph Weeks have been observed. If you have information regarding a different version of Steph Weeks, please add it here.


  1. When asked about his ninth bat in interviews, Steph replied, "I don't understand the question."