The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team formerly in the Wild High division of the Wild League. They were a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1, and upon winning the Internet Series in Season 10, ascended. During Season 12, the Crabs returned and joined the Mild Low division.
- Hercules Lincecum
- Axel Campbell
- Rosa Holloway
- Enid Marlow
- Pierre Haley
- Samothes Dembélé
- Bevan Underbuck
- Elijah Glover
- Alexandria Hess
- Squid Galvanic
- Thomas Marsh
- Lorcan Smaht
- Javier Howe
- Robbins Schmitt
- Matheo Tanaka
- Miguel Peterson
- Joyner Rugrat
- Nora Perez (Season 2, Day 25, replaced by Holden Stanton)
- Combs Duende (Season 4, Day 63, replaced by Finn James)
- Tillman Henderson (Season 9, Day 64, replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse)
- Chorby Soul (Season 17, Day 1, replaced by Trinity Smaht)
- Luis Acevedo (Season 17, Day 2, replaced by Jon Halifax)
- Forrest Best, by Observation (Season 15, Day 35)
- Alyssa Harrell, by Consumers (Season 15, Day 104)
- Nagomi McDaniel, by Consumers (Season 15, Day 104)
Blessings and Trades
- Winnie Hess (To the Kansas City Breath Mints, end of Season 1, replaced by Polkadot Patterson)
- PolkaDot Patterson (To the Canada Moist Talkers, end of Season 2, replaced by Oliver Notarobot)
- Holden Stanton (To the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, end of Season 3, replaced by Nagomi McDaniel)
- Nagomi Mcdaniel (To the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, end of Season 5, replaced by Holden Stanton)
- Joshua Watson (To the Chicago Firefighters, end of Season 5, replaced by Axel Trololol)
- Holden Stanton (To the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, end of Season 6, replaced by Nagomi McDaniel)
- Oliver Notarobot (To the Seattle Garages, end of Season 7, replaced by Luis Acevedo)
- Axel Trololol (Season 9, Day X; stolen by THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS; no replacement)
- Nagomi Mcdaniel (To the Hawai'i Fridays, end of Season 10, replaced by Evelton McBlase II
- Sutton Dreamy (To the Hawai'i Fridays, end of Season 10, replaced by Baldwin Breadwinner)
- Montgomery Bullock (To the Hawai'i Fridays, end of Season 10, replaced by Bevan Underbuck)
- Bevan Underbuck (To the Crabs' Shadows, Season 12 Elections, replaced by Jacoby Podcast)
- Baldwin Breadwinner (To the Miami Dale, Season 13 Elections, replaced by Logan Horseman)
- Evelton McBlase II (To the Core Mechanics, Season 13 Elections, no replacement)
- Luis Acevedo (To the Ohio Worms, Season 14 Elections, replaced by Enid Marlow)
- Enid Marlow (To the Crabs' Shadows, Season 14 Elections, replaced by York Silk)
- Logan Horseman (To the Miami Dale, Season 14 Elections, replaced by Baldwin Breadwinner)
- Baldwin Breadwinner (To the Hawai'i Fridays, Season 14 Elections, replaced by Alyssa Harrell)
- Parker Parra (To the Boston Flowers, Season 14 Elections, replaced by Nagomi Mcdaniel)
- Squid Galvanic (To the Crabs' Shadows, Season 15 Elections, no replacement)
- York Silk (To the Canada Moist Talkers, Season 15 Elections, replaced by Fish Summer)
- Brock Forbes (To the Boston Flowers, Season 15 Elections, replaced by Parker Parra)
- Jacoby Podcast (To the Ohio Worms, Season 15 Elections, replaced by Luis Acevedo)
- Silvaire Roadhouse (To the Boston Flowers, Season 16 Elections, replaced by Chorby Soul)
|1 - Revival||38||61||A Humble Begging. Crabs begin their journey as the least successful team in the Evil League, and the second least successful overall (falling just short of perennial loss champions the Tacos).|
|2 - 'The Discipline Era' begins||49||50||The Start of Something. Improved performance greatly after gaining 87-fingered pitcher PolkaDot Patterson. First team to reach a 20-inning game, versus the Jazz Hands. Lost Nora Perez as the team's first incineration.|
|3 - 'Peanut Plague/Uncertainty'||44||55||Gaining Ground. Lost PolkaDot Patterson in the election, receiving Oliver Notarobot in return. Spent most of the season in 4th or 5th in the Lawful Evil division but finished in a respectable 3rd.|
|4 - Feedback||52||47||A Setback. Missed the playoffs by one game after fading at the end of the season due to the loss of Valentine Games who was feedbacked for Tot Fox, and Combs Duende who was replaced by Finn James.|
|5 - Reverb||65||34||Ramping up. Finished with the league-best record after optimizing their staff (Notarobot to batter, James to pitcher) but lost in the first round of the playoffs due to a nervous and overeager lineup.|
|6 - Idols||80||19||The Greatest Team Ever (to date). After winning 4 blessings to improve the team by 6% overall, 17% in baserunning, and give 4 players a 20% boost, and then gaining star pitcher Axel Trololol the Crabs had unprecedented blaseball success, including a 21 game winning streak and completely sweeping the playoffs to win their first championship.|
|7 - Getting Shelled||67||32||An Omen. A strong Crabs team finished with the best record in both leagues, but lost to the San Francisco Lovers in the semifinal. This prevented the crabs from being targeted by the Champions in the Making blessing, which would steal three of the league champion's players, however, in an inter-team ambassadorship program the Crabs sent Oliver Notarobot to the Seattle Garages in exchange for Luis Acevedo.|
|8 - Rest In Violence||74||25||The Revenge of Crab. Decimating the season once again and running all the way to finals to block the Hades Tigers from ascension as the Crabs claimed champion status. In a repeat of Season 2, failed to claim any blessings despite having bid the highest in seven separate blessings, a result calculated by Crabs statisticians as an 8.5% chance critical failure.|
|9 - Forecast||71||28||The Great Toss. After a dominant regular season, the Crabs faced the Shoe Thieves in the ILS Championship. Crabs were up 2-0 before the Shoe Thieves turned things around. At game 5, Crabs were up the whole game, until Stu Trololol put down a three run homer in the ninth inning that won the Shoe Thieves the championship. Crabs missed their almost certain shot at ascension, but avoided the curses that followed Day X and won the "Fifth Base Bubble" blessing in the election.|
|10 - Backdraft||69||30||After a strong season and sweeping the first two rounds of the playoffs the Crabs met the Shoe Thieves for a rematch in the finals. On their third and final game of the series Tot Fox scored the 10th run and destroyed the Sun and Moon, which swallowed one of the Shoe thieves' Wins, leading to the serier ending at -1-3. After the game the Crabs faced off against the Shelled One's Pods in Day X, and were defeated in the bottom of the first inning. Regardless of their defeat, this third championship victory did trigger ascension and the Crabs were called up to the Big Leagues.|
|11 - Peace and Prosperity||1||98||The Big Leagues. The Crabs were obscured from sight only viewable through the Telescope at the start of the season. Though eventually located at Blaseball2, the crabs remain trapped in The Big Leagues and proceeded to loose 49 consecutive games. Their single victory in game 50 was followed by another 48 consecutive losses.|
|12 - The Expansion Era||0||0||Out of the Hole. While they did not participate in the season, the Crabs benefited from the Chicago Firefighters winning the Tag Team Pitching blessing in the Season 12 Elections, boosting every player's pitching by 10%. In addition, they received The Rack blessing, boosting defense by 15%. Unexpectedly they also gained the Fourth strike modification with 4% of the will vote, which lead to...|
|13 - Home Free||59||40||Welcome Back. The Crabs had a strong season, highlighting the potential of a low scoring team and a strong defense. finishing first in the Mild League, and sweeping the post season and ending with a victory against the "perennial loss champions" of old, the LA Unlimited Tacos. In the Season 13 Elections, the Crabs won the Rise and Grind and Unholey blessings, making Adalberto Tosser a Credit to the Team, and giving them the modification Unholey.|
|14 - The Expansion Era||38||61||Same as it ever was. The Crabs finished 5th in their division matching their season 1 record. However, the Crabs won the mild card, sending them to the Internet Series where they won against the Boston Flowers, then ended their season with getting swept by the Canada Moist Talkers. In the election the Crabs were able to Infuse Tot Fox, and Exchange Crabs veteran Parker Parra for an old favourite Nagomi Mcdaniel. Finally to the surprise of many (including themselves) They also Plundered recently deceased York Silk from the Hall of Flame, sending Enid Marlow to the shadows. Whoops.|
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For more on the Crabs' history, see Baltimore Crabs/History.
The original Baltimore Crabs were founded in ██52, and had an intricate relationship with the Mother Crab, though reports vary on what exactly it was. This peaked with the murder of the Old One by the people of Baltimore. Though details remain unclear to outsiders it is commonly agreed by Baltimorean's, including the original Baltimore Crabs team, that it "had to be done".
Members of the Crabs have said that they are driven to be the best blaseball players they can be, so that they may ascend to the gates of blaseball's pantheon and, repeated, "strangle the blaseball gods with [their] bare hands/claws." While they could not be reached for comment since their ascension and return, it is assumed that they achieved mixed results.
Players on the Baltimore Crabs, as well as the people of Baltimore often undergo a little understood process referred to as Carcinization; the process of a person turning, partially or fully, into a Crab. While occasionally this process can occur at birth, it is also often recorded later in life, or happening to inanimate objects or buildings in the area.
For a full season by season breakdown, see Baltimore Crabs/History.
For more on the Crabs' stadium, see Crabitat.
The Crabs' home stadium is the Crabitat which is located on the edge of the Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore. From the outside of the stadium resembles a giant crab although reports of it's origins are scattered. When asked the people of Baltimore report it is the body of the Mother Crab, one of her chosen, the machine that was used to kill her or even a building that underwent Carcinization at a massive scale.
Crabs lineup player Tillman Henderson is on record as trying to get the name “Crustadium” to catch on, but he is also on record as conveniently slipping in a puddle of chummy water every time he mentions it to a reporter.
The Baltimore Crabs and their stadium is managed and cared for by a collection of crabs, crab-like beings, and literal crabs. Among their hard working staff are:
- Howard and Dwayne the Co-Managers, who were appointed by Mother Crab as a wedding day gift.
- The Clawricle the Coach, who may possess the gift of prophecy, or be an ordinary crab. (or both)
- Crab Scott the Mascot, who does not fear death, and harbors endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods.
- Yurts Trunbo the Groundskeeper, who cares for the Crabitat and the memorial pearls for lost players.
- Runolfio Peeper the Poet Laureate, who writes tributes for Crabs and former Crabs.
- The Seattle Garages, for their shared love of deicide.
- The Chicago Firefighters, from a bond forged in blood after a series of twelve back-to-back games in Season 8. This alliance is known as Chiclawgo.
For a more in-depth look at Crabs fan culture, see Baltimore Crabs/Fan Culture.
The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the Great Crab Reckoning while others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.
Team Wide Chants
For a full list of cheers and player-specific cheers, see crabs/fan culture .
- Claws up!
- Claws up for Trans Rights!
- Hard Times, Hard Shells
- Let's go Crabs baby love da Crabs
- "Ain't no laws when you have claws" and its popular variant, "Claw's the law"
- TIME FOR CRAB
- CRIME! (When a base is stolen, a common occurrence when Forrest Best is on base)
- Crabs Bad! / Crabs Good! (Chanted in equal measures when the Crabs are under- and over-performing, respectively.)
- Same as it ever was (Said whether winning or losing, due to the quantum superposition of Crabs Good / Crabs Bad.)
- Shame as it ever was (variation on the former, for games ended in Shame.)
- WE ARE FROM CHICLAWGO! (during games with the rivallied Chicago Firefighters)
Want to see more Crabs fan work? Check it out at Baltimore Crabs/Fan Art!
A banner of the Season 6 finals by @Fairchart
A selection of the Crab's Season 7 lineup. Art by @CDPNhyphenK
The season 8 team, Art by @ratgills
A banner of the Season 8 finals by @Fairchart
The Crabs celebrating their Season 8 championship victory. Sketch by @ratgills
The Crabs before Season 10's ascension by @ratgills
A postcard from Blaseball2 in Season 11 - Art by @ratgills
WE'RE FAST NOW (OR, AN OVERTURE FOR ASCENSION) by Jake Loranger
UR TOO SLOW by 100 Crabs
Pep Crab a classic Crabs cheer
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4|
|Ballpark||Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark|
|Staff||Crab Scott · Howard and Dwayne · Yurts Trunbo · The Clawricle · Runolfio Peeper|
|Places||Tower of Crabylon|
|History||Baltimore Crabs History · The Olde One · Public Transclawtation System · Crustallion|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|