Baltimore Crabs

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For the Pre-History team with the same name, see Baltimore Crabs (Prehistory).

The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team formerly in the Wild High division of the Wild League. They were a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1, and upon winning the Internet Series in Season 10, ascended. During Season 12, the Crabs returned and joined the Mild Low division.

Roster

Lineup Rotation
Shadows


Player History

For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Baltimore Crabs Players.

Date Removed Added Cause
Toggle Intrateam Moves (Fax, Voicemail, etc.)
01 EL Winnie Hess PolkaDot Patterson 🍬 Blessing (🦀) Steal Best Hitter
02 25 Nora Perez Holden Stanton 🦀 Incineration
02 EL PolkaDot Patterson Oliver Notarobot 🗣️ Blessing (🗣️) Defection
03 EL Holden Stanton Nagomi Mcdaniel 👐 Blessing (🦀) Headhunter
04 25 Valentine Games Tot Fox 👐 Feedback
04 63 Combs Duende Finn James 🦀 Incineration
04 EL00 Oliver Notarobot Joshua Watson 🦀 Blessing (🦀) The Best Defense
04 EL01 Finn James Tillman Henderson 🦀 Blessing (🦀) Mutual Aid
05 EL00 Joshua Watson Axel Trololol 🔥 Blessing (🦀) The Plan? Pitch from the Plate
05 EL01 Nagomi Mcdaniel Holden Stanton 👐 Blessing (👐) Seduction
06 EL Holden Stanton Nagomi Mcdaniel 👐 Blessing (🦀) Headhunter
07 EL Oliver Notarobot Luis Acevedo 🎸 Blessing (🎸) Blind Date
09 64 Tillman Henderson Silvaire Roadhouse 🦀 Incineration
09 99 - Squid Galvanic 🦀 Postseason Birth
09 X Axel Trololol - 🥜 Subjection
10 99 - Jacoby Podcast 🦀 Postseason Birth
10 EL00 Nagomi Mcdaniel Evelton McBlase II 🏝️ Blessing (🏝️) People's Champion
10 EL01 Sutton Dreamy Baldwin Breadwinner 🏝️ Blessing (🏝️) People's Champion
10 EL02 Montgomery Bullock Bevan Underbuck 🏝️ Blessing (🏝️) People's Champion
An error in the election created Bontgomery Mullock, sent to the Lovers
12 EL03 Bevan Underbuck Jacoby Podcast 🦀 Will (🦀) Foreshadow
13 99 - Hercules Lincecum 🦀 Postseason Birth
13 EL00 Baldwin Breadwinner Logan Horseman 🚤 Will (🦀) Exchange
13 EL01 Evelton McBlase II - 🛠️ Will (🦀) Revoke
14 99 - Samothes Dembélé 🦀 Postseason Birth
14 EL00 Luis Acevedo Enid Marlow 🐌 Will (🐌) Exchange
14 EL01 Logan Horseman Baldwin Breadwinner 🚤 Will (🚤) Exchange
14 EL02 Baldwin Breadwinner Alyssa Harrell 🏝️ Will (🏝️) Exchange
14 EL03 Enid Marlow York Silk 🦀 Will (🦀) Plunder
14 EL04 Parker Parra Nagomi Mcdaniel 🌹 Will (🦀) Exchange
15 35 Forrest Best - 🦀 Redaction
15 99 - Lorcan Smaht 🦀 Postseason Birth
15 10400 Alyssa Harrell - 🦀 Redaction
15 10401 Nagomi Mcdaniel - 🦀 Redaction
15 EL00 Squid Galvanic - 🦀 Will (🦀) Move
15 EL01 York Silk Fish Summer 🗣️ Will (🗣️) Plunder
15 EL02 Brock Forbes Parker Parra 🌹 Will (🌹) Equivalent Exchange
15 EL03 Jacoby Podcast Luis Acevedo 🐌 Will (🐌) Equivalent Exchange
15 EL04 - Parker Meng 🚤 Blessing (🦀) Fringe Benefit
16 1 - Brisket Friendo 🍬 Attraction
16 EL00 Silvaire Roadhouse Chorby Soul 🌹 Will (🦀) Plunder
16 EL01 Brisket Friendo Alston Cerveza 🌞 Will (🦀) Foreshadow
16 EL02 Alston Cerveza - 🦀 Blessing (🦀) Time to Shine
17 1 Chorby Soul Trinity Smaht 🦀 Incineration
17 2 Luis Acevedo Jon Halifax 🦀 Incineration
17 77 Parker Parra Lorcan Smaht 🦀 Fax Machine
17 EL00 Fish Summer Montgomery Bullock 🔱 Will (🔱) Equivalent Exchange
17 EL01 Parker Meng Enid Marlow 🦀 Will (🦀) Foreshadow
18 42 Jon Halifax Parker Meng 🦀 Fax Machine
18 LS - Chorby Soul III 🦀 Gift Shop Chorby Soul, Collector's Edition
18 90 Chorby Soul III Zeruel Kramer 🦀 Incineration
18 99 - Samothes Thwompson 🦀 Postseason Birth
18 EL Montgomery Bullock - 🦀 Will (🦀) Move
19 62 Tot Fox Conner Haley 💋 Feedback
19 LS - Aldon Cashmoney IV 🦀 Gift Shop Aldon Cashmoney, Hitting Edition
19 91 Aldon Cashmoney IV Avila Guzman 🎸 Feedback
19 EL00 Parker Meng Jacoby Podcast 🐌 Will (🐌) Equivalent Exchange
19 EL01 Trinity Smaht Fran Beans 🍗 Will (🦀) Equivalent Exchange
20 5 Jacoby Podcast Kaz Fiasco 🥧 Feedback
20 8 Kaz Fiasco Montgomery Bullock 🦀 Fax Machine
20 88 Finn James Axel Campbell 🦀 Fax Machine
20 EL Pedro Davids Kaz Fiasco 🦀 Will (🦀) Swap
21 72 Axel Campbell Finn James 🦀 Fax Machine
21 99 - Ilhan Latch 🦀 Postseason Birth
21 EL00 - James Mora II 🦀 Will (🦀) Equivalent Exchange
21 EL01 Adalberto Tosser Silvaire Roadhouse 🌹 Will (🌹) Equivalent Exchange
21 EL02 Conner Haley Jessica Telephone 🥩 Will (🥩) Equivalent Exchange
21 EL03 Fran Beans Evelton McBlase II 🍗 Will (🍗) Equivalent Exchange
21 EL04 Evelton McBlase II - 📱 Roamin'
22 LS00 - Uncle Plasma III 🦀 Gift Shop Uncle Plasma, Mint Edition
22 LS01 - Liquid Friend II 🦀 Gift Shop Liquid Friend, Mint Edition
22 LS02 - New Megan Ito II 🦀 Gift Shop New Megan Ito, Trader Edition
22 86 Samothes Dembélé - 🏝️ Thieves Guild (🏝️)
22 96 Zeruel Kramer Pedro Davids 🦀 Voicemail
22 99 - Scruffs Sunkcost 🦀 Postseason Birth
22 108 Pedro Davids Jon Halifax 🦀 Voicemail
22 EL00 Silvaire Roadhouse - 🦀 Will (🦀) Move
22 EL01 Jon Halifax Michelle Sportsman 🍬 Will (🦀) Equivalent Exchange
22 EL02 Michelle Sportsman Fairwood Patchwork 🎸 Will (🍬) Equivalent Exchange
22 EL03 Jessica Telephone Herring Winfield 👟 Will (👟) Equivalent Exchange
22 EL04 Parker Parra - 🎸 Blessing (🎸) Gachapon
22 EL05 Liquid Friend II - Dust
22 EL06 James Mora II - Dust
22 EL07 New Megan Ito II - Dust
22 EL08 Uncle Plasma III - Dust
23 10 Fairwood Patchwork Pedro Davids 🦀 Voicemail
23 2400 Finn James Axel Campbell 🦀 Fax Machine
23 2401 Axel Campbell Finn James 🦀 Fax Machine
23 2402 - Grit Watson 🔥 Thieves Guild (🦀)
23 28 Alston Cerveza Axel Campbell 🦀 Voicemail
23 58 Montgomery Bullock Alston Cerveza 🦀 Fax Machine
23 77 Scruffs Sunkcost - 🥩 Thieves Guild (🥩)
23 87 Axel Campbell Zeruel Kramer 🦀 Voicemail
23 EL Grit Watson - 🌮 Blessing (🌮) Gachapon


Season Results

Season Wins Losses Notable Events
1 - Revival 38 61 A Humble Beginning. Crabs begin their journey as the least successful team in the Evil League, and the second least successful overall (falling just short of perennial loss champions the Tacos).
2 - 'The Discipline Era' begins 49 50 The Start of Something. Improved performance greatly after gaining 87-fingered pitcher PolkaDot Patterson. First team to reach a 20-inning game, versus the Jazz Hands. Lost Nora Perez as the team's first incineration.
3 - 'Peanut Plague/Uncertainty' 44 55 Gaining Ground. Lost PolkaDot Patterson in the election, receiving Oliver Notarobot in return. Spent most of the season in 4th or 5th in the Lawful Evil division but finished in a respectable 3rd.
4 - Feedback 52 47 A Setback. Missed the playoffs by one game after fading at the end of the season due to the loss of Valentine Games who was feedbacked for Tot Fox, and Combs Duende who was replaced by Finn James.
5 - Reverb 65 34 Ramping up. Finished with the league-best record after optimizing their staff (Notarobot to batter, James to pitcher) but lost in the first round of the playoffs due to a nervous and overeager lineup.
6 - Idols 80 19 The Greatest Team Ever (to date). After winning 4 blessings to improve the team by 6% overall, 17% in baserunning, and give 4 players a 20% boost, and then gaining star pitcher Axel Trololol the Crabs had unprecedented blaseball success, including a 21 game winning streak and completely sweeping the playoffs to win their first championship.
7 - Getting Shelled 67 32 An Omen. A strong Crabs team finished with the best record in both leagues, but lost to the San Francisco Lovers in the semifinal. This prevented the crabs from being targeted by the Champions in the Making blessing, which would steal three of the league champion's players, however, in an inter-team ambassadorship program the Crabs sent Oliver Notarobot to the Seattle Garages in exchange for Luis Acevedo.
8 - Rest In Violence 74 25 The Revenge of Crab. Decimating the season once again and running all the way to finals to block the Hades Tigers from ascension as the Crabs claimed champion status. In a repeat of Season 2, failed to claim any blessings despite having bid the highest in seven separate blessings, a result calculated by Crabs statisticians as an 8.5% chance critical failure.
9 - Forecast 71 28 The Great Toss. After a dominant regular season, the Crabs faced the Shoe Thieves in the ILS Championship. Crabs were up 2-0 before the Shoe Thieves turned things around. At game 5, Crabs were up the whole game, until Stu Trololol put down a three run homer in the ninth inning that won the Shoe Thieves the championship. Crabs missed their almost certain shot at ascension, but avoided the curses that followed Day X and won the "Fifth Base Bubble" blessing in the election.
10 - Backdraft 69 30 After a strong season and sweeping the first two rounds of the playoffs the Crabs met the Shoe Thieves for a rematch in the finals. On their third and final game of the series Tot Fox scored the 10th run and destroyed the Sun and Moon, which swallowed one of the Shoe thieves' Wins, leading to the serier ending at -1-3. After the game the Crabs faced off against the Shelled One's Pods in Day X, and were defeated in the bottom of the first inning. Regardless of their defeat, this third championship victory did trigger ascension and the Crabs were called up to the Big Leagues.
11 - Peace and Prosperity 1 98 The Big Leagues. The Crabs were obscured from sight only viewable through the Telescope at the start of the season. Though eventually located at Blaseball2, the crabs remain trapped in The Big Leagues and proceeded to loose 49 consecutive games. Their single victory in game 50 was followed by another 48 consecutive losses.
12 - The Expansion Era 0 0 Out of the Hole. While they did not participate in the season, the Crabs benefited from the Chicago Firefighters winning the Tag Team Pitching blessing in the Season 12 Elections, boosting every player's pitching by 10%. In addition, they received The Rack blessing, boosting defense by 15%. Unexpectedly they also gained the Fourth strike modification with 4% of the will vote, which lead to...
13 - Home Free 59 40 Welcome Back. The Crabs had a strong season, highlighting the potential of a low scoring team and a strong defense. finishing first in the Mild League, and sweeping the post season and ending with a victory against the "perennial loss champions" of old, the LA Unlimited Tacos. In the Season 13 Elections, the Crabs won the Rise and Grind and Unholey blessings, making Adalberto Tosser a Credit to the Team, and giving them the modification Unholey.
14 - The -ides 38 61 Same as it ever was. The Crabs finished 5th in their division matching their season 1 record. However, the Crabs won the mild card, sending them to the Internet Series where they won against the Boston Flowers, then ended their season with getting swept by the Canada Moist Talkers. In the election the Crabs were able to Infuse Tot Fox, and Exchange Crabs veteran Parker Parra for an old favourite Nagomi Mcdaniel. Finally to the surprise of many (including themselves) They also Plundered recently deceased York Silk from the Hall of Flame, sending Enid Marlow to the shadows. Whoops.
15 - Live Bait 71 28 Wax wings are delicate things. The Crabs found themselves the top in the league by total stars in all four categories. They learned the hard way how York Silk would pay off their cosmic debt, losing ace batter and based stealer Forrest Best to a bean from an unlikely source; but things were looking bright, with the team coming up just under their own record win rate. But it wasn't to be. With two of the leagues' biggest egos at the time at bat, the Crabs further suffered from numerous Consumer attacks; so many that they chewed up Nagomi Mcdaniel and Alyssa Harrell's last shreds of soulscream to zero, removing them from the lineup at the critical moment of the postseason and letting the Moist Talkers take them out of the running with a clean 3-0 sweep. In the election, the Crabs were systematically taken apart, losing York Silk, Brock Forbes, and Jacoby Podcast to various plunders and exchanges. With Kennedy Loser made haunted in an attempt to cure their flinch, they were practically gone themselves. However, thanks to Fringe Benefit, they were able to keep their lineup from shrinking so dramatically by recruiting Parker Meng. Thanks to going all in on Absolute Zero, the Crabs had practically circumnavigated the ever present flinch problem.
16 - Mass Production 44 55 After a staggering 8 roster changes since the start of the last season the Crabs were slow to recover, but they still managed to activate their Carcinization ability for the first time, and Silvaire Roadhouse was able to bat in the league's first attractor, Brisket Friendo. Missing the postseason, the Crabs enjoyed the downtime until the election, where they gained Alston Cerveza and send Friendo rocketing to the Hellmouth, but also lost Silvaire Roadhouse for a revived Chorby Soul. With their pitching still in shambles things were looking grim for the Crabs.
17 - Collections 43 56 Starting the season off with two eclipse games, Chorby Soul was incinerated by a rouge umpire, and their instability chained to Luis Acevedo who was incinerated in the next game. Their replacements Trinity Smaht and Jon Halifax took up their positions, with Smaht in particular spending a lot of time on base with inhabiting ghosts from Kennedy Loser. As the Crabs built their Fax machine, Parker Parra was exchanged for Lorcan Smaht who managed to party 5 times in the lateseason. In the election the Crabs were traded old friend Montgomery Bullock for Fish Summer, while they elected to swap Parker Meng into the shadows for the lone awaited Enid Marlow.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

For more on the Crabs' history, see Baltimore Crabs/History.
The original Baltimore Crabs were founded in ██52, and had an intricate relationship with the Mother Crab, though reports vary on what exactly it was. This peaked with the murder of the Old One by the people of Baltimore. Though details remain unclear to outsiders it is commonly agreed by Baltimorean's, including the original Baltimore Crabs team, that it "had to be done".

Members of the Crabs have said that they are driven to be the best blaseball players they can be, so that they may ascend to the gates of blaseball's pantheon and, repeated, "strangle the blaseball gods with [their] bare hands/claws." While they could not be reached for comment since their ascension and return, it is assumed that they achieved mixed results.

Players on the Baltimore Crabs, as well as the people of Baltimore often undergo a little understood process referred to as Carcinization; the process of a person turning, partially or fully, into a Crab. While occasionally this process can occur at birth, it is also often recorded later in life, or happening to inanimate objects or buildings in the area.

For a full season by season breakdown, see Baltimore Crabs/History.

Stadium

For more on the Crabs' stadium, see Crabitat.
The Crabs' home stadium is the Crabitat which is located on the edge of the Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore. From the outside of the stadium resembles a giant crab although reports of it's origins are scattered. When asked the people of Baltimore report it is the body of the Mother Crab, one of her chosen, the machine that was used to kill her or even a building that underwent Carcinization at a massive scale.

Crabs lineup player Tillman Henderson is on record as trying to get the name “Crustadium” to catch on, but he is also on record as conveniently slipping in a puddle of chummy water every time he mentions it to a reporter.

As of Season 17's Lateseason, the Crabs are now owners and proprietors of their own Hotel Motel, the Clawliday Inn.

Staff

The Baltimore Crabs and their stadium is managed and cared for by a collection of crabs, crab-like beings, and literal crabs. Among their hard working staff are:

  • Howard and Dwayne the Co-Managers, who were appointed by Mother Crab as a wedding day gift.
  • The Clawricle the Coach, who may possess the gift of prophecy, or be an ordinary crab. (or both)
  • Crab Scott the Mascot, who does not fear death, and harbors endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods.
  • Yurts Trunbo the Groundskeeper, who cares for the Crabitat and the memorial pearls for lost players.
  • Runolfio Peeper the Poet Laureate, who writes tributes for Crabs and former Crabs.

Allegiances

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at Crabs fan culture, see Baltimore Crabs/Fan Culture.

A novelty oversized foam crab claw, dubbed by fans as "The Big Claw," often hoisted in the stands at Crabs games

The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the Great Crab Reckoning while others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.

During Season 1-5 the team would celebrate their entry into Party Time with a communal viewing of the film adaptation of Crabs (musical) and fans have been known to join in by watching along at home.

Team Wide Chants

For a full list of cheers and player-specific cheers, see crabs/fan culture .

  • Claws up!
  • Claws up for Trans Rights!
  • Hard Times, Hard Shells
  • Let's go Crabs baby love da Crabs
  • "Ain't no laws when you have claws" and its popular variant, "Claw's the law"
  • TIME FOR CRAB
  • CRIME! (When a base is stolen, a common occurrence when Forrest Best is on base)
  • Crabs Bad! / Crabs Good! (Chanted in equal measures when the Crabs are under- and over-performing, respectively.)
  • Same as it ever was (Said whether winning or losing, due to the quantum superposition of Crabs Good / Crabs Bad.)
    • Shame as it ever was (variation on the former, for games ended in Shame.)
  • WE ARE FROM CHICLAWGO! (during games with team rival the Chicago Firefighters)

Fan Art

Want to see more Crabs fan work? Check it out at Baltimore Crabs/Fan Art!