The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team formerly in the Wild High division of the Wild League. They were a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1, and upon winning the Internet Series in Season 10, ascended. During Season 12, the Crabs returned and joined the Mild Low division.
For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Baltimore Crabs Players.
|01 EL||Winnie Hess||PolkaDot Patterson||🍬||Blessing (🦀)||Steal Best Hitter|
|02 25||Nora Perez||Holden Stanton||🦀||Incineration|
|02 EL||PolkaDot Patterson||Oliver Notarobot||🗣️||Blessing (🗣️)||Defection|
|03 EL||Holden Stanton||Nagomi Mcdaniel||👐||Blessing (🦀)||Headhunter|
|04 25||Valentine Games||Tot Fox||👐||Feedback|
|04 63||Combs Duende||Finn James||🦀||Incineration|
|04 EL00||Oliver Notarobot||Joshua Watson||🦀||Blessing (🦀)||The Best Defense|
|04 EL01||Finn James||Tillman Henderson||🦀||Blessing (🦀)||Mutual Aid|
|05 EL00||Joshua Watson||Axel Trololol||🔥||Blessing (🦀)||The Plan? Pitch from the Plate|
|05 EL01||Nagomi Mcdaniel||Holden Stanton||👐||Blessing (👐)||Seduction|
|06 EL||Holden Stanton||Nagomi Mcdaniel||👐||Blessing (🦀)||Headhunter|
|07 EL||Oliver Notarobot||Luis Acevedo||🎸||Blessing (🎸)||Blind Date|
|09 64||Tillman Henderson||Silvaire Roadhouse||🦀||Incineration|
|09 99||-||Squid Galvanic||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|09 X||Axel Trololol||-||🥜||Subjection|
|10 99||-||Jacoby Podcast||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|10 EL00||Nagomi Mcdaniel||Evelton McBlase II||🏝️||Blessing (🏝️)||People's Champion|
|10 EL01||Sutton Dreamy||Baldwin Breadwinner||🏝️||Blessing (🏝️)||People's Champion|
|10 EL02||Montgomery Bullock||Bevan Underbuck||🏝️||Blessing (🏝️)||People's Champion|
|An error in the election created Bontgomery Mullock, sent to the Lovers|
|12 EL03||Bevan Underbuck||Jacoby Podcast||🦀||Will (🦀)||Foreshadow|
|13 99||-||Hercules Lincecum||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|13 EL00||Baldwin Breadwinner||Logan Horseman||🚤||Will (🦀)||Exchange|
|13 EL01||Evelton McBlase II||-||🛠️||Will (🦀)||Revoke|
|14 99||-||Samothes Dembélé||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|14 EL00||Luis Acevedo||Enid Marlow||🐌||Will (🐌)||Exchange|
|14 EL01||Logan Horseman||Baldwin Breadwinner||🚤||Will (🚤)||Exchange|
|14 EL02||Baldwin Breadwinner||Alyssa Harrell||🏝️||Will (🏝️)||Exchange|
|14 EL03||Enid Marlow||York Silk||🦀||Will (🦀)||Plunder|
|14 EL04||Parker Parra||Nagomi Mcdaniel||🌹||Will (🦀)||Exchange|
|15 35||Forrest Best||-||🦀||Redaction|
|15 99||-||Lorcan Smaht||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|15 10400||Alyssa Harrell||-||🦀||Redaction|
|15 10401||Nagomi Mcdaniel||-||🦀||Redaction|
|15 EL00||Squid Galvanic||-||🦀||Will (🦀)||Move|
|15 EL01||York Silk||Fish Summer||🗣️||Will (🗣️)||Plunder|
|15 EL02||Brock Forbes||Parker Parra||🌹||Will (🌹)||Equivalent Exchange|
|15 EL03||Jacoby Podcast||Luis Acevedo||🐌||Will (🐌)||Equivalent Exchange|
|15 EL04||-||Parker Meng||🚤||Blessing (🦀)||Fringe Benefit|
|16 1||-||Brisket Friendo||🍬||Attraction|
|16 EL00||Silvaire Roadhouse||Chorby Soul||🌹||Will (🦀)||Plunder|
|16 EL01||Brisket Friendo||Alston Cerveza||🌞||Will (🦀)||Foreshadow|
|16 EL02||Alston Cerveza||-||🦀||Blessing (🦀)||Time to Shine|
|17 1||Chorby Soul||Trinity Smaht||🦀||Incineration|
|17 2||Luis Acevedo||Jon Halifax||🦀||Incineration|
|17 77||Parker Parra||Lorcan Smaht||🦀||Fax Machine|
|17 EL00||Fish Summer||Montgomery Bullock||🔱||Will (🔱)||Equivalent Exchange|
|17 EL01||Parker Meng||Enid Marlow||🦀||Will (🦀)||Foreshadow|
|18 42||Jon Halifax||Parker Meng||🦀||Fax Machine|
|18 LS||-||Chorby Soul III||🦀||Gift Shop||Chorby Soul, Collector's Edition|
|18 90||Chorby Soul III||Zeruel Kramer||🦀||Incineration|
|18 99||-||Samothes Thwompson||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|18 EL||Montgomery Bullock||-||🦀||Will (🦀)||Move|
|19 62||Tot Fox||Conner Haley||💋||Feedback|
|19 LS||-||Aldon Cashmoney IV||🦀||Gift Shop||Aldon Cashmoney, Hitting Edition|
|19 91||Aldon Cashmoney IV||Avila Guzman||🎸||Feedback|
|19 EL00||Parker Meng||Jacoby Podcast||🐌||Will (🐌)||Equivalent Exchange|
|19 EL01||Trinity Smaht||Fran Beans||🍗||Will (🦀)||Equivalent Exchange|
|20 5||Jacoby Podcast||Kaz Fiasco||🥧||Feedback|
|20 8||Kaz Fiasco||Montgomery Bullock||🦀||Fax Machine|
|20 88||Finn James||Axel Campbell||🦀||Fax Machine|
|20 EL||Pedro Davids||Kaz Fiasco||🦀||Will (🦀)||Swap|
|21 72||Axel Campbell||Finn James||🦀||Fax Machine|
|21 99||-||Ilhan Latch||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|21 EL00||-||James Mora II||🦀||Will (🦀)||Equivalent Exchange|
|21 EL01||Adalberto Tosser||Silvaire Roadhouse||🌹||Will (🌹)||Equivalent Exchange|
|21 EL02||Conner Haley||Jessica Telephone||🥩||Will (🥩)||Equivalent Exchange|
|21 EL03||Fran Beans||Evelton McBlase II||🍗||Will (🍗)||Equivalent Exchange|
|21 EL04||Evelton McBlase II||-||📱||Roamin'|
|22 LS00||-||Uncle Plasma III||🦀||Gift Shop||Uncle Plasma, Mint Edition|
|22 LS01||-||Liquid Friend II||🦀||Gift Shop||Liquid Friend, Mint Edition|
|22 LS02||-||New Megan Ito II||🦀||Gift Shop||New Megan Ito, Trader Edition|
|22 86||Samothes Dembélé||-||🏝️||Thieves Guild (🏝️)|
|22 96||Zeruel Kramer||Pedro Davids||🦀||Voicemail|
|22 99||-||Scruffs Sunkcost||🦀||Postseason Birth|
|22 108||Pedro Davids||Jon Halifax||🦀||Voicemail|
|22 EL00||Silvaire Roadhouse||-||🦀||Will (🦀)||Move|
|22 EL01||Jon Halifax||Michelle Sportsman||🍬||Will (🦀)||Equivalent Exchange|
|22 EL02||Michelle Sportsman||Fairwood Patchwork||🎸||Will (🍬)||Equivalent Exchange|
|22 EL03||Jessica Telephone||Herring Winfield||👟||Will (👟)||Equivalent Exchange|
|22 EL04||Parker Parra||-||🎸||Blessing (🎸)||Gachapon|
|22 EL05||Liquid Friend II||-||Dust|
|22 EL06||James Mora II||-||Dust|
|22 EL07||New Megan Ito II||-||Dust|
|22 EL08||Uncle Plasma III||-||Dust|
|23 10||Fairwood Patchwork||Pedro Davids||🦀||Voicemail|
|23 2400||Finn James||Axel Campbell||🦀||Fax Machine|
|23 2401||Axel Campbell||Finn James||🦀||Fax Machine|
|23 2402||-||Grit Watson||🔥||Thieves Guild (🦀)|
|23 28||Alston Cerveza||Axel Campbell||🦀||Voicemail|
|23 58||Montgomery Bullock||Alston Cerveza||🦀||Fax Machine|
|23 77||Scruffs Sunkcost||-||🥩||Thieves Guild (🥩)|
|23 87||Axel Campbell||Zeruel Kramer||🦀||Voicemail|
|23 EL||Grit Watson||-||🌮||Blessing (🌮)||Gachapon|
|1 - Revival||38||61||A Humble Beginning. Crabs begin their journey as the least successful team in the Evil League, and the second least successful overall (falling just short of perennial loss champions the Tacos).|
|2 - 'The Discipline Era' begins||49||50||The Start of Something. Improved performance greatly after gaining 87-fingered pitcher PolkaDot Patterson. First team to reach a 20-inning game, versus the Jazz Hands. Lost Nora Perez as the team's first incineration.|
|3 - 'Peanut Plague/Uncertainty'||44||55||Gaining Ground. Lost PolkaDot Patterson in the election, receiving Oliver Notarobot in return. Spent most of the season in 4th or 5th in the Lawful Evil division but finished in a respectable 3rd.|
|4 - Feedback||52||47||A Setback. Missed the playoffs by one game after fading at the end of the season due to the loss of Valentine Games who was feedbacked for Tot Fox, and Combs Duende who was replaced by Finn James.|
|5 - Reverb||65||34||Ramping up. Finished with the league-best record after optimizing their staff (Notarobot to batter, James to pitcher) but lost in the first round of the playoffs due to a nervous and overeager lineup.|
|6 - Idols||80||19||The Greatest Team Ever (to date). After winning 4 blessings to improve the team by 6% overall, 17% in baserunning, and give 4 players a 20% boost, and then gaining star pitcher Axel Trololol the Crabs had unprecedented blaseball success, including a 21 game winning streak and completely sweeping the playoffs to win their first championship.|
|7 - Getting Shelled||67||32||An Omen. A strong Crabs team finished with the best record in both leagues, but lost to the San Francisco Lovers in the semifinal. This prevented the crabs from being targeted by the Champions in the Making blessing, which would steal three of the league champion's players, however, in an inter-team ambassadorship program the Crabs sent Oliver Notarobot to the Seattle Garages in exchange for Luis Acevedo.|
|8 - Rest In Violence||74||25||The Revenge of Crab. Decimating the season once again and running all the way to finals to block the Hades Tigers from ascension as the Crabs claimed champion status. In a repeat of Season 2, failed to claim any blessings despite having bid the highest in seven separate blessings, a result calculated by Crabs statisticians as an 8.5% chance critical failure.|
|9 - Forecast||71||28||The Great Toss. After a dominant regular season, the Crabs faced the Shoe Thieves in the ILS Championship. Crabs were up 2-0 before the Shoe Thieves turned things around. At game 5, Crabs were up the whole game, until Stu Trololol put down a three run homer in the ninth inning that won the Shoe Thieves the championship. Crabs missed their almost certain shot at ascension, but avoided the curses that followed Day X and won the "Fifth Base Bubble" blessing in the election.|
|10 - Backdraft||69||30||After a strong season and sweeping the first two rounds of the playoffs the Crabs met the Shoe Thieves for a rematch in the finals. On their third and final game of the series Tot Fox scored the 10th run and destroyed the Sun and Moon, which swallowed one of the Shoe thieves' Wins, leading to the serier ending at -1-3. After the game the Crabs faced off against the Shelled One's Pods in Day X, and were defeated in the bottom of the first inning. Regardless of their defeat, this third championship victory did trigger ascension and the Crabs were called up to the Big Leagues.|
|11 - Peace and Prosperity||1||98||The Big Leagues. The Crabs were obscured from sight only viewable through the Telescope at the start of the season. Though eventually located at Blaseball2, the crabs remain trapped in The Big Leagues and proceeded to loose 49 consecutive games. Their single victory in game 50 was followed by another 48 consecutive losses.|
|12 - The Expansion Era||0||0||Out of the Hole. While they did not participate in the season, the Crabs benefited from the Chicago Firefighters winning the Tag Team Pitching blessing in the Season 12 Elections, boosting every player's pitching by 10%. In addition, they received The Rack blessing, boosting defense by 15%. Unexpectedly they also gained the Fourth strike modification with 4% of the will vote, which lead to...|
|13 - Home Free||59||40||Welcome Back. The Crabs had a strong season, highlighting the potential of a low scoring team and a strong defense. finishing first in the Mild League, and sweeping the post season and ending with a victory against the "perennial loss champions" of old, the LA Unlimited Tacos. In the Season 13 Elections, the Crabs won the Rise and Grind and Unholey blessings, making Adalberto Tosser a Credit to the Team, and giving them the modification Unholey.|
|14 - The -ides||38||61||Same as it ever was. The Crabs finished 5th in their division matching their season 1 record. However, the Crabs won the mild card, sending them to the Internet Series where they won against the Boston Flowers, then ended their season with getting swept by the Canada Moist Talkers. In the election the Crabs were able to Infuse Tot Fox, and Exchange Crabs veteran Parker Parra for an old favourite Nagomi Mcdaniel. Finally to the surprise of many (including themselves) They also Plundered recently deceased York Silk from the Hall of Flame, sending Enid Marlow to the shadows. Whoops.|
|15 - Live Bait||71||28||Wax wings are delicate things. The Crabs found themselves the top in the league by total stars in all four categories. They learned the hard way how York Silk would pay off their cosmic debt, losing ace batter and based stealer Forrest Best to a bean from an unlikely source; but things were looking bright, with the team coming up just under their own record win rate. But it wasn't to be. With two of the leagues' biggest egos at the time at bat, the Crabs further suffered from numerous Consumer attacks; so many that they chewed up Nagomi Mcdaniel and Alyssa Harrell's last shreds of soulscream to zero, removing them from the lineup at the critical moment of the postseason and letting the Moist Talkers take them out of the running with a clean 3-0 sweep. In the election, the Crabs were systematically taken apart, losing York Silk, Brock Forbes, and Jacoby Podcast to various plunders and exchanges. With Kennedy Loser made haunted in an attempt to cure their flinch, they were practically gone themselves. However, thanks to Fringe Benefit, they were able to keep their lineup from shrinking so dramatically by recruiting Parker Meng. Thanks to going all in on Absolute Zero, the Crabs had practically circumnavigated the ever present flinch problem.|
|16 - Mass Production||44||55||After a staggering 8 roster changes since the start of the last season the Crabs were slow to recover, but they still managed to activate their Carcinization ability for the first time, and Silvaire Roadhouse was able to bat in the league's first attractor, Brisket Friendo. Missing the postseason, the Crabs enjoyed the downtime until the election, where they gained Alston Cerveza and send Friendo rocketing to the Hellmouth, but also lost Silvaire Roadhouse for a revived Chorby Soul. With their pitching still in shambles things were looking grim for the Crabs.|
|17 - Collections||43||56||Starting the season off with two eclipse games, Chorby Soul was incinerated by a rouge umpire, and their instability chained to Luis Acevedo who was incinerated in the next game. Their replacements Trinity Smaht and Jon Halifax took up their positions, with Smaht in particular spending a lot of time on base with inhabiting ghosts from Kennedy Loser. As the Crabs built their Fax machine, Parker Parra was exchanged for Lorcan Smaht who managed to party 5 times in the lateseason. In the election the Crabs were traded old friend Montgomery Bullock for Fish Summer, while they elected to swap Parker Meng into the shadows for the lone awaited Enid Marlow.|
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For more on the Crabs' history, see Baltimore Crabs/History.
The original Baltimore Crabs were founded in ██52, and had an intricate relationship with the Mother Crab, though reports vary on what exactly it was. This peaked with the murder of the Old One by the people of Baltimore. Though details remain unclear to outsiders it is commonly agreed by Baltimorean's, including the original Baltimore Crabs team, that it "had to be done".
Members of the Crabs have said that they are driven to be the best blaseball players they can be, so that they may ascend to the gates of blaseball's pantheon and, repeated, "strangle the blaseball gods with [their] bare hands/claws." While they could not be reached for comment since their ascension and return, it is assumed that they achieved mixed results.
Players on the Baltimore Crabs, as well as the people of Baltimore often undergo a little understood process referred to as Carcinization; the process of a person turning, partially or fully, into a Crab. While occasionally this process can occur at birth, it is also often recorded later in life, or happening to inanimate objects or buildings in the area.
For a full season by season breakdown, see Baltimore Crabs/History.
For more on the Crabs' stadium, see Crabitat.
The Crabs' home stadium is the Crabitat which is located on the edge of the Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore. From the outside of the stadium resembles a giant crab although reports of it's origins are scattered. When asked the people of Baltimore report it is the body of the Mother Crab, one of her chosen, the machine that was used to kill her or even a building that underwent Carcinization at a massive scale.
Crabs lineup player Tillman Henderson is on record as trying to get the name “Crustadium” to catch on, but he is also on record as conveniently slipping in a puddle of chummy water every time he mentions it to a reporter.
As of Season 17's Lateseason, the Crabs are now owners and proprietors of their own Hotel Motel, the Clawliday Inn.
The Baltimore Crabs and their stadium is managed and cared for by a collection of crabs, crab-like beings, and literal crabs. Among their hard working staff are:
- Howard and Dwayne the Co-Managers, who were appointed by Mother Crab as a wedding day gift.
- The Clawricle the Coach, who may possess the gift of prophecy, or be an ordinary crab. (or both)
- Crab Scott the Mascot, who does not fear death, and harbors endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods.
- Yurts Trunbo the Groundskeeper, who cares for the Crabitat and the memorial pearls for lost players.
- Runolfio Peeper the Poet Laureate, who writes tributes for Crabs and former Crabs.
- The Seattle Garages, for their shared love of deicide.
- The Chicago Firefighters, from a bond forged in blood after a series of twelve back-to-back games in Season 8. This alliance is known as Chiclawgo.
For a more in-depth look at Crabs fan culture, see Baltimore Crabs/Fan Culture.
The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the Great Crab Reckoning while others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.
Team Wide Chants
For a full list of cheers and player-specific cheers, see crabs/fan culture .
- Claws up!
- Claws up for Trans Rights!
- Hard Times, Hard Shells
- Let's go Crabs baby love da Crabs
- "Ain't no laws when you have claws" and its popular variant, "Claw's the law"
- TIME FOR CRAB
- CRIME! (When a base is stolen, a common occurrence when Forrest Best is on base)
- Crabs Bad! / Crabs Good! (Chanted in equal measures when the Crabs are under- and over-performing, respectively.)
- Same as it ever was (Said whether winning or losing, due to the quantum superposition of Crabs Good / Crabs Bad.)
- Shame as it ever was (variation on the former, for games ended in Shame.)
- WE ARE FROM CHICLAWGO! (during games with team rival the Chicago Firefighters)
Want to see more Crabs fan work? Check it out at Baltimore Crabs/Fan Art!
A banner of the Season 6 finals by @Fairchart
A selection of the Crab's Season 7 lineup. Art by @CDPNhyphenK
The season 8 team, Art by @ratgills
A banner of the Season 8 finals by @Fairchart
The Crabs celebrating their Season 8 championship victory. Sketch by @ratgills
The Crabs before Season 10's ascension by @ratgills
A postcard from Blaseball2 in Season 11 - Art by @ratgills
WE'RE FAST NOW (OR, AN OVERTURE FOR ASCENSION) by Jake Loranger
UR TOO SLOW by 100 Crabs
Pep Crab a classic Crabs cheer
A crab drawing. by @legallyjorts
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4|
|Ballpark||Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark|
|Staff||Crab Scott · Howard and Dwayne · Yurts Trunbo · The Clawricle · Runolfio Peeper|
|Places||Tower of Crabylon · Clawliday Inn|
|History||Baltimore Crabs History · The Olde One · Public Transclawtation System · Crustallion|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|