Baltimore Crabs (Gamma 4)

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This page is about an alternate universe Short Circuits Team. For the mainline Team, see the Baltimore Crabs.

The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team in the Downtempo Ballad division of the Downtempo Conference. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Gamma 4, Season 1.


Lineup Rotation
  • Ryan Spoony
  • Jakobe Bautista
  • Connor Magpie
  • Allen Dawson
  • Carin Babitt
  • Vida Ocean
  • Hester Kirchner

Former Players




  • Bentley Finnegan (Became a  Static Charge; Charge Election)

Season Results

Gamma 2 Season 1

66-96 record


The Crabs throw a Mixer

  • Throw an awkward social to boost your Unthwackability, Omniscience, and Overpowerment.
  • This Filing - 75% of Crabs Votes

The Crabs chose their Guest of Honor

  • Bentley Finnegan became the Life of the Party.
  • +  Life of the Party
  • This Filing - 78% of Crabs Votes

Electric Blood

  • Silas Jeffers listened to Blood Jams Vol. II and gained the Electric Blood Type.
    • The Crabs had 13% of the Votes
    • Highest Bidder - Garages with 20%

The Crabs Discharged Bentley Finnegan.

  • Bentley Finnegan became a static charge
  • +  Static

This Filing - 93% of Crabs Votes

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Dying God of Baltimore

Baltimore was once home to the Olde One, a giant crab-god of Chesapeake Bay, but many years ago a group of young people in the city banded together to put an end to her reign of terror - striking a killing blow to the old god. Killing a god however is not a simple thing, and it takes a very long time for something that powerful to truly be dead. Over the next 25 years the city watches her become weaker and weaker and sees her rage temper out as she accepts what is to come. The year of Season 1 of Gamma 4, she is due to finally pass - and all of the ones who struck that blow return to the city to see her end.

With the Olde One due to finally pass at the Midseason Fiesta the atmosphere of the City is a mix between joy, resignation, and fear. The city has never been without it's god before - and who knows what will be left without her.

The Baltimore Crabs

The Baltimore Crabs consist of a wide array of players with their own varied and complicated relationships with the Olde One and the city itself. Many of the players participated in the act of killing the Olde One, and left the city when she began to lash out against them in her dying years. Others stood firm and stayed to protect the people of Baltimore. Others have never met the Olde One, and are simply here to see a god die. But blaseball is a dangerous splort, and even after surviving killing a god, Thiago Robbie's death shook the others returning to Baltimore

When the Midseason Fiesta finally began emotions were high and timelines were flexible and unclear. There are some reports that Bentley Finnegan and Thomas John slipped between time and brought a new god back with them, but no one in the city would be willing to confirm exactly what happened. If you were they you know - if you weren't then you don't need to know. It had to be done.

At the end of the season it was Bentley Finnegan, the conflicted liberator of the Olde One, who was sent into the Microphone to be Charged.

Fan Works