Parker Meng is a player for the Chicago Firefighters, and has been with the team since Season 1, Day 30. Meng has previously played for the San Francisco Lovers, Miami Dale, Baltimore Crabs, and Ohio Worms.
Official League Records
On Season β5, Day 8, the Lovers' rotation was shuffled in the Reverb while Meng was pitching, and due to her new place in the rotation she also pitched the next game, making Meng the first pitcher in ILB history to pitch two consecutive games.
Meng was traded to the Miami Dale in exchange for Cannonball Sports during the Season β15 elections via the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process, then was immediately recruited to the Baltimore Crabs via the Fringe Benefit blessing.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
The Two Parker Mengs
At the end of season 4, the Parker Meng who originally joined the San Francisco Lovers — Parker Meng Prime — was swapped with the Parker Meng from another universe, the Tough Love Dimension. Tough Love Parker Meng — also called "Alt Parker", "Suave Parker", or "Mirror Parker" — is the Parker Meng currently playing on the Lovers.
Meng was born in San Francisco in the Tough Love Dimension. Confident and athletic, she started forming a sprawling polycule in college, starting with her crush Helga Moreno. After college, she and a friend with their own large polycule, the Tough Lover Dimension's version of Knight Triumphant, agreed to a friendly (though fiercely contested) blaseball game between their two polycules. Meng's polycule won, but the players found the game so exciting they combined to form a professional team., with Meng as captain. The resulting team — the Tough Lovers — was dominant in their dimension's Internet Blaseball League, winning three championships in the league's first four seasons.
Upon arriving in our reality, "Mirror Parker" (so-called specifically because she's constantly wearing a pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses) accepted Triumphant's leadership of the team but told them she was coming for their spot. The Tough Lovers had a much more competitive ethos than the Lovers from this universe, embodied by Meng. When she first arrived, she pressured other Lovers, notably Percival Wheeler, into stricter training regimens and a different, more cutthroat on field attitude, sparking frequent disagreements with Triumphant.
This conflict came to a head in the season 5 playoffs; when Milo Brown started giving up runs in game five of the semifinals, Meng ultimately agreed with Triumphant that supporting him was more important than winning the game at any cost. Since then, Meng has remained fiercely competitive but been more easy-going with her teammates.
The Mantle of a Captain
After spending so long butting heads with Knight Triumphant, Meng found herself at a loss in their absence - not that she would ever admit it. She was quick to step into the captain role when the team needed it, but after several less-than-stellar seasons as the solo-captain of the team she realized that she wasn’t satisfied with this being the end to her story. After 10 seasons with the San Francisco Lovers Meng decided that if she wanted to move up in the world of blaseball that meant moving on from the Lovers, and Meng had just the team in mind for her move.
A Change of Climate
Meng was originally slated to be traded to the Miami Dale, however upon exiting the plane she took in the humidity of the city and decided that there were better opportunities for her career. She does however own a pair of shutter shades from her experience that were gifted to her by Logan Horseman in the airport.
Meng on the Crabs
Still feeling the loss of their season 14 postseason, Meng set her sights on the 4 time championship winners, and the first ILB team to ascend since the return - the Baltimore Crabs. Little did she realize that the Crabs were not the same team she remembered from the Discipline era. The Crabs she found upon being traded however was fresh off of a consumer attack, and still mourning the losses of Nagomi McDaniel, Alyssa Harrell, Jacoby Podcast, York Silk and Brock Forbes. Likewise, the Crab’s captains were now redacted, traded, and haunted - leaving a hole in a team that was struggling to recover.
It was Pedro Davids that reached out to Meng first, recruiting both her and teammate Silvaire Roadhouse to assist in captaining the team while Kennedy Loser recovered. They three of them were quick to get along well, though after a few tense arguments Meng and Davids did agree to “duke it out in a parking lot for a bit” at Roadhouse’s request. This was surprisingly effective, and Davids quickly grew to appreciate Meng’s experience as the three worked in tandem. Through her next season she was on guard for Baltimore's signature Carcinization but was surprised to find she felt nothing. Roadhouse assured her that she would know when it was time, and not to worry too much about it while Davids refuted several of her questions with “That’s not how that works. I’ll send you my paper on it.”
Shadows and Deals
In season 17 when Roadhouse was left to the Boston Flowers due to the necromancy of Chorby Soul and Pedro Davids was swept elsewhere once again Meng braced herself to take the lead. It was however not to be - and the team was quick to step in. It wasn’t one person who was responsible for the team, and no one on the team was willing to ask her to do that after seeing Kennedy Loser dealing with that fallout. Meng watched as the team took up their own positions to help keep things running, and she herself started to work on the team’s coordination for defensive shifts, citing that she wasn’t just good at playing blaseball, she was good at blaseball.
This came to a head during discussions of the Crab’s season 18 strategy. Meng suggested that they bench her for Enid Marlow who had been in the Crab’s shadows since season 14. With the addition of the fax machine as well as Jon Halifax’s pitching record - the team should be able to pull her into the rotation. While the team was less eager to bench her, Meng was surprised to find how much this suggestion appealed to her as she both missed getting to pitch and she found she trusted the Crabs to make sure she got out again, one way or another. When the election passed, Meng was moved into the Crabs shadows, and stood waiting on the sidelines for her chance to pitch again.
In the shadows she reunited with the other Parker, Parker Parra who had taken great pleasure in riling up Meng when they were pitching, even going so far as to pitch a whole inning with their eyes closed just for fun. However Meng found herself warming up to the troublemaker in the shadows, and they were the first one who helped Meng as she first started to see signs of her carcinization. Now Meng bides her time in the shadows, waiting for the first activation of the Fax Machine to call her up to play. Finn James in particular has reported being “terrified that Meng is going to show up and drag me into the shadows as soon as I mess up. Please take Jon first.”
- After giving up a few high-profile home runs to mir, Meng considers Baby Triumphant her nemesis. She believes mi has some secret knowledge about her curveball that renders it ineffective against mir.
- Meng's signature pitch, the Parallel Parker, is a breaking called so-called because, as Meng puts it, "I can slide it on in to any spot in the strike zone."
- Meng coaches a blittle league blaseball team, the Poly Youth Good Friends, a post she inherited from Parker Prime.
|Players||Batters||Rosales Darkness · Frankie Incarnate · Nerd Pacheco · Willem Governor · Shaquille Torres · Yosh Carpenter · Ralph Vincent · Audrey Leonard · Lupita Juice · Torus McGhee · Xandra Pancakes · Parker Meng · Balina Erock · Newton Underbuck|
|Pitchers||Parker Parra · Francisco Object · Ji-Eun Loubert · Karato Rangel · Don Elliott|
|Shadows||Currently hidden or unavailable.|
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4|
|Ballpark||The Fire Safety Awareness Center|
|Staff||The Firefighter · Betsy · Chicago Firefighters' Third Base Coach · The Axeman|
|Places||Chicago · The Blean|
|History||Chicago Firefighters' History · Great Chicago Blaseball Fire · Royal Crown Malort|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|We Are From Chicago|