Gabriel Griffith

From Blaseball Wiki

Gabriel Griffith is a lineup player for the Chicago Firefighters, and has been with the team since the Season 20 elections. Griffith has played for the Dallas Steaks, San Francisco Lovers, Hades Tigers, and Hawai'i Fridays.

Official League Records

Griffith joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Dallas Steaks with the Return of Blaseball.

On Day 85 of Season 3, Griffith pitched an Immaculate Inning against the Los Angeles Tacos, striking out Moses Simmons, Basilio Preston, and Mcdowell Sasquatch with nine pitches in the ninth inning. The Steaks went on to lose the game 3-2.

On Season 9 Day 69, Griffith was exchanged to the Hawai'i Fridays due to Feedback. Griffith was replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker.

During the Coffee Cup, Griffith played for Cream & Sugar United as a pitcher.

On Season 13 Day 79, Griffith was exchanged to the San Francisco Lovers due to Feedback. Griffith was replaced by Yosh Carpenter.

Griffith was traded to the Hades Tigers in exchange for NaN during the Season 14 elections via the Tigers' Exchange will. They were then traded to the Chicago Firefighters in exchange for Dunlap Figueroa via the Firefighters' Exchange will.

Griffith was traded to the Hawai'i Fridays in exchange for Alyssa Harrell during the Season 19 elections via the Fridays' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.

Griffith was traded to the Chicago Firefighters in exchange for Alyssa Harrell during the Season 20 elections via the Firefighters' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season 22, Day 21, Griffith retreated to the Firefighters' Shadows in exchange for Zi Sliders as a result of The Fire Safety Awareness Center's Fax Machine. On Day 24, Griffith joined the Firefighers' lineup in exchange for Clare Mccall at The Fire Safety Awareness Center via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season 22 elections, Griffith gained the Negative modification as a result of the Immovable Object blessing.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Background

Gabriel "GG" Griffith (he/they) was the Steaks' resident warhorse, despite not possessing a drop of equine blood. Probably. Having served with the Steaks since the team's founding, he was a rock of consistency in a shifting lineup. His uniformity on the field is sharp contrast to rampant misinformation and slander about the rest of his life.

Griffith has been cursed (or blessed) by capricious gods, but the nature of the curse (or blessing) is disputed. Some experts argue he is a man granted the head of an eagle, while others contend he is an eagle given the body of a man. Recent theories have circulated at Braum's that he's something else entirely, wearing a reclaimed mascot suit out of a misplaced sense of duty. Preliminary haruspecy funded by the Grillers Benevolent Association has been inconclusive but delicious.

Gabriel Griffith is known throughout the Internet Blaseball League for his paramount splortsmanship (or possibly his unrestrained arrogance). This controversy began with his habit of telling his opponents "GG" after games. One popular theory suggests Griffith is repeating his initials rather than wishing them a good game. Likewise, his habit of appearing unprompted at fan cookouts is divisive. For every Grilldad pleased to learn the subtle science of the sizzle from a master, one would prefer to flip some burgs without all the play-by-play. Likewise, it's rare to see an autographed "King of the Grill" apron containing Griffith's name where it isn't obscuring someone else.

Feedback to the Fridays

After being swapped with Sixpack Dogwalker in Season 9, Griffith was welcomed with open arms and high vibes, even though the Fridays were disappointed see their dogs depart for a tour of the mainland. At the Fridays' team barbecue that evening, players were heard whispering and speculating about Griffith's degree of birdness, hoping Fletcher Yamamoto would take kindly to an ambiguously avian teammate. Stevenson Heat was overheard saying that "sometimes you just have to give away six dogs to get somewhere between 0 and 1 bird. That's a deal I'll take any Friday of the week."

Seeing the lack of consistent mascot, when not pitching, Griffith has opted to act as the Fridays' mascot. Most fans and players have enjoyed the antics of Griffith as he runs around the stands. Fridays Captain Fletcher Yamamoto noted in one post game interview that he was "not [tweet] amused."

The official Bird Count of the Hawai'i Fridays is in dispute after Griffith's arrival. While some fans have a generous estimate of exactly 2 birds, the Fridays list their Bird Count as 1.5±0.5 bird(s) to avoid legal trouble with other teams. The existence of birds whose quantities are non-integers, intervals, or statistical margins of error would also have far-reaching implications for the concept of legal birdhood. While many in the league remain skeptical, the Fridays welcome birds of all numbers to their team, including negative birds, imaginary birds, complex birds, transfinite/infinitesimal birds, and birds whose functions collapse when an observer attempts measurement.

Controversies

  • To perceive Griffith is to alter his state of being at any point in time and space. The effect on his curveball has yet to be determined.
  • The divine community refuses to respond to requests for information pertaining to Griffith's background. This is suspicious, in and of itself. Usually they won't stop talking about themselves.

Fan Works