Baltimore Crabs (Gamma 2)

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This page is about an alternate universe Short Circuits Team. For the mainline Team, see the Baltimore Crabs.

The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team in the Liquid Evil division of the Liquid Conference. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Gamma 2, Season 1.


Lineup Rotation
  • Duncan Lavender
  • Sasha Dropov
  • Ilhan Libros
  • Florin Beanbag
  • Moth Anice
  • Jacob Sutton
  • Sadie Faucet
  • Jeffrey Regular
  • Lawyer Hendrix

Former Players



  • Grapefruit Walnut (Became a  Static Charge; Season 2 Election)

Season Results

Gamma 2 Season 1

55-44 record, 9-1 Postseason Record
With their debut in the Short Circuits, the Baltimore Crabs maintained their reputation for fierce competition by winning the first ever Internet Series championship despite barely making the post season. Despite an early loss of excellent pitcher Emily Friendo, the team made a strong recovery with Wanda Jenkins taking Friendo's place on the Rotation. To everyone's surprise however, it was noted subpar pitcher Florian Yuniesky who came through with a total of three postseasons wins and brought the Crabs to their Championship win.


In the Election the Crabs won:

  • The Strike Blood Distortion which gave Grapefruit Walnut Fourth Strike as a permanent modification.
  • The More Fingers Amplification which boosted the pitching of the Crabs' rotation.

Gamma 2 Season 2

58-41 record, 0-2 Postseason Record
Despite a stronger season record, the Crabs struggled to repeat their Season 1 victory and were knocked out of the postseason in the very first round.


Is the Election the Crabs won:

  • The Charge Will which discharged Grapefruit Walnut, removing them from the roster. Walnut became  Static as a result.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Missing God of Baltimore

Baltimore was once home to the Olde One, a giant crab-god of the Chesapeake Bay, but many years ago she vanished without a trace and never returned. Some of her followers are old enough to remember her, though many in the bay have lived without her their whole lives and know only the stories of who she once was to her people and her city. As the Baltimore Crabs begin their season, they do so with a missing god.

The Baltimore Crabs

The Baltimore Crabs consist of a wide array of players with their own complicated relationships to their missing god. Some are eagerly awaiting her return, trusting that she will be back for her followers, others are betrayed by a life given up in service to her for nothing, and others still pledge themselves to an idealized version of who she might have been, uncaring of how that matches the reality of the god herself. There are others who are less concerned with a God who may or may not exist and dedicate themselves to other pursuits such as dancing, trains, poetry, and time travel. They mourn the loss of Emily Friendo together using their first season as a Funeral Game in her honour.

At the end of Season 2 it is Grapefruit Walnut, the last paladin of the Olde One, who is sent into the Microphone to be Charged.

Fan Works