Reese Clark

From Blaseball Wiki

Reese Clark is a lineup player for the Houston Spies, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

During the Season 9 election, Clark received the Fire Eater modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Eclipse decree.

During the Coffee Cup, Clark played for Cream & Sugar United as a lineup player.

History

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Reese Clark's primary physical trait is in fact their complete lack of a primary physical trait—where one might expect to find face and facial features, Clark instead has a stretch of perfectly smooth skin. There is no evidence of a skull beneath this face, but, thanks to modern prosthetic technology, Clark has access to a wide array of plastic facial features and accessories allowing them to customize their appearance to their heart's content. Clark regularly assures Blaseball fans that this capability will never be used for any form of sneaking, blending in, deception or other espionage-related acts.

As part of an effort to improve cultural recognition of facelessness, Clark allowed their visage to be used as the basis for a line of vegetable-themed children's toys which are similarly featureless and can be decorated with plastic facial features. Clark donates all proceeds from the use of their likeness to a school for faceless children.

This has not shielded Clark from some controversy, however, as rumor has it that their condition has led them to engage in what some consider unsplortsmanlike behavior—"losing" eyes and ears in opposing teams' dugouts, for example, as well as changing face parts on the field in order to impersonate other players.

Rival teams may apply the term "unsplortsmanlike" to Clark's behavior, but their teammates insist the reality is quite different. Clark is known as the team prankster, frequently surprising visitors and guests with questions such as "Do I have something in my teeth?" before presenting their blank face to see how guests respond. Clark typically follows this goof up with a good-natured tweak of the other person's nose and a wink. Though they do not have visible eyes, everyone who has experienced this exchange knows with utter certainty that Clark winked.

Another of Clark's favorite jokes is to produce a perfect replica of a person's nose and exclaim, "Got your nose!" Though Clark claims this is all in good fun, it has led to some suspicion. No one knows who is supplying Clark with molded plastic face parts that bear an eerie resemblance to prominent players in the League. It could be that Clark themself is getting close enough to these players in order to cast themself molds of their faces, although since other teams find Clark's quirk mildly disturbing, the lengths that Clark would need to go to attempt such a feat would be highly illegal. It could be that they have a supplier, a very powerful one at that, and Clark could somehow provide a very high price for such artifacts. The league does not know the truth, and at press time, Clark has absolutely no intention of letting them find out.

Theories

  • Theory: Some wealthy benefactor is providing Clark with plastic face parts.
    • Evidence: These face parts are expertly designed and it would take great resources, access, and subtlety to accomplish these casts.
      • Counterevidence: Nonsense. Surely if someone were dumping that much money into the Spies, they'd win more often.
        • Counter-counterevidence: Spies win.
  • Countertheory: Clark makes the face parts themself and is too shy to take credit for their good work.
    • Evidence: The pieces fit extremely well and nobody else is ever seen with them. Also, again, if someone were dumping that much money into the Spies they'd surely win more blessings.
    • Counterevidence against countertheory: Clark is not shy.
      • Counter-counterevidence against countertheory: "Humble about their accomplishments" and "outgoing" are not mutually exclusive. Also, Reese is cool.
        • Counter-counter-counterevidence against countertheory: Reese, you can't comment on your own page. We can see your IP address.