Tower of Crabylon

From Blaseball Wiki

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Tower of Crabylon (also known as the Tower of Crabel or the Tower of Crabylon™) is a large social gathering, monument, and/or organic construct built atop the Crabitat following the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.


The Tower of Crabylon is a monolithic pillar formed entirely of crabs stacked upon one another - these crabs vary in exact size and shape but trend towards being Giant Friend Crabs. The Tower itself is constructed within and atop the Crabitat itself, though the spatial oddities of the stadium itself can make arriving at its base a mild ordeal.

Assorted crabs atop the stack are self-adorned to display their individuality, pride, or team spirit: various common patterns include the colors of assorted queer pride flags, artistic decorations, or large pincer-held billboards that carry sentiments such as SORRY ABOUT THE MOON or TILLMAN HENDERSON IS NOT PERMITTED TO ASCEND.

It is unclear how tall the Tower of Crabylon is - measurements just before the Ascension estimated a range between 9000 and 10000 crabs tall, a total height capable of piercing the planet's atmosphere and reaching beyond the Black Hole in height. No measurements have been successfully conducted since.

Despite its significant height far exceeding its length and width, the Tower has never been seen to sway, waver, or otherwise compromise structural integrity; analysis by expert carcinologists have determined that this is most likely a result of the phenomenon known as Crabs Together Strong.

A ladder is also in place to aid in scaling the Tower of Crabylon - this installation was the product of the Chicago Firefighters wishing to honor the Chiclawgo Alliance and "hold up the ladder as the Crabs go up and climb". The Chiclawgo Ladder remains open for public use.

Since its foundation, upper layers of the Tower of Crabylon have been hollowed out in order to pay residence to the workplaces of Crab™ LLC. The lower layers remain intact.


Construction on the Tower of Crabylon first began following the victory of the Baltimore Crabs over the Charleston Shoe Thieves in the end of Season 10. Shortly after the winning run was scored, several tens of thousands of Crabs fans, crabs, and other crustacean and crustacean-aligned entities began pilgrimages towards the Crabitat, fueled by a mixture of carcinization-honed instinct and pure, unbridled love for the team. As fans flooded the stadium en masse, the largest crabs joined in unison to experience the joy and tranquility of The Pile, which rapidly transformed into a communal form of celebration as more crabs stacked and smaller crabs aided in construction and logistics.

Fans and participants interviewed as the foundations of the Tower of Crabylon began to take form have described their interest in the project in various ways - everything from wanting to also partake in the joy of the pile-turned-tower, to express emotions through crab art, or simply tending to the stadium grounds. However, near all fans agreed on the purpose of the newly formed structure - "to build a tower high enough to pinch the heavens", and felt that doing so would aid in the Ascension of the Crabs.

With the facts regarding Ascension still shrouded in mystery, it is unclear how exactly the Baltimore Crabs ascended from the League, and it seems quite likely, though not certain, that the construction of the Tower of Crabylon did not, in fact, have anything to do with the process of ascension whatsoever.

Under Crab™ LLC Leadership

Following the startup of Crab™ LLC, several crabs comprising upper layers of the tower spontaneously became host to the sprawling corporate nexus of the Crab™ LLC workplace. As these workplaces are located near-entirely within the Tower proper, it is unclear how this happened, and what few visitors have managed to return from the business without being Hired have been thus far unable (or unwilling) to explain how this came to be, if the crabs being built within still live, or █████████████████████████.

Recently leaked documents have, however, detailed the creation of a complex conceptual integration Synpathetic (synergistic sympathetic) ritual to bind the height of the Tower of Crabylon™ to The Line™, allowing profits to directly influence the height of the Tower. The documents express that this in turn will allow the workplace to grow in size continuously, a fact referred to as 'bringing endless growth and carcinization to the corporate blaseball market'.