The earliest known Crustallions first appeared during the great Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict. To help counteract the distinct mobility advantage provided by the Regiments of Mounted Golf Cart Knights, the servants of the Great Crab enacted a profane ritual to hyper-accelerate the Carcinization of Horses in the hope of producing mounted regiments capable of traversing the endless plains of holes 13 through 17. While not entirely successful the Crustallions proved excellent at snipping down the targeting flags of the Glolfers, rendering their missiles inaccurate and their scores slightly above par.
With the Ascension of Blaseball above all other splorts, Crustallions have had to seek employment in other sectors. Crustallion Racing is extremely popular in Blaltimore and some outlying regions and Parade Crustallions continue to see ceremonial use. Several Crustallions are also attempting to enter Blaseball by rising through the minor leagues, although their complete disdain for the laws of man, gods, or human ethics means that Splortsmanship loving teams typically forgo their services.
Some Crustallions have also begun to challenge the might of the Public Transclawtation System and offer rides around Blaltimore. The Public Transclawtation Board claims that competition is healthy, but a 25% increase in the purchase of dynamite (Bringing the total amount spent on dynamite by the Board up to 45% of the budget, a decade long high) suggests tension may exist. At present Crustallions provide less than 1% of all intra-city transportation but that number is expected to increase assuming a lack of dynamite related accidents.
|Buried||Helga Burton · Pollard Beard|
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24|
|Circuit||Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4|
|Ballpark||Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark|
|Staff||Crab Scott · Howard and Dwayne · Yurts Trunbo · The Clawricle · Runolfio Peeper|
|Places||Tower of Crabylon · Clawliday Inn · Public Transclawtation System|
|Clawture||History · The Olde One · Carcinization · Memorial Pearls · Crustallion · The Baltimore Art Society|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|