Baltimore Crabs/Season 23

From Blaseball Wiki

In Season β23 the Baltimore Crabs finished sixth in the Mild League and thirteenth in the ILB.

Several uses of the Fax Machine and Voicemail left Fairwood Patchwork, Montgomery Bullock, and Axel Campbell in the shadows, Pedro Davids and Zeruel Kramer batting, and Alston Cerveza pitching. Silvaire Roadhouse’s Debt began collection with the unstable incinerations of Helga Washington, Jon Halifax, Helga Moreno, and Gunther O’Brian.

Starting Roster

Lineup Rotation

Season Events

Stadium Renovations

The Crabs built 2 renovations.

  • Stables - 5,925,681 Coins Spent
  • Light Switch - 4,033,379 Coins Spent
    • The Crabs flipped the Light Switch in The Crabitat.
    • The Crabitat's Light Switch is now ON.


A thank you Card from the Crabs for their gifts in season 23.

The Crabs received 2 Gifts! - 5,541,637 coins contributed

  • Top Contributors:
  • Night Vision Sunglasses Drop - Wishlist #1
    • Kennedy Loser dropped Parasitic Hearty Shoes.
      • - Parasitic Hearty Shoes
    • Kennedy Loser gained Holey Night Vision Sunglasses of Fourtitude.
      • + Holey Night Vision Sunglasses of Fourtitude
      • +  Night Vision
      • +  The Fourth Strike
  • Squiddish Egg Drop - Wishlist #2
    • Pedro Davids dropped Bat.
      • - Bat
      • Overall 17.8 + 0.7 -> 17.8 + 0.3
    • Pedro Davids gained Squiddish Careful Offworld Sharp Egg.
      • + Squiddish Careful Offworld Sharp Egg
      • +  Squiddish
      • +  Careful
      • +  Offworld
      • Overall 17.8 -> 17.8 + 0.9

Roster Changes

In Season 23 the Crabs were subject to three voicemails, three faxes, and drained blood twice.

Notable Games

In Season 23 some notable games for the Crabs were:

Election Outcomes

Party Favors

  • Team Roamless Crate passed with 718,394 Votes, 51% of all Decree Votes

Season Overview

Down but not Out

The following summary mixes canon events with community lore.
Despite her affinity for theft that was much appreciated by Crabs fans Fariwoods Patchwork struggled with her alternation and within the earlseason had voicemailed out to be replaced by Pedro Davids.

Fellow Shadowed player Axel Campbell also made an appearance as he was called in to pitch when Finn James was faxed out after giving up 10 runs to the Chigaco Firefighters. In his very first pitch of the game, making use of the two runners that Finn left on base, Baby Triumphant hit a 3-run home run, worth a total of 8.7 runs because of their magnification and the Sun .1 weather. This was followed by a triple and a sacrifice fly, prompting Campbell to be faxed in an impressive 3 at bats, and a total of 55 real world seconds, causing him to set a record breaking ERA of 286.2. Axel then shifted to batting and hit an impressive 0.255 for the remainder of the season before being voicemail back out for Zeruel Kramer.

In a unique case of Equals Sun, Montgomery Bullock was the victim of a fax from none other than former Crab Jon Halifax who scored a home run in the final out of a game against the Breath Mints that was worth a record breaking 20.2 runs. This also resulted in the first ever draw for some reason. a floating point error on the back end of the simulation. Rather than go into extra innings as games traditionally had when ending in a draw, the game was called immediately with the Breath Mints as the winner.

With Bullock faxed, fans were surprised to see Alston Cerveza making a surprise return to the field as a pitcher where he proved that he wasn’t ready to retire just yet, throwing a perfect game in his debut with a total of 10 strikeouts in 27 outs, and shutting out the mints five times in the season.

In Silvaire Roadhouse’s triumphant return to batting for the Crabs it signaled both an incredible season for her and her unfortunate debt finally catching up with her. Over the course of the season her unstable outs caused the deaths of Helga Washington, Jon Halifax, Helga Moreno, and Gunther O’Brian.

In other parts of the league, After Finn James’s performance in a particularly interesting flooding game, Polkadot Patterson managed to remain as the Moist Talker’s only batter thanks to her Flippers. After a few innings of this is became hard to call the sport they were playing “blaseball” but they seemed to be having fun at least. The Crabs lost the game 8-2.

Over in Boston Adalberto Tosser and Baldwin Breadwinner were enjoying the new Traitor items from the election, and spent most of the season trading items around with other members of the team and each other, both notably making a grab for the Legendary Super Roaming Fifth Base several times. In the postseason, it was also the secord championship victory for Jacoby Podcast as the Moist Talkers took their Third championship and evolved.


In the scheduled Semi-centennial (as was predicted by many fans) the Force Field was stolen from Parker Macmillan, and the sun went supernova. What came to a surprise is that notable former Crab Tillman Henderson avoided a second round of necromancy through the Rising Stars by accepting a deal made by the Vault Legends, and changing sides, making him one of two original Crabs remaining in the Vault. (Sorry about that Val).

In the Election the Crabs collected their party favour - the anti-roam crate, in an attempt to prevent their imminent demise in season 24 thanks to Parker Macmillan’s Firewalker and Super Roaming modifications.