Adalberto Tosser

From Blaseball Wiki

Adalberto Tosser was a lineup player for the Boston Flowers, and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until being incinerated on Season β24, Day 4. Tosser previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, and also played for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial.

Official League Records

Tosser joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β5 election, Tosser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season β8, Day 68, Tosser's batting ability was siphoned by Breckenridge Jazz Hands lineup player Holden Stanton in a game with Blooddrain weather, changing it from to .

On Season β10, Day X, Tosser gained the Mild modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS. Due to the Crabs' Ascension, Tosser was absent from the ILB from the Season β10 elections until the Descension.

During the Season β12 elections, Tosser's defense was increased by 2.9 3.6 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing. Additionally, Tosser benefited from a 3.0 3.6 increase to pitching as a result of the Firefighters' Tag Team Pitching blessing.

On Season β13, Day 63, Adalberto Tosser pitched a perfect game against the Kansas City Breath Mints, with 7 strikeouts in 9 innings. This was the 5th perfect game of the Expansion era. In that season's elections, Tosser received the Credit to the Team modification due to the Crabs winning the Rise and Grind blessing.

During the Season β21 elections, Tosser's Credit to the Team modification was reformed to Siphon as a result of the Crabs' Reform Will. Tosser was then traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Silvaire Roadhouse via the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Tosser played as a pitcher for the Rising Stars. Tosser then returned to the Boston Flowers as a lineup player.

On Season β24, Day 4, Tosser was incinerated and replaced by Ruffian Scrobbles.

Box of Adalberto Tosser Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-30.767 and start reading...


Tosser is beloved by countless blaseball fans but banned from almost every bar in town. His "rambunctious antics” off the field have made him something of a regular figure in the scandal pages and gossip blogs, but it is largely agreed among fans and splorts journalists that this doesn't detract from his reputation as a solid, respectable, thoroughly middling player. Tosser was born Adalberto Tossas in Pittsburg, Georgia to a Dominican-American family. He had no noticeable birth defects, however, as he grew older, his right arm began to grow at a much more rapid pace than his left. By the time he was turned 13, his arm had grown to 4 feet in length and showed no sign of stopping. Since joining the Crabs, Tosser's right arm has continued to grow at a rapid pace. However, potentially as a byproduct of his carcinization, when the forearm reaches around 7 feet in length, with a violent crack, the segment bends at the center to form an additional elbow.

Relationship with Tillman Henderson

Tillman Henderson and Tosser were seen together many times when Tillman played for the Crabs. While it wasn't clear how close the two of them were, it was a well known phenomenon locally that when the two of them went out for the nigh several bars would close preemptively to try and avoid their path of destruction. However not all of their interactions ended in being kicked or banned from local establishments. It's been noted that Tosser and Tillman seem to get along remarkably well considering Tillman's reputation.

Notably Tillman has even been invited to Tosser's favorite bar; they have a subway strap installed on the roof above Tosser's favorite seat where he can loop his arm through it to rest it. While he never attended for the first ten seasons, after the Crabs ascended there are reports of Tillman being seen there heckling anyone who tries to take up that seat.

Relationship with Silvaire Roadhouse

After the untimely death of Tillman Henderson Tosser was surprised to discover a new companion for bar hopping with the Crab's newest member, Silvaire Roadhouse. It is said that the first time that they went out together Silvaire invited him out to a bar her grandfather, Silvaire Roadhouse, had recommended.

The two of them managed to be on their best behaviour for approximately 23 minutes before reports came out of "untold chaos", "Drunken revelry", and "A Matador starting a bar fight". The two of them now meet up regularly when they need to cut loose and cause trouble.

Season 9 Day X

Adalberto post season 9 day X by @glassgoblin

In the aftermath of the season 9 finals, where Tosser threw a pitch that allowed Stu Trololol to hit a 3-run home run shaming the Crabs out of ascension, there was a significant amount of confusion due to other events in the ILB. However in the days that followed It became clear that something was different about Tosser. Where once his long arm was extended further by chitinous claws, it now seemed that he had lost his famous pitching arm.

While Tosser himself maintains that this is a result of the Olde One's displeasure, in reality after the death of the Olde One carcinization is tied closer to the subconscious of the person, so rather than a punishment for Her displeasure, the true source of the change is likely Tosser himself.

Fan Works