Adalberto Tosser was a lineup player for the Boston Flowers, and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until being incinerated on Season β24, Day 4. Tosser previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, and also played for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial.
Official League Records
During the Season β5 election, Tosser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.
On Season β10, Day X, Tosser gained the Mild modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS. Due to the Crabs' Ascension, Tosser was absent from the ILB from the Season β10 elections until the Descension.
During the Season β12 elections, Tosser's defense was increased by 2.9 → 3.6 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing. Additionally, Tosser benefited from a 3.0 → 3.6 increase to pitching as a result of the Firefighters' Tag Team Pitching blessing.
On Season β13, Day 63, Adalberto Tosser pitched a perfect game against the Kansas City Breath Mints, with 7 strikeouts in 9 innings. This was the 5th perfect game of the Expansion era. In that season's elections, Tosser received the Credit to the Team modification due to the Crabs winning the Rise and Grind blessing.
During the Season β21 elections, Tosser's Credit to the Team modification was reformed to Siphon as a result of the Crabs' Reform Will. Tosser was then traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Silvaire Roadhouse via the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.
Box of Adalberto Tosser Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-19.013 and start reading...
Adalberto Tosser, also known by his stage name of Slight of Arm, is a popular Baltimore street magician (and lesser known as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs.) He is known for his on-the-field magic tricks, including, but not limited to: turning the opposing batter’s bat into Chleez-Its™, turning the ball he’s pitching into a small marble, stealing the Championship from the Hades Tigers, and other minor inconveniences.
Oftentimes, his forays into the tunnels are preluded by smoke, fog, glitter, or other such special effects.
Fans have recorded video of Tosser getting into heated argument with Matteo Prestige through their hauntings of his teammate, Kennedy Loser. The subject of these arguments range from which one of them really has the world record for quickest time performing the “Metamorphosis” illusion, and which one of them has made the most people disappear during tricks.
This would normally be overlooked; however soon after Prestige’s incineration, Tosser opened up a series of failed restaurants specifically for magicians, an idea that Prestige’s teammates said that Prestige had been planning for “a long time.” It is unknown if the two events are actually correlated, and all investigations into it have been deemed pointless, as the restaurants rarely drew people in for business. The following excerpt from the Baltimore Press details this:
Slight of Arm’s New Restaurants Aren’t Looking So “Magical” After All.
[...] When you walk into the restaurant, it looks relatively normal. That’s this chain’s first mistake—nobody wants to be surprised by magic tricks at their dining experience, and despite the magician behind it all, nowhere on the restaurant’s doors does it say the waiter will be flicking coins out from behind your ear, or slipping cards into your napkins.
“I picked up my fork, and I basically crushed it in my hand,” one dissatisfied customer told us. “Turns out it was that bendy kind of trick cutlery? Which would be fine, right, if I wasn’t paying to be able to eat my food. I used to be a big fan of Slight of Arm’s, but I think I’m gonna have to take a break from going to any of his street shows.”
[...] With the bad reviews rolling in, and money clearly being lost, it seems that the curtains will be closing on this failed business venture soon for Slight of Arm.
Another controversy involves short-time Crabs pitcher Axel Campbell, who reported that “several times,” Tosser had approached him and his partner on the street to do magic tricks that often involved Tosser’s signature Chleez-its™ tricks, levitating Campbell onto a roof, and showing up on VHS tapes from ten years ago. While he didn’t seem too upset by it, several anonymous calls have been placed to Tosser’s husband, Brock Forbes, complaining about how “[Tosser] needs to cut it out,” and that they were “sick of orange soda.”
After a divorce with Thomas Kirby before starting his career in Blaseball, Tosser got married to Brock Forbes, and has since renewed his vows twice—once after ascension, and once before his first MVP Award. His arm, unlike what his stage name implies, is normally sized. His carcinization is, according to him, “a fancy leather jacket with a Crab painted on the back that [he wears] to shows.”
His magic shows have sustained even through pitching three shifts in a row for half of a season, and he can still be seen out and about in Baltimore, even on days he’s pitching Away games. People theorize that this is part of his magic tricks, as trying to approach him on these days makes him “vanish.”
He is 6’1.
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Tosser post season 9 day X by @Glassgoblin
An alternate take on Tosser by Toasthaste
Art of Adalberto Tosser by @Glassgoblin
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