Adalberto Tosser

From Blaseball Wiki

Adalberto Tosser was a lineup player for the Boston Flowers, and was with the team from the Season 21 elections until being incinerated on Season 24, Day 4. Tosser previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, and also played for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial.

Official League Records

Tosser joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 5 election, Tosser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 8, Day 68, Tosser's batting ability was siphoned by Breckenridge Jazz Hands lineup player Holden Stanton in a game with Blooddrain weather, changing it from to .

On Season 10, Day X, Tosser gained the Mild modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS. Due to the Crabs' Ascension, Tosser was absent from the ILB from the Season 10 elections until the Descension.

During the Season 12 elections, Tosser's defense was increased by 2.9 -> 3.6 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing. Additionally, Tosser benefited from a 3.0 -> 3.6 increase to pitching as a result of the Firefighters' Tag Team Pitching blessing.

On Season 13, Day 63, Adalberto Tosser pitched a perfect game against the Kansas City Breath Mints, with 7 strikeouts in 9 innings. This was the 5th perfect game of the Expansion era. In that season's elections, Tosser received the Credit to the Team modification due to the Crabs winning the Rise and Grind blessing.

During the Season 21 elections, Tosser's Credit to the Team modification was reformed to Siphon as a result of the Crabs' Reform Will. Tosser was then traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Silvaire Roadhouse via the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Tosser played as a pitcher for the Rising Stars. Tosser then returned to the Boston Flowers as a lineup player.

On Season 24, Day 4, Tosser was incinerated and replaced by Ruffian Scrobbles.

Box of Adalberto Tosser Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-19.012 and start reading...


Adalberto Tosser is a three foot tall Mbluppet© with a unusually large arm—while a thirty-six inch long arm would be considered normal for most taller humans, a thirty-six inch long arm on a thirty-six inch tall Mbluppet© is considered an abnormality. He pitches with this arm, although he cites that “sometimes he has to get a box to pitch,” and that he also uses this box to be the same height as his husband, Brock Forbes.

There is no visible carcinization on Tosser. However, he is often seen looking longingly out at the Bay with his banjo, leading some to theorize that his carcinization is internal rather than external.

Tosser is the lead performer in hit movie “The Mbluppets© (20XX),” and is the lead singer of Top Fifty Hit “Rainbow Clawnnection.” When asked about his time on the Idol Board during Season 19, he had this to say:

“Oh, I don’t really know why I’m up there. Has somebody made a recent review of ‘The Mbluppets© (20XX)’ recently or something?”

Due to their Mbluppet© nature, neither Tosser nor his husband wear a wedding ring in the tradition manner. Instead, they wear the rings on necklaces, and are often seen wearing matching outfits outside of games, usually “Mbluppet© sized cargo shorts” and “weird Mbluppet© dad shirts.”

Fan Works