Kaz Fiasco was a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs, and was with the team from Season β20, Day 5 until Fall Ball. Fiasco has previously played for the Ohio Worms, Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams, and Philly Pies.
Official League Records
On Season β20, Day 5, Fiasco was exchanged to the Baltimore Crabs due to Feedback. Fiasco was replaced by Jacoby Podcast. On Season 20, Day 9, Fiasco retreated to the Crabs' Shadows in exchange for Montgomery Bullock via Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark's Fax Machine. During the Season β20 elections, Fiasco rejoined the Crabs' active roster in exchange for Pedro Davids as a result of the Crabs' Roster Swap will.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Kaz Fiasco Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-21.600 and start reading...
Kaz Fiasco, presumably, existed before he started playing blaseball.
On the Worms
Kaz Fiasco began his career with the Ohio Worms in season 13.
On the Sunbeams
In season 17 Kaz Fiasco was caught in the feedback with Iggy Delacruz and traded to the Hellmouth Sunbeams where Fiasco quickly found their niche. His adaptation appeared to be the ability to manipulate light with his wings, an ability which made him popular around the Hotdog Moth and Thesus Mothman, the other moth inhabitants of Hellmouth. These two became friends of Fiasco's, helping him to feel comfortable in his new home.
Among his team, Fiasco's chaotic energy was embraced by Kaj Statter Jr., and the two became close friends, often to the frustration of pitcher Jayden Wright. However, another side to him was seen late at night, when he would wander the halls of Sigmund Castillo, following lights to talk to whichever Sunbeams were still awake. This habit led to Fiasco learning a lot about their teammates, as well as picking up knowledge on subjects as varied as Bone Law to car maintenance to hat making. After the incineration of Iggy Delacruz, Fiasco helped the Sunbeams and Worms to make memorial lanterns for their old teammate. One of these can be found in the Augusta Chadwell Memorial Park and Promenade, and the other burns in pride of place in Castillo's common room.
On the Pies
During the season 19 elections, Kaz Fiasco was traded to the Philly Pies for Elvis Figueroa, where he played on the team for only 5 days in season 20 before being feedbacked to the Baltimore Crabs.
On the Crabs
After being feedbacked to the Crabs for Jacoby Podcast, Fiasco was faxed into the shadows in his debut game. This didn’t do much to keep Fiasco down however, as he was quickly picked up by fellow Crabs shadow player Bevan Underbuck, who showed him around the city and helped him get acquainted with the rest of the team. Unfortunately for Underbuck, it only took a few days for Fiasco to discover that when startled Underbuck could leap vertically up to 10 feet in the air, and they never knew peace again. This is also where Fiasco was about to reunite with an old teammate, Enid Marlow. While Marlow and Fiasco had never been particularly close on the worms (with Marlow having a somewhat uncomfortable fascination with him due to his parentage), Fiasco was happy to find Marlow had “chilled out a little” since then, and that the unassuming Underbuck was also good friends with her, keeping Marlow on her best behaviour.
One thing Fiasco was fascinated to learn about was the process of Carcinization. Having undergone both the Worm’s Blacklight Mode and the Sunbeam’s Adaptation, Fiasco was the first player to undergo all three of these processes, and while Baltimoreans knew better than to snoop on this before Fiasco was ready, they were all curious to see just what those effects might be. For his part Fiasco was excited to have these badges connecting him to various communities of the immaterial plane and their people, taking them in stride as a physical reflection of his own time in the league. Sure enough after some time in the city, the night sky that dotted the inside of his wings gained constellations that seemed to move on their own, swirling and reforming into figures that would carry out their days like many of the living art pieces in Baltimore. There was one constellation that did always have a space as the stars reformed and reorganized themselves on his wings: Cancer Minor - the crab constellation.
Return to Active Play
In Season 18 Fiasco joined the active roster for the Crabs as a batter, quickly becoming one of their star hitters, and a favourite “funny little moth man” of the fans. This is also when FIasco began meeting and interacting with more of the roster, participating with reunions of Crabs new and old. In particular this is when Fiasco crossed paths with Sutton Dreamy, former crab and furrent Friday, who told Fiasco all about the old traditions that had fallen off in the chaos of the expansion era. Fiasco took it upon himself to try and bring some of that energy back to the team, taking naps with Finn James while they were supposed to be practicing, inviting the team to watch Crabs in the postseason, and breaking into Kennedy Loser’s townhouse. (Loser did request that the tradition of “randomly showing up at his house” be restricted to daylight hours going forward). While sometimes disastrous, the team did appreciate the thought and commented that they “hadn’t even realized it was missing until we started doing it again, but it had been missed”.
In season 22 thanks to the Subtractor Avoidance blessing, Kaz Fiasco became a subtractor, meaning all of his runs were being counted negatively. Despite being glad to bring some much needed levity to the last seasons of the era, Fiasco couldn’t help but be frustrated that the path he had chosen so long ago and the work that he had put into it were now counting against his teammates. Regardless of the effects of his runs, he simply refused to stop being good at blaseball. It was teammate Alston Cerveza that sympathized the most with this frustration, having spent a season as an Underachiever before his alternation. While Fiasco correctly pointed out that Cerveza’s condition was less damaging to the team, he still appreciated the company, and began going to Cerveza more for general life advice, implausible stories, and excitement in the form of random attacks by Danish assassins.
Approaching the Event Horizon
As season 24 approached Fiasco had a sense of impending doom, not from the many known signs of impending doom, but from his innate sense of doom that came with his mothman nature. This peaked when his friend and teammate Finn James was pitching against the Fridays during their incineration - while James took the loss hard, Fiasco kept her company between games, even after she was faxed out for Alston Cerveza as the season progressed.
Fiasco himself was fairly nonchalant about the end of the world, being more distressed at the thought of not being able to play blaseball anymore than the framework of the immaterial plane falling apart, the laws of reality being consumed, and teams drifting aimlessly through the void in their stadiums. Fiasco did express some regret that they couldn’t go see the Pulsar up close, because he considered it to be “a giant lamp that no one on the team would let [him] go touch”. In the end, as the Crabs sailed off towards the Event Horizon, where Fiasco was excited to see the Ohio Worms again after many seasons, and reiterated that the end of the world wasn’t really such a huge deal.