Kaz Fiasco

From Blaseball Wiki

Kaz Fiasco is a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs, and has been with the team since Season 20, Day 5. Fiasco has previously played for the Ohio Worms, Hellmouth Sunbeams, and Philly Pies.

Official League Records

Fiasco joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Ohio Worms during the Descension.

On Season 17, Day 28, Fiasco was exchanged to the Hellmouth Sunbeams due to Feedback. Fiasco was replaced by Igneus Delacruz.

On Season 17, Day 60, Fiasco siphoned some of Chicago Firefighters lineup player Isaac Johnson's batting ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

Fiasco was traded to the Philly Pies in exchange for Elvis Figueroa during the Season 19 elections via the Pies' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season 20, Day 5, Fiasco was exchanged to the Baltimore Crabs due to Feedback. Fiasco was replaced by Jacoby Podcast. On Season 20, Day 9, Fiasco retreated to the Crabs' Shadows in exchange for Montgomery Bullock via Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark's Fax Machine. During the Season 20 elections, Fiasco rejoined the Crabs' active roster in exchange for Pedro Davids as a result of the Crabs' Roster Swap will.

During the Season 22 elections, Fiasco gained the Subtractor modification as a result of the Subtractor Avoidance blessing.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Kaz Fiasco Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-64.752 and start reading...

History

Before being recruited to the Ohio Worms, Kaz Fiasco was a small time stage magician known for both his "Gallagher-esque" stage performances, and also resulting criminal record.

Magician

As a magician, Kaz's performances involved many fireworks, used in exclusively unsafe manners. His "hammer-o-matic" routine, in which he took a baseball bat to various fireworks alongside passable jokes, both delighted and terrified crowds (correlating directly with proximity to the stage), and eventually led to his dishonorable discharge from the Magician's Corps after one particularly tragic performance. When asked to comment by a local paper, Kaz simply repeated his famous catchphrase (removed for clarity) and sadly drove his garish sedan away.

Criminal

After losing his Magician's License, Kaz turned his pyrotechnic skills towards crime, amassing a several hundred dollar fortune from a multi-state petty crime spree in which he robbed several firework stores, atms, and banks, all through creative and ill-advised fireworks use (as well as baseball bat use). He was finally apprehended trying to Roman Candle through a bank vault door, after one of his pinwheel fireworks set off a silent alarm (which Kaz, to this day, insists should be illegal). When read his Miranda rights by the arresting officers, Kaz once again repeated his catchphrase, to the displeasure of everyone involved.

The ILB

After two decades in "the big house" Kaz was finally granted parole, and was soon recruited by the Ohio Worms for his skill with a baseball bat, as well as his skill in running from the law. Kaz enjoyed a relatively successful career as a part of several championship winning teams, and will be tragically killed when his gunpowder-corked bat misfires during a future ILB season.

Appearance

In his time at the ILB, Kaz was renowned for his button-up shirts and his silver fox charm, as well as the iconic scorched crater he will leave in his wake.


Fan Works