Zeruel Kramer

From Blaseball Wiki

Zeruel Kramer is a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs, and has been with the team since Season β18, Day 90.

Official League Records

Kramer joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs on Season β18, Day 90 after the incineration of Chorby Soul III.

On Season β22, Day 25, Kramer was swept  Elsewhere... and gained the Negative modification as a result of Lorcan Smaht's Undertaker modification.

On Season β22, Day 96, Kramer retreated to the Crabs' Shadows in exchange for Pedro Davids at Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark via the Ratified Voicemail.

On Season β23, Day 87, Kramer joined the Crabs' lineup in exchange for Axel Campbell at Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark via the Ratified Voicemail.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Zeruel Kramer Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-68.133 and start reading...


Zuriel Kramer was a resident of DC before moving to Baltimore later in zir life. Kramer holds an interest in found object art as well as the creation of machines and mechanical pieces with scrap, and specifically designs zer own prosthetics using them. Upon arriving in Baltimore Ze quickly took up collecting scrap and various bits of discarded trash from the city, in particular making trips out to their famous Mr. Trash Wheel to for supplies and eventually just unwind. Even as they worked on zir projects however, Kramer had zir eyes set on the ultimate prize of Baltimore: The Crabitat. The center of not one, but two dead gods in the form of the Olde One and The Shelled One, Kramer yearned to get a chance to scour the fields for materials. Eventually ze took matters into zir own hands, and broke in the dead of night.

Naturally Yurts Trunbo was quick to catch on to the interloper, but instead of turning zer hover to the city council, Trunbo instead elected to recruit zer into the staff of the Crabitat, and tasked Kramer with assisting with the various ballpark cleanups funded by the fans of the Crabs. In exchange ze was allowed to take home the various bits and pieces that ze found in the process. This arrangement suited them both niceley, and left Kramer with enough spare time to work on zer main project - the Arm of God.

The Arm of God

When Kramer chose the name “Zeruel” it was in specific reference to its root meaning to reference zir ongoing project, and arguably zir life’s work, a replacement arm that ze could use to expand what people thought of when they imagined an arm. When the Crabs returned to the ILB, ze found particular inspiration in the work that Pedro Davids had done for Adalberto Tosser, and began scavenging the stadium for things that ze could use to improve it, eventually ending up with fallen pieces of the mural that Sutton Dreamy had build for Combs Duende amongst other inspirations. It was during one such excivision where Kramer found themselves turned around and accidentally entered the tunnels under the Crabitat quickly becoming lost in the dark. Eventually ze was guided back by an unknown figure, but they were gone by the time it was light enough to see who it was.

Finally when ze took a chance trying to scavenge parts off of the remains of the Chorby Soul III replica, the Crabs were looking for a new player to replace the fallen replica. Kramer was quick to volunteer for a chance to be able to get a better look at the pitchers in the ILB, and gain access to Tosser and Davids’ work, showing of zir prototype arm. Luckily the Clawricle took one look at zir and insisted that ze bat instead, which worked out much better for everyone. While Kramer was quick to request to bat cleanup, Kennedy Loser patiently reminded him that “that doesn’t mean what you think it means”.


Upon joining the Crabs, Kramer was quickly enthralled with many of the strange people ze found zemselves with, but none were quick so quick to pull zem in as Alston Cerveza who’s antics Kramer immediately got caught up in while admiring his gyrocopter, and then being accidently pulled into a high speed, death defying chase as Cerveza had to make a quick exit. Since that fateful day Kramer has become a recurring figure in some of Cerveza’s adventures, and enjoys the experience immensely - often stopping to invent a new gadget or gizmo to save the day out of scraps and bits of whatever other inventions are nearby. In zer time in Baltimore ze has also been working on “escape room” like training exercises for Hops to keep him in practice, and Hops will often end up competing alongside Crab Scott to either get the best time, or to find ways to break apart Kramer’s courses. As Kramer spent more time in Baltimore’s second hand market, ze found zirself acquiring many strange things to be later reused in sculptures. Unbeknownst to zir, this also meant that ze had gained a growing collection of small pieces of spirits, ghosts, and tiny snippets of gods that clung to the material things ze brought back to zir workshop. While Kramer was completely oblivious to this detail, ze did often find that when working with these materials ze was particularly inspired, and could put them together in ways that ze wasn’t expecting to create what ze described as some of zir best work.

Eventually Kramer’s friends and occultists Axel Campbell and Enid Marlow visited Kramer’s workshop when ze wasn’t present with the intent to do something about the buildup of unknown energy only to discover it was “haunted as shit” and decided that “whatever ZK is doing is probably working just fine actually”.

The Event Horizon

Kramer considered zirself good at handling most challenges that came zir way, however when the end of the world began ze found zirself a little out of zir depth. When the team announced that they would be going directly into the maw of the event horizon, and not towards the safety of the vault, ze did not take it well. With Pedro Davids planning his own trip to the vault, Kramer began to assist in the effort, working to build a ship that could take the two of them to safety once they got the team where they wanted to go. However on Day 79 when the Pies were nullified Davids and Kramer realized they no longer had until the end of the season, but that they could be nullified at any moment.

With this realization, Kramer took stock of zir work and personal philosophies, and tried to unpack zir feelings. After spending a night in the Crabitat they emerged deciding that they did not need to survive the end of the world, ze just needed to make sure someone who did could remember zir. Entrusting that responsibility to Davids, the two of them adjusted their plans into a single passenger vessel, and as the Blackhole (blackhole) approached Kramer pushed the vehicle into action and watched Davids disappear into the distance. In the moments before the Crabs were Nullified, Kramer tried to remember if ze had pushed with zir organic arm, zir prosthetic “Arm of God”, or both.

Fan Works