Silvaire Roadhouse was a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs, and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until Fall Ball. Roadhouse has previously played for the Boston Flowers.
Official League Records
Roadhouse joined the ILB on Season β9, Day 64 as a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs after the incineration of Tillman Henderson.
On Season β10, Day X, Roadhouse gained the Flinch modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS. Due to the Crabs' Ascension, Roadhouse was absent from the ILB from the Season β10 elections until the Descension.
During the Season β12 elections, Roadhouse's defense was increased by 3.0 → 3.6 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.
Roadhouse was traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Chorby Soul during the Season β16 elections via the Crabs' Plunder will.
During the Season β20 elections, Roadhouse's Flinch modification was changed into the Debt modification by the Flowers' Reform will.
Roadhouse was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Adalberto Tosser during the Season β21 elections via the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process. Roadhouse also gained the Heist Expert modification as a result of the Play to Find Out blessing.
During the Season β22 elections, Roadhouse was sent from the Crabs' rotation to the Crabs' lineup as a result of the Crabs' Move will.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Silvaire Roadhouse Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-37.797 and start reading...
The Grands Roadhouse, The Devil of Carrol County, Silvaire the Pair, or most informally, Silvaire Roadhouse, is a granddaughter/grandfather pair of cowboys. The former, Silvaire the Youngest, is a gunslinging butch who looks for horse in all the wrong places. The latter, Silvaire the Eldest, is her immortal grandfather, one of the greatest cowboys in the world and perhaps even in the west, who has joined his consciousness with hers in order to commit great acts of wranglery and frontiersmanship.
Silvaire the Eldest
Not much is known about Silvaire the Eldest's early life. He has said in interviews that he was born in Haiti, but hasn't let slip much more than that. However, behavior patterns and description matched across recovered diaries, newspapers, letters, and county archives have granted historians surprisingly comprehensive insight into his life on the frontier.
One account describes Silvaire the Eldest as
A stranger in town...swallowed by the shade of his hat, with eyes stormy and still...he spoke few words, but those words were rich as cream, their accent thicker...knew his way around cattle better than most men know themselves
Every time he walked into a saloon, the pianist would abruptly stop and all conversation would pause for a tense moment. He meandered the territories performing odd jobs and misadventures that include but are not limited to, ranch handing, fending off bandits, rootin' and tootin', clearing out corrupt sheriffs in the only language they'd listen to, caravan driving, killing giants that he mistook for windmills, train robbing, evading a bounty, barn raising, prospecting, and, of course, ranch handing. It is unknown when or why he was cursed with immortality, but being a good cowboy is an essential component.
As the West settled into the 20th century, he became unmoored, and faded from the written record (except for a very, very brief stint managing a cabaret and possible speakeasy). According to interviews, he said "I knew that immortality meant the world would move past me, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon. It was only after I met ████████, my wife and the love of my life, that I learned how to carve a little place for myself out in the world." The two of them settled down in Oklahoma to raise cattle for a time. During the height of the Dust Bowl, Silvaire the Eldest was seen roaming the land bringing provisions and aid to residents, and faded into folk legend. Thereafter, he was known only by word of mouth from the greatest contemporary cowboys, helping out in a detached way, or coming forward in times of great cow-related crisis, knowing that "though the Wild West is long behind us, there will always be a something in this world needing doin' that only a cowboy can do."
When Silvaire the Youngest was born, her grandfather's love for her brought him out of isolation. He moved to Baltimore to be nearer to her and taught her everything he knew (though she could never figure out horses), and in turn relearned how to be a part of the world. He began practicing interdisciplinary cowboying and took the art of wrangling to new heights. The bond they shared became so powerful that they became able to communicate through one another telepathically.
Silvaire the Youngest
Silvaire the Youngest is horse-blind. She has been seen riding animals like deer, turtles, big isopods, giraffes, █████████, alligators, whales, eagles, and so on, but she just can't really tell what is or isn't a horse—so she assumes they all are, just in case. If it's got four legs, if it's rideable, and if it's got the right attitude, it's a horse...and settling for two out of three of those is good enough sometimes. Cow? Horse. Chair? Horse? Forrest Best? You betcha ass that's a horse. As for horses, well, it's probably stranger yet that there just hasn't been a situation where she and a horse were in a room together, and people have tried, too.
One account describes Silvaire the Youngest as
Lebsbian...she can't stop saying cowboy clichés...has never lost a game of pool, always loses a game of Texas hold'em...a crack shot with spread like frozen butter...her hair is butch but I honestly don't have more to say, it's just like, every butch 'do simultaneously...she broke my nose
Every time she walked into a bar or club, the DJ would play that generic record scratch sound and all conversation would pause for a tense moment. She wears a bird skull on a necklace and a big iron inherited from her grandfather. Despite living well within city limits, she continues to do cowboy things in Baltimore such as cattle driving through Fells Point, cooking chili in alleyways, and repeatedly practicing the "wauwauwaaaah" sound from the Good The Bad And The Ugly theme to herself as she rides around on her not horse.
Silvaire the Youngest did not telepathically channel the power of her grandfather until she was █9, since projecting or hosting the consciousness of another is a seventh level cowboy invocation that cannot be rushed. In her lonesome early life, she put her fledgling cowboy skills to good use: crime. Causing controlled stampedes, she brought unknowable costs in property damage to the meat and dairy industry in the northeast. The bounty on her head was never collected, when questioned about how she's evaded the law thus far she responded, "turns out, if you shoot the deputy too, there's no one left to get you."
Silvaire Roadhouse the Older and Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger were hired at around the same time by different members of the Baltimore Crabs, though for entirely different reasons. Howard and Dwayne had spoken with one retired cowboy friend of theirs, with whom they've had countless and untold misadventures, and had planned to bring them aboard the team as a coach for hitting home runs. Meanwhile, local trashboy Tillman Henderson had began to put into action a tax evasion scheme involving faking his death and squatting in the Crabitat, and had called butch cowboy and gunslinger Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger in order to help set up the pretense of assassination.
Unfortunately, Silvaire and her grandpa (giving her moral support through his astral-projected form) arrived just in time to witness Tillman go up in smoke, a final middle finger raised against the Umpiress and the crowds, and, for lack of any other options in the stadium at the time, were promptly drafted into the team. Their first action was to hit a three-run home run—whether this was "a Tilly Triple from beyond the grave" or simply the new duo's strength is highly contested, but there is no doubt that the Silvaires are, most certainly, naturally born Crabs.
There was some discussion after the game of which Silvaire Roadhouse was the new batter but Howard and Dwayne wisely argued that the name on the contract (signed in Tillman’s ashy blood) only said Silvaire Roadhouse; it didn’t say which one. As such according to ILB regulations there’s no rule saying two people with the same name aren’t the same player.
Silvaire bats with an inherited gunbat that is also the gun she always has at her hip, maybe it's a trick of perspective. Sometimes instead of hitting the ball, she shoots it...in fact, as far as statisticians can tell, every time she tries to swing at the ball she misses or fouls and every time she shoots it she hits it squarely, but she still has to give it a good swing a couple times for some reason.
Silvaire Roadhouse has carcinized in that, every time she ever had to shoot a man, a tiny hermit crab crawled up and into the spent shell that fell at her feet, as a reminder of the lives she's taken. She is followed by a small herd of a little over a dozen of these crabs everywhere she goes.
In Season 10 after making the run that killed the sun alongside Tot Fox, Silvaire Roadhouse and the rest of the Baltimore Crabs ascended to The Big Leagues, where she remained until the Crab’s return on Day 72 of season 12. Roadhouse Sr. however remained on the grounds of the Crabitat passing the time alongside Yurts Trunbo as they hoped for the return of the team. During this time he worked alongside the people of Baltimore to keep the city safe and operating for when his granddaughter returned.
Return to the ILB
Upon Roadhouse Jr’s return she found that she was not unchanged from the fight on Day X, and had acquired a nasty flinch that hindered her ability to play. As she returned to the game, it was one of many reminders of what they all had gone through. Nonetheless the team rocketed themselves to the championships and it seemed like even their curse could not stop their momentum, but as they began to slow, the responsibilities the team faced grew. Following the losses of Nagomi McDaniel, Alyssa Harrell, Jacoby Podcast, York Silk and Brock Forbes. And with the Crab’s captains now redacted, traded, and haunted there was a hole in the team that they were struggling to recover from.
It was Pedro Davids that reached out to Roadhouse and their new recruit Parker Meng to assist in captaining the team while Kennedy Loser recovered. The three of them were quick to get along well, though after a few tense arguments Meng and Davids did agree to “duke it out in a parking lot for a bit” at Roadhouse’s request. This was surprisingly effective, and Davids quickly grew to appreciate Meng’s experience as the three worked in tandem, while Roadhouse appreciated most things about Meng as they got to know each other. This victory was short lived however, as the losses began to pile up and Roadhouse found herself struggling to stay afloat.
The Boston Flowers
In Season 15 Roadhouse found herself unexpectedly being traded to Boston as a part of the second revival of Chorby Soul. While unexpected, this did reunite her with an old friend - Brock Forbes. Appreciating the familiar face she was quick to try and acclimatize, but found that there was something unexpected waiting for her.
A Debt - Returned with Interest
In season 21, after seasons of hardships had piled up, Silvaire roadhouse decided that she had had enough, and she was fed up with her shaking hands on the bat and flinching at half of the pitches thrown at her. In a moment of pure, unadulterated malice, she swung the bat and when her ball made contact with Walton Sports and discovered that it was a welcome change of pace. Refreshing even, when after seasons of loss Roadhouse finally felt like she could take something back. While her Debt hung over her as a curse, many of the Flowers took time to try and work through it with her, with Brock Forbes and Scores Baserunner passing on information about upcoming eclipses. Jaylen Hotdogfingers herself watched as Roadhouse spread instability though the league, though in all her time at the Flowers Roadhouse never cashed in a single unstable player for her debt, though it wasn’t entirely clear if it was from a lack of trying.
Return to Baltimore
In season 22 Roadhouse was traded back to the Baltimore Crabs, this time for her old friend Adalberto Tosser. While this did reunite him with Brock Forbes, it did leave Roadhouse pitching, which was a new challenge for her, though luckily Roadhouse Sr. was there to assist. Likewise, it seemed that Kennedy Loser had begun to return to himself, and the Crabs as a whole had ended up in a place of relative stability. Many of the older Crabs seemed unphased by Roadhouse’s new condition, though many of the newer team members were keeping their distance. As she continued to manage her debt as best she could, only letting her anger spike out rarely, and aiming for Fireaters when she could manage it, Roadhouse managed to keep it together longer than many people expected.
In season 22 it was league renowned player Jessica Telephone that reached out to her to talk over dinner. Coming with her own history of Day X in the Discipline Era, Telephone spoke frankly to Roadhouse about what might happen next. Speaking of the difference between fault and responsibility, and of what you can control and what you cannot. Privately she quickly realized that her words weren’t sinking in for Roadhouse and could only hope that when the time finally came, she would remember them.
In season 23 day 63 an unstable Helga Washington was incinerated and chained the effect to Jon Halifax, and when Halifax was incinerated the effect chained to Silvia Winner. On Day 90 Gunther O’Brian was incinerated, and his instability spread to Kaz Fiasco. On Day 97, Helga Moreno was incinerated and instability spread to Tot Fox.
As the deaths began to pile up, Roadhouse watched as her instability spread to teammates and friends, describing it as “fate making a punishment for those who thought they could get away with this for so long”. When the time came, Roadhouse made a request of Yurts Trunbo to allow her four victims to be memorialized in the way traditional to Crabs players - having their ashes turned into Memorial Pearls and distributed to their loved ones. Trumbo agreed to the request, and Roadhouse offered to personally deliver the pearls to those who were willing to see her. This led to some heartfelt reunions, difficult conversations, and rejected apologies, but they were steps Roadhouse felt that she had to take, with one such conversation centering around her former co-captain Parker Meng during the delivery of Helga Moreno’s remains.
In Season 24 the Baltimore Crabs steered themselves towards the Horizon, and Silvaire Roadhouse took the time to recover their confidence in themselves and their own control. Despite a marked increase in eclipse weather, not a single casualty of the season was a result of Silvaire’s debt. As the Blackhole (Blackhole) expanded, they found themselves at peace, and happy to be back in Baltimore for the end.
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Art by @Kayleerowena
Art by @kayleeRowena
Art and character page by Toasthaste
Art by @Ratgills
Art of Silvaire Roadhouse by @Waalkr
Art by @saltmouth
Art by @gaymaul