New York Millennials

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For other uses, see Millennials (disambiguation).
The New York Millennials are a Blaseball team in the Mild High division of the Mild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season AA. For Seasons 1-5 of the ILB, they played in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League. For Season 6-8, they played in the Wild High division of the Wild League. Since Season 9, they have played in the Mild High division of the Mild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1, and claim to be "the gayest team in blaseball[1]".

Roster

Lineup Rotation
Shadows


Select Tlopps Blaseball Cards can be found here.

Former Players

Incinerated

Feedback Swaps

Transferred

Echoed into Static

Redacted

Faded to Dust

Phantom Thieves' Guild Heists

Season Results

For more detailed recaps of the Millennials' seasons, see New York Millennials/History.

Season Record Wins Division Rank Subleague Rank Postseason
1 46-53 46 5th 8th Did not qualify
2 44-55 44 5th 8th Did not qualify
3 65-34 65 1st 1st Division Series: Won 3-1 over the Dallas Steaks
Championship Series: Won 3-1 over the San Francisco Lovers
Internet Series: Lost 3-2 to the Hades Tigers
4 58-41 58 1st 2nd Division Series: Won 3-1 over the Dallas Steaks
Championship Series: Won 3-2 over the Chicago Firefighters
Internet Series: Lost 3-0 to the Hades Tigers
5 64-35 64 1st 2nd Division Series: Lost 3-1 to the Chicago Firefighters
6 51-48 51 4th 5th Did not qualify
7 55-44 55 4th 4th Division Series: Lost 3-0 to the Baltimore Crabs
8 50-49 50 2nd 5th Did not qualify
9 44-55 44 5th 8th Did not qualify
10 47-52 47 4th 7th Chosen as Mild League Wild Card entrant.
Wildcard Round: Won 2-0 over the Philly Pies
Division Series: Won 3-1 over the Canada Moist Talkers
Championship Series: Lost 3-0 to the Charleston Shoe Thieves
11 40-57 40 4th 9th Did not qualify
12 55-44 55 3rd 4th Wildcard Round: Lost 2-1 to the Charleston Shoe Thieves
13 53-46 56 1st 4th Wildcard Round: Lost 2-1 to the Kansas City Breath Mints
14 49-50 49 4th 7th Did not qualify
15 63-36 63 1st 3rd Division Series: Lost 3-1 to the Canada Moist Talkers
16 23-76 22 6th 12th Did not qualify
17 38-61 38 4th 10th Chosen as Mild League Wild Card entrant.

Wildcard Round: Lost 2-0 to the Hawai'i Fridays

18 31-68 31 6th 12th Did not qualify
19 53-46 -53 5th 9th Did not qualify
20 50-49 52 3rd 6th Did not qualify
21 61-38 67 3rd 5th Chosen as Mild League Wild Card entrant to the Overbracket.

Wildcard Round: Won 2-1 over the Philly Pies

Division Series: Lost 3-0 to the Baltimore Crabs

22 47-52 58 5th 8th Qualified for the Underbracket after the Moist Talkers were selected as the Overbracket wild card.

Wildcard Round: Won 2-1 over the Seattle Garages

Division Series: Won 3-1 over the Yellowstone Magic

Championship Series: Won 4-3 over the Hawai'i Fridays

Internet Series: Lost 3-2 to Miami Dale

23 58-41 67 2nd 4th Wildcard Round: Won 2-1 over the San Francisco Lovers

Division Series: Lost 3-1 to the Canada Moist Talkers

Election Results

Season Direct Outcomes Indirect Election Effects
1 None None
2 Won Soul Swap blessing (26% of the vote, highest bidder)
Stats were randomized for the team's five worst players: Theodore Cervantes, Fynn Doyle, Richardson Games, Winnie McCall, and Conrad Vaughan.
The Fourth Strike decree applied Fourth Strike to NYM for Season 3.
3 No blessings won.

Highest bidder for Evil Wind Sprints (29%)
Exile, won by the Hades Tigers, saw Mclaughlin Scorpler move to the Tigers in exchange for Alyssa Harrell.
4 No blessings won.

Highest bidder for Evil Wind Sprints (46%)
The Targeted Shame decree applied Targeted Shame to NYM for Season 5.

The Alternate Reality decree replaced Wesley Dudley and Fynn Doyle with Alternates.

The Getting In Their Heads (Literally) blessing, won by the Boston Flowers, impaired the NYM maximum vibes by 7%.
5 No blessings won.

Highest bidder on Mutual Aid blessing (22% of the vote)

None
6 Won Ooze (3%)
Team power was boosted by 10%.

Won The Best Defense (36%, highest bidder)
The best hitting pitcher, Bates Bentley, and the worst hitter, Penelope Mathews, swapped positions.

Highest bidder for Collect Call (25%)
None
7 Won Hot Sauce Packet (2%)
Sandie Turner became Spicy.

Highest bidder for The Iffey Jr. (56%)
The Shame Bubble blessing, won by the Hawai'i Fridays, was applied to NYM for Season 8.
8 No blessings won.

Highest bidder for Subleague Swap (38%)
The Subleague Swap blessing, won by the Mexico City Wild Wings, moved NYM to the Mild High division.
9 No blessings won.

Highest bidder for Grab and Smash (42%)
The Fifth Base Bubble blessing, won by the Baltimore Crabs, applied Fifth Base to NYM for Season 10.

The Hot Sauce Bar blessing, won by the Seattle Garages, applied Spicy to Charlatan Seabright.

The Shame Bubble blessing, won by the Boston Flowers, applied Targeted Shame to NYM for Season 10.
10 Won An Actual Airplane (1%)
Thomas Dracaena gained An Actual Airplane.

Won Bird Seed (20%)
The Millennials have gained Bird Seed.

Highest bidder for People's Champions (13%)
The Shelled One's Pods have fallen back to the plane. Alejandro Leaf fell to the Millennials.
11 Won VI The Lover (1%)
The Millennials receive VI The Lover.
None
12 Wills:

Blessings:

  • Won Uncle Indemnity (2%) Hard-boiled Uncle Plasma was recruited to join the New York Millennials's rotation!
None
13 Wills:

Blessings: None

Mags Banananana wandered to the Millennials.

14 Wills:

Blessings: None

The Boston Flowers targeted Schneider Bendie for an exchange, opting to send back Glabe Moon. (3%/0%/0%)

The Min-Maxing blessing, won by the Seattle Garages, applied Maximalist to Thomas Dracaena and Minimalist to Nandy Fantastic.
15 Wills:

Blessings: None

The Kansas City Breath Mints targeted Uncle Plasma for a foreshadow (votes cast while Plasma was investigating), opting to send back Oscar Vaughan. (48%/93%/45%)
16 Wills:
  • The Millennials targeted Conrad Vaughan for an equivalent exchange, opting to send back Mikan Hammer. (31%/93%/29%)
  • The Millennials chose to bring Chorby Short forth from the shadows, via a foreshadow swap with Oscar Vaughan. (32%/92%/29%)
  • The Millennials voted to transfuse Patty Fox's pitching. (30%/91%/28%)

Blessings: None

The LA Unlimited Tacos targeted Felix Garbage for an equivalent exchange, opting to send back Greer Gwiffin. (39%/91%/36%)

The Boston Flowers targeted Glabe Moon for an equivalent exchange, opting to send back Schneider Bendie. (32%/7%/2%)

17 Wills:

Blessings: None

None

18 Wills:

Blessings:

  • Won Shadow Cap Supply Run (15%) All active players gained Cap!
  • Won Tenacity Patches (13%) Chorby Soul IV's Tenaciousness was improved by 8% twice and Nandy Fantastic's Tenaciousness was improved by 8% once!

The Trust Fall decree gave the Battin' Island Turntables. The Ratification decree removed the Turntables and Hotel Motel from Battin' Island.

19 Wills:
  • The Millennials vote to Shadow Infuse Ruslan Duran's defensive ability. (40%/90%/36%)
  • The Millennials vote to move Greer Gwiffin to their lineup. (39%/98%/38%)

Blessings:

The Monitor gave the Millennials a Free Gift.

20 Wills:

Blessings:

The Boston Flowers targeted Castillo Turner for an equivalent exchange, trading Chorby Short.
21 Wills:

Blessings:

  • The Millennials won Heads over Tails (25%, highest bidder), flipping Uncle Plasma II negative.
The Hades Tigers won the Double Negative blessing, recruiting Hatfield Suzuki from the Millennials.


Evelton McBlase II roamed to the lineup of the Millennials.

22 Wills:

Blessings:

  • The Millennials won Darkside Flip (3%), flipping their Shadows negative.
  • The Millennials won Lineup Flip (2%), flipping their Lineup negative.
The Hawai'i Fridays won the Subtractor Avoidance blessing, giving Nandy Fantastic the Subtractor mod.


The Ohio Worms won the Record Scratch blessing, giving Munro Tumblehome the Skipping mod.


The Seattle Garages won the Gachapon blessing, recruiting Ezekiel Throckmorton from the Millennials' Shadows.

23
  • The Millennials voted for the Roamless Party Favor. (95% of all Decree Votes)
  • Wills were not available in Season 23
  • The Millennials won Season 2: Literal Arm Cannon (2%). Sandie Carver gained the Literal Arm Cannon item.
The LA Unlimited Tacos won the Season 22: Gachapon blessing, recruiting Ramirez Winters from the Millennials' Shadows.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Corporate Sponsorships

After Basethirst's failed launch attempt and mysterious reappearance on shelves, a sponsorship deal was announced on the Millennials twitter account, with Dominic Marijuana acting as the face of the brand. Both the Ceaseless Thirst Corporation and the ownership of the Millennials have refused to comment on whether players other than Marijuana are being paid for the sponsorship, leading to widespread criticism and light rioting from the anti-capitalist wings of the fan base. Dominic avoided backlash from fans and fellow players when it was revealed that his sponsorship money was being used to help Blaseball stadium janitors try out for the New York Blittle League team.

In response to the Basethirst sponsorship, The Millennials Players Union are officially partnered with the Plabst Blue Ribbon Workers' Union.

Staff

Team Connections

Besties

Hellmouth Sunbeams

An immediate and lasting cross-team friendship was forged with the Hellmouth Sunbeams during the Season 10 Wild Card Round. Both teams were selected as Wild Card representatives, and swept their opposition in parallel to the delight of their combined fanbases. Since then, the teams have become very close, bonding over their love of Blaseball and the Marijuana Brothers, Randall Marijuana and Dominic Marijuana.
The fans thrive in the chaos they collectively create, creating new long acronyms (including LGMASBLDMASDMASADWCBLDWC, “Let’s Go Mills And Sunbeams Baby Love Da Mills And Sunbeams Da Mills And Sunbeams Are Da Wild Cards Baby Love Da Wild Cards”) and mashups of team chants such as "WHOSE BONES? NOT OURS WE RENT!" and "STARE INTO THE HOUSE! THE RENT STARES BACK!".
Following Season 10, the teams signed a lease together and are now long-distance roommates.


Fan Culture

For more on the Millennialls' mascots, see New York Millennials/Fan Culture.

Chants/Mantras

  • "LET'S GO MILLS BABY LOVE DA MILLS" (LGMBLDM)
  • "ALWAYS BET DA MILLS BLABY" (ABDMB)
  • Call: "WHOSE HOUSE?"
    • Response: "NOT OURS WE RENT"
  • "[name/pronoun]'S WALKIN' HERE" (after a walk)
  • "BAN GROUND" (after a ground out)
  • "IT'S LIT" (bases loaded)
  • "FLY THE AVO" (after a win)

Fan Works

For more Millennialls' fan art, see New York Millennials/Fan Art.