Felix Garbage

From Blaseball Wiki

Felix Garbage was a lineup player for the LA Unlimited Tacos, and was with the team from the Season β16 elections until Fall Ball. Garbage has played for the New York Millennials.

Official League Records

Garbage joined the ILB as a pitcher for the New York Millennials on Season β2 Day 40 after the incineration of Scrap Murphy.

Garbage Day

Squaring off against the 38-11 Dallas Steaks on Season β2, Day 50, the Millennials pulled off a surprise win after Garbage dominated the Steaks into extra innings, and a solo home run by star player Thomas Dracaena put the Millennials on top (and the Steaks in Shame) at the bottom of 15 innings. This event is referred to by fans as "Garbage Day."

Garbage Day Final Box Score

Coffee Cup

During the Coffee Cup, Garbage played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

Season 16

During the Season β16 elections, Garbage was traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos in exchange for Greer Gwiffin via the Tacos' Equivalent Exchange will.

Season 17

On Season β17, Day 14, Garbage was  SHELLED in a game with Peanut weather by Tokyo Lift player Alejandro Leaf.

Season 17

On Season β18, Day 62, Garbage was freed from their shell by birds.

Season 22

During the Season β22 elections, Garbage gained the Skipping modification as a result of the Record Scratch blessing.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Felix Garbage is a PhD physicist dedicated to the study of gravitational anomalies, and often picks up engineering and cosmology research alongside his teammates on the New York Millennials and LA Unlimited Tacos.

Time with the New York Millennials

After replacing the Millennials first Incineration, Scrap Murphy, Felix Garbage grew to be a well-liked Millennials pitcher, despite his average star rating. Recognizing the needs of the team after the loss of Murphy, Garbage dedicated himself to bonding with teammates over shared interests, eventually working with Peanut Holloway to research league-wide Observations, picking it up further after their Redaction.

Due to the struggling financial position of many Millennials, Garbage held a “side hustle” at a local McDonalds. Upon moving to Los Angeli, Garbage picked up a job at a Tlaco Bell, before promptly realizing he had no desire to work in LA, quitting the job in just over six minutes.

Time with the LA Unlimited Tacos

After hearing of Nicholas Vincent’s Incineration in Season β15, Felix was eager to move to Los Angeli in order to recover xer previous notes and extensive models of the infinite solar systems. Often seen exploring various rifts with fellow New York implant Rat Mason, Garbage has stated that LA is “both a playground… and a massive headache” for his studies.

Though aware of the Cities seeming dislike of those interested in studying LA, as seen by the previous misfortune of Los Angeli researchers, Garbage remained dedicated to continuing efforts to understand the Infinite, even reaching out to his own replacement, Greer Gwiffin, for information from their podcast-style interviews of the team.

Guided to the front of the lineup by team captain Mcdowell Mason, and coached by Sexton Wheerer, having experienced a similar switch from pitching to batting, Garbage came to be a vital member of the team before his Shelling, exactly two seasons after Vincent’s Incineration, on Season β17 Day 14. Though a newer team member, the small roster felt his absence quickly and have sought to Unshell him, regardless of their rather inimical relationship with Birds.

Career and Pitching Style

Dr. Felix Garbage is well known for his innovative double-leg-lift pitching technique, one which no other pitcher has been able to replicate. He attributes his ability to a PhD in Physics, earned from Cornell University in his hometown of Ithaca, New York, where he wrote his doctoral thesis on gravitational anomalies in Blaseball rhombi.

The double-leg-lift technique made Dr. Garbage a natural ally of the Millennials in their ancient hatred of the Ground. Upon trade to the LA Unlimited Tacos, Garbage met a natural rival in Vito Kravitz, due to his slow transition to pitching and newfound love for the ground and the mound. This rivalry does not seem to have limited the team’s success, as Kravitz has been heard trying to sell cars to Garbage on multiple occasions in live interviews.

Fun Facts

  • Felix Garbage is the sibling of Canada Moist Talkers player Eugenia Garbage.
  • Garbage has, on numerous occasions, vented on the prominence of earthquakes in the Infinite LAs, as a result of his hatred of the ground.
  • Garbage occasionally uses a trash can lid with two handles as his shoes, as a way to perpetuate avoiding touching the ground.

Fan Works