Randall Marijuana

From Blaseball Wiki

Randall "Randy" Marijuana was a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams from Season β1 to Season β6, and a lineup player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands from Season 6, Day 44 to Day 84. Marijuana was incinerated and replaced by Steph Weeks. Marijuana was well-known as both a fan-favorite and a reliably skilled batter.

Official League Records


On Season β4, Day 20, Marijuana hit a much-celebrated two-run home run in the 10th inning against the Mexico City Wild Wings.


During the Season β4 Election Results, Marijuana received the Precognition blessing, increasing Marijuana's batting ability from to .

Final Season

Marijuana was a mainstay on the Idol leaderboard, spending much of the season at the 5th or 6th ranking, due to being both a fan-favorite and a reliable batter that several fans profited from. Marijuana hit 24 home runs across Season 6.

On Season β6, Day 44, Marijuana joined the Breckenridge Jazz Hands after a feedback swap with Hendricks Richardson. He would go on to play just under half a season before his incineration.

During a Season 6, Day 84 game against the Houston Spies, Marijuana was fielding defense at the top of the 5th inning when he was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire. Marijuana was replaced by Steph Weeks. Marijuana was incinerated during an at-bat by Comfort Septemberish, a former Jazz Hands player who (like Marijuana) swapped teams during a feedback event earlier in the season.

Hall Stars Appearance and Release

During the events of Season β10, Day X, Marijuana was raised to join The Hall Stars. Following The Hall Stars' victory over THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS, Marijuana was Released from Internet League Blaseball.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


During his second season, Marijuana was warned by Assistant Coach Nakamura that if he didn't stop striking out so often, his Minecraft save file would be deleted. In a pivotal game against the Canada Moist Talkers, Marijuana struck out, leading to the Sunbeams being Shamed. Coach immediately destroyed Marijuana's save file as a consequence.

Following the Season 4, Day 20 game in which Marijuana hit a home run, he gave an interview (in tears) where he called the moment "the greatest day of my career."

After receiving the Precognition blessing at the end of Season 4, Marijuana gained the ability to see out of his cat's eyes. This ability, combined with being constantly stoned, has resulted in Randy being able to make startlingly accurate predictions about upcoming pitches.

Personal Life

His older brother, Dominic Marijuana, played for the New York Millennials. Randy is named for his grandfather, Randolfus von Marijuana, the man credited as the first to defeat a whale in single combat using a tapered wooden rod instead of the usual harpoon.

Randy formerly played for New York Generation Z, the Battin’ Island Blittle League team, before running away to join the Sunbeams.

Marijuana was often praised for their powerful batting despite their young age. While it's technically against the rules, they made a habit of skateboarding from base to base.

Marijuana lived simultaneously on Fifth and, tragically, in the Hellmouth. During Season β4, his Hellmouth apartment was vandalized by what later forensic reports summarized as "anywhere between one and infinite cats". Following debate with his team-mates, Marijuana went on to own exactly one cat.

Off the field, Marijuana was known to wear windbreakers in garish colors, reminiscent of teens of decades past. They were an avid fan of Minecraft, weed, and friend and former teammate Alaynabella Hollywood.

Marijuana was a fan of Miami Dale player Peanut Bong.

Transfer to Jazz Hands

After Marijuana was swapped to the Jazz Hands due to Feedback, he heard a story of famous trumpeter Llouis Slatchmo smuggling his namesake through customs with the assistance of the President. Marijuana became infatuated with Slatchmo, and learned to play the trumpet as a result.


On Season 6, Day 84, Marijuana was observed to be particularly anxious, insofar as Marijuana could be anxious. When asked to explain his state, he responded that it was "nothing, maybe." It is unclear if this was related to his eventual incineration, though speculators have noted that Marijuana behaved similarly on Season 6, Day 44, when he sat in teammate Alaynabella Hollywood’s seat immediately before the Feedback event. Hollywood would later respond to fans trying to relate the two events that, at the time, she believed Marijuana’s behavior was “just Randy being Randy.”

When a rogue umpire incinerated Marijuana, eyewitnesses reported seeing a miniature version of the Hellmouth materialize beneath Marijuana as they were set ablaze. Across the country in New York, reports of a sudden increase in temperature localized to the apartment building housing Dominic Marijuana began to circulate, and the older Marijuana suddenly reduced his public appearances. These reports ceased as abruptly as they began, and Dominic Marijuana soon returned to the spotlight. When asked about his brief disappearance in an interview, the Millennials captain only replied, "I hoped they could stay. We both did. But they knew where they needed to be."

Marijuana is remembered through the Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café. Rumors of his continued presence on the internet have been reported, but remain unsubstantiated.

Fan Works