Schneider Bendie

From Blaseball Wiki

Schneider Bendie is a lineup player for the New York Millennials, and has been with the team since the Season β16 elections. Bendie has played for the Boston Flowers.

Official League Records

Bendie joined the ILB as a lineup player for the New York Millennials with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Coffee Cup, Bendie played for Atlético Latte as a pitcher.

Bendie was traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Glabe Moon during the Season β14 elections via the Flowers' Exchange will.

Bendie was traded back to the New York Millennials in exchange for Glabe Moon during the Season β16 elections via the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will.

During the Season β20 elections, Bendie became a pitcher in exchange for Castillo Turner as a result of the Millennials' Swap Will.

On Season β22, Day 102, Bendie retreated to the Millennials' Shadows in exchange for Anathema Elemefayo as a result of New York, New York Arena, Arena's Fax Machine.

During the Season β22 elections, Bendie gained the Negative modification as a result of the Darkside Flip blessing.

On Season β23, Day 45, Bendie joined the Millennials' lineup in exchange for Munro Tumblehome at New York, New York Arena, Arena via the Ratified Voicemail.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Bendie is known for their swooping pink emo bangs, standoffish demeanour, and thick Queens accent. They are Jewish, go by they/them pronouns, and prefer to be referred to by “Bendie” rather than their first name.

Blaseball Career

Many assume Bendie to have joined Blaseball in order to organize it from the inside, a rumour they endorse. However, other rumours state that it was an accident. Bendie is known to have Fire blood; word has it that they burned their Blaseball contract in an act of protest and the Fire blood made the action count as a signature in blood, binding their soul to the splort.

They dislike the splort, saying it is “exploitative [...] emblematic of hierarchical, oppressive, capitalist systems” and are vocally anti-Gods, anti-Commissioner, and so on. However, they acknowledge that “hit ball fun”.

They have a contentious relationship with the umpires and have been warned multiple times for saying “fuck capitalism, steal home” while sliding into home plate. During Season β4, Day 33, facing off against the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Bendie finally stole home for the first time, fulfilling their famous catchphrase.

During the Coffee Cup, on Day 8, while Bendie was pitching a game for Atlético Latte against the Society Data Witches, they were noted by spectators to be tweeting at fellow Millennials player Andrew Solis while on the mound[1]. It is unclear whether this possible distraction can be blamed for Atlético losing the match 2-4.

After twenty-four seasons in Blaseball, Bendie Nullified Sun 30 on a scoring play with teammate Sandie Turner. Soon afterwards, teammate Thomas Dracaena would nullify the All You Can Eat Decree, and the Millennials themselves would melt The Coin, fulfilling the oft-repeated promise of Millennials destroying the economy. Due to the end of the world, Bendie could not be reached for comment on these events, but it is not hard to imagine what they would say.

Bendie mentors Adelaide "Lucky" Mollo of the New York Blittle League.

Bendie and the Fax Machine

A better pitcher than batter, Bendie nonetheless detests throwing the ball. It is unknown whether their absolute refusal to stay on the pitcher’s mound is their form of direct action against the game.

After being moved to the pitching rotation, Bendie fled to Elsewhere in Season 21. Their continued absence into Season 22 facilitated the birth of Pitching Machine. Bendie returned from Elsewhere afterwards, then Faxed out during the Millennials’ Underbracket run, never to return to the pitching rotation.

Personal Life

While they are not strongly observant, Bendie was raised Jewish and considers it an important part of their identity, politics and worldview. In light of the appearance of beings referred to as gods in the Internet League and the deicide policies adopted by some in reaction, Bendie has said,

"Listen, obviously that big nut isn't the God. I think they would have mentioned God being a giant screaming peanut at some point. Do I believe in--I don't know, but who cares? What's important is that that peanut is trying to tell us what to do and I'm not gonna stand for it. I'll argue with a god. I don't give a fuck. That's the whole point, right? They give you these laws, and then you argue with them. I did that at my b’nai mitzvah. What I'm saying is, god or not, I’m gonna fight it."

Despite their complicated feelings on gods, Bendie still considers their traditions important, and they try to observe holidays whenever possible.

Bendie invited their rabbi to the New York Millennials vs. the Coin case. He couldn't come, due to the court case being in Hellmouth, but he was reportedly proud of Bendie for actually getting into a court case with (a) god (lowercase).

Politics

With a league-best anticapitalism stat of 1.2, Schneider Bendie was already a committed anarchist before joining the Millennials. Their interest in radical politics began with metal band System of a Down. The song "BYOB" forever changed the way Bendie saw class and international politics.

Their political consciousness expanded as they delved deeper into underground DIY scenes. The reemergence of zine culture through Tumblr gave Bendie community to orient their politics around. They made and distributed zines, and maintained several long-running feuds with other zinesters up and down the East Coast, publishing scathing reviews of their works under incredibly transparent pseudonyms.

In a response to an ask on their since-deleted Tumblr, Bendie talked about their shift away from a reactionary politic and towards a radical one. They said the strength of online community encouraged them to join an anarchist cooperative in real life. The cooperative is known now as "The Base Stealerz", which Bendie says they hate but everyone else finds very funny.

Early in Blaseball, Bendie campaigned to let their fellow Jewish Blaseball players take Shabbat off, saying, "I don't do the whole no working on Shabbat thing myself, but it's the principle of the thing." Due to the unresting policy of Blaseball, this failed, and so Bendie simply added it to their very long list of complaints against Blaseball management, whoever that might be.

Following the incineration of teammate Chorby Soul and a subsequent increase in their anticapitalism stlat to 20% beyond the theoretical maximum mid-Season β3, Bendie began openly questioning the structure of the league and attempting to unionize players, with some success. Their open calls to riot against the violence of umpires have drawn the attention of the Commissioner.[2]

Bendie has been arrested multiple times for libel, slander, violation of copyright law, participating in protests, petty theft, arson, and vandalism. Interestingly, they have never been convicted, through a combination of community outrage, destruction of evidence, and divine intervention-- can’t play blaseball from jail.

Rumours of Poetic Soul

A teammate who wished to remain anonymous told reporters about a book of poems which Bendie keeps in their locker. When asked about it later, Bendie simply shrugged.

List of Known Enemies

This list is incomplete; you can help by expanding it.

The Base Stealerz

The Base Stealerz perform as a punk band with whichever members are free on gig night. Set lists include songs from System of a Down, Bomb the Music Industry!, the Seattle Garages (band), Green Day, and Paramore, as well as original works. In a now-archived Tumblr post, Bendie said that they "are currently searching for a better name for the group."

History

Created after the Return of Blaseball, The Base Stealerz was founded as a mutual-aid cooperative in response to the displacement of citizens who had previously resided in areas of New York City that became unlivable due to Blaseball-related phenomena, such as Staten Island rising into the sky to become Battin’ Island.

After it was found that many of The Base Stealerz (co-op) loved music, a band with the same name was formed. Bendie is a singer and guitarist for The Base Stealerz (band).

As seasons passed, The Base Stealerz (band) performed less and less frequently, with members citing inclement weather, incinerations, demoralization from the Millennials doing poorly in Blaseball, the crushing grip of capitalism, and miscellaneous obligations. The band officially went on indefinite hiatus following the Grand Siesta, though the co-op remained active.

Since Bendie’s time in Boston, the Base Stealerz (band) have returned from hiatus, boasting new members in bass guitarist Salih Ultrabass, lead guitarist Jacob Haynes, synthesist Zesty Yaboi, and singer Dunn Keyes.

Time with the Boston Flowers

Bendie met then-Flowers player Glabe Moon during a heist and became fast friends with her, though the two often squabble over the merits of caffeinated beverages. According to a player who wished to remain anonymous, one such argument became so heated that it jeopardized the heist they were on, resulting in both players needing places to hide from the law.

Despite being an unexpected newcomer to the Boston Flowers, Bendie was given a warm welcome. They spent their time raising anarchy and jamming out with the other new member of the Flowers, Salih Ultrabass.

In Boston, Bendie took up environmental anarchism and eco-activism. Despite their cooperative’s best efforts in New York, things had always managed to get worse, with both capitalism and Blaseball accelerating to intolerable levels. Boston was a breath of fresh air for Bendie, giving them perspective on new ways to approach activism.

While indulging their caffeine dependency one night at an underground coffeehouse, Bendie saw Ultrabass perform a song that Bendie had written while singing for the Base Stealerz. The experience reignited their desire to play, while simultaneously making them realize that their burnout from activism stemmed, in part, from their departure from music and other lighthearted pursuits.

Bendie still commutes to Boston regularly for practices and performances with the revamped Base Stealerz, a once-unthinkable feat that has been made simple by the Boston-NY Exchange Program. They never fail to return with coffee from Boston, which “tastes cooler, because it’s illegal,” though no other Millennials report any differences between “illegal” and regular coffee.

Relationships

Dominic Marijuana and Chorby Soul

Bendie had always been close to Dominic Marijuana, whom they admired, and Chorby Soul, a close friend since college activism days. The three sluggers bonded over their love of psychoactive flora.

On Season 3, Day 14, Soul was incinerated in an act of self-sacrifice, saving Marijuana from an umpire’s flames. Afterwards, Marijuana and Bendie were reportedly closer, though some say they were driven apart with the arrival of Andrew Solis.

In Season 7, during the Millennials’ first game against the Garages, Bendie hit a solo home run to tie the game and send it into extra innings. In the eleventh inning, Dominic Marijuana was hit by a pitch by the Garages’ Jaylen Hotdogfingers, marking him Unstable. While the Millennials would eventually win the game, Marijuana would be incinerated four days later.

Since then, Bendie has been quiet on the manner of their relationship. They have refused to speak about Marijuana outright ever since Season 10, Day X, when Marijuana played for the Hall Stars, defeated The Shelled One, and was Released.

Chorby Soul was resurrected briefly in Boston before being traded immediately to the Crabs in the election of Season 16. In this same election, Bendie departed Boston and returned to the Millennials. Bendie has refused to comment on whether there was any overlap between Soul’s time in Boston and their own.

Due to the nature of “trios” in Blaseball, some have speculated that Marijuana, Soul, and Bendie formed a trio, and were thus ill-fated from Season 1. If nothing else, the love and care the players showed each other while alive can be seen as proof.

Andrew Solis

Bendie was initially hostile towards Solis following his Feedback to the team in Season β6, stating that they were uncertain of Solis’s motivations and how they would interact with the rest of the team.[3] However, over time, these hostilities lessened and the relationship became more friendly, though still rooted in a spirit of (now light-hearted) antagonism. In more recent years, the two appear to be dating. Some have pointed to Bendie’s time on the Flowers, followed by Solis’s time on the Worms, as signs that the two were “taking a break”, but neither have responded to requests for comment on this.

Dunlap Figueroa

The exact nature of the relationship between Figueroa and Bendie is hotly contested by anyone who’s ever known either player. Some report love, others report hate, still others report passionate disinterest. However, it cannot be denied that the two know each other, speak to each other regularly when on speaking terms, and even room with each other during series.

Wyatt Mason IX

Bendie, like many of the Millennials, had enjoyed their time as a mentor of sorts to NaN, relishing in the opportunity to be a bad/good influence on the young void. NaN had shown them Undertlale, and Bendie had encouraged NaN’s natural anticapitalism, believing that their status as “Not A Number” gave them an inherent strength against the number-loving Coin.

Needless to say, when someone calling themself Wyatt Mason appeared in the Apartment during the Season 14 Latesiesta, there was some confusion. However, Bendie, along with their fellow Mills, quickly found themself getting attached to “Nines” much as they had to NaN. In Mason IX’s short time on the team, he was known to enjoy friendly banter as well as enthusiastic discussions of Judaism, labour organizing, and accessibility in activism with Bendie.

Abner Pothos

Many have initially assumed the relationship between Pothos and Bendie to be hostile, judging from the way the two seem to start arguing whenever they’re in the same location for too long. However, when questioned on this, Bendie said “Oh, no, this is fun. I’m having a great time,” rolled their eyes dramatically, and then resumed their argument with Pothos over how gender-neutral pronouns should be translated into Hebrew.

Salih Ultrabass

Ultrabass and Bendie bonded quickly while in Boston over a shared love of coffee and music. While Ultrabass tended more to the softer sides of rock, the two managed to blend their musical styles to give the Base Stealerz an updated sound. Though Bendie has since returned to New York, the two remain close, and Bendie often commutes to Boston to see Ultrabass or vice versa, even outside of band practice.

Zeboriah Wilson

Wilson’s calm and collected demeanour provided a good balance to Bendie’s fiery nature, and during Bendie’s time in Boston, they were often seen assisting Wilson in his gardening. Wilson returned the favour by helping Bendie establish communal food gardens throughout Boston, all based on the Zeb Garden’s seedbank.

Upon returning to New York, Bendie’s activism has expanded to include the need for “safe seed” banks and gardens.

Zesty Yaboi

Bendie was roped in to one of Yaboi’s streams early in their career on the Flowers, stating that “Winnie made me be on her podcast before. It’s probably not that different.” It was, in fact, pretty different, but Bendie reportedly enjoyed the experience nonetheless. They and Yaboi continued to spend time exploring new avenues of social media together, and Bendie eventually invited her to play synth in the Base Stealerz.

Trivia

  • Bendie loves cats.
  • Bendie can pick any lock in under a minute.
  • Bendie is afraid of the dark and airplanes.
  • Bendie loves spiders.
  • Bendie likes orchids.
  • Bendie’s hobbies include reading and writing poetry, volunteering at an animal shelter, playing video games, and mixing cassettes “like it’s 1995”.


Fan Works

References

  1. https://twitter.com/justbendie/status/1331390377522294785
  2. https://twitter.com/blaseballcomms/status/1294286128543985667
  3. “The vibes are weird! They’re weird and I don’t like it.” -Bendie, Schneider. Season 6.