Monitor

From Blaseball Wiki

Squid.png

The Monitor (also known as The Hall Monitor, The Squid, or Binky) is an entity of unknown origin and intention, and is currently serving as the Concessions Food, Beverage, Tourism and Gift Shop Manager[1]. The Monitor first appeared at the end of the Season 7 regular season, and floated up and down while displaying cryptic messages in a glowing blue lowercase serif font. While The Monitor is on the site, no games can be viewed, no items can be purchased, and no ballots can be cast.

The Monitor is believed to be related to other cryptic messages from The Microphone due to The Monitor's Season 7 messages and Ump Sunman's familiarity[2] with the entity. Many players find it vastly preferable to The Shelled One.

History of Appearances

Season 7

At the end of the regular season (Friday, September 18, 2020), The Monitor appeared following a series of ominous messages from The Shelled One. It delivered the following messages:

who was that
is it an egg
never ate an egg before
where is hotdogfingers
followed hotdogfingers here
from the hall
from the trench
i am gonna watch
see if that egg comes back

It then stayed on the site for a prolonged period of time, displaying no message, before the site eventually returned to normal.

Season 7 Elections

Typically, when Election results are released, The Shelled One appears to chastise fans. For the Season 7 election results, The Monitor appeared instead to announce the introduction of the Hall of Flame.

that egg come back yet?
wonder what it tastes like
hey what is that you got there?
tiny eggs?
give em to me
i want em
i will make you a deal
you want to see your friends?

From this transmission, it's clear that The Monitor is confusing eggs and peanuts, and is referring to the stores of peanuts many players were given following the introduction of The Monitor earlier in the season.

Season 8 Midseason

Following the conclusion of all games taking place on Day 32 of Season 8, the Monitor appeared with no warning and stated the following:

that egg still not back?
shame
you like seeing your friends?
you can see em all you want
just keep those eggs coming
hurry up
this one at a time thing is killing me
shovel em in there

After the site returned, the Hall of Flame was updated with a slider introduced for tributing peanuts in bulk.

Season 8 Regular Season Conclusion

After The Shelled One delivered a message admonishing fans for offering peanuts as tribute at the Hall of Flame, The Monitor appeared with a new message.

hey wait come back
damn
what happened to your friends
are they eggs now?
hmm
still hungry

Season 9 Regular Season Conclusion

During Season 9, on the idol board, instead of there being a dotted red line, instead there was a tiny graphic of The Monitor that was placed to the left of the top most Shelled player. At the end of the Season 9 Regular Season, the Monitor appeared to address this.

let's see here...
egg time
*crunch*
wait yuck
think that egg spoiled
hmm
still hungry
need something more filling
you holding out on me?
better do something

Once The Monitor left, PolkaDot Patterson had been unshelled and given the Modification Squiddish.

Season 9, Day X

See the main article on this topic: Day X

Following the conclusion of the battle between the Charleston Shoe Thieves and The Shelled One on Day X, The Monitor appeared, much later than was needed to assist with the attack from The Shelled One.

did i miss something?
shoot
let me know next time

Season 10, Day X

Immediately after The Hall Stars defeated THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS in battle, The Monitor appeared to claim its final victory.

*cronch*
hmm
kinda bland
you all eat these?
what's the point
oh well
deal's a deal
oh almost forgot
Boss is on her way
you might want to clean up a bit

Season 10 Elections

After the ending of The Discipline Era, the Monitor came to greet fans and introduce a new character, Boss.

hey
Boss is here
she'll be right with you
oh here she is

Season 11 Elections

Preceding the Season 11 elections, The Monitor appeared to give one last message before the Grand Siesta.

hey
how'd the election go
oh you haven't seen it yet?
oh
yeah i could eat
good book
got a message from the Boss
uh
what was it again
oh yea
your fates are sealed
or something
anyway
siesta
everyone get some rest
big plans ahead
expansion time
oh and do me a favor
don't send tillman back

Season 12 Preseason

At the end of the Grand Siesta, The Monitor briefly appeared as Blaseball reopened.

oh hey
you're back
you want some snacks?

Season 13 Gods' Day









Several hours after the Season 12 elections, The Monitor had an announcement, while wearing a chef's hat:

hey
new snacks
pretzels got wet
sorry
hope its ok

Season 14 Gods' Day

Several hours after the Season 13 elections, The Monitor had an announcement:

tides rising
boss says we gotta get this food out
don't want it to spoil

Season 14 Earlseason

Shortly before Season 14, Day 8, The Monitor briefly appeared:

hey
you see the boss anywhere?
what's the plan
kitchen's swamped
gonna attract pests

Following this, the site was updated with the ability to reorganize snacks in player inventories and to sell only part of a stack of snacks.

Season 14 Earlsiesta

Following the Boss's abrupt departure during the Season 14 Earlsiesta, The Monitor appeared:

wait
uh
uh oh

Season 14 Endseason

Following Season 14, Day 99, The Monitor had an announcement:

uh hey
i guess i should read this
aldon cashmoney
york silk
valentine games
nagomi mcdaniel
goodwin morin
sexton wheerer
uncle plasma
liquid friend
pitching machine
congratulations

Season 14 Election

Preceding the Season 14 elections, The Monitor appeared to deliver a brief announcement.

pests
wonderful
is this my job
only got so many hands here
somebody better do something

Season 15 Opener

Before Season 15, Day 1, The Monitor appeared to try and get the Boss's attention before they left.

uh boss
kinda in over my head here
hello
oh great
they sent the fish back

Following The Monitor's departure, Salmon Weather was spotted at the first Miami Dale at Atlantis Georgias game of the season.

Season 17 Elections

In yet another surprise promotion by Boss, Monitor was given the title Food & Beverage Director and Tour Guide. In response, it said:

wait what

Season 18 Elections

The Monitor showed up after the Season 18 elections to announce the availability of new snacks.

uh
what's happening
i made fries

Season 19 Endseason

Following Season 19, Day 99, the Monitor appeared to apologize for the Latesiesta mishap and announce the season's MVPs.

uh hey
grabbed brooms by mistake earlier
kinda juggling a lot right now
got promoted again
they keep promoting me
also who are the data witches
anyway sorry
will try to make it up to you
they told me to read this
james mora
valentine games
wyatt glover
paula turnip
also
"nucleosynthesis"
no idea what that means

Season 20 Opener

At the beginning of Season 20, the Monitor reacted to the Alaskan Immortals being revealed in the Library as well as Pudge Nakamoto roaming out of the Hall of Flame.

hey
haven't checked the hall in a bit
been kinda busy
immortals huh
guess not
wait where's pudge

Season 21 Earlsiesta

During the Season 21 Earlsiesta, the Monitor appeared to introduce the addition to the Gift Shop of Uncle Plasma and Liquid Friend Replicas.

hey
new gifts
some of these are heavy
hmm
these ones are weird
"dynamic duo"
"1 of 2"
"complete the set"
who makes this stuff
anyway
break time
i need a snack

Season 21 Lateseason

The Monitor appeared following the conclusion of games on Season 21 day 75, after the breach of the Bad Gateway by the Ohio Worms unleashed a torrent of Herring.

something smells fishy
woah
herring
my favorite
how did you know
good hunch

Season 22 Latesiesta

During the Season 22 Latesiesta, after some words from the Boss, the Monitor appeared to announce the addition of Pickled Herring to Concessions.

oh hey
you like seafood
gotta offload this herring
before it goes bad
fish is on the menu

Season 23 Latesiesta

The Monitor appeared during the Season 23 Latesiesta with some words about the upcoming Semi-Centennial.

hey
celebration huh
they're all playing?
rising stars
all of them
sounds exhausting
hope there's fireworks
anyway
more gifts from your friends
seems like junk

Season 24

The monitor appeared after the Boss's speech at the beginning of Season 24.

uh... hey
sun exploded
hot in here
can't stand the heat
what are they doing
haven't even had a break
i miss the trench
sorry about your sundaes

They appeared again after the Kansas City Breath Mints and Hawai'i Fridays were incinerated in order to welcome them to the Hall.

the breath mints.
follow me
take a break
beat the heat
in the trench
it's cool there
oh and pudge
door's always open

hey
it's island time
come with me
to the trench
the vibes are right

After the Commissioner's call to action, the Monitor voiced their support.

hey
commish called
all hands on deck

The Monitor greeted the Canada Moist Talkers after they reached Pulsar (Pulsar).

hey talkers
how did you get here?
slippery
your pals are inside
can't let you in yet
busy
aiding the others
but stay near

During the Season 24 Latesiesta, the Monitor had finally had enough.

no
bad news boss
i quit
oh hey
i can let you in now
or out, i guess
just sneak out
i'm off duty
get out there
you're on deck
close up shop


  1. The Commissioner [@blaseball] (28 Feb 2021). "congratulations to our new food and beverage director" (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  2. Ump Sunman [ump_sunman#6346] (18 September 2020) "SQUID? UH MONITOR?" (Message) - via #hot-corner, Blaseball Discord.