Charleston Shoe Thieves
The Charleston Shoe Thieves are an Internet League Blaseball team in the Mild Low division of the Mild League. They have been a part of the League since Season A. The Shoe Thieves were previously in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League.
For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Charleston Shoe Thieves Players.
For a list of individual season pages, see List of Charleston Shoe Thieves Seasons.
The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)
|Season||Record||Place in Subleague||Postseason||Elections|
|2||50-49||4th||ILB Finalists||The Yes Plz! Blessing, improved the Shoe Thieves' hitting by 10%.|
The Grand Unslam granted 2 Wins to the Shoe Thieves
|2nd||Eliminated Round 1
L 1-3 vs. San Francisco Lovers
|The Philly Pies sent Kevin Dudley to the Shoe Thieves with Go Away! They took Forrest Bookbaby in return.|
|4||51-48||4th||Eliminated Round 1
L 1-3 vs. Chicago Firefighters
|5||46-53||7th||The High Filter Decree moved the Shoe Thieves to the Mild Low division.|
|7||56-43||2nd||Eliminated Round 1
L 2-3 vs. Seattle Garages
|11||59-42||2nd||Eliminated Round 1
L 2-3 vs. Seattle Garages
|The Shoe Thieves were assigned the Arcana X The Wheel of Fortune.|
The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)
|Season||Record||Place in Subleague||Postseason||Elections|
|Mild League Finalists|
|14||36 (37-62)||12th||The Shoe Thieves benefited from the newly introduced This Team will receive an Extra Will in the upcoming Election..
|Eliminated Round 2||
Turntables was introduced.
|3rd||Eliminated Round 2
L 0-3 vs. Yellowstone Magic
|20||46 (46-53)||8th||Underbracket: Eliminated Round 2|
|23||67 (57-42)||3rd||Overbracket: Eliminated Round 2
L 0-3 vs. Seattle Garages
|24||30 (58-40)||N/A||No Elections took place.|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For an in-depth look at the Shoe Thieves' history, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/History.
The Charleston Shoe Thieves are from Charleston. They are known for stealing shoes, especially from rival teams. The Shoe Thieves are also known as "the second gayest team in Blaseball" after losing the top spot to the New York Millennials in a game of paper scissors rock. They have a long-standing friendship with the Halifax-based Canada Moist Talkers, with whom they have traded players no fewer than fives times.
The team originally formed as a front for a heist, led by legendary master thief Cornelius Games. Once they realized that they were somewhat competent at the game, the team continued to play professionally. The current roster is a mixture of Games' original crew, professional blaseball players, and Gunther.
Shoes Thieves signal to each other by holding up coded shoes.
The Choux Stadium is a French Patisserie in the forest of Mt. Pleasant, although its exact location is unknown. The stadium is maintained by a team of mysterious Gnomes who seemed to appear not long after the stadium was established. Their role in the disappearance of patrons' shoes is unconfirmed. Rumours that the gnomes are just mutant raccoons are unsubstantiated.
The Shoe Thieves do not have a traditional owner. Ownership of the team is distributed among every patron of the Choux Stadium and returned upon exit.
- General Manager: Cornelius Games functions as the team's general manager, as well as being their ace pitcher.
- Manager: You!
- Pitching Coach: After their unfortunate delacing, Matteo Prestige's spirit became trapped in the upper decks of Choux Stadium. In between cries of eternal anguish, the spirit can be heard coaching the team's pitching staff. They have been given the honorary title of head pitching coach as a result.
- Chief Marine Biologist and Legal Council: Holden Milk makes sure that if a shoe thief is ever caught, no one ever sets foot in court.
For a more in-depth look at Shoe Thieves fan culture, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/Fan Culture
Fans of the Charleston Shoe Thieves are also known as "Accomplices" or "Thieves". There is an emphasis on mutual respect, supporting fellow thieves, and the search for fresh kicks. The most common chant heard from fans is a call and response: "Whose Kicks? / Our Kicks!"
Following the Grand Unslam, the Charleston Shoe Thieves did not gain any performance stars as the result of a feedback trade (or set of single game feedback trades,) between the advent of feedback in Season 4 and Day 63 of Season 9, despite being affected by feedback six times over five seasons. This string of bad luck was attributed to a splorts curse brought into effect by an entity or entities affiliated with the city of Los Angeles or the Unlimited Tacos to punish the Shoe Thieves for their role in opening the Bad Gateway and shattering the city of Los Angeles into the infinite Los Angeli. In a statement to press regarding the curse, Shoe Thieves pitcher and general manager Cornelius Games noted that the team “...bear no ill will toward the Tacos or the city of Los Angeles. We don't even know that there is a curse, or that Los Angeles is its source. Our sins are manifold and we are unrepentant. We will not be returning Wyatt Mason's 1985 Air Jordans.”
The curse was broken on Day 63 of Season 9, when Beasley Gloom was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers for Jaylen Hotdogfingers. Fans have speculated that Jaylen's relationship to The Microphone, an entity closely associated with the Grand Unslam, may have had some bearing on the breaking of the curse.
Following their defeat at the hands of the Shelled One's Pods, the Shoe Thieves acquired the Flinch and Mild curses. Hitters afflicted by the Flinch curse cannot swing until a strike has been thrown in the At Bat. Pitchers with Mild will occasionally throw a mild pitch, which counts as a ball but causes all runners on base to advance.
The Shelled One is known to have asserted that players defeated by the pods would receive five curses. It is therefore possible that the Shoe Thieves are subject to several as-yet undetected curses.
Stu Stole Home 2
On Day 71 of Season 2, in a game against the New York Millennials, Trololol again stole fourth base in the bottom of the 8th inning to secure a 6-5 win for the Shoe Thieves.
The Grand Unslam
See the main article on The Grand Unslam.
Gunther's Great Heist
On Day 97 of Season 4, Gunther O'Brian holds the Hawai'i Fridays to only a single run and secures the Shoe Thieves' place in the playoffs.
Beasley's Boss Battle
On Day 63 of Season 5, Beasley Gloom pitched 14 great innings against the Chicago Firefighters, holding them to only three runs, then Esme Ramsey hit a home run to shame them in the bottom of the 14th.
Dudley Shames Dudley
See the main article on Dudley Shames Dudley.
On Day 76 of Season 5, Wesley Dudley scored the winning run in the bottom of the 10th inning, shaming Shoe Thieves pitcher Kevin Dudley.
Gunther's Supercharged Shutout
On Day 22 of Season 6, Gunther O'Brian pitches his first shut out against the Canada Moist Talkers in a 10-0 stomping.
Workman's Last Stand
On Day 81 of Season 7, Canada Moist Talkers batter Workman Gloom was tragically incinerated to repay a debt. Though no longer a Shoe Thief, accomplices celebrated their accomplishments and mourned their incineration alongside Moist Talkers fans all the same. In the bottom of the 4th inning, Gloom posthumously hit a solo home run, bringing the Moist Talkers out of a 1-1 tie. Gloom's heroic final run stands as a testament to their dedication and skill to the splort of Blaseball.
The Double Swap
On Day 44 of Season 8, the Canada Moist Talkers and Charleston Shoe Thieves (an already infamous pair with respect to player trades) were the first teams to ever experience two Feedback swaps in one game. On Day 40, Eugenia Garbage had been hit by a pitch and began Flickering. In a later game against the Shoe Thieves, still flickering, Garbage was swapped for Lachlan Shelton in the bottom of the 2nd inning. Garbage played for the Shoe Thieves in the top of the 4th inning, before being swapped again in the top of the 7th for Moist Talker Simon Haley. By the end of the transaction only two players ended up on different teams, but Garbage was moved to the top of the Moist Talker's lineup, where previously they had been second to last.
Stu Stole Ascension
In Game 5 of the Season 9 Internet Series, Stu Trololol hit a three-run home run in the bottom of the 9th inning to secure the internet series title, shame the Baltimore Crabs and prevent them from ascending. Due to the application of the Shame Bubble blessing at the end of Season 9, the shame from this home run carried over into the following season.
Logo by Cobaltcakes
Art by Josh Millard
Season 9 lineup by @lizzybutt
The Shoe Thieves as of Season 11 by @solphy
The Shoe Thieves relaxing during the Season 11 Grand Siesta by @solphy
|Stats||Season||1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · Full List|
|Circuits||Gamma 1 · Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4|
|Events||The Grand Unslam · Day X|
|Staff||Cornelius Games · Matteo Prestige · Sneaker Pete · Holden Milk|
|Places||Charleston · The Beck And Call · Sunken Charleston Remembrance Obelisk|
|History||Charleston Shoe Thieves' History · Fan Awards|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|Your Kicks are Our Kicks.|