Atlas Jonbois

Atlas Jonbois
Basic Information
Former Team(s)	Charleston Shoe Thieves
Status	Incinerated
Batting	(1.0)
Pitching	(2.9)
Defense	(3.9)
Running	(1.2)
Items	None
Dates Active	Aug 5, 2020
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Coffee Style	Latte
Blood Type	Acidic
Fate	72

Atlas Jonbois was a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and was with the team from Season β3, Day 40 until being incinerated on Season 3, Day 43.

Official League Records

Jonbois joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves on Season β3, Day 40 after the incineration of Sebastian Townsend.

On Season β3, Day 43, Jonbois was incinerated and replaced by Sebastian Woodman.

At four games played and three games started, Jonbois was the longtime record holder for the shortest career in ILB history, before being surpassed by Kiki Familia of the Canada Moist Talkers, who played 5 innings across two games.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Not much is known about the roadmaps that made up the entirety of Jonbois's body, but they appeared to navigate exclusively to Sunken Charleston.

Atlas Jonbois was formerly a tram operator, introduced to the splort of blaseball when they were wrangled into posing as Charleston Shoe Thieves pitcher Cornelius Games during the Season β2 Finals. While their performance as a pitcher was abysmal, they absently tried hitting a few balls for practice after the game and were discovered to be a somewhat competent hitter by the team, putting them in position to be recruited as a replacement lineup player following the Incineration of Sebastian Townsend

When asked about their hopes for new player Atlas Jonbois, the entirety of the Charleston Shoe Thieves responded in deafening unison, "Atlas is big and strong and is my friend."

Everyone is fairly sure that Jonbois would have specialized in stealing ballet shoes, but they never got the chance to officially steal shoes for the team.

In Literature

Following Jonbois's incineration, team eulogist Thacker H. composed "The Ballad of Atlas Jonbois" in their honor:

Well, let me tell you of the story of a map named Atlas

A hitter we barely knew

They kissed the trams farewell, and entered Choux Stadium

To cheer for the Thievin' Shoe

[Chorus]

Well, did they ever return?

No they never returned, and their fate is still unlearned

They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston

They're the map who never returned

Atlas took a wrong turn into the players' dugout

And Cornelius needed relief

Their pitching career was not fated to prosper

But Atlas became a Shoe Thief

[Chorus]

After three short games as a Shoe Thieves slugger

We said "you’re big and strong and my friend!"

But when a rogue umpire lit those maps on fire

Atlas saw their lifetime end

[Chorus]

Now all night long Atlas rides through Sunken Charleston

On a spectral tram they navigate

But their heart is full of blaseball dreams and stolen kicks

Atlas Jonbois will never bow to fate

Well, did they ever return?

No they never returned, and their fate is still unlearned

They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston

They're the map who never returned

Fan Works

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  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky