Stew Briggs

From Blaseball Wiki

Stew Briggs was a player in the Shadows for the Hades Tigers and was with the team from the Season β23 elections until Fall Ball. Briggs has previously played for the Kansas City Breath Mints, Charleston Shoe Thieves, Houston Spies, and Ohio Worms.

Official League Records

Briggs joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints on Season β4, Day 14 after the incineration of Whit Steakknife.

On Season β8, Day 33, Briggs's hitting ability was siphoned by Mexico City Wild Wings lineup player Joshua Watson in a game with Blooddrain weather.

On Season β10, Day 36, Briggs's defensive ability was siphoned by Boston Flowers lineup player Glabe Moon in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Season β10 elections, Briggs received the Repeating modification as a result of the Rogue Waves blessing.

On Season β12, Day 24, Briggs swallowed a peanut and had a allergic reaction.

During the Season β13 election, Briggs gained the Roamin' modification and wandered to the Houston Spies due to the Breath Mints' Revoke will.

During the Season β15 elections, Briggs wandered to the Charleston Shoe Thieves due to their Roamin' modification.

During the Season β18 elections, Briggs wandered to the Ohio Worms due to their Roamin' modification.

During the Season β20 elections, Briggs gained the Green Light modification as a result of the Green Light blessing.

On Season β22, Day 25, Briggs retreated to the Worms' Shadows in exchange for Clove Mahle at Wapakoneta Air, Space, and Worm Museum and Ballpark via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season β23 elections, Briggs wandered to the Hades Tigers due to their Roamin' modification.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Stew Briggs is a renaissance reenactor who joined the Internet Blaseball League to round out her acting experience, mainly at the behest of her college friend, Whit Steakknife. She is an experienced actress, juggler and fencer, and wants to be viewed as a consommate professional in her work. She typically has pieces of mint breathmints in her beard, and her socks are often wet with broth. She has a stocky build, partly from years working on stage lighting.

Briggs and Steakknife were both amateur collegiate blaseball players. During their college years they led their college team the "██████ ████████████ ██████" to many blaseball championships. While both were talented players and scouted by pro blaseball teams for development in the The Underleagues Steakknife was the only one of them to accept an offer. Briggs was a talented actor and Renaissance historian, in part because of her double major in History and Performing Arts, and wanted to pursue opportunities within those fields. Briggs would mostly stick to company or other recreational blaseball leagues to stay in shape and keep her skills up, but did not have an interest in playing blaseball professionally.

After four seasons of professional Blaseball, Steakknife invited Briggs to come see a game in order to help Briggs research a role in an upcoming project. Little did either know it would be the fateful game in which Steakknife would suffer incineration at the hands of a rogue umpire. Witnesses to the event stated that they could hear Steakknife call out in apology to Briggs for the unfortunate and gruesome outcome. Briggs, saddened and enraged by this action, immediately stormed the field put on a Mints uniform and signed on to the team to honor and avenge Steakknife. Briggs's skills from her collegiate days instantly flooded back and she has proven herself as a capable member of the team and leader both on and off the field.

Career with the Spies

Shortly after being fired from the Breath Mints during the Season 13 elections, Stew Briggs was found sitting in the Spies' stadium, and refused to leave until signed to the team. The same day, the Agency issued an order requiring all the other members of the Houston Spies to deny the existence of the Agency and their roles therein in front of Briggs. When the players asked why, the Agency's only response was "we ran a background check." Given that no other Spies transfers have ever been given this treatment, it is unlikely that a background check was the only reason for this.

Briggs found herself on an entirely ordinary Blaseball team that just happened to be called the Houston Spies. She handles a lot of PR and front office work, and is none the wiser. It is, after all, far easier to claim that the Spies are an entirely aboveboard team that does no espionage when you are completely unaware of the existence of said espionage.

Unsubstantiated Rumors

  • Briggs often will appear a bit uncomfortable when there is greater police presence at the game (particularly at games against the Charleston Shoe Thieves); the true reason for this is as of yet unknown, however some speculate that this is because she is an "esteemed character actress and fugitive from the law." When asked by the press for comment, Briggs simply stated, "I don't know who or what a Bojack Horseman is!" And abruptly ended the press conference.
  • Briggs's preferred bat is not corked, but instead filled with the molten remains of Whit Steakknife himself. Note: At least one independent lab tested a sample of the substance but their results were inconclusive.

Fan Works