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The Seattle Garages are a Blaseball team in the Mild High division of the Mild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1. The Garages played in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League until the League was restructured at the end of Season 5.
- Luis Acevedo (traded to the Baltimore Crabs for Oliver Notarobot, Season 7 elections)
- Greer Gwiffin (traded to the Hawai'i Fridays for Nagomi Mcdaniel, Season 12 elections)
- Nagomi Mcdaniel (taken by the Boston Flowers' Shadows for Alaynabella Hollywood, Season 12 elections)
- Pitching Machine (taken by the Ohio Worms for Mindy Kugel, Season 12 elections)
- Paula Turnip (taken by the Hades Tigers for Carmelo Plums, Season 13 elections)
- Goodwin Morin (taken by the Tokyo Lift for Lotus Mango, Season 13 elections)
- Chorby Soul (taken by the New York Millennials for Penelope Mathews, Season 15 elections)
- Lenny Marijuana (taken by the Hades Tigers for Hiroto Wilcox, Season 16 elections)
- Carmelo Plums (traded to the Canada Moist Talkers for York Silk, Season 16 elections)
- Hiroto Wilcox (taken by the Hades Tigers for Lenny Marijuana, Season 17 elections)
- Howell Franklin (taken by the Hellmouth Sunbeams for Brisket Friendo, Season 17 elections)
- Quack Enjoyable (traded to the Hellmouth Sunbeams for Avila Guzman, Season 18 elections)
- Terrell Bradley (traded to the Charleston Shoe Thieves for Oliver Loofah, Season 20 elections)
- Fairwood Patchwork (traded to the Baltimore Crabs for Michelle Sportsman, Season 22 elections)
- Lotus Mango (taken by the Philly Pies, Season 22 elections; no replacement)
- Nolanestophia Patterson (taken by the LA Unlimited Tacos, Season 23 elections; no replacement)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 1 elections; replaced by Derrick Krueger)
- Bennett Browning (Season 3, Day 4; replaced by Tiana Cash)
- Tiana Cash (Season 3, Day 47; replaced by Greer Gwiffin)
- Shaquille Torres (Season 3, Day 74; replaced by Cedric Spliff)
- Derrick Krueger (Season 3, Day 80; replaced by Henry Marshallow)
- Ron Monstera (Season 8 elections; replaced by Durham Spaceman)
- Sparks Beans (Season 19, Day 104; replaced by Lenjamin Zhuge)
- Tot Clark (Season 24, Day 6; replaced by Marion Shriffle)
- Avila Guzman (Season 4, Day 36; replaced by Farrell Seagull)
- Lang Richardson (Season 8, Day 21; replaced by Nolanestophia Patterson)
- Cedric Spliff (Season 8, Day 42; replaced by Quack Enjoyable)
- Allison Abbott (Season 8, Day 56; replaced by Paula Mason)
- Paula Mason (Season 8, Day 71; replaced by Paula Turnip)
- Farrell Seagull (Season 8, Day 102; replaced by Summers Pony)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 7; replaced by Betsy Trombone)
- Henry Marshallow (Season 9; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Ortiz Morse)
- Mindy Kugel (Season 13, Day 64; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Oliver Loofah (Season 16, Day 32; replaced by Howell Franklin)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 17, Day 15; replaced by Fitzgerald Wanderlust)
- Avila Guzman (Season 19, Day 91; replaced by Aldon Cashmoney IV)
Preserved in the Vault
Faded to Dust
Phantom Thieves' Guild Heists
- Lori Boston (Season 23, Day 95, stolen by The Cookout Thieves' Guild)
- Lenny Marijuana (Season 24, Day 30, stolen by The Cookout Thieves' Guild)
For more detailed Season Results, check out the Seattle Garages' Seasons Results Hub.
|Season||Record||Win %||Place in Division||Season Notes|
|1||43-56||.434||5th||The Forbidden Book was opened after this season, resulting in the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers|
|6||53-46||.535||3rd||In the Seattle Garages' first playoff appearance, the team swept the Philly Pies and the Hades Tigers before being swept in the Internet Series by the Baltimore Crabs.|
|7||55-44||.556||2nd||Beat the Charleston Shoe Thieves, then lost to the Mexico City Mild Wings 1-3 in the Mild League Championship Series.|
|8||65-34||.657||1st||Swept by the Philly Pies in the Mild League Divisional Series.|
|9||60-39||.606||1st||Beat the Philly Pies, then lost to the Charleston Shoe Thieves 1-3 in the Mild League Championship Series.|
|11||55-46||.545||1st||Beat the Charleston Shoe Thieves and Yellowstone Magic, before losing to the Hellmouth Sunbeams 1-3 in the Internet Series.|
*Season 1 is missing the results of Day 98 and 99's games. Blaseball has been lost.
In the Season 6 Elections, the Garages won the Lottery Pick and Fireproof Jacket blessings. Lottery Pick brought back deceased star Jaylen Hotdogfingers, and sent Mike Townsend to The Shadows. Fireproof Jacket targeted Oliver Mueller.
In the Season 8 Elections, the Garages won the Forever Physical, Promo Code, Home Field Advantage, and New Kid blessings. Ron Monstera was the target of Forever Physical and New Kid, the latter of which replaced them with Durham Spaceman. Promo Code recruited new pitcher Lori Boston.
In the Season 9 Elections, the Garages won the Secret Weapon, Out of Sight, and Hot Sauce Bar blessings. They were subjected to the Fifth Base and Targeted Shame. Out of Sight brought Mike Townsend and Lenny Marijuana to the rotation, replacing Ortiz Morse and Lori Boston. Out of Sight also brought Sparks Beans onto the lineup, replacing Nolanestophia Patterson. Secret Weapon targeted Shadows pitcher Goodwin Morin. Hot Sauce Bar targeted Theodore Duende.
In the Season 12 elections, the Garages received the Infuse will, increasing the stats of Betsy Trombone, and the Plunder will, trading Greer Gwiffin for Nagomi Mcdaniel. Mcdaniel was then immediately traded again for Alaynabella Hollywood via the Boston Flowers' Exchange will. Finally, the The Best Defense blessing turned Goodwin Morin into a batter in exchange for Hollywood becoming a pitcher.
In the Season 13 elections, the Garages received the Infuse will, increasing the stats of Alaynabella Hollywood, and the Foreshadow will, shadowing Jaylen Hotdogfingers for Nolanestophia Patterson. They also received the Stow Away blessing, adding Magi Ruiz to their pitching rotation. The Garages were targeted by the Hades Tigers' Exchange will, trading Paula Turnip for Carmelo Plums, and the Tokyo Lift's Exchange, trading Goodwin Morin for Lotus Mango.
During the Season 14 elections, the Garages received the Infuse will, increasing the stats of Malik Destiny; the Foreshadow will, shadowing Summers Pony for Oliver Loofah; and the Plunder will, reviving Chorby Soul and sending Arturo Huerta to the Shadows. They also received the Min-Max blessing, making Wyatt Mason X a Maximalist and Oliver Loofah a Minimalist, and doing the same for players on each other team in Mild High.
During the Season 15 elections, the Garages were affected by the New York Millennials' Plunder will, trading away Chorby Soul for Penelope Mathews, and the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Plunder will, trading away Jaylen Hotdogfingers for Conditional Yuniesky between the teams' Shadows. The Garages themselves received the Reform will, replacing Chorby Soul's Debt modification with Unstable; the Enrich will, gaining the Life of the Party modification for the following season; and the Move will, stealing back Jaylen Hotdogfingers to their rotation. They also received the Shadow Running Practice blessing, boosting the Baserunning of all players in their Shadows.
During the Season 16 elections, the Garages were affected by the Hades Tigers' Equivalent Exchange will, trading away Lenny Marijuana for Hiroto Wilcox. The Garages themselves received the Plunder will, stealing York Silk from the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for Carmelo Plums; the Foreshadow will, sending Alaynabella Hollywood to the Shadows in exchange for Mike Townsend, and the Move will, moving Hollywood to their lineup. They also won the Handcrafted Bat Drop blesssing, granting Quack Enjoyable a Sharp Bat, and the Shadow Pitching Practice and Shadow Defense Practice blessings, boosting the appropriate stats for all players in their Shadows.
During the Season 17 elections, the Garages were affected by the Hades Tigers' Equivalent Exchange will, trading Hiroto Wilcox back again for Lenny Marijuana, and the Hellmouth Sunbeams' Equivalent Exchange will, trading away Howell Franklin for Brisket Friendo. The Garages themselves received the Reform will, replacing Jaylen Hotdogfingers's Fliickerrriiing modification with Super Idol, and the Move will, moving Fitzgerald Wanderlust] to the Shadows. The Garages also won the Handcrafted Jersey Drop blessing, giving Theodore Duende a Traveling Head Jersey, and the In a Pinch blessing, moving Arturo Huerta from the Shadows to the lineup.
During the Season 18 elections, the Garages received the Move will, sending Theodore Duende to the Shadows; the Equivalent Exchange will, trading Quack Enjoyable to the Hellmouth Sunbeams for Avila Guzman, and the Alternate Trust will, rerolling Brisket Friendo and making them Negative. The Garages also won the Shadow of the Bats blessing, boosting the batting of all players in their Shadows, and the Class Act blessing, granting them Shame Donor for the next season.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For a more in-depth look at the team, see Seattle Garages/History.
The Garages play their home games at Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility, also known as the Big Garage, which is located inside an aircraft hangar, a garage for planes.
The Garages are also a musical supergroup known by several names and composed of members of the best bands in the Seattle blunge scene. The team plays exclusively against teams that happen to be in the same city as their Eternal Tour, which lines up perfectly with their League-mandated schedule.
They are also an anarcho-syndicalist collective.
The Seattle Garages have no coach and instead communally coach each other.
Main Page: United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers.
Garages management initially pitched Jerry the Car as a mascot for the team. However, following massive fan outcry, Seattle Garages management tasked its active player roster with the creation of a new mascot. Unable to agree on one of fourteen pitches from every member of the team, it was agreed to let all players have their own mascot as a short-term solution. Following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, mascots, players and teams agreed on a formal process of representation on a permanent basis, honoring Jaylen's mascot Connie the Cone, and allowing new player Derrick Kruger to add his own mascot, Casey Cat Tree.
Garages live commentary is provided by Mama Duende, who also provides orange slices and juice boxes for the team at the end of each game. Despite her name, Mama Duende bears no relation to Theodore Duende. She is very nice.
For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Seattle Garages/Fan Culture.
The Garages have a die-hard fan base known as "the Band". Many fans are known to camp out in the stands for weeks or even months on end, enjoying games and concerts 24/7.
- "PARK IT!"
- "PLUG THE BANDS!" (followed by everyone shouting out names of local independent bands)
- "TOWNSEND!" (exasperatedly, for pitcher Mike Townsend)
- "NAIL BAT" (a commonly used chant for batter Allison Abbott)
See Generalized Seattle Garages fan art here. See player specific fan art on their individual wiki.