The Grand Unslam, (sometimes known as The Grand Sham) is an event that took place on Season 3 Day 73, during the 15th inning of a game between the Charleston Shoe Thieves and the Los Angeles Tacos, and resulted in "a Grand Slam so powerful, it broke spacetime and let the team steal an entire game."
Very little is known or understood about the exact nature of the events that took place, but its observable consequences have produced phenomenal changes in the world of Blaseball: In the hours following the event, The Shelled One took over the front page of Blaseball.com, broadcasting a message to the entire League. At the end of the season, league officials cited The Grand Unslam as the cause of the events that split the city of Los Angeles into an unlimited number of cities. Further incidents in the world of Blaseball can also be attributed to the cascading effect of The Grand Unslam, such as The Wyatt Masoning and Alternate Realities.
Timeline of Events
The Season 3 Day 73 match between the Charleston Shoe Thieves and the Los Angeles Tacos that triggered The Grand Unslam had already achieved a place in Blaseball history as the longest game (by minutes played) to that point, at 54 minutes long. Many fans at the time had wondered if this would be the first time the Spillover rule could come into effect, and if the next hour's games would be postponed.
The Shoe Thieves were building to a 14-13 lead with one out at the top of the 15th inning, when Sebastian Woodman took to bat against Tacos pitcher Lee Davenport, drawing a walk and loading the bases. Following Woodman, Workman Gloom batted a single, and Esme Ramsey drew a walk, putting the score at 16-13 for the Shoe Thieves. Blankenship Fischer struck out, leaving Morrow Doyle at bat. Following a strike on the first pitch, they hit the grand slam, bringing the score to 20-13.
Play seemed to proceed as usual following the event. Ren Hunter hit a single, and Velazquez Alstott got up to bat. The circumstances leading to Alstott getting the third out for her team are unclear, due to either an unusual amount of birds on and around the field, or a small disruption to the timeline.
Bottom of the 15th started, Moses Simmons going up at bat for the Tacos against Beasley Gloom. After one out in three pitches, the state of the game reverted to top of the 15th, no outs, and a 16-13 score.
Regarding this moment, ShoeThieves.com wrote: "At fifty five minutes, the game stopped. Blaseball stopped. The Commissioner quickly declared a siesta, but it soon became obvious: even the Commissioner didn't know what was going on."
Appearance of The Peanut
- DID YOU TASTE THE INFINITE?
- I AM BENEVOLENT
- I AM A SNACK
- I AM A LEGUME
- I WAS BENEVOLENT
- YOU ARE INSATIABLE
- WHERE IS YOUR RESTRAINT?
Regular play did not resume in full until three hours later.
After the siesta finished, the standings reflected both versions of the game, with the Shoe Thieves having a listed record of 44-31 and the Tacos 30-45. This left them each with 75 total games played at the end of day 74, with one extra win for the Thieves and one extra loss for the Tacos, and both with one more game played than the rest of the league.
"The Grand Unslam had fractured time, repeating the end of the game again for another win. Both the Shoe Thieves and the Tacos have an extra game in their standings, evidence that the end of the game did, in fact, happen twice," wrote ShoeThieves.com about the magnitude of this event.
Additionally, fans reported glitches while viewing team scores post-siesta, observing that games would jump up and down the page at random. Though it may be mere coincidence, many fans speculate this to be a direct consequence of the divergent timelines not fully merging.
The Microphone Lifts ERROR: The Grand Unslam Weakened the Bridge Spacetime Tears over Los Angeles The Infinite cit(ies) shine Platonic Form corrupted You've looked too close...
The Los Angeles Tacos were immediately renamed the Unlimited Tacos, appearing to reflect the city of Los Angeles having split into "infinite cit(ies)." Additionally, the entire player roster of the Unlimited Tacos all suddenly bore the name Wyatt Mason in an event now known as The Wyatt Masoning.
The Commissioner later stated they are "looking into the situation." This concluded with an official league investigation that attempted to resolve The Wyatt Masoning, which is known as The Unmasoning.
It is unknown at this time what it means for "the Bridge" to be "weakened," or for the "Platonic Form" to be "corrupted." However, The Commissioner later offered the uncertain comment: "platonic [meaning] like just friends?" It is believed that The Commissioner also does not know what it means.
Note: A platonic form is a philosophical concept amounting to 'the idealized/conceptual version of something - a thing in the form of an idea'. The corrupting of the platonic form may imply the grand unslam or lifting of the mic damaged the very nature of Blaseball itself, which may be reflected in the reality distorting nature of the feedback weather that would be introduced in the following season. It may also mean that the platonic form of this decree was damaged, resulting in feedback weather as a side effect in addition to the player bios it added.
This event is known as the Grand Unslam. The Unslam weakened the Bridge, which resulted in space-time tearing over LA when the Microphone lifted, giving us Los Angeli, Wyatt Masoning, and the Unlimited Tacos. I think.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Blaseball scholars disagree on the meaning or the implications of The Grand Unslam. While some see this as a simple disruption of the space-time continuum consistent with running games on the Immaterial Plane, Blaseball theologists argue that such an unlikely Grand Slam at such a late point in a regular season game cannot be mere chance, and points to the influence of a greater power. Citing the messages of The Peanut as evidence, they argue that The Grand Unslam marked a point of particular proximity with the Blaseball Gods, and that the following events were an expression of their "wrath."
In an article for "Blaseball Worship Today," philosopher Hamilton Stilts wrote: "If the arrival of birds was a sign that the Gods were watching us, The Grand Unslam represents the moment Blaseball looked back. Were we worthy to see the faces of our Gods? Based on the events that followed, it is obvious that we were not."
- InspectorCaracal (6 Aug 2020). "The Grand Unslam". shoethieves.com. Retrieved 10 Aug 2020.
- SpaceJew [@XtraJewrestrial] (6 Aug 2020). “let's talk about today's game of #blaseball” (Tweet) - via Twitter.
- The Peanut (6 Aug 2020). "Front Page". Blaseball. Retrieved 6 Aug 2020.
- Internet League Blaseball (9 Aug 2020). "The Season 3 Election". Blaseball. Retrieved 10 Aug 2020.
- The Commissioner [@blaseballcomms] (9 Aug 2020). "the league is looking into the situation in los angeles" (Tweet) - via Twitter.
- The Commissioner [@blaseballcomms] (19 Aug 2020). "platonic like just friends?" (Tweet) - via Twitter.
- The Commissioner [@blaseballcomms] (19 Aug 2020). Tweet - via Twitter.