Boston Flowers/History

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Founding and Growth

Boston has a long and storied history. Founded in a swamp in the late 1700s, the city was slowly built up by landfill. While Boston was famous for it's public gardens and historic architecture, it was most well known around the world for its natural resources. Boston had the world's largest deposit of raw donuts buried deep underneath it, a fact which led to the founding of the Dunkies Donuts corporation.

Boston grew on the wealth Dunkies brought into the city, expanding ever outwards as more donut mines and coffee drilling platforms were built in the Commonwealth. In 1976, it was estimated that 70% of the city's residents were Dunkies employees.

The Dunkies Years

In XX04, the Dunkies Donuts Corporation was voted in as the mayor of Boston due to a technical loophole that allowed corporate entities to run for office. Quickly they began ramping up production, building new factories and streamlining the school to employee pipeline. Paving over the Boston Garden to build their new HQ, Dunkies established their new control over the city.

With donut mining and coffee drilling reaching record highs, it didn't take long for industrial disaster to strike. In XX09, a series of total cave-ins and collapses of the mines beneath Boston opened massive sinkholes into the ground, exposing the grand jelly reservoirs Dunkies had installed. In an event that would be known as the Great Jelly Flood, donut jelly surged into the streets of Boston, killing and injuring hundreds of miners.

Even this disaster did not stop the Dunkies Corporation, and after a basic effort to clean up the jelly, Boston returned to business as usual. Dunkies went on to develop the Dunkies Donuts Human Replacements in XX12, a line of robots that ran on Dunkies coffee and would not make the same mistakes as their human employees.

The Big Dunk

Dunkie’s Donuts was in heated conflict with its greatest enemy, the Royal Coffee House of Tom Hurtin’s. Due to a schism within the Royal Canadian Baristas, many Baristas left the court of Tom Hurtin’s and moved to Boston. Dunkies executives outwardly accepted these Baristas, but secretly began work on making them obsolete.

Ongoing experiments in Clambridge's many universities revealed that it was possible to synthesize coffee beans from outside the universe. Desperate to compete with the Baristas, Dunkies began its biggest project yet: a massive particle accelerator known as the Super Donut. Built in the ground under Dunkies HQ and the paved-over Garden, the Super Donut promised to synthesize enough beans to more than triple the corporation's yearly profit. However, the accelerator was flawed.

The first and only time the Super Donut was turned on, the fundamental particles inside began a resonance cascade. In an unstoppable reaction, the Super Donut collapsed in on itself in a temporal implosion, obliterating Dunkies HQ and opening uncountable rifts in the space-time around Boston. Almost immediately, Boston began to merge with versions of itself from the past, future, and alternate timelines, creating the version of the city that can be seen today

The Great Coffee War

Following the fall of Dunkies Donuts, rival coffee chain Tom Hurtin’s attempted an invasion of Eng Newland, eager to get their hands on the donut deposits beneath the city. Boston was underprepared, and still reeling from the Big Dunk. It fell to local Bostonian and ex-Barista Ulysses D. Donut to put together a defense. Donut had defected from the Barista orders after discovering how to brew tea, something that was strictly forbidden in the Orders, and used his knowledge of Barista tactics to great effect in the ensuing battle.

Donut rallied a small force and decimated Tom Hurtin’s forces at the battle of Bastings, a match of Go Flish which lasted 12 days and 10 nights. The war was disastrous for Tom Hurtin’s due to the conversion rate; they had to convert all of their money to USD, causing their billions of Canadian Tire Money to become 14 dollars, an empty jar of Maple Syrup, and a broken paperclip. Following this deadly blow to their finances, Tom Hurtin’s went bankrupt.

Post-Big Dunk


After the Coffee War, the inhabitants of shattered Boston renounced capitalist living and began returning nature to the city. New species emerged from the distortions, and together, the Bostonians recreated their city.

The nature in and around Boston seemed almost eager to reclaim the city. Plants of all kind soon strung themselves up buildings and across streets. As the center of the distortions, the Garden bled together with every possible version of itself, replacing the pavement and factories of Dunkies HQ with infinite acres of fens, marsh, and forest.

The Congress

One of the first major undertakings in the rebuilding was the formation of the Boston Congress. In their first meeting, the congress created the current Mayoral system. At the beginning of every Blaseball season ("Sunday"), a mayor is elected. The position is the only form of elected official in Boston, and mainly serves a ceremonial role in various community undertaking. The first mayor elected was Ulysses D. Donut, who holds the position to this day. No one has ever run against Donut.

The second act of the Congress was to ban coffee from the city, in all forms. However, given the lack of any government, this ban has never been enforced. A thriving coffee black market quickly formed, with speakeasies run by deadly coffee gangs being found on nearly every city block.

The Congress continues to meet every "Sunday" to reappoint Donut as the mayor and lament the massive amount of coffee still present in Boston.

The Second Dunk & End of the Expansion Era

The Second Dunk

During the events of Season 21 Gloria Bugsnax stole an incredibly eDense item called the Chorby's Soul II from Chorby Soul IV on the Ohio Worms. As a result Boston was suddenly and dramatically plunged deep into Immateria.

Boston and the regular citizens were once again thrust into danger due to the events occurring in Blaseball. The destruction and damage caused in this event was significant enough to be referred to as "The Second Dunk".

Although the threat was eventually resolved it began a major shift in the space-time diplomatic landscape of Boston. Some of the alternate realities connected to this Boston via space-time rifts began to directly provide help and support, while others either closed themselves off to avoid danger or were closed by The Weavers.

End of the Expansion Era

Only three seasons later in Season β24 Blaseball would place Boston and the places it is connected to via space-time rifts in great danger. The Weavers closed off even more of the space-time rifts to protect them from the impending danger of incineration by Supernova Eclipse or Nullification by the Black Hole (Black Hole).

Ultimately Boston would survive the risk of incineration, and be Forced into the Vault thus protecting the city from being Nullified directly. However this was not a clean getaway and the city of Boston would undergo another period of restoration and rebuilding.

Post-Expansion Era

The Post-Expansion Era has not yet had any notable historical events occur.

Information on the current state of Boston and it's residents can be found on the main Boston Page.

Team Relationships

The Flowers pride themselves on being friends with every other team in Blaseball. While there are some teams that consider themselves the Flowers' rival, the Flowers do not have any hard feelings towards them. In addition to general good feeling and the Memorial Bat Garden, the Flowers have had a few collaborations with other teams.

The Lovers Bouquet Share

After games at The Garden, the San Francisco Lovers would stick around to help out with the gardening. As a thank you for their efforts, the Flowers began putting together bouquets. As their relationship grew, the bouquets grew ever more elaborate, and now the Lovers and Flowers often spend the time after their games together putting together complex and beautiful personalized bouquets for the Lovers and their loved ones.

Hellmouth Beautification Project

When a band of wandering gardeners went too far into one of Boston's many dimensional distortions, they found themselves in Hellmouth, Utah. By pure happenstance, a cactus swap was happening at that exact moment and the Bostonians quickly found themselves engaged in a lively discussion with Eugenia Bickle of the Hellmouth Sunbeams about the proper way to care for a succulent.

Enraptured by the hostile environment and the potential extremophile plants that could be grown there, they quickly formed plans for a shared gardening experiment. They would set up a greenhouse in the distortion between Boston and Hellmouth where they would work together to custom-make beautiful plants that could survive in Hellmouth's extreme environment. Sure enough, The Hellmouth Beautification Society was born.

Dale Portal

When team captain and fan-favorite Beck Whitney was swapped by Feedback to the Miami Dale in exchange for Hahn Fox, it was a tragedy for the team. Coming off the planting of Caligula Lotus, Whitney leaving Boston meant she was leaving her girlfriend behind, and Fox was leaving her wife in Miami. Neither of the players or teams was happy about this trade, and decided to work together to ensure their captains could see their loved ones again.

Through Boston's unique dimensional distortions, a portal was found that connected the city to Miami via the harbor. Cali exerted her pull over the city itself, and with the help of Jasmine Washington they firmed up the portal, making the two cities merely a boat ride away from each other. Now with a much easier commute, Whitney and Fox were able to visit their respective homes as often as they wanted.