Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict

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COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict was an event in Blaseball History which occured between and around XX44-XX12. It was a conflict between the two, at the time, rival splorts of Blaseball and Glolf, and resulted in the eradication of Glolf.

Background

Ever since and before the inception of splorts, Blaseball and Glolf were naturally at odds. The inherently anticapitalist nature of Blaseball frequently caused conflict between fans and players of the splort with those of Glolf, a splort which is said to have had a dangerously antianticapitalist effect on spectators and bystanders in as many as seven offset metaphysics extrusions when played.


Tensions escalated during the season of XX67 when a severe clerical error caused Glolf and Blaseball games to be scheduled at the same time, in the same physical and metaphysical locations. The violent and energetic mutual annihilation of anticapitalist and antianticapitalist particulates during these games led to 13% more player annihilations than typically accounted for in a regular Blaseball season.

The Clonflict

Following the disastrous XX67 season, a coalition of Blaseball players, Umpires, and concessions workers united in an effort to permanently end the danger of Glolf. They challenged the then-dominant Glolf league to a 7 game No-Stars Series in which only the verifiably worst available players from both splorts could compete.

Both teams played under the rules and regulations of their own splorts. However, the Glolf players made a critical error by failing to ensure the scorers and judges they employed weren't flammable, and after a series of strategic Incinerations by the Blaseball Umpires, it was decided the game would be judged exclusively under Blaseball rules.

Despite playing a splort in which they lacked training and knoweldge, the Glolf players performed surprisingly well, with the use of motorized carts in lieu of traditional blaserunning proving a critical advantage. The increased performance may also have been due to Jamazon's meddling as outlined in the Partytime Papers. Ultimately, however, the Blaseball players eventually adopted a Hit By Pitch based strategy that quickly resulted in the Glolf team being unable to field enough players to participate, and the game ended in a 6-4 Shame victory for the Blaseball players.

According to the terms of the pre-game agreement, the splort of Glolf was subsequently eradicated from the course of history, its players converted into transbiological materials, and the vast majority of all records of the splort destroyed. Due to a transtemporally binding clause in the agreement, history was altered in all 5.8 directions to remove any and all Glolf games, and as of The Discipline Era of Blaseball, no Glolf games have ever been played.