Kit Adamses

From Blaseball Wiki

Kit Adamses is a player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Adamses has previously played for the Dallas Steaks.

Official League Records

Adamses joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Dallas Steaks after the incineration of August Mina via the Season β9 blessingKill Your Darling.

During the Season β14 elections, Adamses retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Sam Scandal as a result of the Steaks' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 10.2 -> 11.2 stat increase.

During the December 9, 2022 Fall Ball, Adamses fell to the Charleston Shoe Thieves.

During the Season 2 elections, Adamses' pitching increased to 4 stars as a result of the Telekinesis blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Pre-Blaseball

Adamses has a flourishing culinary career which started long before they joined the Dallas Steaks. They are the owner of the food truck Adams’s, renowned throughout Dallas for its delicious grilled foods and its effort to educate the community about food and culture. The truck has a selection of books and a cart of tablets to facilitate learning, and Adamses also frequently holds cooking demonstrations from the truck to show off easy and simple recipes that can be made at home.

Their culinary career began as a line cook at Mina Cuisina, the restaurant owned by former Dallas Steaks player August Mina. Over the years, they slowly worked their way up until they were Mina’s sous chef. The two also became close friends, and though Adamses left to start their food truck and Mina stepped away from her restaurant duties to become a Blaseball player, they remained in touch. Adamses would frequently watch the Steaks play home games at the George Foreman Stadium and sometimes opened their food truck there on game days.

Recruitment to the Steaks

Adamses’ Blaseball career commenced with the incineration of August Mina at the end of Season 9 as a result of the Kill Your Darling blessing. Adamses had been in the middle of a cooking demonstration when they were suddenly teleported into the Steaks dugout, wearing a Steaks jersey, immediately after the blessing took effect[1]. Though they had no prior Blaseball, let alone splorts, experience, they joined the team in order to avenge their friend. Blaseball analysts are uncertain whether Adamses was recruited due to their connection to Mina, or for more arbitrary reasons. Nevertheless, Adamses fits in well with the Steaks’ philosophy of grillin’ and chillin’, and the team particularly enjoys their signature char siu dish.

Until the end of Season 12 of Internet League Blaseball, Adamses was the only active pitcher in the league with a half-star rating (all other pitchers had at least one star). They were reportedly aware of this fact, and had been observed spending extra time after practice in the bullpen. However, this sometimes led to overuse injuries such as tendonitis, and Adamses was advised multiple times by Steaks captain Conner Haley and assistant pitching coach August Mina (who was resurrected as a forest sprite), to take it easy. They have taken this advice to heart and realized that the team welcomes and supports them regardless of their Blaseball skill.

Following Party Time at the end of Season 12, Kit Adamses now has one whole pitching star.

The "RKH" Phenomenon ("Real Kit Hours")

Though its cause is unknown, fans of the Dallas Steaks (and patrons of the food truck, Adams’s) have observed a repeated strange experience around the food truck that seems to coincide with the Steaks’ performance on the field.

The Chinese cuisine offered at Adams's is always high-quality, making it a very popular event when the truck visits other cities during Steaks Away games. But while Kit’s food is always delicious, patrons of the food truck began to agree that orders served during times when Kit was pitching tasted even better. Patrons could not articulate on how, exactly, the food was different, other than a vague sensation that the flavors felt more "real."

What made this phenomenon even stranger was that Kit Adamses could be clearly seen inside the truck, cooking the food diligently and hand-delivering it with a smile. Simultaneously, the TV screen on the side of the truck that broadcast the Steaks game would display Adamses pitching from the mound. Eventually, patrons charted out a pattern: the more hits allowed by Kit's pitches, the more sensational the food cooked by Kit tasted.

Most unusual of all, patrons dining at Adams's during these games would seem to experience fluctuating time. A person could arrive at Adams's at 12:00, order char siu for lunch, watch the entire Steaks game, and order char siu again for dinner, and finally discover when they left Adams's that the time was now 12:01. At first, it was believed that some manner of time distortion bubble was surrounding the food truck, freezing time for the people eating there. Further investigation by paranormal chronometrists has discovered that the opposite is true; time experienced by people eating at Adams's seems to proceed naturally, while the rest of the world continuously rewinds and loops until the game is over.

Because the phenomenon has only been observed while Kit is pitching in rotation, and because the time experienced by diners has been judged as "really real, like, really really real, very real even" by investigators, patrons of Adams's refer to these periods as Real Kit Hours. It has become an extremely popular time to eat at the food truck, and while gourmets around the world always look forward to Steaks games, it is Kit's turn in rotation that draws the most salivating anticipation.

Regular patrons of Adams's are estimated to have anywhere from 5 to 300,005 extra hours lived, compared to people who have never eaten there.

Neither the Kit Adamses in the stadium nor the Kit Adamses found in the kitchen have commented on the phenomenon.

Trivia

  • Adamses’ hugs are legendary among their friends and teammates.
  • When accompanying teammates to a concert or similarly high-energy venue, Adamses can always be counted upon to bring snacks and water.
  • Adamses enjoys programming visual novels for their pre-game ritual.

Fan Works


References